OP needs to add "-Sent from my iPhone" at the end of each post because we don't give a shit.
-Sent from my BlackBerry
XxTheAvengerxX
[QUOTE=Laserbeams;27564119]XxTheAvengerxX[/QUOTE]
Dr. XxTheAvengerxX :downs:
[QUOTE=lead_farmer;27564113]OP needs to add "-Sent from my iPhone" at the end of each post because we don't give a shit.
-Sent from my BlackBerry[/QUOTE]
True
- Sent from my Nokia 5530
Now that I learned how to do the electric boogaloo.
I got all the bitches.
I'm 24 and on a £22k a year, my fiance is a Russian ice skating instructor and I didn't do a thing the OP said. So I guess according to the OP's criteria, I didn't just win at life, I fucking [i]own[/i] it.
I got everything I wanted right here without a gay haircut
Why would a winner at life be posting on facepunch from his iPhone? After he advises against it?
Oh wait I remember.
Someone write this guy a "How To Be Successful On The Internet" guide.
[B]How to win on the internet[/b]
1. Put "xX" at the begining and end of your alias. This helps to let people see how creative you are.
2. Make sure [i]everyone[/i] knows how cool and popular you are in real life.
3. Own an apple product. Any Apple product, although Ipods are quite low brow. Owning somthing like a Mac tells the world "HEY, I'M TRENDY, PAY ATTENTION TO ME"
4. If you have a girlfreind, make sure to slip this into whatever you write. For example "I went to the movies [b]WITH MY GIRLFRIEND[/B] last night"
5. If you are a girl, make sure everyone knows it. We need more girls on the internet!
If you follow all these steps, you will be cool enough to run your own Linkin Park fan forum!
i followed this guide and now im rollin' in bichz.
[QUOTE=Patriarch;27564369][B]How to win on the internet[/b]
1. Put "xX" at the begining of and end of your alias. This helps to let people see how creative you are.
2. Make sure [i]everyone[/i] knows how cool and popular you are in real life.
3. Own an apple product. Any Apple product, although Ipods are quite low brow. Owning somthing like a Mac tells the world "HEY, I'M TRENDY, PAY ATTENTION TO ME"
4. If you have a girlfreind, make sure to slip this into whatever you write. For example "I went to the movies [b]WITH MY GIRLFRIEND[B] last night"
5. If you are a girl, make sure everyone knows it. We need more girls on the internet!
If you follow all these steps, you will be cool enough to run your own Linkin Park fan forum![/QUOTE]
Good work, you may have saved xxTheAvengerxx from being forever alone.
+awesome for page king.
Fail troll fails at life, goes on the internet to make himself feel better.
[QUOTE=Synelor;27564527]"Winning" in life doesn't mean you need to fuck bitches and have lots of money. What matters the most is your happiness. If you are satisfied with yourself, there is nothing else you need.[/QUOTE]
Dude you've been on FP since 09. That's long enough to realize that this is a troll thread. One of these at least once every week. That's why the OP is a failure at the internet because he thinks hes being original and witty by using a ridiculously worn troll technique.
But of course many FPers are still to young too pick up on it. Hence why we keep getting the same old troll thread.
[b]Edit:[/b]
After reading some of the posts after the OP:
Facepunch get with the fucking program.
[QUOTE=Matrix374;27564096]your point?
i can read dodging people while walking in a crowded mall
[b]intelligence has nothing to do with how well your motor skills work[/b][/QUOTE]
Exactly. So he has bad motor skills, and not a low intelligence.
Fucking hypocrite.
[QUOTE=cqbcat;27578298]Will having a PhD help me get sex and money?
[b]Yes[/b]
What is a tool, besides the literal definition? I keep on hearing people use this as an insult.
[b] It means you have no mind of your own and you just believe and do what others tell you.[/b][/QUOTE]
Will having a PhD help me get sex and money?
[QUOTE=Snail562;27557262]You're such a fucking tool.[/QUOTE]
What is a tool, besides the literal definition? I keep on hearing people use this as an insult.
I'm tired of reading these damn threads about the OP's dreams that he will never achieve in the form of some sort of guide or story.
Now I know how to be a baller.
ITT: 12-19 year old nerds bitch because they can't stand that someone can be attractive AND smart at the same. They however are also being trolled by another 12-19 year old who is neither smart nor attractive. Thus, they all act 7.
[QUOTE=BigOwl;27578968]ITT: 12-19 year old nerds bitch because they can't stand that someone can be attractive AND smart at the same. They however are also being trolled by another 12-19 year old who is neither smart nor attractive. Thus, they all act 7.[/QUOTE]
[quote]Definitions of assumption on the Web:
premise: a statement that is assumed to be true and from which a conclusion can be drawn; "on the assumption that he has been injured we can infer that he will not to play"
a hypothesis that is taken for granted; "any society is built upon certain assumptions"
the act of taking possession of or power over something; "his assumption of office coincided with the trouble in Cuba"; "the Nazi assumption of power in 1934"; "he acquired all the company's assets for ten million dollars and the assumption of the company's debts"
celebration in the Roman Catholic Church of the Virgin Mary's being taken up into heaven when her earthly life ended; corresponds to the Dormition in the Eastern Orthodox Church
presumption: audacious (even arrogant) behavior that you have no right to; "he despised them for their presumptuousness"
the act of assuming or taking for granted; "your assumption that I would agree was unwarranted"
[url]wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn[/url]
"Assumption" is Samuel Beckett's first published story, appearing in Transition magazine in June 1929, in the same issue as James Joyce's Work in Progress.
[url]en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assumption_(short_story)[/url]
Because of the sinless nature of the Virgin Mary, it is believed that she alone of the human race received the privilege of bodily assumption into heaven. Her death, located by tradition to Mt. Sion, was not truly a death, but a sleep and therefore referred to as her "dormition. ...
[url]http://www.holycross.edu/departments...xt/gloss1.html[/url]
This is when a buyer takes over the existing loan on a home rather that applying for a new loan. This is done when the existing loan on the house has more favorable terms and a lower interest rate than the buyer can get with the current market rates. ...
[url]www.fhamortgagecenter.com/glossary/a.html[/url]
Mary's ascent into heaven. This is an unusual theme in Ethiopian icons; the composition with the crescent moon support and surround of angels recalls foreign sources.
[url]http://www.nmafa.si.edu/exhibits/ico...-glossary.html[/url]
The process of assuming a mortgage. Back to Top
[url]library.hsh.com/[/url]
Is a Roman Catholic and Orthodox belief. When Mary, the mother of Jesus, died, she was not buried but taken to a bodily heaven
[url]www.fandm.edu/x13718[/url]
There may be external circumstances or events that must occur for the project to be successful. If you believe such an event is likely to happen, then it would be an assumption (contrast with the definition of a risk). ...
[url]www.tenstep.com/open/miscpages/94.3Glossary.html[/url]
A method of selling real estate wherein the property purchaser agrees to take over the primary liability for payment of an existing mortgage.
[url]http://www.vba.va.gov/ro/central/stp...finitions.html[/url]
The doctrine that the Virgin Mary was bodily taken up into heaven at her death
[url]www.innvista.com/culture/religion/diction.htm[/url][/quote]
Because if someone posts their guide on how to be successful then obviously they are a failure.
[QUOTE=BigOwl;27579113]Make up you're mind, are you flaming him or me?[/QUOTE]
You. It's fine to make opinions but it's pretty annoying when people make assumptions.
[QUOTE=BigOwl;27579113]You are not a hypocrite.[/QUOTE]
How the fuck is that hypocritical? It is one thing to derive that the person is an asshole by the way he talks and thinks: things you can actually see and evaluate yourself. Too assume that he is not rich, smart, or successful based on an essay he wrote is another thing altogether.
[QUOTE=Snail562;27579047]Because if someone posts their guide on how to be successful then obviously they are a failure.[/QUOTE]
Make up you're mind, are you flaming him or me?
[editline]22nd January 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=Snail562;27579047]
You. It's fine to make opinions but it's pretty annoying when people make assumptions.[/QUOTE]
You are not a hypocrite.
I followed this guide and I won life.
I have a certificate if you want to see proof.
[QUOTE=XxTheAvengerxX;27557346]I don't see him winning at life. Look at what you have to accomplish in order to win at life. (Hint: Top of the OP.)[/QUOTE]
He's married, has two sons, runs a highly successful corporation, and used to be a microsoft employee. I'd say he's pretty damn successful, I'd like to see your name in Forbes.
[QUOTE=Strider_07;27580094]He's married, has two sons, runs a highly successful corporation, and used to be a microsoft employee. I'd say he's pretty damn successful, I'd like to see your name in Forbes.[/QUOTE]
And you're also a fucking moron for taking everything I said so literally
[QUOTE=XxTheAvengerxX;27557245][list]Get your Ph.D.[/list][/QUOTE]
Get your Pretty Huge Dick? Well I dunno, a lot of the methods are scams.
[QUOTE=Artisticpolo;27580164]Get your Pretty Huge Dick? Well I dunno, a lot of the methods are scams.[/QUOTE]
Jelqing is the best method.
I could write something long and descriptive about you and life but instead i'm just going to say this: life is what [b]you[/b] make it. Go ahead, manipulate your friends, look the way you want. But in the end the only thing that truly matters of life is happiness.
Also avenger if this
[quote]
[LIST]
[*]Have sex
[/LIST]
[LIST]
[*]Get your Ph.D.
[/LIST]
[LIST]
[*]Get everything you ever wanted
[/LIST]
[LIST]
[*]Be rolling in cash
[/LIST]
[/quote]Is how you define winning at life you are already losing. Happiness doesn't come from those things, they are simply a means to be happy.
[quote]Get your Ph.D[/quote]Only if your career requires it or you truly seek the knowledge is this applicable to winning at life.
[quote]Have Sex[/quote]Sex is often simply a means to get affection from someone. You don't seek the sex, you seek the love and intimacy that comes from it. If you simply want the physical pleasure wacking it is virtually the same without any of the hassle.
[quote]Get everything you ever wanted[/quote]If you get everything you ever wanted you have a sad life. Life is about challenge and denial. What is so special about getting something if you know you can get it? Without the possibility of failure there is no challenge and without challenge there is no reward.
[quote]Be rolling in cash[/quote]Cash is useless, it is something to pay for food and enrich your life. It makes the intangible things you have(love, confidence, and happiness) a little bit better.
[QUOTE=XxTheAvengerxX;27557507]What are you, 5 years old?[/QUOTE]
What are you, 42 years old and [b]only just[/b] in uni?
[quote]People will think you're boring without any vices, so try breaking some minor laws from time to time to make yourself look more bold, daring, and interesting.[/quote]
Is this shit for real?
[QUOTE=Ali Legend;27582169]Is this shit for real?[/QUOTE]
it is
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