Embarrassing Situations Thread V1.0 - Oh, the shame! - General

This one is old, but thread lacks funny. Me, my brothers and mother were watching tv at night. Commercial break, waiting for the show to go on. All of the sudden, porn commercials come on, and now a short time, the entire time. After a short silence, me and my youngesth older brother start laughing like fuck.

[QUOTE=Kirbyfactor;39563566]This one is old, but thread lacks funny. Me, my brothers and mother were watching tv at night. Commercial break, waiting for the show to go on. All of the sudden, porn commercials come on, and now a short time, the entire time. After a short silence, me and my [b]younger older brother[/b] start laughing like fuck.[/QUOTE] That's. I... wha...

[QUOTE=pansarkurt;39563748]That's. I... wha...[/QUOTE] both of my brothers are older then me, but one is younger then the other. youngest older brother. Kinda confusing, Ill fix it.

Today while enjoying a breakfast burrito with my coworker Tom, we were chatting aimlessly when our marketing manager walks into the break room with a couple people from her department. Our marketing manager is young and cute; late 20's, excellent figure, great laugh, this girl is the complete package. I say hi and smile as she walks over, and as she gets closer she realizes that I have this dank breakfast burrito in my hands. Her eyes widen and she snatches it out of my hands, and before I can say anything she's taken a [b]huge[/b] bite (she quite literally opened her jaw to capacity and jammed the thing in), and proceeds to moan loudly at the deliciousness. I'm so completely slackjawed and confused at this point that I just look at Tom, who raises his eyebrows and says, "Fucking bath salts, man." My abs hurt I was laughing so bad.

[QUOTE=Kirbyfactor;39563901]both of my brothers are older then me, but one is younger then the other. youngest older brother. Kinda confusing, Ill fix it.[/QUOTE] I have that. It's a bitch trying to casually be specific about the younger one. Always end up having to explain everything and tell whoever I'm talking to their names.

Why not just say 'Brother'. I can't see many circumstances where their ages relative to you is required information.

[QUOTE=Kenneth;39564917]Why not just say 'Brother'. I can't see many circumstances where their ages relative to you is required information.[/QUOTE] Because sometimes you have to specify one of them? Because sometimes you're talking about both of them? [i]Because I want to?[/i]

One time in Bologna I attempted to cross a creek and fell in (I don't quite know what I was thinking). Anyway, I put my socks on a nearby fence to dry and IMMEDIATELY a large cow goes over to it and starts licking it. Friend laughs ass off and temporarily forgets how to english while I try to shoo the cow away.

When I was a kid my brother told me: "lol, do you masturbate?" I started running around my house screaming "I MASTURBATE" I was just watching the TV

i was at a film event chatting to some friends and i picked up a biscuit during the networking part and ten some girl with bright orange hair came over and didn't even say anything took a massive bite out my biscuit and i'm standing there holding this biscuit like "what" as she went away. not embarrassing but similar to burrito story

[QUOTE=cueballv2themax;39573135]i was at a film event chatting to some friends and i picked up a biscuit during the networking part and ten some girl with bright orange hair came over and didn't even say anything took a massive bite out my biscuit and i'm standing there holding this biscuit like "what" as she went away. not embarrassing but similar to burrito story[/QUOTE] Lol bath salts

[QUOTE=cueballv2themax;39573135]i was at a film event chatting to some friends and i picked up a biscuit during the networking part and ten some girl with bright orange hair came over and didn't even say anything took a massive bite out my biscuit and i'm standing there holding this biscuit like "what" as she went away. not embarrassing but similar to burrito story[/QUOTE] You have the weirdest luck with women. It's like some kind of bizarre mixture of bad and good.

[QUOTE=PollytheParrot;39573674]Lol bath salts[/QUOTE] She had the wildest look in her eyes. I mean, I chat with her from time to time and we're friends I guess, but that's the first time she's done anything remotely sexual to me, and I KNOW that couldn't have just been a coincidence. That was a damn big burrito and she really jammed it in there. And the moaning, man. You had to hear it.

Laughing my ass off at this video, tears streaming down face, can't see properly, go to send the link to my friend, click wrong person, end up sending this to a poor girl who we can safely say is no longer on my friends list [URL="https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=607037895989555&set=vb.100000500502933&type=2&theater"]https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=607037895989555&set=vb.100000500502933&type=2&theater[/URL] [editline] 13th February 2013 [/editline] Sent the video to my friend anyway, he threw up into his coke.

When i was around 7, i thought orgasm was a nice word for fart. Told my mom i kept having orgasms and that i had a stomach ache.

[QUOTE=Aetna;39576431]She had the wildest look in her eyes. I mean, I chat with her from time to time and we're friends I guess, [B]but that's the first time she's done anything remotely sexual to me, and I KNOW that couldn't have just been a coincidence[/B]. That was a damn big burrito and she really jammed it in there. And the moaning, man. You had to hear it.[/QUOTE] Yeah well don't assume anything. That's how sexual harassment lawsuits start

I was going to say hi to a girl I've been kind of crushing on lately, but I don't think she heard me. So I tried to play it off like there were other people behind her, but there wasn't. Now that I think about it she probably just ignored me.

[QUOTE=Shark Cat;39576924]Laughing my ass off at this video, tears streaming down face, can't see properly, go to send the link to my friend, click wrong person, end up sending this to a poor girl who we can safely say is no longer on my friends list [URL="https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=607037895989555&set=vb.100000500502933&type=2&theater"]https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=607037895989555&set=vb.100000500502933&type=2&theater[/URL] [editline] 13th February 2013 [/editline] Sent the video to my friend anyway, he threw up into his coke.[/QUOTE] Facebook made the video unavailable. What was it?

having sex wit the gf and then a parent walks in hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggghhhhhhhhhh

[QUOTE=Lijitsu;39575725]You have the weirdest luck with women. It's like some kind of bizarre mixture of bad and good.[/QUOTE] with an overwhelming shift towards bad

[QUOTE=PollytheParrot;39579280]Yeah well don't assume anything. That's how sexual harassment lawsuits start[/QUOTE] I'm not stupid, she's married anyways.

Hanging out with my girlfriend. Her dad is a hilarious, nice guy, but is like borderline stereotypical tall intimidating gruff Italian father. GF and I are chatting with her parents on the couch and she laughs at something and leans over into my lap. I reach my arm around her to just half-hug her. Dad is watching. Immediately realize I have my palm placed squarely on her buttock. Nothing happened and I'm not sure he noticed but there was that brief second of "oh gf you're grea[I]ohgod I'm grabbing her buttcheek and her dad's right there and he could beat the shit out of me[/I]" before I moved my hand as quickly as possible

cannibal.

[QUOTE=Clovernoodle;39581461]Hanging out with my girlfriend. Her dad is a hilarious, nice guy, but is like borderline stereotypical tall intimidating gruff Italian father. GF and I are chatting with her parents on the couch and she laughs at something and leans over into my lap. I reach my arm around her to just half-hug her. Dad is watching. Immediately realize I have my palm placed squarely on her buttock. Nothing happened and I'm not sure he noticed but there was that brief second of "oh gf you're grea[I]ohgod I'm grabbing her buttcheek and her dad's right there and he could beat the shit out of me[/I]" before I moved my hand as quickly as possible[/QUOTE] My VERY CLOSE PLATONIC FRIEND'S dad is a former USMC, drives heavy vehicles, and goes hunting every Tuesday when hes not building construction sites. When I came over to her house, he's like "Howdy, son, what's that cologne you got on? Sure smells like an aphrodisiac, do you think my daughters pretty? I'm watching you, kid. By the way there's coffee ready in the maker and you can help yourself! I'm going out to buy some snacks!!" Cheeriest fucking Gulf War veteran.

[QUOTE=Clovernoodle;39581461]Hanging out with my girlfriend. Her dad is a hilarious, nice guy, but is like borderline stereotypical tall intimidating gruff Italian father. GF and I are chatting with her parents on the couch and she laughs at something and leans over into my lap. I reach my arm around her to just half-hug her. Dad is watching. Immediately realize I have my palm placed squarely on her buttock. Nothing happened and I'm not sure he noticed but there was that brief second of "oh gf you're grea[I]ohgod I'm grabbing her buttcheek and her dad's right there and he could beat the shit out of me[/I]" before I moved my hand as quickly as possible[/QUOTE] When I first starting dating my ex and her mom grew comfortable with me, I began frequenting their house in the evenings. I clearly remember maybe 2 months into our relationship, I was laying on their couch with my head in her lap and my feet on the armrest. Her dad walks into the room (I'd yet to form a relationship with him), and he looks over and sees me sprawled out on the couch. "Oh, are you comfortable?" He asked. Me, being the clueless little shit I was, said, "Yeah! I'm great, thanks." His brow furrowed and he sneered, "Would you like a drink, too?" At this point his tone started to sink in a little and I replied, confused, "No, I'm good?" "Get your fucking feet off of my furniture."

This was posted in the Sex, Girlfriends and Shit thread. About a date and an anal fantasy girl. We had our usual date thing first. Went to see some theatre thing down the street. Ate in some chicken restaurant. This whole time, I'm feeling queasy, nervous and sweating as heck because I haven't told her that I don't want to get drilled. My back is just a big wet patch of sweat although I'm wearing a jacket and it's freezing as fuck. She's assuming throughout the date that I 've agreed to this whole shove-a-dildo-up-my-bum thing. Whole sex act is in spoilers. [sp]We both arrive at her house. She pulls me immediately through to her bedroom. She gives me an amazing blowjob. I'm shooting out cum and she swallows. She tells me to wait. I'm just lying down in her bed and all my muscles are contracting and my heartbeat is racing. Thought it was her normal purple dildo she'd pull out. Looks like she got some big strap-on vibrating dildo. Not even kidding. I know I can't do it and I immediately blurt out I can't. Takes me 30 minutes to talk some sense into this girl. She's really upset about this and what not. As Yahnich says, this girl's got some real anal fantasy going in on her fucked up head. She even cried. At this point, I'm like, shit.. I can't, I really can't but she's fucking crying. I tell her, if she wants, she can give me a rimjob. In a matter of second, I'm spreading my ass cheeks and she's licking my dirty asshole. God why.. Feels awkward. I should be the one eating out hers but instead I'm receiving. 10 minutes later, she stops and wants me to bang her hard in both holes. After an hour or so, cumming three times, we both stop. Next morning, I go home.[/sp] This afternoon, she sent me a text saying she doesn't want to see me anymore from what happened last night. No loss. Not even sad to the slightest. I'm moving on.

[QUOTE=Deathhunter;39585694]This was posted in the Sex, Girlfriends and Shit thread. About a date and an anal fantasy girl. We had our usual date thing first. Went to see some theatre thing down the street. Ate in some chicken restaurant. This whole time, I'm feeling queasy, nervous and sweating as heck because I haven't told her that I don't want to get drilled. My back is just a big wet patch of sweat although I'm wearing a jacket and it's freezing as fuck. She's assuming throughout the date that I 've agreed to this whole shove-a-dildo-up-my-bum thing. Whole sex act is in spoilers. [sp]We both arrive at her house. She pulls me immediately through to her bedroom. She gives me an amazing blowjob. I'm shooting out cum and she swallows. She tells me to wait. I'm just lying down in her bed and all my muscles are contracting and my heartbeat is racing. Thought it was her normal purple dildo she'd pull out. Looks like she got some big strap-on vibrating dildo. Not even kidding. I know I can't do it and I immediately blurt out I can't. Takes me 30 minutes to talk some sense into this girl. She's really upset about this and what not. As Yahnich says, this girl's got some real anal fantasy going in on her fucked up head. She even cried. At this point, I'm like, shit.. I can't, I really can't but she's fucking crying. I tell her, if she wants, she can give me a rimjob. In a matter of second, I'm spreading my ass cheeks and she's licking my dirty asshole. God why.. Feels awkward. I should be the one eating out hers but instead I'm receiving. 10 minutes later, she stops and wants me to bang her hard in both holes. After an hour or so, cumming three times, we both stop. Next morning, I go home.[/sp] This afternoon, she sent me a text saying she doesn't want to see me anymore from what happened last night. No loss. Not even sad to the slightest. I'm moving on.[/QUOTE] These are the kind of things a man grows from.

[QUOTE=JumJum;39579706]Facebook made the video unavailable. What was it?[/QUOTE] A girl sitting on chocolate cake and farting, it's pretty fucking gross.

-snip-

[QUOTE=Clovernoodle;39581461]Hanging out with my girlfriend. Her dad is a hilarious, nice guy, but is like borderline stereotypical tall intimidating gruff Italian father. GF and I are chatting with her parents on the couch and she laughs at something and leans over into my lap. I reach my arm around her to just half-hug her. Dad is watching. Immediately realize I have my palm placed squarely on her buttock. Nothing happened and I'm not sure he noticed but there was that brief second of "oh gf you're grea[I]ohgod I'm grabbing her buttcheek and her dad's right there and he could beat the shit out of me[/I]" before I moved my hand as quickly as possible[/QUOTE] Update: brought it up with gf tonight. Turns out both her parents saw it plain as day, as well as my brief "ohshitohshitohshit" look. Her mom stifled laughter. Her dad just didn't respond. Upon bringing it up with the parents, her mom burst into laughter and, after describing how hilarious my reaction was, mentioned that gf did have a cute butt. I said that I didn't know how to respond to that comment. Her father replied, without looking up from his phone, "the best way would be not to at all." I agreed