Embarrassing Situations Thread V1.0 - Oh, the shame! - General

So, every day these two kids argue. One is fat and has curly as fuck hair, and he usually just sits there and browses the internet with a laptop. The other one is a 2cool4school kid who keeps the stickers on his hats, well. This kid annoys fucking everyone, and is naturally hated for it. One day they were talking and eventually "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Now somehow, the fat one did not get suspended or anything but warned.

-Snip-

So my neighborhood used to have block parties. I must've been around 4 when this happened, and I still remember it vividly. Our court and the street were divided by the speed bump. So basically the block party was set up to the speed bump and then stopped. Well everyone was having a grand old time, and suddenly I realized, "Holy shit, I have to take a massive piss". To my dismay, the front door of the house was locked. Not wanting to disturb my parents, and my bladder about to burst, I went past the speed bump around the corner to a tree, took out my willie, and starting pissin' up a storm. Needless to say, two 18-year old girls (8/10) drove by, saw me, and wolf whistled. My face turned beet red, and I tried to pull up my fly, but it got stuck. So I had to go to my parents, dick hangin' out, and have them remedy the situation. I still can't urinate in the woods to this day. [sub]And no I didn't give them the willie.[/sub]

do you not wear any kind of underwear?

[QUOTE='[Memoria];39286718']Last year in my Civics classroom I spent my semester with a girl who could barely tell her left hand from her right. (WARNING: YOU MAY HARM YOURSELF FACEPALMING)This one day we were studying upon JFK and his assassination. There was one picture of JFK, a black and white photo in which this girl replies to with [B]"WAS JFK BLACK?"[/B] Bad enough already. but wait it gets better because I need to build suspension. We all reply no of course and then the question of the century appears. This directly comes out ofher mouth "Then why did he get shot?" and also to add in a quick other one three weeks later after someone gave a current event about someone trying to cut their wrist. She quickly asks "Why does slitting your wrist kill you?" I am embarrased to even be in the same state with this girl. JUST WHY[/QUOTE] Instead of making fun of people over the internet why don't you try helping her instead? Maybe tutoring or something? Who knows, you find out that she's actually a good person even though shes not as smart as you and you could become good friends. [SUB][SUB]And you might get to give her the d.[/SUB][/SUB]

[QUOTE=psychojake;39277820]Yesterday in chemistry class our teacher was explaining molecular bonds. He made a cute Asian cheerleader and I hold hands to demonstrate bond lengths. He then made us hold both hands to demonstrate a double bond, and I couldn't kick the feeling that my hands were sweaty, even though I've never had a problem with sweaty hands. The teacher then asked us to demonstrate a triple bond, which he said would require me planting my genitals inside hers. The whole class burst into laughter as he made us sit down instead. I couldn't help but notice her wiping her hands off on the pants of her cheerleading uniform. Later the teacher walks over to me, "Oh come on, Jake, the least you can do is thank me."[/QUOTE] Your teacher is a utter and complete legend.

A few years ago I had numerous bouts of constipation. However, I often got through most bowel movements unscathed. Then it happened - the mother of all constipated bowel movements. I was at a family member's house and I had to poop, so I go to the bathroom. I knew that this was going to be another bout of constipation the moment I sat down. I began by seeing if the stool would ease closer towards "the exit," but it didn't. When I am constipated I usually strain slightly just to get the stool past the threshold then let gravity do its work. This time it wasn't working. I started to strain more, but my sphincter was too tight and the stool too large. Then I kick my straining into high gear and the stool began coming out, but that was only the tip of the iceberg. So I had to go through the awful and shameful feeling of sucking the stool back up. For the next hour and a half I went through the process of straining, stopping, failing, and then having to suck the stool back in. Eventually, I said to myself, "I'm sick of being in this fucking bathroom. This shit is coming out." From here on I took myself and my asshole on the most painfully embarrassing ride. First, I got into the most awkward position. I grasped one side of the toilet with one hand, placed my foot on the ledge of the tub (for what reason? I don't know), clinched the sink with my other hand, and planted my other foot normally in front of the toilet. Then I strained. I strained and I strained and I strained. The stool was slowly coming out, and when it reached that point where it didn't want to proceed any further I FUCKING STRAINED TO THE MAX. In fact, I strained so hard I began pissing all over the floor, but I didn't care. This shit was getting out of me. I started clinching the toilet and sink very hard, and with my foot on the tub I began lifting myself slightly off the toilet. I tensed every muscle except for my asshole. Finally, I went for the last strain and "ka-ploop" the the shit was gone. The after feeling was weird. I was slightly sweating and panting. There was piss all over the floor. I was laid out with one leg resting in the tub, and my arms, other leg and head was sprawled out in fatigue. The weirdest thing of all was the way my asshole felt. It felt like the grand canyon - a gaping fucking chasm. There was no blood in the toilet; however, there was a baseball size stool. I could feel my asshole winking and a slight breeze entering. I faced the prospect of clean up. There is shame and in cleaning up piss and plunging a large turd. Even though I was alone I was still embarrassed by myself like tripping when no one is around, but exponentially worse.

[QUOTE=RoflKawpter;39280664]You don't really need to say cute when you say "asian". It's kind of implied when you tack on "Cheerleader". You give her your massive schlong yet?[/QUOTE] not every asian chick is like your animes

[QUOTE=BigJoeyLemons;39286186]Most of the cheerleaders in my school are drunk sluts with deplorable nose structure.[/QUOTE] So they must be perpetually drunk if you can use drunk as an adjective to describe their person [editline]20th January 2013[/editline] [QUOTE='[Memoria];39286718']Last year in my Civics classroom I spent my semester with a girl who could barely tell her left hand from her right. (WARNING: YOU MAY HARM YOURSELF FACEPALMING)This one day we were studying upon JFK and his assassination. There was one picture of JFK, a black and white photo in which this girl replies to with [B]"WAS JFK BLACK?"[/B] Bad enough already. but wait it gets better because I need to build suspension. We all reply no of course and then the question of the century appears. This directly comes out ofher mouth "Then why did he get shot?" and also to add in a quick other one three weeks later after someone gave a current event about someone trying to cut their wrist. She quickly asks "Why does slitting your wrist kill you?" I am embarrased to even be in the same state with this girl. JUST WHY[/QUOTE] Ignorance is not stupidity, her "dumb" questions are simply brought about by compounding ignorance.

[QUOTE=ducklingqt;39290771]So they must be perpetually drunk if you can use drunk as an adjective to describe their person [/QUOTE] Most of the time they're one of three things: Intoxicated, trying to get intoxicated, or recalling an event in which they were heavily intoxicated. I'm sure we all know people like that.

[QUOTE=dill6869;39286886]do you not wear any kind of underwear?[/QUOTE] When I was little I used to pull my underwear fully down to piss. I thought everybody did that at the time.

feelsgoodman.jpg

[QUOTE=Ausare;39287441]A few years ago I had numerous bouts of constipation. However, I often got through most bowel movements unscathed. Then it happened - the mother of all constipated bowel movements. I was at a family member's house and I had to poop, so I go to the bathroom. I knew that this was going to be another bout of constipation the moment I sat down. I began by seeing if the stool would ease closer towards "the exit," but it didn't. When I am constipated I usually strain slightly just to get the stool past the threshold then let gravity do its work. This time it wasn't working. I started to strain more, but my sphincter was too tight and the stool too large. Then I kick my straining into high gear and the stool began coming out, but that was only the tip of the iceberg. So I had to go through the awful and shameful feeling of sucking the stool back up. For the next hour and a half I went through the process of straining, stopping, failing, and then having to suck the stool back in. Eventually, I said to myself, "I'm sick of being in this fucking bathroom. This shit is coming out." From here on I took myself and my asshole on the most painfully embarrassing ride. First, I got into the most awkward position. I grasped one side of the toilet with one hand, placed my foot on the ledge of the tub (for what reason? I don't know), clinched the sink with my other hand, and planted my other foot normally in front of the toilet. Then I strained. I strained and I strained and I strained. The stool was slowly coming out, and when it reached that point where it didn't want to proceed any further I FUCKING STRAINED TO THE MAX. In fact, [B]I strained so hard I began pissing all over the floor, but I didn't care.[/B] This shit was getting out of me. I started clinching the toilet and sink very hard, and with my foot on the tub I began lifting myself slightly off the toilet. I tensed every muscle except for my asshole. Finally, I went for the last strain and "ka-ploop" the the shit was gone. The after feeling was weird. I was slightly sweating and panting. There was piss all over the floor. I was laid out with one leg resting in the tub, and my arms, other leg and head was sprawled out in fatigue. The weirdest thing of all was the way my asshole felt. It felt like the grand canyon - a gaping fucking chasm. There was no blood in the toilet; however, there was a baseball size stool. I could feel my asshole winking and a slight breeze entering. I faced the prospect of clean up. There is shame and in cleaning up piss and plunging a large turd. Even though I was alone I was still embarrassed by myself like tripping when no one is around, but exponentially worse.[/QUOTE] Died. This part killed me. gg

[QUOTE=PollytheParrot;39286930]Instead of making fun of people over the internet why don't you try helping her instead? Maybe tutoring or something? Who knows, you find out that she's actually a good person even though shes not as smart as you and you could become good friends. [SUB][SUB]And you might get to give her the d.[/SUB][/SUB][/QUOTE] I am sorry to say this but, this girl is in the group of people who are hipichristians and chant YOLO or SWAG like their life depended on it I believe I could not handle this, also you are also not the first to state that someone needs to tutor her but I do not believe this would help because after this statement she asked the question of who Martin Luther King jr. was and many of my friends now believe she is acting ignorant for some reason. Anyways thank you for telling me what you thought. However, do not think I am the one who thought to post this, two of my other friends thought it would be pretty good to tell the story.

On Halloween 2007 me and my friend went trick or treating, we were like 11 or something anyhow we had like one last house to got to. When we knocked on the door a really hot 17 year old answered the door in a black gymnastics leotard or something, instead of saying trick or treat we were both standing there wide eyed with our jaws dropped, She asked us if we wanted candy and we quickly went "Oh yeah yes Trick or treat" and speed walked away.

[QUOTE=Minimole;39294431]On Halloween 2007 me and my friend went trick or treating, we were like 11 or something anyhow we had like one last house to got to. When we knocked on the door a really hot 17 year old answered the door in a black gymnastics leotard or something, instead of saying trick or treat we were both standing there wide eyed with our jaws dropped, She asked us if we wanted candy and we quickly went "Oh yeah yes Trick or treat" and speed walked away.[/QUOTE] Did you feed her your pelvic candy bar

[QUOTE='[Memoria];39293597']I am sorry to say this but, this girl is in the group of people who are hipichristians and chant YOLO or SWAG like their life depended on it I believe I could not handle this, also you are also not the first to state that someone needs to tutor her but I do not believe this would help because after this statement she asked the question of who Martin Luther King jr. was and many of my friends now believe she is acting ignorant for some reason. Anyways thank you for telling me what you thought. However, do not think I am the one who thought to post this, two of my other friends thought it would be pretty good to tell the story.[/QUOTE] did you just justify not trying to tutor her because she's doesn't know history well? Isn't that like the point of tutoring, to help teach someone things they don't know?

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;39294773]Having boners on the first date is pretty embarrassing.[/QUOTE] Somehow I think it'd be worse if you got a really lucky first date and don't get it up.

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;39294773]Having boners on the first date is pretty embarrassing.[/QUOTE] Just tuck it in, I hug people for like hours with a large hardon collider in my pants all tucked in.

People always give me a bit of flak for wearing white briefs. They're always all "Oh look you've got tighty-whities" and I'm just like yeah wtf is so weird about that They're just way more comfortable to me, they keep your dick in one place instead of it flopping around. Plus I had some bad boxers when I was younger, they chaffed in places that should never be chaffed o_o

[QUOTE=tratzzz;39294909]Somehow I think it'd be worse if you got a really lucky first date and don't get it up.[/QUOTE] Oh god the first time my girlfriend tried to get intimate with me and I was too nervous to get it up. You don't know that kind of shame and embarrassment. (It was a one time occurrence, luckily. Haven't had that problem ever since.)

[QUOTE=BigJoeyLemons;39295335]People always give me a bit of flak for wearing white briefs. They're always all "Oh look you've got tighty-whities" and I'm just like yeah wtf is so weird about that They're just way more comfortable to me, they keep your dick in one place instead of it flopping around. Plus I had some bad boxers when I was younger, they chaffed in places that should never be chaffed o_o[/QUOTE]Get boxer briefs, best of both worlds

[QUOTE=BigJoeyLemons;39295335]People always give me a bit of flak for wearing white briefs. They're always all "Oh look you've got tighty-whities" and I'm just like yeah wtf is so weird about that They're just way more comfortable to me, they keep your dick in one place instead of it flopping around. Plus I had some bad boxers when I was younger, they chaffed in places that should never be chaffed o_o[/QUOTE] Choice of underwear has never been a big deal to me, I don't understand all the stigma related to wearing a specific kind. I just don't wear any, it solves a lot of problems.

because going commando is comfortable

[QUOTE=oakman26;39296317]you dont wear underwear uhhhhhh uhhhhhhhhh uuuuuuuuhhhhhhh ... why[/QUOTE] The same reason people wear boxers? I wear BDUs that are a bit too big and shirts a size larger for the same reason. I like having roomy clothing.

If you're bad with a zipper, sure.

I got my pecker caught in the zip once and when I yanked it back up it tore some skin off. i was quite young at the time, i believe.

i got mine stuck in the zipper then it fell off so now its not a problem anymore

none of you will know the pain of being unable to cum none of you. I can go for hours fuck my life (and my earlier deathgrip)

[QUOTE=Ruski v2.0;39297383]none of you will know the pain of being unable to cum none of you. I can go for hours fuck my life (and my earlier deathgrip)[/QUOTE] I'm curious, elaborate?