I've been reading about your situation for like a week now and as crude and rude sound as it'l sound, I only have to say is to stop being a stubborn pansy and go prove some people that you're a cool guy to hang out with. I don't want to hear some more "Oh, they won't like be" bullshit. I used to be pretty damned quiet a few years ago before I started staying shit to people and now a ton of people know me. I don't care if you're a metalhead or if you listen to Bach, grow a backbone and stop putting yourself down. If you've managed to make friends here, it can't be too hard to make friends outside of FP.
For example, you see a person in a big box store looking at a game you have heard about.
You have a few options. You can either say "Excuse me" and ask them a question about the game and ask them if they know anything about it, and if they contribute to the conversation, try to say, if your knowledge permits, something that you heard about it or something and just go from there. I've made many friends by starting up conversations like that.
You can also say, if you have said game, whatever it is "Oh I have that game, I think it's pretty good, although there's a few problems here and there" whatever the case may be, it doesn't hurt to start a friendly conversation, every little bit helps.
Listen, everybody's got a chance to improve their social life, you just have to grow a little bit of self confidence and maybe a little backbone and say hi to somebody. I think I remember you saying something about wearing band shirts every day. Who cares if you wear a band shirt? I wear band shirts every day, and hell, it may not be a band shirt, but i'm wearing a Marshall Amplifiers shirt today and I don't see a difference in social life. Just go out there and be confident that you can strike up a friendly conversation. Unless you start talking about raping goats or some shit, they won't think you rape goats. Another thing to remember is to try to keep religion, politics, and "serious" opinions out of conversation. An example of a "serious " opinion could be that you think seals should be clubbed or something. A "non-serious" opinion could be something about a game, something that is unlikely to start an argument. Not doing these prevents you from having a potential argument and a potential negative opinion about you.
There's a likely chance that I missed something or some fact or some shit, but I can't remember everything you say. I guess that's just my two cents, sorry if I sound like a little bit of an asshole, but you're starting to come up with excuses for things that's possible to remedy. Good luck, I hope you learned a little bit from me or something.
There's a difference between making friends on the internet and in real life.
[editline]derp[/editline]
Also there's no problem with band shirts but all of mine are for bands like Slayer and Cradle of Filth so they're covered with inverted crosses and pentagrams.
I know there's a difference. With the internet, you really don't need an introduction while in real life, the first opinion based on you is in your introduction. Sometimes I start off with a bad opinion about somebody because they started off with like a sort of hard to explain general feeling coming off of them, sort of like an awkward twig. Just start off with a friendly hello or start a conversation about something nearby, could be a game, the homework, anything really that's nearby. It's much harder to start a conversation about, for example, The Blob in a spanish or Global class, and you could end up sounding weird. But yeah, maybe if your shirts have pentagrams, you might have a few problems. You could wear a sweatshirt or something with a zipper so you could sort of zip it up or something when you approach them, I don't know really have knowledge in the shirt-involving-pentagram department. I'm not saying im the Einstein of social lives, but these general ideas tend to work most of the time. Hell, you could say something about the weather, I don't know, it depends on where you are, etc..
Another tip is to not just straight off think that person is full of blasphemy for not liking the same music that you do. All of my friends listen to hip hop or whatever the fuck that mainstream shit is, while I listen to Rock, but we get along just fine. Don't judge a book by it's cover and don't call the person a bitch unless they deserve it and all that good chunky stuff that goes along with the reasons for calling a person a bitch.
It's really only girls I have a problem with though. Most guys I can talk to just fine except for the ones who actually are douchebags. It's hard being a metalhead and trying to talk to girls when the only metal girl in the entire city who isn't fat and ugly and/or likes poser metal is two years younger than you, goes to a different school and is your friend's sister and your friend doesn't want you to date her.
What exactly makes it hard for you to talk to girls? From what I see, it's because they don't like metal?
[QUOTE=deathmog;26479230]What exactly makes it hard for you to talk to girls? From what I see, it's because they don't like metal?[/QUOTE]
I have nothing in common at all with any of them. It's not just that they don't like metal.
I see what you mean, but how are you sure that you have nothing at all in common with them? If you can't date them, you should at least try to become friends with them, right?
Sometimes you gotta step outside your comfort zone. Ask them about their hobbies and interests. Things like that. You don't need anything in common to make conversation.
If I ask a girl about their interests then she's probably going to ask about mine and that's where they find out I'm a lazy fatass and a boring fuck.
What things do you like to do other than FP?
[QUOTE=deathmog;26479308]What things do you like to do other than FP?[/QUOTE]
Video games and obviously airsoft, this is the airsoft forum after all. And I don't even get to play airsoft anymore because my friends were retarded and all quit so I have nobody to play with anymore. So basically all I do with my spare time is browse Facepunch, fap and play video games.
There has to be something other than those things that you have in common with them. If not, you probably will still be able to be friends with them. I'm friends with some girls in my school and we have nothing in common. It's possible for you to create friendships and shit, you just think you can't and keep putting yourself down. Maybe you might just be a little lazy. I think your main problem is that if you think the other person doesn't have anything in common with you, you won't even try to become friends or even associate with them.
Teenage girls don't want fatass nerds anyway, they want hockey players.
I know a few fatass nerds that get along fine with a lot of people, I think one or two of them listen to metal too. Not all girls want hockey players. I don't play hockey or really any other sport involving a lot of athletics and I go bowling and shit with hot girls all the time.
it's dear milena, codemonkey
merry christmas
[editline]4th December 2010[/editline]
taepdong
best way to meet girls is to start with just chilling out and acting cool
just because you like metal doesn't mean you have to shove it down everyone's throat.
i'm a conservative republican, an atheist, and i think sarah palin is p cool, doesn't mean i go around telling everyone all the time or shouting god doesnt exist or how i think obama is a terrible president etc.
[QUOTE=deathmog;26479455]I know a few fatass nerds that get along fine with a lot of people, I think one or two of them listen to metal too. Not all girls want hockey players. I don't play hockey or really any other sport involving a lot of athletics and I go bowling and shit with hot girls all the time.[/QUOTE]
How do I be like you then? There's nothing interesting about me so I'm not sure if that's even possible. And I don't want to start conversations because I know how much of a boring fatass I am will eventually come up.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;26479489]How do I be like you then? There's nothing interesting about me so I'm not sure if that's even possible. And I don't want to start conversations because I know how much of a boring fatass I am will eventually come up.[/QUOTE]
It's not like somebody is just going to flat out call you a boring fatass. You just think that because you have no confidence in yourself. Anybody can have a decent conversation with somebody else, go out and try talking to someone using our advice. Stop thinking that you're a fatass nerd and start thinking that you're a person that's capable of interacting with others.
I'm just horrible at starting conversations with people I don't know very well. There's plenty of girls in all of my classes that I could talk to but I don't because I have no idea where to start. Like in my biology class I'm almost totally surrounded by girls.
"Hey, what's up?" has gotten me four girlfriends so far. And I'm currently with the fourth.
It's not that hard, trust me.
Well, you could ask one of them about homework, and evolve into a conversation about Biology and how you do or don't understand it and what you don't like about it and whatnot. Just talk about your side, but ask her some questions about her thoughts on the class or whatever as well.
[editline]4th December 2010[/editline]
You can also do what Identity said, one of the easiest ones imaginable.
I just think it would be really weird for me to just randomly decide to start talking to a girl now though if I've been sitting beside her or in front of her for a few months and haven't said a word to her yet. That's something you do on the first day. None of those girls seem like the ones who would want to date a nerd though.
[editline]derp[/editline]
Also one of them is a retarded Christian who keeps asking me why I have inverted crosses on my shirts so I obviously have no chance of being friends with her. She's also one of the hottest girls in my school. Why are all the hot girls crazy?
But by acknowledging her now, you're showing interest, and that itself interests girls. Seriously.
You don't know that she won't date you for sure, though, so don't automatically assume that they won't date you off the bat. Start off with something simple every once in a while, like ask what the homework is for whatever class every now and then. Slowly talk to her over time, like start out with simple quick shit until she gets to know you slightly better, then slowly continue on. It'l take a while, but think of it like a baby learning to walk, first he sits there, then he craws, then he walks, then he runs. It took me a few years to get to the point I am with the girls I hang out with. Show interest.
[QUOTE=Identity;26479687]But by acknowledging her now, you're showing interest, and that itself interests girls. Seriously.[/QUOTE]
Still, they're not the kind of girls you can really see dating a nerd. They're the kind of girls you would see dating a jock.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;26479701]Still, they're not the kind of girls you can really see dating a nerd. They're the kind of girls you would see dating a jock.[/QUOTE]
Dude, I was a huge nerd back in high school, and I still kind of am. I got one of the hottest girls in school, because my personality was attractive and I was charming. Looks only get you so far. Ever hear of that?
[QUOTE=Identity;26479717]Dude, I was a huge nerd back in high school, and I still kind of am. I got one of the hottest girls in school, because my personality was attractive and I was charming. Looks only get you so far. Ever hear of that?[/QUOTE]
What did you do that was so special?
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;26479701]Still, they're not the kind of girls you can really see dating a nerd. They're the kind of girls you would see dating a jock.[/QUOTE]
Believe it or not, there's not that many girls in my school at least that date jocks. Most guys they date are good guys and don't have a stereotypical jock attitude. I have heard that many girls are more interested in personality instead of looks. So really, be friendly, nice, and it helps to say thanks and please and shit and be a gentleman and whatnot to girls. It helps. They'll think you're a nice guy and try to know you better.
[QUOTE=deathmog;26479735]Believe it or not, there's not that many girls in my school at least that date jocks. Most guys they date are good guys and don't have a stereotypical jock attitude. I have heard that many girls are more interested in personality instead of looks. So really, be friendly, nice, and it helps to say thanks and please and shit and be a gentleman and whatnot to girls. It helps. They'll think you're a nice guy and try to know you better.[/QUOTE]
I tried being a nice guy in 9th grade and for half of 10th grade. It didn't fucking work.
You know, if you really think you're that uninteresting, try learning guitar. I learned guitar around the time I started hanging out with hot girls and shit. Guitar's fun and I haven't even taken lessons over the course of three years, just teaching myself and they like that apparently from what they tell me.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;26479730]What did you do that was so special?[/QUOTE]
I was [b]myself[/b].
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