Embarrassing Situations Thread V1.0 - Oh, the shame! - General

[QUOTE=a-cookie;38816751]why is this embarrasing it sucks[/QUOTE] Yeah it really does. I could find a lot better.

I want the pic too

This happened last night. Me and this girl I like (now girlfriend) were drinking in my room, one thing led to another, and we started full on making out. Now, I've had the urge to fart for about 10 min, and mid-way through the make out session I just let it happen without realized what happened. I fucking farted the most putrid stench I have ever smelled. I tried to play it off and keep kissing, but the dorito-black bean burger-burrito-vodka-asshole burp was too overpowering for both of us. We stopped, opened the window, then she left the room for a while. She came back a minute later, and we just continued like nothing happened. As far as I can remember, that was THE most embarrassing thing I have ever done. [editline]13th December 2012[/editline] No I didnt fuck her

did you fuck the drink bottle????

[QUOTE=a-cookie;38817759]did you fuck the drink bottle????[/QUOTE] You'd be crazy not to.

[QUOTE=MountainWatcher;38804858]Is the old man alright?[/QUOTE] Funny story about that. I have no idea. He went to the hospital and that was the end of it. I don't even know his name! But I can tell you after I hit him I started panicking like never before, and had uncontrollable flatulance

[QUOTE=TaZz_RyAn;38817288]This happened last night. Me and this girl I like (now girlfriend) were drinking in my room, one thing led to another, and we started full on making out. Now, I've had the urge to fart for about 10 min, and mid-way through the make out session I just let it happen without realized what happened. I fucking farted the most putrid stench I have ever smelled. I tried to play it off and keep kissing, but the dorito-black bean burger-burrito-vodka-asshole burp was too overpowering for both of us. We stopped, opened the window, then she left the room for a while. She came back a minute later, and we just continued like nothing happened. As far as I can remember, that was THE most embarrassing thing I have ever done. [editline]13th December 2012[/editline] No I didnt fuck her[/QUOTE] she's a keeper

kind of a minor thing, but i hate when i'm in spanish class and i mishear my teacher's question and respond with something totally unrelated. "did you have a favorite food when you were younger?" "i hate jellyfish." this actually happened :(

[QUOTE=Bletotum;38814136]more details? was he fucking with you or misusing your computer? how exactly did she react?[/QUOTE] Yeah. He purposely made it look like I searched it so others would think I was looking at gay porn. Must've done it while I was pissing or something. I could've sworn I deleted the searches, but it syncs anyway I guess.

[QUOTE=postmanX3;38823309]kind of a minor thing, but i hate when i'm in spanish class and i mishear my teacher's question and respond with something totally unrelated. "did you have a favorite food when you were younger?" "i hate jellyfish." this actually happened :([/QUOTE] There was a video about bad swedish-language skills in finnish people and they asked what the people have done during the day. One guy apparently tried to say that he had read a book but in his super-broken swedish he went something like "Jag har, har, uh, läsat en BÖG!" Swedish people should know why that is very, very wrong. [sp]Bög = faggot as far as I know[/sp]

So I just found out my friend had sex with his girlfriend, the same one I looked up fetishes with, in my bed earlier today. I'm currently lying in it... It's 3am, I'm not changing my sheets right now

As far as I understand, the sentence says "I have, have, uh, read a homosexual!" I would assume the correct sentence to be "Jag har, har, uh, läsat en bok".

so i go to a mostly black school, and I was sitting at lunch with my friends A black guy I talk to from time to time is asking my friends for fries, so I hand him some. He is like "you my white brotha, nigga". I respond and shake his hand with "YEAAAAAAAAA MY NIGGA!" really fucking loud

okay, so at my school the science rooms are linked together, and they are linked by a small room. I had to go take a shit, and I walk through the door. this chick I had a massive boner for a while back is just lying on the table in the very back of the room where the door comes in, her asscrack showing. i kind of look for two seconds and kept walking, because you know i needed to take a fucking shit.

[url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oedipus_complex]Oedipus Complex [/url]

[QUOTE=Dark RaveN;38833201][url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oedipus_complex]Oedipus Complex [/url][/QUOTE] You motherfucker

[QUOTE=venn178;38816731]Send it to me, too.[/QUOTE] And me

I drenched my ex-girlfriend in blood while having sex, my nose started bleeding like crazy. So I simply ignored it and continued without saying a word. Suddently she was looking at me in a awkward way because her whole body was covered in a red fluid. I shouted to her that she should ignore it, we continued having sex for a minute or so until everything was covered in blood. Some blood drops fell into her mouth, so everything just got so damn awkward. My hands were covered in blood and she had handprints of blood everywhere, her face was red due to the blood. Also because I was ontop of her my chest was also full of blood because I pushed my body against her. It was just a giant mess. We had to stop because we laughed our asses off. Then we had to take a shower and wash ourselves, it was just so embarassing because it was actually the [b]first time I had sex with her.[/b]

She must've been hot.

[QUOTE=junker|154;38837634]I drenched my ex-girlfriend in blood while having sex, my nose started bleeding like crazy. So I simply ignored it and continued without saying a word. Suddently she was looking at me in a awkward way because her whole body was covered in a red fluid. I shouted to her that she should ignore it, we continued having sex for a minute or so until everything was covered in blood. Some blood drops fell into her mouth, so everything just got so damn awkward. My hands were covered in blood and she had handprints of blood everywhere, her face was red due to the blood. Also because I was ontop of her my chest was also full of blood because I pushed my body against her. It was just a giant mess. We had to stop because we laughed our asses off. Then we had to take a shower and wash ourselves, it was just so embarassing because it was actually the [b]first time I had sex with her.[/b][/QUOTE] That shouldn't be embarrassing at all if you laughed your asses off. These kind of sex experiences are what makes your sex life richer with funny stories, which will be funny to remember, believe me.

[QUOTE=Dark RaveN;38838227]That shouldn't be embarrassing at all if you laughed your asses off. These kind of sex experiences are what makes your sex life richer with funny stories, which will be funny to remember, believe me.[/QUOTE] Takes sex life advice from facepunch user. like hell...

[QUOTE=Donkey Kong;38838584]Takes sex life advice from facepunch user. like hell...[/QUOTE] Oi you, there are plenty of us here who enjoy vibrant sexual activity in our lives. ... Just some of us for not a long time... Would anyone else who's had sex agree that having sex and then not having it for a long time is actually worse than being a virgin and not having sex at all? I mean, the in-between time I suppose.

[QUOTE=Dark RaveN;38838227]That shouldn't be embarrassing at all if you laughed your asses off. These kind of sex experiences are what makes your sex life richer with funny stories, which will be funny to remember, believe me.[/QUOTE] Perhaps it's a funny story now, but when it happened I felt like a complete idiot :v: You know, the first sex with your new girlfriend is something special.

Oh yeah. Real special. She never lets me forget it. I didn't cry THAT much.

The first time I had sex with my current girlfriend we decided to roleplay as [I]Let's Players[/I] like you see on youtube. Best moment of my life.

[QUOTE=Maruhai;38841707]The first time I had sex with my current girlfriend we decided to roleplay as [I]Let's Players[/I] like you see on youtube. Best moment of my life.[/QUOTE] So neither of you were very good at what you were doing but it paid nicely?

[QUOTE=sambooo;38841732]So neither of you were very good at what you were doing but it paid nicely?[/QUOTE] oh god my lungs are hurting

Embarrassing Situations Thread V2.0 - Jokes about Maruhai's first time with his current girlfriend

[QUOTE=UberMunchkin;38841955]They were doing it like iJustine and took 15 minutes just to open a door[/QUOTE] "Where am I supposed to put the thingy"

[QUOTE=Maruhai;38841707]The first time I had sex with my current girlfriend we decided to roleplay as [I]Let's Players[/I] like you see on youtube. Best moment of my life.[/QUOTE] So it was basically just a lot of screaming and shouting of obscenities