i remember when 2 stupid teenagers got arrested at my grocery store for stealing DVD's
wtf how retarded do you have to be to not understand piracy
[QUOTE=meppers;32395619]i remember when 2 stupid teenagers got arrested at my grocery store for stealing DVD's
wtf how retarded do you have to be to not understand piracy[/QUOTE]Exactly. If your going to steal something, you might as well do it in a way that you have a very low probability of getting caught.
[QUOTE=(P!);32393151]My dad used to work at Army Navy Outdoors and one time an old man came with a seeing eye pony and he walked around the store for about 20 seconds when the pony just started shitting all over the floors. The old man and the pony left right after and everyone working was so confused.
My dad's also had to deal with countless shoplifters and stupid rednecks. Apparently one time someone bought police look-alike gear to impersonate a police officer so that he could gain entry into someone's house and then murder them.[/QUOTE]
What the fuck is a seeing eye pony???
Who would use a pony to lead the blind that is silly.
[QUOTE=KorJax;32398867]What the fuck is a seeing eye pony???
Who would use a pony to lead the blind that is silly.[/QUOTE]I was curious myself and....
[img]http://farm1.static.flickr.com/120/295965213_834be54c35.jpg[/img]
[img]http://img.metro.co.uk/i/pix/2008/03/Pony_450x471.jpg[/img]
[img]http://newton64.ca/images/TheMoreYouKnow.gif[/img]
[QUOTE=Demache;32399787]I was curious myself and....
[img]http://farm1.static.flickr.com/120/295965213_834be54c35.jpg[/img][/QUOTE]
It looks so :downs:
I hate it when people bring animals into the store.
But policy states I can't tell them to leave it outside on the off chance it's a seeing eye animal
Even though I'm pretty fucking sure seeing eye animals aren't on loose leashes or being held.
[QUOTE=evilking1;32390317]Make a stack of 10 or 20 coins, and see how many stacks of the same height can you get. Then add the remaining coins tha you can't use to make a stack. Easy.[/QUOTE]
Well it's a bit late now, I've gone from retail to Rifleman but thanks for the advice!
Thought of another one and I can't believe I forgot about it.
Fall of last year we had a mother come in with her two children. One of the kids, a young boy, looked very uncomfortable. My coworker and I kept an eye on him but he seemed peaceable enough. His mother saw us glancing over and, with a weary smile, said "Oh, don't worry about him. He's been a little sick lately." Satisfied, my coworker and I return to filing games away behind the counter. A few moments later, the woman comes up to pay for her game. The receipt starts printing and she asks where the nearest bathroom is. We tell her that it's in the Walmart next door, and she takes her kids and goes over. A bit odd, certainly, but we get that question asked more than you'd think.
About ten minutes pass when we start noticing an odd smell. We quickly deduce that someone passing near the front of the store must have crop dusted us and we continue on. The problem is that the smell doesn't go away; it actually gets stronger. So, we go around the counter to see what the fuck and...the sick kid had SHIT HIMSELF ON THE FLOOR. And this wasn't your easy to clean solid log, this was your gelatinous liquid shit that soaks right into the carpet and smells like decomposing ass. Horrified, my coworker damn near sprints into the bathroom and returns with industrial strength carpet cleaner. Dumping way more than was necessary, we clean up the kid's fecal fluid for the next few minutes, with the smell remaining for far longer. I'm pretty sure the mark on the rug stayed around for about three months.
tl;dr sick customer shits on floor, we clean it up.
Don't seeing eye animals have a little coat thing they wear that designate their status?
[QUOTE=AugustBurnsRed;32322246]The day before our little wireless Credit Card machine was being a piece of shit and not working at all and i had at least 3 people/groups of people want to ring up a bunch of shit and put it on a card, but as soon as i explain our machine does not work they're like "NOPE". There's an ATM less than 15 feet away, are you that fuckin lazy?[/QUOTE]
Probably because if you take a cash advance on a credit card, you get charged interest from that day onwards, until the advance is paid back in full.
Most people wouldn't want to pay extra because the eftpos machine is out of order, and that's completely understandable.
On the other hand, if it's a debit card (Credit account linked to savings/cheque), that's laziness right there.
And, shit. I have some horror stories from when I was a Credit Card specialist at National Australia Bank, if people want to see them
[QUOTE=Noth;32407085]And, shit. I have some horror stories from when I was a Credit Card specialist at National Australia Bank, if people want to see them[/QUOTE]
That's be awesome.
So, Credit Card Specialist. Fancy title for someone who answers phones, no?
Not quite sure what one to start off with? Almost every day there was something different.
Not quite a horror story, but every other week a patient in a mental hospital would call to see if the aliens had been stealing his money again.
Then there's where I get yelled at by the customer, for fixing someone elses mistake.
An elderly man wanted to know why his card wasn't working with a direct debit. The logs showed he had called 4 times prior that day for the same issue, and noone in personal servicing had been able to figure it out. So, I grab his card number, check everything I can think of thoroughly, couldn't see anything wrong with it. Until I notice the card had been reported stolen, and was reissued with a new number/CSC (Card Security Code, CVV, CVR, "them 3 numbers on the back", take your pick).
I go into the other card, have a look at the transaction history, there were 10 authorization attempts on it (All this took about 2 minutes). I tell him that it looks like the merchant still has the other card and is trying to take it from that one.
The guy snaps, says I'm the most "useless, worthless piece of shit in the world", and that he clearly couldn't have forgotten to tell them, because he has a perfect memory (and attempts to demonstrate this by telling me something that happened in the 50s), and demands to speak to my supervisor.
About 20 minutes later, my supervisor gives in, and says there must be something wrong with the card, and to fix it, we'll have to send out another one with a new number again, but because it's faulty, he'll waive the $20 fee (not charged for faults, or stolen cards). Also puts in a complaint about my "awful service", which my supervisor wrote down infront of me so I could see what was being said, then rips it in half after the call.
Another time, a woman with a terminal illness called to close her card. Before she tells me what she wanted to do, she spends a good 15 or 20 minutes explaining exactly how life is precious, and should be cherished (and what can you say to that anyway). After she told me, I call up the retention team, tell them the situation, and ask them not to try keep her. The "retention officer" (what a horrid title) takes the call, then afterwards, puts in a complaint to my manager for not letting him do his job.
Then there's always the common occurrence of someone wanting a Cross-Product Transfer (To change the credit card type from a low interest to a rewards card, for example). So I do the required 15 minute spiel, making sure they understand everything that's going to happen. Just before I'm about to hit OK, there's always one customer a week that waits politely until the end to say "Wait, I don't understand, can you talk to my {partner/sibling/parent}?"
4 should do it for now, I'll post a few more later on though
[editline]21st September 2011[/editline]
Oh, one more quick one.
There's always the occasional customer who gets upset that I couldn't increase their credit limit for them.
If they have a personal banker, I'd advise them to get them a call, and they should be able to override the system. If they don't, They'll have to make a new paper application for the increase.
But there was one person, who claimed to be the CEO of Starbucks (Yeah, it's spread down here too) who said he personally knew the CEO of NAB Group, and that if I didn't give him a [B]$150,000[/B] limit increase (over the phone is +$30k maximum) straight away, he'd have me sacked. Needless to say, I didn't give a fuck, and he hung up, very irate.
Not a personal experience, but there's one story I remember from personal servicing training, that on a Saturday, a customer called to try access his account. The servicing rep noticed there was a "Tier 2" block on the account (No phone service until they provide ID at a branch again). So, she told him that. He explodes, says he needs urgent money right away and his card isn't working, and that branches aren't open on weekends. She explains there's nothing she can do, so he threatens to close all of his accounts with the bank. She didn't give a fuck (We generally don't care about that kind of threat), and he hung up.
That monday, her supervisor asks her to have a chat. He says he's gone over the call logs, and that she did the right thing and wasn't in trouble, but he was a very important customer (Another CEO of some business), and pulled out over a million from his personal accounts, and almost [B]30 million[/B] from his business account.
[QUOTE=Noth;32407254]That monday, her supervisor asks her to have a chat. He says he's gone over the call logs, and that she did the right thing and wasn't in trouble, but he was a very important customer (Another CEO of some business), and pulled out over a million from his personal accounts, and almost [B]30 million[/B] from his business account.[/QUOTE]
Oh wow.
That would've been a bitch.
Worked at IGA for a about 3 days, never again.
Orientation, was boring as fuck, had to sit and watch a 45 minute video about how IGA is filled with "happy local people", finnally got outside for a cigarette, then got a lecture from one of the managers on how piercings are digusting, had to have the job, so I bit my lip and went home.
Day 1:
Started out alright, the store hadn't opened yet officially, the shelves were still being stacked, they asked me to come in, which I was fine with. They told me I'd be on the ground floor as my position, 4 hours into the shift, another manger came rushing down the hall screaming, yelling at me to take my piercings out. I politely said "Uh, another manager said I could keep them in, seeing how i'm nowhere near unboxed food or vegitables or that the shop isn't open at all yet.", so, after 5 minutes of this dickwad yelling at me "FUCKING TAKE THEM OUT, YOU'RE MEANT TO LOOK PROFESSIONAL! WHO WAS THE MANAGER WHO TOLD YOU TO KEEP THEM IN." (Mind you we didn't have to wear our uniforms, we were just stacking."
So I pointed to the other manager quickly to get him to fuck off, so I quickly went to the upstairs bathroom, took them out, one of them wasn't properly healed so it hurt like a bitch to take it out and put it back in. (None of them seem'd too appreciate the pain I went through for minimum wage. :v)
Anyway, the manager pulled me asside with an asshole tone in his voice telling me that I'm not on the floor anymore, I'm in the produce area out the back, unstacking vege's n shit like that and sorting the freezer out because retards can't seperate apples from cabbage, they just have to throw the box's everywhere.
So, I thought ok, spent the last 2 hours stacking shit, that was fine.
Day2;
Went home, went to bed, had to be there at 9AM for the next shift, thought ok. Worked for 2 hours, had a 10 minute break, just had a coffee and a smoke because everyone that was working there were nobheads who just enjoyed complaining about friends behind their backs. So lunch time came round, I took my break because I had been unloading pallets all morning and my back was killing me, so I went and had a sandwhich and a coffee for my half an hour.
Went back on the floor to unload some pallets, the other produce guys went and had lunch when the stupidest stacked pallet I had seen in my entire life was brought in, don't know if it's a cleansiness thing but all the boxes of cabbage were upside down and the pallet was about 2 and a half metres tall, was a cunt even with a step ladder, almost broke my back, asked for some help when the produce people came back, none of them helped, they quickly made excuse like they had to go fill a form or something, so I said fuck em and left it, not risking my life for some store.
10 minutes later I was cutting up some stuff, got a hard tap on the shoulder to see one of the managers looking at me, this one was a real cunt. Pretty much yelled at me for not unstacking the pallet etc, so I thought, whatever. I only had 2 hours left in the shift so I just did random shit for 2 hours to kill time, I wasn't gonna unstack it.
Day 3; Called up to see if I could get my next shift times, they gave me a timetable.
Asked for a certain manager but they kept cycling between managers and non of them could give me info, asked for produce section and got an entirely diff manager then the one that was set for produce.
So I finnally got my next shift date, it was only a 2 hour shift, which was fucked. (Took me 2 hours to get there and 2 hours to get home, because the store I originally applied for was the store they setup shop to do interviews for the other store, should off left.)
Anyway, complained for 2 hours, then went home.
Got the run around on the phone for another hour trying to get shift times but noone could tell me, so I told em to go fuck themselves and quit.
Was retarded, they had about 6 managers and none of them were organised at all, plus one of them used to yell at you if you weren't walking really fast and had your back straight.
Might be an over complainer about that but at least have your shit organised if you're going to start up a new store.
one time when I was tearing tickets for the latest harry potter movie I had a customer come up asking about the title of the movie as displayed on the ticket
It simply said "Potter" because there isn't really a way to fit the whole title on this little piece of paper.
She came up and asked me "is this ticket for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2? It just says "Potter" and I'm worried I got the wrong movie." I took the ticket, stared at it for a second, and looked up at her with a frown. "No ma'am, this is the low-budget knockoff we imported from China."
I had to practice some serious restraint not to laugh at the face she made then. I explained I was joking and she laughed with me about it.
[QUOTE=Bryanrocks0;32279626]Now right there I was pissed off for two reason, first off [b]my girlfriend is Middle Eastern and while she may not be Muslim I was still offended,[/b] and my second reason is that my daughter is half Middle Eastern.[/QUOTE]
god this made me laugh so hard
i mean i know you're serious and the guy was a total nut but it just made me giggle that you're like "my girlfriend is mu- well idk shes from the middle east, close enough, fuck that guy"
[editline]21st September 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=mr apple;32407965]job stuff[/QUOTE]
i don't get it, you can't wear piercings and you have to.. you know, do your job and uncrate things?
[QUOTE=CrispexOps;32387594]Actually, if there is one thing, one very single thing I wish, and pray for each night, that people would do, is this:
Read the fucking signs above the aisles. They tell you everything in the aisle, and if it's in that general category, it's safe to assume a particular item will be located down there.
What I like to do, is sneak in insults. This guy asked me one time, "Hey man, where's your peanut butter at?" I looked at him and said, "See that aisle down there, aisle 8, the one that says "Peanut Butter" on the sign?" "Yeah man, thanks!"
Was that so fucking hard?[/QUOTE]
I don't see what the problem is here, it doesn't take 5 seconds to direct someone. If someone asks where something is in my shop I'm happy to answer, I understand that it's much quicker to locate something if you ask someone who spends 20-40hours in that area a week.
[QUOTE=Lebowski;32392861]please move your entire shop to my area[/QUOTE]
We also have this cool motorcycle guy with long hair and a red bandana and with the usual set-up, his voice is so fucking smooth and calm, I fucking love hearing him talk. He's also pretty cool guy to talk to with badass stories from his childhood, he was quite a hooligan when he was young.
Oh, and I will convert your neightbourhood into communism, one customer at a time.
[QUOTE=smeismastger;32414117]We also have this cool motorcycle guy with long hair and a red bandana and with the usual set-up, his voice is so fucking smooth and calm, I fucking love hearing him talk. He's also pretty cool guy to talk to with badass stories from his childhood, he was quite a hooligan when he was young.
Oh, and I will convert your neightbourhood into communism, one customer at a time.[/QUOTE]
Your store sounds like a really awesome TV Show/Slice of Life anime with zany personalities and communists.
But really, I would love to buy an Amiga or something, is that a chain electronics recycling store? I looked on google, and apparently there are no places that sell recycled electronics anywhere in Wisconsin.
I've been enjoying my training at Mcdonalds, everyone is really friendly and nice.
I feel like a complete retard some of the time though, like when I was shown how to wrap up a cheeseburger, my trainer wraps his in 0.1 seconds and shows me how. I take about 5 seconds and it looks like shit.
I'm sure I'll get better but I feel like a retard sometimes
[QUOTE=Empty_Shadow;32421784]I've been enjoying my training at Mcdonalds, everyone is really friendly and nice.
I feel like a complete retard some of the time though, like when I was shown how to wrap up a cheeseburger, my trainer wraps his in 0.1 seconds and shows me how. I take about 5 seconds and it looks like shit.
I'm sure I'll get better but I feel like a retard sometimes[/QUOTE]
Don't worry, Benson. Just remember, Your trainer was a rookie one day as well. :smile:
So another story yesterday that happened at my store.
This guy walks in, about 10 minutes before closing and is buying two track jackets and asked for a discount.
Now I was kind of dumbfounded and caught off guard.
So I told him, "Sir we don't give out any sorts of discounts in this store."
Then the guy goes on to tell me how at a different store they had a sale thing where you buy one thing and you get the second product at half price. So I stood there staring at him for like a minute and asked him what store and he tells me and I figured out right away that it is an outlet store.
Now mind you, an outlet store and a retail store are two completely different things. Outlet stores usually have deals and is usually cheaper, but they don't carry products that's as great as the stuff in retail stores and their products are usually the older ones.
So he keeps asking me to do the same deal for him because apparently at that store they were being idiots and told him that he can go to ANY STORE and it will have the same deal.
Like what the fuck?
So I called up my manager that was working at that time and asked her what I should do, so she comes out and explains to him that the story he went to was an outlet store and that only they do that kind of discounts or deals, not here. Now this guy was being all adamant and demanded that we give it to him, so she just walks into the back and discusses with another manager about giving it to him or not and they both decided sure why not.
So this guy was giving me a hard time about not giving discounts and how places should give it to him no matter what. I was just standing there and nodding my head. So then my manager comes out, gives him one of the jackets at half price and he decided that he will buy a pair of shoes also just because the manager was so nice (the managers actually extremely hot), so we sold him the stuff and he left.
He was a dick before, but ended up being somewhat nice.
[QUOTE=Sykez;32426114]So another story yesterday that happened at my store.
This guy walks in, about 10 minutes before closing and is buying two track jackets and asked for a discount.
Now I was kind of dumbfounded and caught off guard.
So I told him, "Sir we don't give out any sorts of discounts in this store."
Then the guy goes on to tell me how at a different store they had a sale thing where you buy one thing and you get the second product at half price. So I stood there staring at him for like a minute and asked him what store and he tells me and I figured out right away that it is an outlet store.
Now mind you, an outlet store and a retail store are two completely different things. Outlet stores usually have deals and is usually cheaper, but they don't carry products that's as great as the stuff in retail stores and their products are usually the older ones.
So he keeps asking me to do the same deal for him because apparently at that store they were being idiots and told him that he can go to ANY STORE and it will have the same deal.
Like what the fuck?
So I called up my manager that was working at that time and asked her what I should do, so she comes out and explains to him that the story he went to was an outlet store and that only they do that kind of discounts or deals, not here. Now this guy was being all adamant and demanded that we give it to him, so she just walks into the back and discusses with another manager about giving it to him or not and they both decided sure why not.
So this guy was giving me a hard time about not giving discounts and how places should give it to him no matter what. I was just standing there and nodding my head. So then my manager comes out, gives him one of the jackets at half price and he decided that he will buy a pair of shoes also just because the manager was so nice (the managers actually extremely hot), so we sold him the stuff and he left.
He was a dick before, but ended up being somewhat nice.[/QUOTE]
I hate people that demand discounts and shit. Fuck you buddy if we say we don't have discounts we don't do discounts. You being a test about it is CERTAINLY not gonna change my mind.
[QUOTE=Ven Kaeo;32428890]I hate people that demand discounts and shit. Fuck you buddy if we say we don't have discounts we don't do discounts. You being a test about it is CERTAINLY not gonna change my mind.[/QUOTE]
I never seen anyone do that here in the UK. Then again we don't even haggle in markets or anything.
Not a story from my work history, but a close friend of mine and I'm involved, might as well share:
I was visiting a really good friend of mine in Wisconsin and when I got to his place at noon, I was told he wasn't home BUT I could save his girlfriend a trip and pick him up from work. Fine, no problem, so I chatted with her for a bit, spent two hours fixing the deck with her (one of the reasons why I went there) and then went off to pick up my buddy. I figured she could make dinner, we would get home and all would be perfect and wonderful. Well, clearly, life doesn't work that way and murphy's law hadn't struck that day so we were in for a surprise. My friend works at McDonald's and for most of his time working there he's bitched about his manager and how much everyone hates her. I figure everyone has a manager that's an asshole at one point in their life, but thought nothing of it.
Well, when I got there the first thing I notice is there's a FUCKTON of people, probably just got off work and it was a blistering hot summer so they're all irritable. I go in, decide to order a Big Mac and eat it while I wait for his shift to end. (dinner was expected, that's why I only ordered the one and not three) I make my order and we're all waiting for the food, but I notice my friend is one of three people in the back, there's usually more. What I didn't know is that shit had been brewing ALL day and it was going to finally erupt. Well, the manager's harassing the employees, shrieking at everyone how they're dumb, can't work, shit like that and generally being unprofessional in front of a PACKED storefront. She finally singles out my pal, demanding he pick up the pace or "he's done for." Well, he said he's waiting on <soandso> at the grill, and she snaps back with "typical male, can't do shit without a woman." Well, I lean over the counter and watch him take off his hat, headset and everything, slam it down on the counter and loudly proclaim "FUCK YOU" to her before storming out. Somebody behind me said "hey what's the problem? I've been waiting here for ten minutes, what the hell lady?" She replied in a bitchy tone, glaring at the remaining employees "you wunnut have to wait if dese MORUNS could DO DERE JARB." (speech impediment, fat in the mouth? I don't know wtf, but that's how she said it) Well, I guess that was my cue to pipe in with a snide comment, "well, they would probably be twice as efficient if their team leader was more competent."
You know that saying, if you mess with the bull you might get the horns? Yeah, if you mess with a fat, middle-aged, ragetard manager you might get a terrible scowl if indignation prior to harpy shrieks. Thankfully, coming from the backwoods of Minnesota and being of hearty Nordic stock, I fear nothing.
She storms up, puts her fists into her hips and breathes deep, starting off about how I don't know anything, how she doesn't need to take any of that but after five seconds of rapid-fire crowing I loudly said "HOLD THE PHONE, STOP THE PRESSES AND BACK THE FUCK UP! You're unprofessional at best and a shit fucking manager at worst. Don't act like you're faultless, you don't know how to lead and you're acting like a God-damned child." Cue another scowl. "We all heard you! We've been waiting for awhile. I think EVERYONE HERE," I said, motioning to a crowd of rightly pissed people, "will agree that you're the cause of ALL of this." Since I was semi-shouting, the big boss man stepped out and asked what was going on and of course she's saying I'm being rude, disruptive, that sort of shit. I didn't pay attention to her really, I was walking away, but I did turn around and say "you know what, lady? I'm done. I'm walking away and you can keep bitching! Blow it out your ass for all I care, I'm going to fuckin' Burger King." I also said "sorry about that..." to the manager as I walked past. I truly pitied him, apparently he was a chill guy according to my friend. I guess I had the right idea, though, because people were shuffling out along with me, but I didn't notice what anyone was saying or doing beyond that. Got my friend, we went back and forth about her and then later on that night played lots of Halo 3. Never went to Burger King, though. :(
Later on I found out she was let go, they got a new manager, my friend got his job back and the place is less shit now. :D
[QUOTE=JumpinJackFlash;32434935](dinner was expected, that's why I only ordered the one and not three)[/QUOTE]
>only ordered the one and not three
>three big macs
What the ever loving fuck how is one not enough
[QUOTE=Ven Kaeo;32436607]>only ordered the one and not three
>three big macs
What the ever loving fuck how is one not enough[/QUOTE]They're small, (in my opinion) but I can't eat that shit anymore, makes me sick. I also have a lifestyle that allows me to burn off all of that. I could probably slam back a gallon of kerosene and reveal my true form, which is a steampunk robot. :l
[editline]
[/editline]
But shhhhh, it's a secret.
[QUOTE=Ven Kaeo;32390669]On the Release date of the Evo 3D, we had been taking preorders prior to it, I had some guy, a successful lawyer or something by the looks of it, preorder one and come back to get it the next day.
Usually if customers are nice to me, I go above and beyond to make sure I help them out and get everything set up. This guy was great. Not only did he buy the phone AND get a case and other things for us (attach is really important to us, our DM is always on our ass about it), but when it was all said and done he went to shake my hand and tipped me $20.
[editline]20th September 2011[/editline]
Wow what, $5?
I would have tipped at LEAST $9 if your service was adequate and $12-18 if it was good.
A $5 is an insult for a $90 cheque.[/QUOTE]
wait you expect tips in america, aren't they up to the customer to decide whether you did a good job.
[QUOTE=james0724;32438673]wait you expect tips in america, aren't they up to the customer to decide whether you did a good job.[/QUOTE]
I also sometimes left small tips simply because I couldn't afford more. Now tips are a huge part of my income where I work and if people only have enough to give me a small amount I still smile and say thank you as it was totally voluntary.
[QUOTE=james0724;32438673]wait you expect tips in america, aren't they up to the customer to decide whether you did a good job.[/QUOTE]
No, it's a customary thing. You're considered an asshole if you don't.
Around 10-15% is a good range to hold to.
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