Embarrassing Situations Thread V1.0 - Oh, the shame! - General

I remembered another recent one. I am kinda DJ in school, and on the Last Bell (Russian tradition, celebration of the school last day which is carried before exams), I fucked up badly. Instead of turning on traditional music used when graduates come on the scene to recieve congratulations, I turned on Russian anthem. Director didn't like it, glad that i somehow managed to avoid any problems. But hey, I still think that it looked kinda cool, when they were walking in line, and anthem was playing. It certainly created atmosphere of solemnity, but oh well. I still feel a little guilty, I mean, I fucked up one of the most memorizable moments of school for them,

One time when I was about eight me and my mom were going into town to buy gifts for the children in her class (she is a para pro). Nothing special just pencils and stuff. So we walk into this crappy general store in the mall and while she's getting stuff I start screwing with this stupid paper holder thing and break a piece off. I slowly turn away, put my hands in my pockets, and start whistling as not to seem suspicious then this old guy points me out to the manager. the boss gets pissy at me and mom can't buy the pencils. So as a joke that Christmas my mo gives me a little white box, I shake it thinking it is a puzzle. I opened it and it turned out to be that stupid piece of crap I broke. I think I stormed off in rage after that.

I'm about 3. On a plane to Spain. My mum sits me on her lap. As the plane lifts off I explosively shit out of my diaper all over my mum's legs, who has to sit for 10 minutes whilst the plane climbs, in white jeans.

My friend and I were watching "Starship Troopers". Right as his mother started walking over, the sex scene started in the movie. Just as she walked into the room, a commercial came on. I mean, since we're legally adults, she wouldn't have cared, but it would have been awkward.

I generally was that one kid at school who no-one really cared about, but generally had the odd fucker that would pick on me so what happened could have potentially ruined my entire school life. It was Year 10, at the age of 13 because my birthday is awkward and in August. I was in drama class and had the urge to fart. If you were one of my friends then you knew that if I farted, it smelled like a chemical attack had just occurred and you would have to evacuate the immediate area to avoid casualties, and I knew this too, and this one was the Tsar Bomba. So we're sitting there in class with the teacher talking about something, and I think "I might be able to squeeze this one out carefully and quietly", so I make the smallest bowel movement and the monstrous fart flies at 100mph and blasts out of my arse emitting a sound similar to that of a Reaper in Mass Effect 3 and lasting for about as long too, I thought that must've been heard all the way too Pyongyang. Immediately I shit myself (not literally, that would've been worse), and me and my friend start laughing. Nobody else in the room heard it, and everyone was wondering why we we're laughing until the dreadful smell entered their nostrils. Through some divine means no one suspected me. Could've been dreadfully worse though. Farts have been my worst enemy since Year 7. If this continues when I go into college I will be sad.

I actually forgot one that happened when I was in Pre-Kindergarten. I was used to going to hunting clubs with my father so I was no stranger to peeing in the woods. During recess, I went up to my teacher and asked her if i could go to the restroom, she said no. I then decided to take matters into my own hands and went off a distance, zipped down, and began pissing. Then a group of three girls walk up, see what I'm doing and tell on me. So to speak, I turned three girls into women that day.

When I was really young, my little brother and I had to go with my mom shopping in a department store. We got bored while my mom was changing, so we began to play hide and seek. While I was seeking, I accidently opened some lady's changing room yelling "Got you!". She screamed and you get the rest.

[QUOTE=Kabstrac;36995916]empty your bowels in the morning? change your diet? those might help, but idk what you're currently doing[/QUOTE] I'm not sure what I was doing either. All I know is that it caused a horrendous smell and a Reaper to leave my arse everytime it happened [editline]30th July 2012[/editline] There was this one time earlier this year I was having one of my daily wanks, and all was well, following standard procedure. Next thing I know the power goes off. Well shit, there goes the porn, it was up to good old imagination to see me through this one. So I decide that I should speed up the end of this wank to avoid possible awkward situations. So I begin to turbo-fap as you may say. And I hear my sister on the move. I go "Shit powers off she'll come in here. That's okay, i'll hide my porn and wank when she's gone." Then I remembered the power is off which means no tabs because the computer is off. I instantly panic, still turbo-fapping and I'm about to fire the cannon when the door opens. She was like "Hey powers off so i thought i'd talk to you for a bit". Took two minutes to get her to fuck off, all the while I was lying across my bed and computer chair, mostly covered by my bedsheets, which was the last line of defence before my Admiral went on display. Could not finish that fap because for me it was really awkward. Thankfully she was none the wiser. I now watch the door and keep my cursor on another window to try and avoid possible disasters in the future.

[QUOTE=Kirbunny431;36983590]This isn't really embarrassing, only slightly. So, in 9th grade, I'd just finished taking my science exam. The test was on the computer, and I'd finished pretty quickly compared to everyone else. So I had like a bunch of free time before the half day ended and Thanksgiving break began. Considering all of the good game websites were blocked, I decided to browse the Internet. I considered checking FP, but the format is slightly broken in Internet Explorer (why our school uses that I'll never know), and there were no threads I was interested in at the time. Instead, I opted to browse TVTropes. More specifically, I was reading a lengthy series of posts on the many bugs in Zelda: Ocarina of Time and how they made it possible to beat the whole game in about an hour. So I'm reading it with great interest, and suddenly I hear my science teacher say from behind me, "That's gotta be the geekiest thing I've ever read over someone's shoulder." He's a bit of a geek himself, so he was just saying it jokingly. But still, I was a tad embarrassed that he took the time to read everything I was reading, about all of the ways you can cheat in Zelda.[/QUOTE] In my literature class during the last few weeks of High School, my friend brought his laptop. We read Warhammer 40k rulebooks in the middle of class. The teacher caught us, but when she looked at the screen, it was only text. (thankfully a page with no illustrations) She told us to pay attention in class and to stop working on other schoolwork.

When I was about 5-6, My mom took me to our usual church on Sunday. After about 45 minutes of the service, they began to have a moment of silence for something that had happened in our town. During the silence, I could hear a fire truck with it's siren on roaring down the street. Me, being the dumb shit I was, decided to announce it's presence to everyone in the church, but apparently my prununciation skills weren't too sharp, and I shouted "[B]FIRE FUCK! FIRE FUCK![/B] It's a fire [B]FUCK![/B]" Everyone looked at me and my mom and I don't think I've ever seen her so embarrassed (I'm 5 so I didn't understand what was so bad about it since I had not learned about any of those words).

A good friend of mine invited me to her church for her Wednesday youth group thing. After pushing through the awkwardness of giving her hand written map to my father, who then realized I was going for a girl because of her handwriting, prompted a high five. I honestly wasn't entirely sure why she wanted me there, which was why I was going. My father, proceeded to tell my mother, from whom I had to fight my way through a barrage of questions. (She has an utter fascination with any interaction I have with a girl as if I'm still 8 years old) I arrive almost an hour early, and almost no one is there, except for a deaf woman and her children, who are younger than at most 7. These children had to translate my situation (I was invited to a youth group by a friend, do you know anyone who knows more about it?) Shen then proceeded to jacket herself and her kids, lead me to the adjacent building, (The church had two buildings, one that was the church and an adjacent gym) to the pastor who was there, who then led me back to the gym building I had started in. As people drop in, the young children express an excited bewilderment at my presence. A semi-elderly woman (maybe her late 50's) starts to chat with me a bit, our conversation ends, and I begin stepping 8 to 5 around the basket ball court lines. (Kinda fitting, as I'm wearing my school Band jacket, although my name's embroidered on it, so it was kinda hard not to spot me.) I feel nervous and in an alien world of community and piety, two things I've kept away from. She then asks me to help move some tables. When we're done, one of the member's of my friend's group arrives, and is the first person I've seen there that's about my age. I approach her and ask her about the youth groups and she goes. "Oh, you're X's friend right? I've heard about you, we don't start for another 10 minutes." I'm now confused by this statement that my friend has spoken about me to other people. Our relationship consisted mostly of bickering over music and religion, but in friendship of sorts. I nervously take a seat in the group's room, and begin meeting other people who are friendly and nice, again, making me feel out of place. As I'm talking to someone who jokingly pities me for being her friend I hear a cheerful "Hello XX.". I turn and my pious friend has arrived in a musically noted scarf. The group leader arrives, and things being to settle down, there are around twenty people in the room all teenagers and some adolescents, I sit in the back row, my friend sits in the next row up. The meeting begins, and I silently sit there and observe until it is publicly announced that I am here, in which I nod and say hello. After some formalities are over, there's a prayer, I sit and hope that I'm not asked anything of, and when it is time to pray, I clasp my hands and bow my head with closed eyes until it's over. I haven't prayed since I was 6 or 7, so I barely remember how do do it. The evening proceeds on without incident, I have a short conversation with my friend, and am picked up shortly after. I remember this night so vividly as it was also the day I got my Geforce 550ti. This next part really belongs in the social advice/girlfriends thread, but I thought I should put it in anyway, it's spoiler tagged for those who don't really care. [sp]I endlessly analyzed the significance to my friend the happenings of that evening, however, as I analyze it this night, it occurs to me it's all irrelevant as she has moved to North Carolina, I'll never know what she really thought of me, she'll never know what I thought of her. But alas, I continue on.[/sp]

I used to have this job at a local chain. One of my coworkers was really cute so I tried to ask her out. She said she already had a boyfriend and then I said "Well when you're finished with him let me know!" and immediately skedaddled. I was called a douchebag at work for a couple of weeks afterwards. [editline]29th July 2012[/editline] and not me, but my brother managed to break my parent's garage three separate times. Blamed me one time, my sister another. I guess he was resigned to the fact he was totally boned the third time :v:

[QUOTE=AlphaWeapon;36936489] Two hits on dat and ohhhhhhhh man everything went numb and pretty sky and everything. So there I am, stoned the fuck out from two single hits (first timer and he later admitted that there was some kind of acid in there I don't fucking know)[/QUOTE] heat destroys lsd very easily so yeah it was probably just some chronic that fucked you up (most people don't get high their first time though)

As a younger kid, I always had a bad habit of picking my nose in my room and smearing my nasty boogers all over my bedroom wall. I mean, honestly, who didn't do that shit back in the day? My dad made fun of me and gave me a lot of shit for it, but I didn't really care and continued on with my ways. Anyways, getting to the main story, during my tenth birthday party (I rarely had friends over), my younger sister decided to tell all my friends about my booger habits and embarrassed as I was, I quickly ran the fuck back to my room and just clawed and scraped all the little mother fuckers I could find on my wall with my bare hands. I stopped smearing my boogers on my bedroom walls after that birthday.

At university. Math class finishes, gotta go take a piss urgently, storm into the bathroom and into a stall, nobody in the bathroom. taking a piss, minding my business, suddenly hear the voice of my math teacher (a woman). "Lol did this bitch just got into the men's room?". finish taking the piss, get out of stall, "Huh, no urinals", teacher tlaking on the phone in front of the mirror, "wait wut... did I just", open the door, saw the sign, teacher staring at me, "Women's", I just let out a "Oh shit", teacher burst laughing loud as fuck, two girls right outside the bath stare at me awkwardly. I took a long and loud piss in the women's bathroom of my small university campus of 400 students.

A lot of my embarrassing moments happened to me when I was in sixth grade. This girl I liked was told by one of her friends that I liked her, and apparently she liked me to, so one day in my geography class she sat down in an empty seat in front of me and said hi. There was a bit of an awkward silence after that so I said the first thing that came to my mind: "aren't you (name here)'s brother?" She said "uh haha no I'm his sister." I thought I had said sister instead of brother, so what she said really caught me off guard and confused me. I tried to process what just happened for a few minutes, and by the time I had figured it out she had already left and went back to her seat. I do a creepy thousand-yard stare whenever I think really hard, so I figured I scared her away. For the rest of the year whenever I tried to talk to her she would go away from me and she always was whispering to her friends about me. It was really awkward.

[QUOTE=Chicken Magnet;37002894] "aren't you (name here)'s brother?" She said "uh haha no I'm his sister." I thought I had said sister instead of brother, so what she said really caught me off guard and confused me. I tried to process what just happened for a few minutes, and by the time I had figured it out she had already left and went back to her seat. [/QUOTE] I did that last year when I was talking to a girl I liked. So embarrassing.

Was laying in bed with my ex (there was no other place to sleep at and we were the ones that don't mind sleeping on one bed). An other guy is on a separate bed in the room. It is all dark, but we are talking about various shit. The dude says:"Damn, my tooth hurts". I say: "Yeah, I know how teeth can hurt" And then my ex slaps me. I got like 10 slaps during that night. Mostly because I can't resist saying something about our sex life when there is a chance. The dude was laughing his ass off, I nearly died of laughter and the ex laughed too (because at the end she started joking this way too). But she was embarassed.

Just today I've accidently slapped my friends' crotch in the way I slap my GF's. Was slightly embarassed as it was kind of a reflexed move.

[QUOTE=Dark RaveN;37006022]Just today I've accidently slapped my friends' crotch in the way I slap my GF's. Was slightly embarassed as it was kind of a reflexed move.[/QUOTE] You slap your girlfriend's crotch? Wait, what?

[QUOTE=mp3karas;37006207]You slap your girlfriend's crotch? Wait, what?[/QUOTE] it makes her feel embarassed when i do it in public. this time, this thing of mine turned tables. I don't do it strong to make it hurt, just a bit of a harder than usual touch over there and she goes apeshit insane and gets all red from embarassment it turns me on (my fucked up brain fetish)

[QUOTE=Boaraes;36961922]When I was 12 I was visited my doctor's office for a check-up. Keep in mind, my doctor is one bangin-ass 28 year old chick. Seriously, she looks like a porn star. Anyway, she reaches for my balls and instead grabs my erect dick, and to be honest I came a little. She said "Oops, my bad" and grabs my balls and tells me to cough. When she pulls out her hand it's covered in my jizz and she instantly takes off the glove and throws it away with a shocked look on her face.[/QUOTE] Heh, reminds me of an English teacher we had. At the start of the year, we got this older dude who had some lung issues, I dunno. We nicknamed him Darth, you can probably guess why at this point. Anyways, he got something bad, we lost him. Fast forward to a few weeks later and we're told that hey, you've got a teacher! We're standing outside the classroom wondering what he/she's gonna be like. Enter our teacher. Couldn't have been much older than 25 at most, blond hair, blue eyes (we have a half German kid in our class so predictable jokes ahoy), long legs (combined with a skirt, always nice) and a fairly low cut top. Sadly this didn't transfer well to her personality. She was, to put it gently, not a very pleasant person. I get sent out because I decided to be a smartass, the reason I shall never know. I say 'fuck this, I've got a 45 minute break after this, I'm going to get a snack at the supermarket'. I walk out the building and my phone rings. It wasn't a number I knew but I picked up to the voice of a class mate telling me to 'fucking hide, she's coming for you'. I look behind me (we have a catwalk between the 2 buildings, which was the fastest way to where I SHOULD have been at the time) and lo and behold, she's actually moving there and I speed up a little bit. Fast forward to about 3 hours later, I'm in the library and suddenly she wants to talk to me. Long story short, she starts off being slightly friendly but quickly resumes with her aloof ways and finds out that I'm pretty good at English so I get to help her in the lessons while barely doing shit. Sounds like a fair deal. We had one more lesson and she vanished after that. How does this relate to your story? One of my classmates later oh so subtly remarked 'that's not a teacher, that's a porn star'. How is this embarrassing, you ask? Remember the low-cut top I mentioned? I didn't just bring that up because it made a smashing impression on the class but also because of the conversation we had later. Yeah, that wouldn't have been that bad if she had small boobs. Which she didn't. In fact, quite the opposite. Now picture a dude of 6'3 tall having a conversation with this woman, whose head maybe reached my sternum and you can probably imagine, besides a sore neck, the amount of concentration a conversation with this dame for 10-15 minutes requires.

[QUOTE=Dark RaveN;37006350][b]it makes her feel embarassed when i do it in public.[/b] this time, this thing of mine turned tables. I don't do it strong to make it hurt, just a bit of a harder than usual touch over there and she goes apeshit insane and gets all red from embarassment it turns me on (my fucked up brain fetish)[/QUOTE] i uh what, thats not normal, do you get any weird looks from people when you do it?

[QUOTE=Dark RaveN;37006350]it makes her feel embarassed when i do it in public. this time, this thing of mine turned tables. I don't do it strong to make it hurt, just a bit of a harder than usual touch over there and she goes apeshit insane and gets all red from embarassment it turns me on (my fucked up brain fetish)[/QUOTE] It doesn't seem like she enjoys it. Excuse the rudeness, but what the fuck man?

[QUOTE=ashton93;37006531]i uh what, thats not normal, do you get any weird looks from people when you do it?[/QUOTE] im not full retard enough to do it when people look at me. i guess you guys wont understand this, this is sort of an insider thing we have with eachother.

[QUOTE=Dark RaveN;37006718]im not full retard enough to do it when people look at me. i guess you guys wont understand this, this is sort of an insider thing we have with eachother.[/QUOTE] Who the fuck on Earth would want their reproduction organs slapped because it's an insider thing and only pleasure for one person? I don't get it, and boy I DO NOT want to get it.

criticising anonymous users over the internet can we please get over this offtopic debate and move on?

It's their thing. Just stop with the criticism over some private thing. You guys don't even know them to make such assumptions as "you're hurting her, hurh hurh hurh, you're weird". Grow up.

[QUOTE=cccritical;36838343]All of these nosebleed stories remind me of freshman year. I got a nosebleed about once every other week and it usually wasn't a very big deal. I had this total dick of a Health coach though, he was this massive hambeast that always tried to make the guys look gay and always hit on the girls. One day blood started spurting out of my nose, on the table, everywhere, it was a few months into the class and I literally hadn't said a word, only knew two other people in it, so I get up and grab a tissue and start to walk out. He's like "woah is your nose bleeding" and I say, "yeah, I get nosebleeds like, [i]once a month[/i]" to this day I don't know if the class reacted to it or not, I hope nobody made the connection but I'll never know[/QUOTE] Yer that sort of happened to me i was in English with a fucking retarded teacher, and i start getting a nose bleed not even a bad one and she shits herself and tells me to go to the medic room immediately (i got about 5 friends out of class to come with me as she thought it was serious) anyway on my way out i here one of my mates say "is he going to die?" as a joke and she replied "I'm not sure" she was such a fucking mong

I frequently get nose-bleeds and then sneeze for no reason, it's horrible, i always get them in the worst situations Like one time i was at my friends house and i was stroking his cat, he went to the bathroom, while he was gone, i suddenly get a nosebleed and sneeze all over his white cat, it runs away and i try to catch it so i can clean it somehow, he comes back to see me trying to me trying to catch his blood covered cat and yells "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING BITCH", i panic, get up and then sneeze again, this time all over him, he tells me to get the fuck out so he can clean up, we still laugh about it to this day. And one time i was was in an exam for math and the inevitable nose-bleed had come around, i didn't know about it until my nose starts to itch, then the person to my right says "Ethan... your nose... it's bleeding", i look back down to see blood on my paper, i shout "FUCK" and then furiously sneeze on my paper, every eye in the room is directed at me and while choking back tears i say sorry. My friend and i then get kicked out of the exam for talking, but i manage to explain the the administrator that i have nose-bleeds and my friend was telling me about it, then we get our exam moved to a different date. i got a B and did another exam to hopefully get an A, still waiting on the result next month