[QUOTE=Wingz;42909810]what do u know of music theory[/QUOTE]
Judging by the OP. Nothing. Like, maybe they have a theory about what music theory might even vaguely be, but otherwise, nothing.
I think I managed to write a song that covers all of your categories.
"You don't know why I love you
You can't see why I'm sad
I wish we'd still oovoo
Cause your pubes are still rad
I tell you I can taste it
But I remind you I'm blind
Is that a big clit?
Babe you're one of a kind
So when you mouthrape me
With that small tiny phallus
I'll sing you songs
Of my own crying malice
So I'll bite your ant penis
And I'll drink up the blood
So when I fall dead at last
You'll join like I said you would
Like I said you would"
Please give me credit in your song I worked vvv hard on this.
We can light this fire between us
Come with me and touch my penis
My love for you is like your ears
Nothing in life is like your ears
[QUOTE=circuitbawx;42916974]My love for you is like your ears
Nothing in life is like your ears[/QUOTE]
What the fuck did you just say to me?
(General chord progression is Cm - D# - F)
R = (keep repeating until next chord)
[B]VERSE 1[/B]
[Cm]
These feelings that I get
[D#]
Day after day
[F]
In my troubled mind
[Cm]
I wish that you would stay
[Cm (R)]
And though my heart is strong
[D# (R)]
It isn't strong enough
[F (R)]
Every single night
[Cm]
I wish that I was tough
[B]BRIDGE 1[/b]
[G#] [G]
And I miss the way you kiss my lips
[D (R)] [Em (R)]
Or call me on the phone
[G#] [G]
And I miss the sound of your voice
[D (R)] [F#]
I can't go a day without you
[B]CHORUS[/B]
[C] [D] [Em]
I can't go a day without you-u-u-u
[C] [D] [Em]
I miss... calling you mine
[C] [D] [Em (R)]
I miss all the times when we were happy and sad
[C] [D] [Em]
And baby, you were my... world
[b]EDIT:[/b] fuck facepunch messed up my chord formatting
[B]EDIT2:[/B] that was some beautiful formatting facepunch what are you doing
[b]EDIT3:[/b] I'm not crazy, the chord progression makes SOME sense!
[media]http://soundcloud.com/xenoyia/song[/media]
Learn from this guy
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcwd0ZfXe5A[/media]
I fucking hate you
But I love you
I'm bad at keeping my emotions bubbled
You're good at being perfect
We're good at being troubled, yeah
She's like the sunrise
Outshines the moon at night
Precious like starlight
She'll bring in a murderous price
[I]Baby are you an angle
I wanna have sex with youuuu[/I]
i can't give you advice on lyrics in particular but figured i would take a stab at serious advice since nobody else here has.
if you want to improve your writing in general and not just these specific lyrics, the first thing i would recommend doing is going through your poem and marking every cliche phrase you use. phrases like "broken heart" (or the use of the word 'heart' at all but that's a lot to remove entirely), "can't stop thinking about you", etc are enormously cliche phrases that are repeated constantly in music and poetry. if you see any other phrases you've used in your poem that you originally heard in a song or something, try to rephrase them with your own words. the problem with these is that when you hear them over and over again, they lose their emotional impact: the phrase "broken heart" just translates to "unhappy over a breakup" and because this definition is so immediately remembered (especially since it's heard so often), there's no emotional impact of hearing the phrase; it's just another set of words the reader/listener is skimming over.
another easier thing you can do is go through your lyrics and try to write them so they form complete, grammatically correct sentences. most lyrics do use sentence fragments but not quite to this extent - right now your poem goes about 3-4 words before switching to a completely different idea, and there is no clear transition between lines ("Every time I dream you are in my heart/Make you feel better" are two completely unrelated phrases). there is no transition between ideas, you're just pasting cliches together. try to rewrite your poem so there's a more coherent flow of thoughts, usually writing it out in prose format (no line breaks) first can help a bit with that.
teach me how to dougie
You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe [x3]
You a stupid hoe, (yeah) you a, you a stupid hoe
You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe (stupid, stupid)
You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe (you stupid, stupid)
You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe (you stupid, stupid)
You a stupid hoe, (yeah) you a, you a stupid hoe (you stupid, stupid)
[QUOTE=Variant;42960402]You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe [x3]
You a stupid hoe, (yeah) you a, you a stupid hoe
You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe (stupid, stupid)
You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe (you stupid, stupid)
You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe (you stupid, stupid)
You a stupid hoe, (yeah) you a, you a stupid hoe (you stupid, stupid)[/QUOTE]
I cried at the pure power and majesty of such beautiful imagery.
Here's a romantic chorus for you:
[quote]
Stick your head up into your ass you pile of shit
You pile of human shit I despise you
I watch you bleed I´m here to feed
I crush your black and wounded soul
I want you dead I break your neck
I burn your eyes and cut your throat
I will save your hellbound earth
[/quote]
This is awesome I like it I give you props I think i am going to use this and give you credit because you deserve it
10/10
You should sing it fro me so i can make it work
You getting all credit :D
[QUOTE=Xenoyia v2;42919818](General chord progression is Cm - D# - F)
R = (keep repeating until next chord)
[B]VERSE 1[/B]
[Cm]
These feelings that I get
[D#]
Day after day
[F]
In my troubled mind
[Cm]
I wish that you would stay
[Cm (R)]
And though my heart is strong
[D# (R)]
It isn't strong enough
[F (R)]
Every single night
[Cm]
I wish that I was tough
[B]BRIDGE 1[/b]
[G#] [G]
And I miss the way you kiss my lips
[D (R)] [Em (R)]
Or call me on the phone
[G#] [G]
And I miss the sound of your voice
[D (R)] [F#]
I can't go a day without you
[B]CHORUS[/B]
[C] [D] [Em]
I can't go a day without you-u-u-u
[C] [D] [Em]
I miss... calling you mine
[C] [D] [Em (R)]
I miss all the times when we were happy and sad
[C] [D] [Em]
And baby, you were my... world
[b]EDIT:[/b] fuck facepunch messed up my chord formatting
[B]EDIT2:[/B] that was some beautiful formatting facepunch what are you doing
[b]EDIT3:[/b] I'm not crazy, the chord progression makes SOME sense!
[media]http://soundcloud.com/xenoyia/song[/media][/QUOTE]
Bitch suck my dick because my dick needs suckin
then I'm gonna fuck you because you need fuckin
i cri evrytim
Yeah, mother fucker
Sup nigga
Gangsta Rap nigga
[Verse 1]
Nigga
Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga, I'm 100% nigga
Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga, I'm 200% nigga
Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga, why do police hate niggas?
Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga, they hate us cause our dicks is bigga
Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga, why you call yourself a nigga?
Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga, cause I'm a mother fucking nigga!
Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga, why you drink so much beer?
Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga, I don't drink beer, I drink malt liquor
Cause I'm a nigga!
I'm a motherfuckin' nigga man, I ain't all that African-American shit
Fuck that I'm a nigga, I ain't mixed I'm a nigga
N-...I-G-G-A, nigga, you already know
[Verse 2]
Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga, why you eat so much chicken?
Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga, why won't you make it in my kitchen?
Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga, why you call them hoes bitches?
Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga, cause them hoes is bitches!
Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga, why you stay in the hood?
Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga, cause I don't like livin' by peckerwoods
Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga, why you ain't got no job?
Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga, seven dollars all won't feed me dog
Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga, why yo' pants gotta sag?
Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga, cause hand-me-downs downs is all a nigga has!
Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga, why you scared to go to court?
Shit, cause the judge look just like that motherfucker put our ass on the boat and made me a nigga
[Outro]
Mamma Rag is a nigga
Du-Rag is a nigga
Ballistics is a nigga
And I'm Uretha's nigga
Nigga!
You're insecure,
Don't know what for,
You're turning heads when you walk through the do-o-or,
Don't need make-up,
To cover up,
Being the way that you are is eno-o-ough,
Everyone else in the room can see it,
Everyone else but you
Baby you light up my world like nobody else,
The way you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed,
But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell,
You don't know oh-oh!
You don't know you're beautiful!
If you only you saw what I can see
You'll understand why I want you so desperately
Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe
You don't know oh-oh!
You don't know you're beautiful
But that's what makes you beautiful!
So c-come on
You got it wrong
To prove I'm right I put it in a so-ong
I don't know why
You're being shy
And turn away when I look into your ey-ey-eyes
Everyone else in the room can see it
Everyone else but you
Baby you light up my world like nobody else
The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed
But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell
You don't know oh-oh!
You don't know you're beautiful!
If only you saw what I can see
You'll understand why I want you so desperately
Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe
You don't know oh-oh!
You don't know you're beautiful
But that's what makes you beautiful
Ahem
There once was a man from Nantucket
Who's dick was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin as he wiped off his chin
If my ear was a cunt I could fuck it
Love is a burning thing
And it makes a fiery ring
-snip-
Write Stairway to Heaven.
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