Embarrassing Situations Thread V1.0 - Oh, the shame! - General

I ripped a fart in yoga today

Back when i was younger my family was really good friends with this other family. Usually they'd come over to visit us for a day. Their son and I were also really good friends. Usually we'd sit in my room the whole day playing coop pc games while our parents would chill in the living room. So this one time as usual they came over to our house for half a day. We all ate dinner together downstairs in the living room. All the time during dinner I could feel this monstrosity of a fart building up in my ass but sucessfully managed to hold it in. After dessert as usual my friend and I jumped up and ran back to my room to continue playing. We both ran up the stairs to my room as fast as we could, me being directly in front of him. Because I was running so fast I couldn't keep my ass shut anymore so I let out this thunderous, earth shattering monster of a fart all while sprinting up the stairs. Suddenly I hear my friend shouting right behind me " AWWW DUDE YOU FARTED RIGHT IN MY FACE! THAT WAS SO NASTY, I COULD ALMOST TASTE IT!" all while still being in earshot of both of our parents at the dinner table. Needless to say I was so embarrassed for the rest of the day that I didnt leave my room till the next morning...

When I was 12 I was visiting my doctor's office for a check-up. Keep in mind, my doctor is one bangin-ass 28 year old chick. Seriously, she looks like a porn star. Anyway, she reaches for my balls and instead grabs my erect dick, and to be honest I came a little. She said "Oops, my bad" and grabs my balls and tells me to cough. When she pulls out her hand it's covered in my jizz and she instantly takes off the glove and throws it away with a shocked look on her face.

you are premature [editline]27th July 2012[/editline] you were premature******************* probably still are tho

Got another one for you, About 10 years ago I went to the beach with my friend and his family and his hot sister who I had a bit of a thing for (She's 3 years older than me so it'd never happen but still), we get there and walk down to the beach and set up a parasol and what-not. Time to get into my swimming shorts, I hadn't thought to put them on before setting off because I'm an idiot so I had to do that incredibly difficult thing where you hide behind the wind break and hope that people further down the beach don't have a thing for little boys and have binoculars. I didn't have too much of a problem with this because I was confident I could do the switch quickly but with the power of Captain Hindsight; I wish I wrapped a towel around me. I take my shorts and walk behind the parasol and windbreak, pull down my jeans and my boxers. A gust of wind hits and my boxers get swept up, as I go to stop them I let go of my swimming shorts by accident and they went with them. So there I am with my twanger out with my swimming shorts and boxers flying down the beach. My friends family laugh seeing them fly down towards the sea. After having a bit of a laugh his sister gets up and runs after them for me and comes back to me holding my underwear out and sniggering as I hold my trusty jeans in front of my knob and look to the ground wanting to die. I haven't been to the beach nor worn shorts since (they're too fucking light, jeans flop to the ground and are always there for you) and I've never told anyone why. There was also [URL=http://www.facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=987702&highlight=]this one time I inflated loads of rubber gloves for a laugh and all hell broke loose[/URL] which I made a thread about.

this one is pretty simple. Was in town once and thanked a cash machine. There was pretty girls watching me and they laughed. I felt deeply ashamed.

[QUOTE=Justin Case;36966002]beach wiener story[/QUOTE] girls seem to find it impressive if you're not embarrassed to show them your wiener, if you had just pretended she couldn't see it it wouldn't have been embarrassing at all

[QUOTE=Boaraes;36961922]When I was 12 I was visited my doctor's office for a check-up. Keep in mind, my doctor is one bangin-ass 28 year old chick. Seriously, she looks like a porn star. Anyway, she reaches for my balls and instead grabs my erect dick, and to be honest I came a little. She said "Oops, my bad" and grabs my balls and tells me to cough. When she pulls out her hand it's covered in my jizz and she instantly takes off the glove and throws it away with a shocked look on her face.[/QUOTE] That reminds me of when I was 12 and I went to the doctor. I thought I had gonad cancer, so what I had to do was go to the doctor and lie on the bed that they examine you on. I had to take down my pants and the doctor, who is about, oh I don't know, 50-60 years of age, feels up my balls for a minute or so. I didn't jizz or anything but god it was so awkward.

I ran full force, straight into a parked car in my own neighborhood when I was younger. Didn't help that my nose started bleeding afterwards and it looked like fucking Mike Tyson showed up and beat the living shit out of me.

one time when i was little, i was riding bike with a broken arm (cast on arm) like a complete [i]imbucile[/i] and crashed into another person who was riding bike. an elderly woman. and i injured her. you have no idea how that felt :suicide:

[QUOTE=Boaraes;36961922]When I was 12 I was visited my doctor's office for a check-up. Keep in mind, my doctor is one bangin-ass 28 year old chick. Seriously, she looks like a porn star. Anyway, she reaches for my balls and instead grabs my erect dick, and to be honest I came a little. She said "Oops, my bad" and grabs my balls and tells me to cough. When she pulls out her hand it's covered in my jizz and she instantly takes off the glove and throws it away with a shocked look on her face.[/QUOTE] I'd like to see the shock on your face when you learn that she kept the glove and fingered her pussy to get her pregnant later.

Only two I can remember at this time Some kid pants'd me in 2nd or 3rd grade I think it was. and in 7th I ran into the girl's bathroom once mostly because I was in a rush and I'll just leave it at that. :v:

Also, does anyone else's parents do this? My mother always makes the simplest of social situations incredibly awkward. Like, either she always keeps telling me what to say (tell him hello, wish him a happy birthday) [i]right[/i] beside the person I'm talking to like I don't know what to do so everyone usually thinks I'm only saying it because my mother told me so. And also she always laughs after I say anything to anyone, like I said something stupid. It's usually like "hey, so what have you been up to?" and then she just goes HAHAHAHA like I told the funniest joke in the world. There was even this one time where I ordered a burger along with a coke from some fast junk place and the guy was like "will that be a large, medium or small coke?" and I said "medium" then my mother burst into laughter for some reason, and everybody stared at us.

My friends phone likes to type random stuff when its in his pocket, so one time he pulls it out and I shit you not it had "I love Anal" written on the screen, plus he didnt have auto-correct on so it spelled it out perfectly. Im just staring at him like *Seems Legit*

[QUOTE=Samuka97;36976404]Also, does anyone else's parents do this? My mother always makes the simplest of social situations incredibly awkward. Like, either she always keeps telling me what to say (tell him hello, wish him a happy birthday) [i]right[/i] beside the person I'm talking to like I don't know what to do so everyone usually thinks I'm only saying it because my mother told me so. And also she always laughs after I say anything to anyone, like I said something stupid. It's usually like "hey, so what have you been up to?" and then she just goes HAHAHAHA like I told the funniest joke in the world. There was even this one time where I ordered a burger along with a coke from some fast junk place and the guy was like "will that be a large, medium or small coke?" and I said "medium" then my mother burst into laughter for some reason, and everybody stared at us.[/QUOTE] whenever someone gives me a gift she always says thank you for me as if I wasn't going to say it myself. It makes me look like such an idiot when I say thanks after her because it's like I needed her to remind me

On multiple occasions when walking to 4th and 6th period, I would always end up staring at this one small asian girl when I was listening to music, I tried to suddenly look away so as to not seem creepy. She never goes the same way to 4th and 6th period now. Whenever she sees me she glares at me too. It's really awkward.

[QUOTE=Samuka97;36976404]Also, does anyone else's parents do this? My mother always makes the simplest of social situations incredibly awkward. Like, either she always keeps telling me what to say (tell him hello, wish him a happy birthday) [i]right[/i] beside the person I'm talking to like I don't know what to do so everyone usually thinks I'm only saying it because my mother told me so. And also she always laughs after I say anything to anyone, like I said something stupid. It's usually like "hey, so what have you been up to?" and then she just goes HAHAHAHA like I told the funniest joke in the world. There was even this one time where I ordered a burger along with a coke from some fast junk place and the guy was like "will that be a large, medium or small coke?" and I said "medium" then my mother burst into laughter for some reason, and everybody stared at us.[/QUOTE] It's the laws of motherhood.

-snip wrong thread-

I wasn't in my room and still had my porn folder opened on my computer so my dad came in my room to get something, I still don't know if he looked at my screen or not. :tinfoil: Oh when I was young I used to yell "AMERICA!" when taking a shit, oh god we also had guests in our house so they could hear me. :suicide: I was like 5 or something.

[QUOTE=Samuka97;36976404]Also, does anyone else's parents do this? My mother always makes the simplest of social situations incredibly awkward. Like, either she always keeps telling me what to say (tell him hello, wish him a happy birthday) [i]right[/i] beside the person I'm talking to like I don't know what to do so everyone usually thinks I'm only saying it because my mother told me so. And also she always laughs after I say anything to anyone, like I said something stupid. It's usually like "hey, so what have you been up to?" and then she just goes HAHAHAHA like I told the funniest joke in the world. There was even this one time where I ordered a burger along with a coke from some fast junk place and the guy was like "will that be a large, medium or small coke?" and I said "medium" then my mother burst into laughter for some reason, and everybody stared at us.[/QUOTE] I think they're obligated to. Or something. When I bought my girlfriend over for the first time, my mum wanted the whole family to stand in a line in the porch and introduce themselves one by one. As it stood, I just bought her over earlier than mum was expecting and she tried to kiss my girlfriend on the cheek and offered to lend her a book. Wut.

At my 8th birthday I managed to get myself stuck in the toilet, so my mom had to pull me out. :suicide:

[QUOTE=Stimich;36980227]At my 8th birthday I managed to get myself stuck in the toilet, so my mom had to pull me out. :suicide:[/QUOTE] That's [i]bad ass[/i] :downsrim:

Getting walked in whilst beating the meat. Walking into the ladies' room unknowingly, and walking out mortified while my friends cackle at my dumbassity. Gave my gym teacher (little 1st-year lady) a concussion with a basketball. Good times? Nosebled on my nana's couch. Blood is a bitch to get out of cushions. Imitating Coach Z when I was younger by repeatedly saying "orgy". I figured he said goofy things like "jorb" and the word "orgy" sounds goofy... Didn't figure out what it meant until a few years later.

I shit my pants while visiting Europe with my family. To be more specific, in the black forest in Germany. I had to take off my underwear, wipe my ass with it, then throw it into the forest. As I'm walking off my dad yells "Don't get killed by a boar, I hear they live out here". My entire family busts up, as I walk away in a weird combination of shame and fear, and hurl my shit covered underwear deep into the forest.

This isn't really embarrassing, only slightly. So, in 9th grade, I'd just finished taking my science exam. The test was on the computer, and I'd finished pretty quickly compared to everyone else. So I had like a bunch of free time before the half day ended and Thanksgiving break began. Considering all of the good game websites were blocked, I decided to browse the Internet. I considered checking FP, but the format is slightly broken in Internet Explorer (why our school uses that I'll never know), and there were no threads I was interested in at the time. Instead, I opted to browse TVTropes. More specifically, I was reading a lengthy series of posts on the many bugs in Zelda: Ocarina of Time and how they made it possible to beat the whole game in about an hour. So I'm reading it with great interest, and suddenly I hear my science teacher say from behind me, "That's gotta be the geekiest thing I've ever read over someone's shoulder." He's a bit of a geek himself, so he was just saying it jokingly. But still, I was a tad embarrassed that he took the time to read everything I was reading, about all of the ways you can cheat in Zelda.

Ripped my pants on a screw on a trailer back in high school. Tore the right side clean off. The shame of walking around for the rest of the day with a whole thigh showing. THE SHAME!

this one time i went swimming with my school, and after i walked into the wrong changeroom.

Once when I was little I hated soup. So back in my Grandmas Farm I decided to take my discust for soup into activism and I decided to take that activism into a clever level of sabotage. So my grandmother had the kitchen downstairs where my evil plan was about to unfold. My grandmah had left the kitchen so the coast was clear and the time afoot for the sabotage. As I tip toed to the kitchen there lied a huge pot of soup over the counter right near the oven where the smell of a cooking lamb filled the air. The pot was high for my reach so I took a bench from the living room table and stood on it, facing down the greenish content of the pot (the soup) with all the vegetables still floating fresh in the liquid. As I looked down upon the pot that rested a few centimetres down my waist and It was time to make the evil deed. [I]VIVE LA RESISTANCE![/I] I reached my hands towards my pant's zipper... [I]*zzzziippppp*[/I] ...And put out my penis. The plan was being set in motion. There was no turning back. [I]*phhhhhhiiiiiiiiiisssssssssssssss*[/I] - made the piss coming out the obscene member pointed at the soup [I]*prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr*[/I] - made the piss dripping against the soup. [I]*glop* *glop* *glop*[/I] - made the last drops. There was no drop to be wasted. The sabotage should be complete. I calmly zipped my pants up. washed my hands in the sink. Put back the bench where it was and calmly directed myself upstairs. Discreet and subtle with the poise of a gentleman, greeting my grandmother's guests with the utmost respect and integrity. (mostly my family, uncles, distant cousins). Not some minutes later, grandma calls to dinner. It had begun. Like a gentleman and with the wits of the man of the house I loudly and respectfully I announced: "Dear family, I announce I won't be having any soup today because I want to reserve my belly to the tasty lamb in the ove-" . "Over my dead body, young man!", interrupted my mother. And thus the stew pot is heavily dropped by my grandfathers heavy arms on the centre of the table my heart stopped. It was like destiny would play a hard prank on me. I kept my posture, trying to make an excuse not to eat the soup but every attempt failed. I guess it's something that comes with young age: the fact that you always have to eat the damn soup. Fact that I didn't predict at the time. But I'd learn. Ironically, I get served first. Then the women and then the men. In perfect synchrony everybody starts avidly eating the soup as if it were the nectar of life. Soup was always welcome in the bellies of the men of my family and a delicacy everybody loved prior to the main dish. There was no comment about an unusual taste in the soup, in fact, everybody was rather delighted "hum, the soup is very tasty!"... except for me... It was time for me to taste my own venom. There could be no more staling, the pressure was on me since I didn't touched the soup. My grandfather eating at the other end of the table looks at me: "Come on lad! Real men eat soup! Soup has been the meal of this family since we worked the fields! At the time we hadn't got any of this delicious food you have today! It was only soup, potatoes and wine! Eat up, Lad! You have to eat your soup, no matter what!" That "no matter what stayed" in my head for a while... as if HE KNEW! I took a deep breath and started eating the soup. Knowing I peed on the soup made it into the most stupid prank I've ever done. After a while it was finished. And the roast lamb was put on the table. Facepunch, I didn't tell anyone of my family about what I had done. That episode was punishment enough so it will be a secret I'll take to my grave. However I have a big respect for soup now for I learned something that day: You don't fuck with the soup or it fucks you back. Thank you, facepunch.

Oh Satan, that fucking soup-piss story. You're the man here, definetely.

I guess pissing on the soup is every kid's dream.