Embarrassing Situations Thread V1.0 - Oh, the shame! - General

[QUOTE=Chessnut;37053335]What happened to the toothbrush? :v:[/QUOTE] I don't really know. I think after it was removed they threw it away.

[QUOTE=doctordarken;37054129]I don't really know. I think after it was removed they threw it away.[/QUOTE] it would have been hilarious if your dad had gone to the doctor that removed it and asked for the toothbrush to be returned

I believe I posted this a long time ago in a different thread, but I can't remember. One particularly hot summer day, I had some of the gnarliest shits I'd had in months. I'd eaten a ton of sushi the night before and my bowels were crying their dissent the entire day. I'd probably shat 4 or 5 times throughout the course of the day and my asshole was on fire. Anyways, the combination of the hot day and my volatile diarrhea kept causing my ass to secrete this foul mix of sweat/mucus/liquid nastiness that was causing me to wipe my ass at various times. When I finally got off of work I went to see my girlfriend. My plan was to take a shower at her place before we went anywhere, but I got to her place and lo and behold, today was one of the days that she was fired the fuck up and wanted to bone the second I got in. Naturally I wasn't going to turn down the offer, so, feeling a bit self conscious but confident we head upstairs, skip the foreplay and start boning. Again, this is a hot fucking day, at least 95 outside, the AC is off and we're upstairs in her closed room fucking away. I'm dripping with sweat, caught up in the heat of the moment. I'm blasting her as hard as I can from behind, grunting and groaning and watching the sweat roll off my arms and chest, some of it dripping on her ass and back. I begin to climax, and thrust as fast and as hard as I can. I yank out and bust all over her ass. It's at this moment that I realize that the sheets below her are splattered with something dark, almost like we'd been fucking while she was on her period or something. There was no blood on my dick, so I was a bit confused for a second until it clicked. The fluid my ass had been making all day had found its exit during our hot fuckfest, and had begun rolling down my balls and flinging its way off onto the bed. Mortified, I tried to think of a way to hide it from her, but alas, she turns around and looks at the bed and says, "What IS THAT?!" and before I can say a word she leaned down and sniffed the bed. Ah man. That was a day, indeed.

Not mine. [IMG]http://i.imgur.com/shN2o.png[/IMG]

[QUOTE=jaykray;37056512]Not mine. [IMG]http://i.imgur.com/shN2o.png[/IMG][/QUOTE] Still gets me everytime

One time in karate class we were doing these stretches, and I really had to fart. I tried like hell to hold it in, but once I bent over "BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT" Every single person in the class (Including adults) just stared and started laughing at me. I was 8 at the time, so I felt like shit.

Once at high school I tried to jump, swing off a door-frame and kick my friend in who was standing inside the doorway. I'd done it before, I was pretty athletic back then. But, the school being an old, dirty piece of shit was dusty as fuck; my fingers slipped and I fell flat on my back on the concrete, making a very loud SLAP as my head hit the deck. Everyone who was in the locker bay stopped what they were doing and looked up. Was more hilarious than embarrassing but it hurt like a bitch, huge egg on my head and I somehow pulled a muscle in my leg/groin area and couldn't walk properly for about a week.

Just had my urinary tract swabbed (most painful experience of my life) by a guy who lives in the same barracks as me. I can never look at him the same way again.

[QUOTE=InvaderNouga;37061031]Just had my urinary tract swabbed (most painful experience of my life) by a guy who lives in the same barracks as me. I can never look at him the same way again.[/QUOTE] I had this too, then they had to stick a little camera-hose-thing up in there to look for scar tissue. Thankfully I was sedated, but when I woke up, guess what? I had a boner. I think the nurses kept my family out of the room until it went away though, so kudos to them!

[QUOTE=InvaderNouga;37061031]Just had my urinary tract swabbed (most painful experience of my life) by a guy who lives in the same barracks as me. I can never look at him the same way again.[/QUOTE] oh god, i had something similar to that done a few months ago. i was afraid to pee for a few weeks afterward, i still cringe remembering how bad it hurt.

I have a few. 1. Science class, seventh grade. The teacher asks some question, and all in the midst of thos i'm having a Minecraft related daydream. She asks the question to me, and i mumble something about ravines and sand pillars. She's like "What?????", and all I can say to her is "Silverfish." Then, I start thinking that she should really add more light sources to the room or mobs will spawn, and then I understand that i'm in real life. 2. I was reallu stupid when I got my first musical instrument: an accordion. I started playing random shit. When I finished a collection of notes I called "flight of the pigeon", my mother amd I hear wierd noises coming from outside. It turned out to be the mating calls of a sparrow as he damced around his female, getting ready to fertilise some eggs. Just about the wierdest fucking moment of my life. 3. Swimming lessons. A kid throws up in the pool, and i'm the last one to notice.

[QUOTE=Metherat;37063287]I have a few. 1. Science class, seventh grade. The teacher asks some question, and all in the midst of thos i'm having a Minecraft related daydream. She asks the question to me, and i mumble something about ravines and sand pillars. She's like "What?????", and all I can say to her is "Silverfish." Then, I start thinking that she should really add more light sources to the room or mobs will spawn, and then I understand that i'm in real life.[/QUOTE] uhh got some issues?

We were having a graduation thing. I walked up to the front to get my award. For no particular reason, I got a boner. It was pretty weird.

I went to do a chestbump before a football game, just to get hyped. Ran across the field and jumped, collided with my friend that's about 40 pounds heavier than me, flipped completely horizontal in mid air, and landed flat on my back. Had massive swelling and pain for a month afterwards. Apparently the only one that saw it was an assistant coach, but still. Oh, and at graduation I wound up being directed to sit next to my ex-girlfriend. It was both awkward and hilarious, she accidentally tossed her phone on the floor onstage twice (we were both summas, so for the first half of the ceremony we wound up sitting onstage facing the audience) when it was otherwise completely silent, and then after somebody jokingly started tossing money onstage as they walked across to grab their diploma (four dollars, whoopdey doo), she literally got up to collect it.

[QUOTE=doctordarken;37046799]-toothbrush story-[/QUOTE] I suddenly feel better about everything that has ever happened to me.

In preschool, our teacher was a fat woman who would always wear those summer dresses that reach to the ground. During nap time one day, she stood next to me laying on the floor, conversing with another adult. I have no idea why I did this, but I inched my way up to get my head under her dress to look. In retrospect, I'm mortified to think that they probably noticed, especially since she appeared to have some sort of huge diaper on. [editline]3rd August 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Gubbinz96;36818381]I had a crappy little portable CD player, just takes the slightest prod and it stutters. One class I had it next to me and I was listening to it (wearing earphones), working on the assignment. The class is so silent and focused on their stuff. Everything was normal. Some reason or another I was in a phenomenally bad mood that day. The annoying shit of the class turns around and taps my wee lil CD player. It stutters and stammers and I got [i]angry[/i] and shouted [h2]FUCK OFF![/h2] Everyone looked at me like I had just kicked a baby.[/QUOTE] In history class, the teacher and I were on not-so-great terms. One of my stupid friends had a straw lid to a barrel or something and was using it as a "shield", and threw it at me during class. Without thinking I calmly responded "I will fucking murder you, Bob." barely five feet away from the teacher. He was sitting at the computer and didn't turn around. To this day I hold on to the hope he's just [i]really[/i] deaf.

At my high school graduation ceremony, the announcer messed up and skipped over someone's name in my row, thus screwing up the names of everyone else in the row. On that day, I graduated as Thomas Lindsey the third.

[QUOTE=BaCkStAbEr;36821087]Other time when I was little I was at the supermarket with my parents, and there was a broom in the cart, I started playing around with the cart and I ended up pushing everything, from cans to glass containers, with the broom off the shelf, the supermarket guys were nice and we didn't have to pay for anything.[/QUOTE] Oh gosh. My girlfriend and I went to see the A-Team remake. She got excited during the movie and stomped her feet or something, causing her to break her shoe. The movie theatre is a part of an outdoors mall, so we go into Bed Bath and Beyond and asked for tape. I get on my knee so she can put her foot and shoe there so I can tape it, and she ended up stumbling and knocking over an entire row of scented body lotion. The employees just [i]stared[/i]. They looked at us with their piercing, judging gazes until we picked it all up and left. We never went back.

Last wednesday I had to talk infront of about 80~ people, Not embarrasing, but man I was nervous!

Oh in Spanish class I was playing around with my crush and jokingly "napped" in her lap. One of those girly girls comes in and shouts "OH EM GEE ARE YOU TWO DATING?!" to which I respond without thinking "Yeah in my dreams." Luckily she just laughed it off but goddamn do I blush easily.

[QUOTE=Dr. Evilcop;37064375]Oh in Spanish class I was playing around with my crush and jokingly "napped" in her lap. One of those girly girls comes in and shouts "OH EM GEE ARE YOU TWO DATING?!" to which I respond without thinking "Yeah in my dreams." Luckily she just laughed it off but goddamn do I blush easily.[/QUOTE] That's actually a good response. Just don't rewind, or whatever.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;36862313]i know that feel bro i used to get light headed and hyperventilate from a phobia of needles, just hearing about anything related to shots/blood tests would trigger a reaction[/QUOTE] Boy, do I have a story for you then! So I get on this medicine Accutane, and the information booklet is actually a waiver form with three pages of side effects. You have to carry a card just to pick up your prescription of it, and get monthly blood tests. At these blood tests, you have to fill three vials of blood. They stick a needle in you with a vial of blood, then when you fill said vial, they pull it out, and snap a new vial in, all while the needle is still in you. I go to Kaiser and get sent to the blood taking area, which today has an overflow thing from the large amount of patients (it's just a desk and a chair), and a large lady is there to take my blood. She's talking to her "gurl" friends while doing this, not really paying attention. In between taking out the first vial and snapping the second one in, she accidentally smacks the fucking needle-vial-holding thing [i]while it's still fully inside my arm.[/i] [editline].[/editline] [url=http://image.ec21.com/image/dragonlandgroup/OF0011509094_1/Sell_vein_blood_taking_needle.jpg]One of these.[/url]

[QUOTE=Samiam22;36968790]That reminds me of when I was 12 and I went to the doctor. I thought I had gonad cancer, so what I had to do was go to the doctor and lie on the bed that they examine you on. I had to take down my pants and the doctor, who is about, oh I don't know, 50-60 years of age, feels up my balls for a minute or so. I didn't jizz or anything but god it was so awkward.[/QUOTE] I had to get a surgery to remove a polinidal cyst from my tailbone. I must have had at least four different doctors examine my ass. It's incredibly awkward when they ask "can you bend over more?" [QUOTE=Bomimo;37064621]That's actually a good response. Just don't rewind, or whatever.[/QUOTE] Doesn't matter much anyways, she doesn't talk to me anymore. It was quite heart breaking, but that's a story for another thread.

Getting a rock hard boner seconds before i get to my bus stop.

about 2 Months ago: Me and friend sittin in train to work. I gotta fart really bad. I try to silently release my fart. [B]BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT[/B] Loudest fart in my entire life. Friend is just smiling. In this moment, I look left, and I see this cute girl, looking at me, and laughing her ass off. I feel embarrassed. Suddently a FUCKING a foul stank crawls up my nose, but It was not my fart. My friend that bastard, still smiling like a madman, silently released his gas along with my loud as hell fart. That fucking ninja. Everyone thought that stank was coming from my fart.

One day in seventh grade we were allowed to work on computers with music so i plug headphones into the front port and start playing some music. Little did i realize everyone in the class could hear what i was listening to, atleast it wasn't a bad song.

[QUOTE=Silverspar;37065140]Getting a rock hard boner seconds before i get to my bus stop.[/QUOTE] Getting a rock hard boner from the vibrations on the bus, miss your stop because you're afraid to stand up.

So it was my close female friends birthday a while back and we were out in town. We all chipped in for a necklace thing and that was all good, but me being the little scamp that i am i had to get a more memorable present so i went to 'boots' (a popular British chemist) and got a vibrating dick ring. This was before the time of self service so i had to give this sex aid to a small indian woman on the other side of the counter eyeing me suspiciously. and it was pretty bad as it was the only thing i was buying. So then my buddy walks past and slaps me really hard on the arse and i yell out in alarm, alerting many of the customers and staff. so we give her the thing, tell her the story and stuff. Then i come round her house the next day and see her little brother playing with the little vibrating cock ring. :(

Since there are so many fart stories I figured I'd tell one of my own. I was sleeping over at one of my buddy's house, and his house is fucking small. But cozy. But it's like the size of a trailer, and as soon as you walk in the door, you can see his whole house. It's less than 100 sq. ft. I swear. Anyway sometimes in when I wake up in the morning, I am gassy as fuck. This was one of those mornings. My friend was fixing breakfast and his parents were in their room (next door) and I thought I'd let loose a nice quiet one, but nope it was one of those loud, long ass "[i]bbbbrrrrrrrrrrrr[/i]" farts. I could have sworn I heard some dishes in the kitchen rattle. Thank fuck his parents didn't say anything. I didn't want to leave the room for a good couple hours.

Stumbling over words in a speech, which happened last school year.