Sex, Girlfriends and Shit VII: "Power Moves For High Quality Women" - General

[QUOTE=Dominic0904;51301294]Got drinks with two girls on Friday and Saturday :joy: Not even looking to get laid with them (Though it would be good end to the night(s). Just looking forward to the one on one male-female contact (that sounds weird).[/QUOTE] Update: Got laid...both nights. I'm more charismatic than I think apparently.

[QUOTE=reevezy67;51317337]I regained my libido somewhat after eating healthier and exercising slightly less(I was way overdoing it). I've got to give up trash food once and for all, it gives me acne problems too. My libido was still way higher like two years ago when I didn't have a girlfriend, too much porn and jacking off. I wish I could have sex as often as I used to jack off. Also I haven't watched porn intentionally in almost a year and I've been jacking it less often. [/QUOTE] I'm in pretty good shape, and I eat a lot of healthy foods. I've been working on giving up sexual stuff outside of sex and whatever. Only a few weeks into that, hopefully there's an improvement.

Okay so everything was fine, but we decided to take it further and get intimate... Everything leading up to sex was perfect, but then things changed when it actually came to that part.. After a while she stopped us, and I asked what's wrong, she said nothing and said "next time" and I immediately knew there was something wrong.. she tried to reassure me it's fine but eventually I learned (I was scared she would just tell me over messages that there's some huge problem, so I pressed her to be honest with me - I feel bad for it, but I think that she probably doesn't feel bad for telling me) she has only left a long term (3 year) relationship in August. She told me a few times she finds it hard to put her feelings into words, and she said to me that she will write when she finds the words to express her feelings... Some back story though, we have been on a couple of dates, and we spoke a lot on whatsapp too, I think she has feelings for sure, but she's afraid of being hurt again, or afraid of messing something up. I also learned she suffers with depression (I'm fairly sure because of a couple of reasons, something happened with a sibling and she wouldn't talk about it, but I have a decent idea), but when we were on those dates, I didn't see a single sign of her not feeling anything but happy, not like the other day when I could immediately see by her face. So I think that she just isn't ready for something like that, which is fine, I don't even care that much about it, I care more about spending time with someone and doing something memorable. Watching her walk outside after leaving my place wasn't something I hope I'll have to do again, I was hoping she would look back but she didn't - probably because she was upset - and I think it's simply because she thought she was ready, but she wasn't. I understand that, if I had any idea she wasn't just another girl looking for someone to care about her, but had this past stuff, then it would have gone a lot different. I genuinely thought she was perfectly fine, we spoke a few times about just being honest and saying if something isn't good - and there has only been once when there's needed to be a talk - and we met again after that... She just isn't sure, and I just want to reassure her that there's no pressure, I never once pressured anything - I actually was hoping we would go to see a movie on saturday instead, but she wanted to come and see me at my place now I'm moved in. I'm just being hopeful for the best, I don't believe she lied about all of the things she said, or about how she made me feel when we kissed, the way she looks at me, with those eyes which are screaming out at me, I don't think it's possible for someone to fake those things - so I believe that she simply is afraid of getting hurt, or afraid of letting someone in again so soon, and I am understanding of that. I just hope that it won't be the last time we see eachother, because if things are going to end I need closure, even if it's going to get coffee and listening to her tell me that she doesn't want to continue with it. But I don't think that is what she is going to tell me, I think she's going to tell me the opposite, she just needs time to find the words to express her feelings and when she does, I think we will be able to learn from it and continue, albeit in a slightly different manner, but an overall positive one. Not really looking for advice, just really typing because I need to get it out, but if anyone has insight into things like depression, I'd appreciate the advice - I have a limited experience with depression myself, including from my own experience, but I think that everyone is different and there's no way I can generalise something so complex.

My significant other finally explained to me how she felt about not feeling like she's in love with me anymore but that she still loves me a lot as a person. Also explained how she's used to being in open relationships because she was in the past and doesn't really want to be stuck in a monogamous relationship, and was saying stuff about how she thinks I need to find another girl that makes me happier. This along with kind of being put in a situation where we both had to live together faster than we intended has made me the opposite of optimistic about our relationship going forward. Fuck

[QUOTE=Kite_shugo;51322859]My significant other finally explained to me how she felt about not feeling like she's in love with me anymore but that she still loves me a lot as a person. Also explained how she's used to being in open relationships because she was in the past and doesn't really want to be stuck in a monogamous relationship, and was saying stuff about how she thinks I need to find another girl that makes me happier. This along with kind of being put in a situation where we both had to live together faster than we intended has made me the opposite of optimistic about our relationship going forward. Fuck[/QUOTE] But it sort of sounds like she ended it? What is there going forward?

[QUOTE=Legend286;51322460]Okay so everything was fine, but we decided to take it further and get intimate... Everything leading up to sex was perfect, but then things changed when it actually came to that part.. After a while she stopped us, and I asked what's wrong, she said nothing and said "next time" and I immediately knew there was something wrong.. she tried to reassure me it's fine but eventually I learned (I was scared she would just tell me over messages that there's some huge problem, so I pressed her to be honest with me - I feel bad for it, but I think that she probably doesn't feel bad for telling me) she has only left a long term (3 year) relationship in August. She told me a few times she finds it hard to put her feelings into words, and she said to me that she will write when she finds the words to express her feelings... Some back story though, we have been on a couple of dates, and we spoke a lot on whatsapp too, I think she has feelings for sure, but she's afraid of being hurt again, or afraid of messing something up. I also learned she suffers with depression (I'm fairly sure because of a couple of reasons, something happened with a sibling and she wouldn't talk about it, but I have a decent idea), but when we were on those dates, I didn't see a single sign of her not feeling anything but happy, not like the other day when I could immediately see by her face. So I think that she just isn't ready for something like that, which is fine, I don't even care that much about it, I care more about spending time with someone and doing something memorable. Watching her walk outside after leaving my place wasn't something I hope I'll have to do again, I was hoping she would look back but she didn't - probably because she was upset - and I think it's simply because she thought she was ready, but she wasn't. I understand that, if I had any idea she wasn't just another girl looking for someone to care about her, but had this past stuff, then it would have gone a lot different. I genuinely thought she was perfectly fine, we spoke a few times about just being honest and saying if something isn't good - and there has only been once when there's needed to be a talk - and we met again after that... She just isn't sure, and I just want to reassure her that there's no pressure, I never once pressured anything - I actually was hoping we would go to see a movie on saturday instead, but she wanted to come and see me at my place now I'm moved in. I'm just being hopeful for the best, I don't believe she lied about all of the things she said, or about how she made me feel when we kissed, the way she looks at me, with those eyes which are screaming out at me, I don't think it's possible for someone to fake those things - so I believe that she simply is afraid of getting hurt, or afraid of letting someone in again so soon, and I am understanding of that. I just hope that it won't be the last time we see eachother, because if things are going to end I need closure, even if it's going to get coffee and listening to her tell me that she doesn't want to continue with it. But I don't think that is what she is going to tell me, I think she's going to tell me the opposite, she just needs time to find the words to express her feelings and when she does, I think we will be able to learn from it and continue, albeit in a slightly different manner, but an overall positive one. Not really looking for advice, just really typing because I need to get it out, but if anyone has insight into things like depression, I'd appreciate the advice - I have a limited experience with depression myself, including from my own experience, but I think that everyone is different and there's no way I can generalise something so complex.[/QUOTE] Just so its not lost on the page before, and also... I messaged her basically saying I will wait until she's ready to talk to me and told her I understand that she thought she was ready when she wasn't. I just hope I'm right about her, because if I am I think that it will be difficult at first (mainly for her, I have felt good for the past few months being where I am now and it's looking like I'll continue to live here where I'm surrounded by amazing friends), but incredibly worth it.

[QUOTE=killerteacup;51324530]But it sort of sounds like she ended it? What is there going forward?[/QUOTE] She's basically done everything except say that it's over and has been trying to make me optimistic about it working. But she just told me today basically that she doesn't think she can see herself being with a guy again, only girls. I guess I just have to be the one to end it :/ These 2 months till I'm out of the lease are gonna be long...

[QUOTE=Kite_shugo;51325709]She's basically done everything except say that it's over and has been trying to make me optimistic about it working. But she just told me today basically that she doesn't think she can see herself being with a guy again, only girls. I guess I just have to be the one to end it :/ These 2 months till I'm out of the lease are gonna be long...[/QUOTE] Man, that sucks, but if it's a question of sexuality it sounds like there's not much you can do. I think it's a bit shit of her that she won't take the responsibility to end it. Set some strong boundaries over the next couple months man and move out asap. Are you sharing with just her? If there are other housemates you could sublet and have the subletter sign on to a new lease after 2 months or whatever

[QUOTE=killerteacup;51326123]Man, that sucks, but if it's a question of sexuality it sounds like there's not much you can do. I think it's a bit shit of her that she won't take the responsibility to end it. Set some strong boundaries over the next couple months man and move out asap. Are you sharing with just her? If there are other housemates you could sublet and have the subletter sign on to a new lease after 2 months or whatever[/QUOTE] I honestly don't know at this point, I'm feeling so empty and husk like. I really didn't want to let my feelings become so vulnerable to someone again but I did with her. It's just me and her here and I'm the only one on the lease. cross post from confessions in FT [QUOTE=Kite_shugo;51327032]Yeah it's not my first (probably my 4th real and long relationship) but I appreciate your words. It felt like this time it was actual love now that I'm older and not a silly idea of love you can find in highschool. But I'll find a way to get over it someway or another. I just found out she actually ended up having sex with another girl and cheating on me(she's bi) when she got drunk for the first time in a long ass time a weekend ago. She finally admitted it to me today, so that's some fuck. But at least she was able to admit it to me I guess. I can appreciate that she did that. Still really sucked to hear though. And that she thinks she was never truly over her ex-husband during the time we were dating for a year+. Hopefully I can get over it sooner than later[/QUOTE] I'll just give her the space she wants and see what happens with us. Not much else I can do at this point.

After a year in my relationship I sometimes find it hard to keep a conversation going with my girlfriend. There's a language barrier, we always had the most fun conversing in Chinese, since I have a passion for learning Chinese, she doesn't have the same passion for English, but I feel bad not giving her some English experience, it's something she wants to learn but she doesn't really have the passion I do. I think this makes it a bit awkward for me to relax and just talk to her now. I understand it's bad to be teaching each other in a relationship, it was a mistake, but I really used her at the start of the relationship to improve my Chinese, so I'm trying to speak English more often now to make up for it. I dunno, maybe it will go away, in the meanwhile I've been trying to make my days more interesting so I have more to talk to her about. I think I'm stressing too much and making it worse. [editline]9th November 2016[/editline] I think the passion for language learning kind of blinded me, but I have really grown to like her and don't want to use her anymore.

[QUOTE=Kite_shugo;51328510]I honestly don't know at this point, I'm feeling so empty and husk like. I really didn't want to let my feelings become so vulnerable to someone again but I did with her. It's just me and her here and I'm the only one on the lease. cross post from confessions in FT I'll just give her the space she wants and see what happens with us. Not much else I can do at this point.[/QUOTE] It's been really hard to give her her space when we live together and my emotions are so fucked. God why can't I just turn off my emotions, I let myself become really immature the past two nights from all the things swirling in my head. The best thing I can do at all is just give her her own space and try not to push my feelings.

Lil update, I was right to think how I did... She's being responsive to what I'm saying and were gonna go out next week when she's free from uni :3 gonna be so romantic and get her flowers and gonna make her some chocolates cos I have always wanted to learn how...

Recently my Girlfriend has been trying to understand my lingo and interests. Starting with video games. She really liked watching me play the Witcher as she loved the lore and the world and stuff. Tried Skyrim and she wasn't a fan, she really can't do twin stick controls, treats them both as separate buttons and all but that can't be helped at the moment. Tried persona 4 after and she got way more into that, played it for 2 hours (on a lower difficulty). Says she wants to see this one through to the end. It makes me feel kind of special when she really tries to take an interest in my nerd shit. Another example, we're most of the way through the first series of pokemon and she's loving it.

So we finally found condoms that fit...! [THUMB]http://i.imgur.com/738j7lo.jpg[/THUMB] We are crying, haven't had PIV sex in so long because I lost access to birth control. We didn't have any idea his dick was even above average until now because none of us has handled anyone else's penises before.

ha 69

[QUOTE=E = MC Hammer;51365377]ha 69[/QUOTE] this was exactly the way we reacted too.

Um, does it really, really matter how many sex parters you've had in your life? Not sure how to explain it but is there a warning sign? Do i need to look out for something specific ? Personally i don't really want to care about it anymore because i did in my last relationship, it made me paranoid and it basically helped destroy my relationship with a girl i used to love very much. I just want to avoid the unnecessary "headach" i guess you can say.

It shouldn't matter, honestly. I mean different people have different expectations and desires, but if someone puts a ton of emphasis on the fact that you've had a couple of sexual partners, that's probably not really a good match. But no, ultimately, it should not matter as long as you've been practicing safe sex and get regularly tested for STDs.

honestly i think i lump "how many people have you fucked" in the category of "I shouldn't ask this but if it comes up i'll deal with it" it's the same category as "hey let me tell you about a threesome i had once" because it probably won't end well, and most people have insecurities one way or another and it's not good

[QUOTE=Bucketboy;51365824]Um, does it really, really matter how many sex parters you've had in your life? Not sure how to explain it but is there a warning sign? Do i need to look out for something specific ? Personally i don't really want to care about it anymore because i did in my last relationship, it made me paranoid and it basically helped destroy my relationship with a girl i used to love very much. I just want to avoid the unnecessary "headach" i guess you can say.[/QUOTE] It doesn't matter how many happened before you, what matters is she loves you now. My last girlfriend had a fair amount of sexual experience before me (meanwhile I was a virgin). It never once crossed my mind that I was far from her first though, because she poured so much attention on me all I knew was that she loved me. If anything it just made her more experienced when she took my virginity. If you can't get over their past, it's a sign you're harboring some insecurities. Feeling like you might not stack up, or that she might not be all in for you. Only real way to cross that is to make yourself confident in your relationship, whether it be through talking or just some sort of revalation. That's my opinion, at least

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;51366576]I wonder, if any relationship lost its insecurities, would it always work out? Are they the root cause of all issues?[/QUOTE] Not necessarily If both parties have contrasting ideals and are unwilling to compromise, that is an issue (also the reason why I broke up)

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;51366576]I wonder, if any relationship lost its insecurities, would it always work out? Are they the root cause of all issues?[/QUOTE] Actually, going off of a list given in my marital adjustment class, more than half of the top 10 reasons for relationship problems are either directly related to or can often be attributed to money. Having different financial goals or not being equally strict in carrying out those goals are some of the biggest reasons couples break up. My memory is a bit rusty at this point but I also recall loss of personal identity being pretty high on that list. This means not having individual hobbies or friends that aren't shared as part of the relationship. In that case, losing insecurities might even be a bad thing and help contribute to that loss of individuality.

I now feel inadequate with my 56mm doms. [sp]Not really[/sp] [editline]14th November 2016[/editline] Actually thought this was smaller than it really is, thanks Google.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;51368085]Actually, going off of a list given in my marital adjustment class, more than half of the top 10 reasons for relationship problems are either directly related to or can often be attributed to money. Having different financial goals or not being equally strict in carrying out those goals are some of the biggest reasons couples break up. My memory is a bit rusty at this point but I also recall loss of personal identity being pretty high on that list. This means not having individual hobbies or friends that aren't shared as part of the relationship. In that case, losing insecurities might even be a bad thing and help contribute to that loss of individuality.[/QUOTE] Loss of personal identity has been a big factor in my reasons for breaking up with people, definitely finance is a big strain too. Insecurities, yes - but more so when I was younger

i'm amazed my posts are still being rated funny in super old threads in this series, i've completely stopped caring about relationships now, since i can't handle denial, i'd rather die a 40 year old lonely virgin :v:

Usually, but not always, when I'm aroused my scrotum gets very tights as if its cold but its not. This causes me to prematurely ejaculate. Has anyone had this problem or have any insight on stuff to help me? Pls help

[QUOTE=reevezy67;51368158]I now feel inadequate with my 56mm doms. [sp]Not really[/sp] [editline]14th November 2016[/editline] Actually thought this was smaller than it really is, thanks Google.[/QUOTE] According to the booklet 53 is standard. Could not give two shits about size personally, just wish non standard condoms werent so expensive/hard to find.

[QUOTE=Heatvision...;51371147]Usually, but not always, when I'm aroused my scrotum gets very tights as if its cold but its not. This causes me to prematurely ejaculate. Has anyone had this problem or have any insight on stuff to help me? Pls help[/QUOTE] Reverse kegels, maybe. I'm no expert, but it loosens things up.

Has anyone ever felt like porn has taught people more about sex than sex ed class does? Sex ed is more about "being safe" and "understanding the risk". "Use a condom and other birth control devices". Meanwhile, porn has taught me that clitoral stimulation is able to make a woman cum more than just vaginal penetration.

i wouldn't say that's entirely fair because a large majority of porn is designed primarily to be visually pleasing and stimulating, and arguably isn't designed to teach you specific things to do. Unless, of course, it's EXACTLY designed to do that (like that one video about how to go down on a woman) i'm not sure if i'd say porn's done more harm than good but i think porn has done a lot to make people have clearly unrealistic expectations about...most things tbh