Embarrassing Situations Thread V1.0 - Oh, the shame! - General

[QUOTE=war_man333;39246682]Last saturday I ended up dancing with two 5 foot late 20's girls, 1 asian, 1 norwegian, while being piss drunk. Then I proceeded to follow this chick from my class out of the club, 5 am in the morning. She told me, because she knew I was drunk as hell, that I lived in "that direction!" I decided to walk the opposite direction, and to my luck, I ran into one of my friends, that took the courtesy to walk me halfway home. at least i didnt throw up on anyone[/QUOTE] 1 Asian and 1 Norwegian? May I ask where this was?

Norway

[QUOTE=Cree8ive;39252536]1 Asian and 1 Norwegian? May I ask where this was?[/QUOTE] Denmark

Another one. I was in a friends car and we were all really wasted aside from the driver of course. As we are driving around I had the tremendous urge to spit, being drunk and forgetting that the window was up I coughed up the biggest most green phlegm from the depths of my throat. And launched that fucker into the window. many laughs were had.

Few years back when I was strolling to my class. I saw a new guy in the college, so I made the decision to go up to him and asked if he required any help the guy converted around and he became a teacher! the worsts part is he was our class incharge.

[QUOTE=urundeadmom;39254569]Another one. I was in a friends car and we were all really wasted aside from the driver of course. As we are driving around I had the tremendous urge to spit, being drunk and forgetting that the window was up I coughed up the biggest most green phlegm from the depths of my throat. And launched that fucker into the window. many laughs were had.[/QUOTE] The very first time I got drunk, we got absolutely trashed on some random whiskey and other liquors mixed (they were stolen, like 10 bottle with a few shots from each). Three of us in his shed down all of it and I had the most, we were passing the bottle around and while they were taking drinks I was gulping each time. After your turn drinking you were passed a big ass Sturgis cigar, as a kid that felt awesome. then the morning after my friend was driving me home and I was in shotgun, rolled down the window and halfway out I puke up doritos and the little bit of liquor left in my stomach, half makes it onto the street, the other half all over the armrest and the person sitting behind me who had their window open also. Got home still stumbling and had to bring a few rags out and clean it up

For some reason I haven't been able to pinpoint yet my intestines betrayed me during one of the university access exams in early summer and I pooped myself a little bit with barely 1 question out of 4 answered. I half-assed two more questions as fast as I could and had to bail because I felt like I was seriously dying, only then I realised I was sitting literally in the middle of a large classroom with 70 other people in it. When I came home I realised I had a small but nonetheless noticeable smear. I got a score of 3,5 out of 10 in the exam too. :( tl;dr my sphincter is an asshole

this isn't really [I]that[/I] embarrassing, but i have to say i still felt a bit embarrassed afterwards anyway, i'm at a stoplight on a road that has a speed limit of 55, and i think to myself "i do drive a sports sedan, why don't i ever put it into the sport mode? (it's not a sports car, but when it's in sports mode it can probably do 0-60 in maybe 6.5 seconds?) so i whip it into sports mode, when the light turns green i immediately accelerate as fast as i can up to about 60 miles per hour. while i'm accelerating, i change lanes to pass a white suburban which had turned in front of me. it was only after i had passed it going about 5 miles per hour over the speed limit that i looked in my rear view mirror and noticed the word "POLICE" on the front of the car. awkward. i didn't get pulled over or anything but i still felt quite embarrassed not only accelerating as fast as possible, but passing a police officer while speeding. it's like holding up a giant sign that says "HEY DIPSHIT HERE I AM, GIVE ME A TICKET"

Good thing there's no quick acceleration law. :v:

[QUOTE=Kurrus;39263833]tl;dr my sphincter is an asshole[/QUOTE] oh my god my sides

[QUOTE=Kahgarak;39264755]oh my god my sides[/QUOTE] Oh God I just got that, fuck.

teachers at school not present at lesson everybody prints pictures of cats supply teacher walks in in the middle of me collecting them from the printer he asks what I'm doing "Sir he's printing pictures of pussies"

Asking for help and the computer via steam, and being computer retarded. Man, glad it wasn't a real life phonecall. I have chatlog if anyone wants.

Yesterday in chemistry class our teacher was explaining molecular bonds. He made a cute Asian cheerleader and I hold hands to demonstrate bond lengths. He then made us hold both hands to demonstrate a double bond, and I couldn't kick the feeling that my hands were sweaty, even though I've never had a problem with sweaty hands. The teacher then asked us to demonstrate a triple bond, which he said would require me planting my genitals inside hers. The whole class burst into laughter as he made us sit down instead. I couldn't help but notice her wiping her hands off on the pants of her cheerleading uniform. Later the teacher walks over to me, "Oh come on, Jake, the least you can do is thank me."

[QUOTE=Apache249;39264252]Good thing there's no quick acceleration law. :v:[/QUOTE] If you take off, Tires spinning then stop accelerating at the speed limit, The ticket they'll give you is driving without due care, Or reckless.

This isn't embarrassing for me, but I definitely caused it for them. I was walking to work at 6:30 in the morning for a early as shit shift when I caught something in the corner of my eye, it was a guy giving it to some girl mentally in plain view through a bedroom window. The girl looked up and saw me and I decided to just stop on the spot, put on a huge grin and wave slowly. They rather swiftly got out of view then I saw the curtains close :v: She was fairly uggo though :(

[QUOTE=GoldenBullet;39279828]This isn't embarrassing for me, but I definitely caused it for them. I was walking to work at 6:30 in the morning for a early as shit shift when I caught something in the corner of my eye, it was a guy giving it to some girl mentally in plain view through a bedroom window. The girl looked up and saw me and I decided to just stop on the spot, put on a huge grin and wave slowly. They rather swiftly got out of view then I saw the curtains close :v: She was fairly uggo though :([/QUOTE] And on this day, GoldenBullet need not give the D, for she was already getting the D.

[QUOTE=psychojake;39277820]Yesterday in chemistry class our teacher was explaining molecular bonds. He made a cute Asian cheerleader and I hold hands to demonstrate bond lengths. He then made us hold both hands to demonstrate a double bond, and I couldn't kick the feeling that my hands were sweaty, even though I've never had a problem with sweaty hands. The teacher then asked us to demonstrate a triple bond, which he said would require me planting my genitals inside hers. The whole class burst into laughter as he made us sit down instead. I couldn't help but notice her wiping her hands off on the pants of her cheerleading uniform. Later the teacher walks over to me, "Oh come on, Jake, the least you can do is thank me."[/QUOTE] Did you fuck her Or did the teacher fuck you

[QUOTE=psychojake;39277820]Yesterday in chemistry class our teacher was explaining molecular bonds. He made a cute Asian cheerleader and I hold hands to demonstrate bond lengths. He then made us hold both hands to demonstrate a double bond, and I couldn't kick the feeling that my hands were sweaty, even though I've never had a problem with sweaty hands. The teacher then asked us to demonstrate a triple bond, which he said would require me planting my genitals inside hers. The whole class burst into laughter as he made us sit down instead. I couldn't help but notice her wiping her hands off on the pants of her cheerleading uniform. Later the teacher walks over to me, "Oh come on, Jake, the least you can do is thank me."[/QUOTE] You don't really need to say cute when you say "asian". It's kind of implied when you tack on "Cheerleader". You give her your massive schlong yet?

One time I took a shit so massive I thought my nephew was drowning in the toilet again.

again?

Yes again. Oh, and last week. I was at home doing something very important for work. I held in my shit until I was finished. I was half way to the bathroom and I couldn't hold it in. All the held in poop came rushing out my ass and down my pant legs. The watery substance was rapidly creating a brown smelly puddle beneath my feet. I stopped and stared. I didn't even notice that I was in front of the main entrance of my house. My son and his new girlfriend were staring at me. They broke up in front of my eyes that instant. I'm sorry, Son.

[QUOTE=psychojake;39277820]Yesterday in chemistry class our teacher was explaining molecular bonds. He made a cute Asian cheerleader and I hold hands to demonstrate bond lengths. He then made us hold both hands to demonstrate a double bond, and I couldn't kick the feeling that my hands were sweaty, even though I've never had a problem with sweaty hands. The teacher then asked us to demonstrate a triple bond, which he said would require me planting my genitals inside hers. The whole class burst into laughter as he made us sit down instead. I couldn't help but notice her wiping her hands off on the pants of her cheerleading uniform. Later the teacher walks over to me, "Oh come on, Jake, the least you can do is thank me."[/QUOTE] weird teacher, no joke.

So this is a short and terrible event that haunts me to this day, so make no mistake in thinking that I derive some sick enjoyment out of this having had happened. I was really young, like literally 7 years old or something, and one day I realized that there was a bird's nest outside of my room's window. Me being a 7 year old thought it would be fantastic if I went to go see what the nest looked like up close, and maybe even touch an egg because I thought that would be fun. I climbed up the tree a bit, as the nest was pretty low to the ground, and I held onto the egg, unfortunately, however, I dropped it. It was at this point, for some reason, that my parents came out and saw it all. It was terrible and it was that day that I learned that I should never mess with birds. Oh, the baby bird died by the way, bloody egg and everything.

[QUOTE=shrektheturd2;39281316]weird teacher, no joke.[/QUOTE] It's hard to explain. He isn't a creep or anything. He's really freaking funny and he's great at his job.

He actually reminds me of a teacher I've got. Are all of his tests open-note and does he let you get full credit through test corrections?

[QUOTE=BigJoeyLemons;39281626]He actually reminds me of a teacher I've got. Are all of his tests open-note and does he let you get full credit through test corrections?[/QUOTE] Some of his quizzes are open-note, but he doesn't let you get full credit through corrections.

[QUOTE=psychojake;39281658]Some of his quizzes are open-note, but he doesn't let you get full credit through corrections.[/QUOTE] Aw, okay.

[QUOTE=RoflKawpter;39280664]You don't really need to say cute when you say "asian". It's kind of implied when you tack on "Cheerleader". You give her your massive schlong yet?[/QUOTE] Not all Asian chicks are cute, and definitely not all cheerleaders are cute.

[QUOTE=Apache249;39285929]Not all Asian chicks are cute, and definitely not all cheerleaders are cute.[/QUOTE] Most of the cheerleaders in my school are drunk sluts with deplorable nose structure.