Embarrassing Situations Thread V1.0 - Oh, the shame! - General

[QUOTE=tratzzz;39305834]Do you like browse web with like 30 pairs of pants or have just images turned off?[/QUOTE] [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZepj6u5Dtc[/media]

[QUOTE] Oh, and last week. I was at home doing something very important for work. I held in my shit until I was finished. I was half way to the bathroom and I couldn't hold it in. All the held in poop came rushing out my ass and down my pant legs. The watery substance was rapidly creating a brown smelly puddle beneath my feet. I stopped and stared. I didn't even notice that I was in front of the main entrance of my house. My son and his new girlfriend were staring at me. They broke up in front of my eyes that instant. I'm sorry, Son.[/QUOTE] I came home to see a big, steamy, pile of shit all over my desk. Apparently, this is my son's idea of revenge.

When I was in the 4th grade, my teacher liked me, she joked around and stuff. So for some reason, she came up with the nickname "Peanut Gallery", douchebag students started saying it, and while she was out of the room a bunch of people started calling me Peanut Gallery. I got fed up, and told them to stop. Only one problem. I said "Stop calling me [B]PENIS[/B] Gallery. I said "oh crap", and everyone sort of laughed and went "ew" at the same time. Never got caught, luckily.

[QUOTE=Ruski v2.0;39302654]Thanks to everyone for their advice and worries etc. Basically put, I desensitised my dick to normal stimulation through 4 years jerkin it everyday hard. The girlfriend is quite understanding and she enjoys going for about an hour, although it pisses me off no end. It is getting better, I am on nofap and when I last did nofap a few weeks ago after a month we were having normal sex (about 20 mins for me to nut). yes I do give my gf the d [editline]21st January 2013[/editline] I lasted 2 hours my first time btw. She came 3 times. It is both a gift and a curse sometimes, it sounds bad on here, [b]but in RL I have a reputation as being dynamite in bed.[/b][/QUOTE] Dude, you sound like a massive tool. A lawn rake, to be specific.

My gf's sister has walked in while we were doing it twice but I don't mind it at all. [editline]22nd January 2013[/editline] I also think her parents know that we're doing it but they just lie to themselves about it.

[QUOTE=U.JoeBenson;39306648]I came home to see a big, steamy, pile of shit all over my desk. Apparently, this is my son's idea of revenge.[/QUOTE] what the fuck

[QUOTE=Levinx;39303931]Well, I guess it's time I told someone. Not really sure if this is embarrassing, but whatever. About two years ago, me and my ex were fucking on the bed, she was on top and I had a small penis. Now the thing was, she was riding me like for twenty minutes, for whatever reason, my penis was hurting because she was going rough and I had a small penis, I could tell that she wasn't enjoying bit of it, or at least I thought. The reason why I'm telling you I had a small penis was that after I came in her; which I had a condom on, she got off and the condom was gone. The fucking condom was inside her stanky pussy. You know what our reaction was? We were both freaking out, we were both 16 and I didn't want to no god damn baby. She hurried to the washroom, got in the bathtub; cuz I told her to go there and I followed suit. Now imagine this, imagine a half-naked man, kneeling down, in front if his Ex in the bathtub, sticking his whole fucking right hand inside her vag trying to pull the condom and not only that, while she was freaking out, "GET IT OUT.", I don't even think she was moaning but just grunting. Not only that but I had a bottle of anti-bacterial soap, thinking that it would destroy my cum. What I did was I tried to pouring the soap inside her, but that didn't work, it was stupid. Then I decided to once again fist her, but with anti-bacterial soup on my hand. Cleaning the walls and the roof, if you catch my drift. Thinking that I would clear the cum out. But, I was wrong.[/QUOTE] Why was her vagina "stanky"?

[QUOTE=Yahnich;39308876]it's his ex, he's probably mad it's the same reason why girls suddenly go all "my ex's dick was TINY"[/QUOTE] Yeah I knew a chick like this. Talked about how my mate had a pretty big dick. Then he decided it'd be funny to pee on her hand while she was giving him a handy. After that his dick was tiny.

[QUOTE=MuTAnT;39308984]Yeah I knew a chick like this. Talked about how my mate had a pretty big dick. Then he decided it'd be funny to pee on her hand while she was giving him a handy. After that his dick was tiny.[/QUOTE] He thought it would be funny... To piss on his girlfriend's hand...

Wasn't his girlfriend either.

Regarding to my story. Abortion. Oh and she a slut now, did something with ten guys while I went to summer camp.

In 7th grade I walked into the boys restroom to see some guy shitting in a urinal. Immediately when I walked in he looked at me and screamed, "FUCK OFF" and I ran out of there.

[QUOTE=magicman1234;39309969]In 7th grade I walked into the boys restroom to see some guy shitting in a urinal. Immediately when I walked in he looked at me and screamed, "FUCK OFF" and I ran out of there.[/QUOTE] The worst situation is that he just turns his head to you, nods and looks back down at the ground.

[QUOTE=digigamer17;39303041]I get an erection that lasts about 10 or 20 seconds but then it just goes floppy. What's up with it?[/QUOTE] nothing

[QUOTE=Ruski v2.0;39303222]Why the fuck would I brag? I was posting a relevant and embarassing thing about me in the embarassing stories thread, that's all. If you want I could tell all the stories of how this has sucked for me, would you like that? Would it make you feel better, knowing that the guy who can go for ages actually has had a sucky relationship history becuase of it? You can post about what you want, I won't try and be passive aggressive. Stop getting butthurt about me sharing an actual problem I have. If it makes you happy to hear this, I'd do anything to be able to nut in 15 minutes everytime. Anything. Now stop being edgy, post a goddamn embarrassing story or get the fuck out.[/QUOTE] I have the same kind of thing. I touch my weenie a few times a week (sometimes 4 or 5 if I'm majorly antsy), have used next to no lube during my life and am circumcised, which doesn't help with sensitivity. It's a bitch sometimes, because you just get tired or you start to feel bad for your girl, who insists on sucking you off for up to 40 minutes just to get a reaction, only to stop because she has a sore neck and then feels bad about not being able to make you finish. I might try what Yahnich suggested, to see if that helps. If not, NoFap. I've been trying to hold off on going wild during the week. EDIT: Any other suggestions? Neither Ruski nor I are trying to brag about this - there are times I've wished I could finish earlier than later. Sure, it sounds glamorous, but it can be a real annoyance. [QUOTE=TaiwanesePrick;39311161]last friday the upper L building bathrooms at school were locked and I really needed to go pee so I went downstairs and checked to see if the lower bathrooms were open when WHADDYA KNOW only the girl’s bathroom’s open. not wanting to walk all the way to the satellite bathrooms from the back of the L building (it’s about a 3 minute walk) I decide to take my chances and use the girl’s bathroom. so I run in, and bolt into a stall, and pull my pants down and sit on a toilet to pee because that’s what girls do, and I didn’t want someone to walk in and see my feet in the wrong direction cause then they’d know I was a guy like what happened at my last band competition (another story for another day). luckily, there’s nobody but me in the bathroom, and just when I’m about to get up, two girls walk in. and they DON’T get into a stall. they’re just chilling in front of the sink, and lo and behold, I hear the flick of a lighter and smell marijuana. they were smoking weed in the bathroom, and here I was, a boy, stuck in the girl’s bathroom. while these two girls were smoking weed. I was mentally kicking myself at this point for not going to the satellite bathrooms, but I really didn’t have a choice, and I really needed to get back to class. I looked at my watch and found that it’d already been seven minutes and I was NOT about to let these two girls make me late back to class. so I swung open the door and looked at them and said “I’M NOT A BOY, YOU GUYS ARE JUST HIGH AS KITES.” and ran back to class. never again.[/QUOTE] And that's when you gave them the D, correct?

last friday the upper L building bathrooms at school were locked and I really needed to go pee so I went downstairs and checked to see if the lower bathrooms were open when WHADDYA KNOW only the girl’s bathroom’s open. not wanting to walk all the way to the satellite bathrooms from the back of the L building (it’s about a 3 minute walk) I decide to take my chances and use the girl’s bathroom. so I run in, and bolt into a stall, and pull my pants down and sit on a toilet to pee because that’s what girls do, and I didn’t want someone to walk in and see my feet in the wrong direction cause then they’d know I was a guy like what happened at my last band competition (another story for another day). luckily, there’s nobody but me in the bathroom, and just when I’m about to get up, two girls walk in. and they DON’T get into a stall. they’re just chilling in front of the sink, and lo and behold, I hear the flick of a lighter and smell marijuana. they were smoking weed in the bathroom, and here I was, a boy, stuck in the girl’s bathroom. while these two girls were smoking weed. I was mentally kicking myself at this point for not going to the satellite bathrooms, but I really didn’t have a choice, and I really needed to get back to class. I looked at my watch and found that it’d already been seven minutes and I was NOT about to let these two girls make me late back to class. so I swung open the door and looked at them and said “I’M NOT A BOY, YOU GUYS ARE JUST HIGH AS KITES.” and ran back to class. never again.

This isn't so bad, really, but I thought I'd share it. There was a family gathering at my cousin's house, and it was a hot day, so I decide to go swimming with my cousins in the pool. No, actually, I hate swimming, and I was forced to do so. I'm one of those guys that takes absolutely fucking forever to fully submerge themselves into the water, because I hate the shock of just jumping in. I'm the guy that keeps testing the temperature of the water and then slowly sinks into the pool, trying to gradually get used to the chill of the water. So, I'm kind of just stuck there for a bit, and my cousins are taunting me about it. I don't give a shit, because fuck cold water. So, I'm busy explaining to them why I take so long to get in the pool, and suddenly a spider crawls up my arm, onto my shoulder, and into my field of view. Now, I'm not terribly arachnaphobic, but this thing was right on top of me, giving it a considerable advantage if it was looking to sink its nasty fangs into me. And, if my memory serves, it was a relatively exotic looking one, too. Needless to say, perhaps, my mind just went full on nope. I screamed something like, "Oh, what the fuck is that?! Oh, shit!" as I dived into the water, taking that little fucker with me. Normally, I wouldn't be too into the idea of killing it, but I was scared shitless then.

I called my recent love interest fat as a joke, because she was very thin. Turns out she had several eating disorders and had to go through months of therapy.

[QUOTE=pakadots;39311376]I called my recent love interest fat as a joke, because she was very thin. Turns out she had several eating disorders and had to go through months of therapy.[/QUOTE] [b]Never[/b] call a girl fat, even if joking. They'll hold a grudge on you forever.

With all the sincerity, my friends started a rumor that a have a big dick, yet they never saw it. "He looks like he has a big dick" It cracks me up everytime.

[QUOTE=psychojake;39311391][b]Never[/b] call a girl fat, even if joking. They'll hold a grudge on you forever.[/QUOTE] I dunno, I said it as a joke to 2 different girls and they haven't attempted to cut my balls off.

When Trotsky was still alive in the hospital for like wayy to long.

[QUOTE=pakadots;39311376]I called my recent love interest fat as a joke, because she was very thin. Turns out she had several eating disorders and had to go through months of therapy.[/QUOTE] I've done the same to my co-worker who apparently had/has an eating disorder. Seeing as I'm pageking I guess a story would be appropriate. This one time I was at my buddy's house, and it was a hot summers day so we had gone swimming. I then had to shit, but for whatever reason decided to run and shit in the woods instead of just going to his house which was RIGHT THERE. So I go and do my business (I even used leaves to wipe) when he and I decide to go into his house for a snack. Once in the house, his mother says that I had some mud on my leg, and that I was dragging it all around the house. Long story short I dragged my shit all around my friend's house and no-one was ever the wiser.

[QUOTE=Josef Stalin;39311512]When Trotsky was still alive in the hospital for like wayy to long.[/QUOTE] Stalin uses Linux?

[QUOTE=CorporalCupCake;39311563]Stalin uses Linux?[/QUOTE]Yes.

[QUOTE=kidkiller745;39311493]I dunno, I said it as a joke to 2 different girls and they haven't attempted to cut my balls off.[/QUOTE] maybe not but they'll probably remember it for a while

[QUOTE=Ruski v2.0;39302991]Hey dude, it can be emabarrassing as fuck sometimes, especially with a new partner. Don't judge. I just look on the brightside, I don't want to go for hours, its annoying as fuck and exhausting.[/QUOTE] I can relate to this. Let alone when you've been going at it and you lose your erection due to exhaustion and not to a happy ending. It can be rather frustrating.

So about two or three years ago, my ex girlfriend and I were laying in bed and decide to get frisky. Thus resulted in me ontop of her, groping her tits, andmy other hand on her back. Needless to say it was pretty awesome. But my sister thought it would be fine and dandy to barge in and 'check up' on us.you can bet there was an awkward boner somewhere in there, and the talk of shame when she brought my ex back to her house.

[QUOTE=Josef Stalin;39311594]Yes.[/QUOTE] Fuckin' communists, I knew they ran that shit.

This is a story my dad told me a while back. So when my dad was younger he was hanging out with some friends, one of the friends had this really funny and noticeable lisp, and they all decided they were going to order Chinese food. So the guy with the lisp went to the bathroom, and while he was in there they all decided they felt like pizza instead, so they ordered pizza. The guy then came out of the bathroom just as the delivery arrived, and the doorbell rings, so he runs to the door, opens it and shouts "[I][B]Chineeeeese!"[/B][/I]". The delivery guy was Chinese.