Embarrassing Situations Thread V1.0 - Oh, the shame! - General

[QUOTE=Sleepy Head;37065674]I could have sworn I heard some dishes in the kitchen rattle.[/QUOTE] Oh god, I laughed way too hard at this.

Two years ago, at my senior prom, I almost broke my leg. There was this huge marble spiral staircase and you had to descend it to get to the main floor. I had these dumb girl shoes and pantyhose on. The shoes were supposed to stay on by catching on the skin at the back of your heel, but I had the hose on, so they wouldn't stay on properly. So, my then boyfriend and I were descending the stairs when, almost halfway down, one of my shoes slipped off and tripped me. I pretty much crumpled on the spot and started sliding down the stairs. I finally was able to stop myself by grabbing the banister, but by that time I had already slid at least a dozen stairs. Everyone there saw and started laughing. T'was not fun. Oh, and [URL="http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.2054885209709.123188.1171945494&type=3"]this[/URL] is what my legs looked like afterwards. v:v:v

I swear there's a mysterious japanese tree/plant that gives you a boner. Everytime I walk past the chapel to go to the Hospital I pop a boner. It's so bad I have to go to my barracks immediately and get a jacket to wear. My captain walked by me one time while my flag was fully raised, I hope she didn't notice.

[QUOTE=InvaderNouga;37066495]I swear there's a mysterious japanese tree/plant that gives you a boner. Everytime I walk past the chapel to go to the Hospital I pop a boner. It's so bad I have to go to my barracks immediately and get a jacket to wear. My captain walked by me one time while my flag was fully raised, I hope she didn't notice.[/QUOTE] It could be the tree that smells of cum, when you walk past it maybe you're subconsciously reminded of ejaculations past, and getting a boner over it. [url]http://www.thefrisky.com/2010-04-12/a-tree-that-smells-like-semen/[/url]

One time, at the Student Union bar at my uni, I was very drunk and wearing a onesie. (It was onesie night, shut up). Late on in the evening, I was quite drunk, as it happens. A good looking girl says to me "Well, I'm going to go and snog the next guy I see.....". I look at her and utter the words "Good luck with that.", and continue drinking. Spent the rest of my night kicking my self.

A few nights ago some friends and I blazed a couple of super fat blunts at around 1 in the morning. I was lit the fuck up, I hadn't smoked all day and was half awake as it was. Naturally we were all hungry as fuck, so we headed out to our local taco shop (it's open 24/7, so we end up going there a lot). As always, I order a standard everyday breakfast burrito and a large soda. The thing about this place is that it's a hole-in-the-wall joint run by 4 or 5 hispanic gentleman that speak maybe 4 words of english each. They understand when we ask for an item on their menu, but if the order gets complicated they simply stare like you're some 3rd grade sperg with no brain. I swear to god, the most judgmental eyes on the face of the planet exist in that grimy little taco store. Those fuckers KNOW we're stoned. So anyways, my friend walks up after I order, glassy eyed, chinky as fuck, eyes so red it looks like he's been bombed with tear gas and he's grinning like a jackass from ear to ear. He slaps his hands on the counter and leans in, and before the cashier can speak he starts placing his order. "Yes, hi, hello, I'd like a breakfast burrito please, but I only want eggs... potato.... and add avocado. But I'm vegetarian, you have to understand, no mammals in the burrito. No mammals." and as he's saying "no mammals" (who the fuck even says that?) he's waving his arms in front of his chest like some sport ref. Instead of simply saying, "Breakfast burrito with no meat, add avocado". The whole time I'm standing there with the most apologetic look in my eyes hoping that the dude behind the counter can even comprehend his stoned ass. I swear to god those dudes spit in his food.

[QUOTE=Ultralast;37068729]No mammals[/QUOTE] That's genius.

This didn't happen to me but whatever. In our primary school there was this brick shed against the wall of the yard with a gap behind and a smaller wall about 3 foot high you could stand on. During break we used to play tag around here and go behind the shed to get away. Now, there was this short, fat kid who just used to go around the yard and attempt to play with the other kids. Today it was our turn. He runs up to us, climbs onto the wall and tries to run behind the shed. He then proceeds to get wedged into the gap and begins screaming like a banshee. This, of course, makes every kid on the yard come to investigate. So now there are 70 kids watching a flailing fat kid screaming for help. They are roaring with laughter and the teachers are coming onto the yard to see what is happening. One of my friends, seeing this as an opportunity to look like a hero to everyone, tries to pull the kid out. He eventually does, and the kid comes flying out and lands right on his chest. We eventually found out that he cracked 2 ribs and nearly suffocated because the kid was in shock and refused to get off him and crushed his lungs. The fat kid never escaped this had had to move schools a few months later out of embarrassment.

[QUOTE=jaykray;37069105]That's genius.[/QUOTE] That reminds me... One time the gang and I wandered into a McDonalds. There was maybe 6 of us and, as I quote, "stoned as a kite". As always, our appearance was painfully obvious that we'd been smoking, and as the cashiers glanced at us with disapproving eyes we decided what we were going to order. A while back we either came up with/heard of/saw the McChronic; you take a mcdouble, stuff a mchicken inside of it, and add barbecue sauce. It sounds foul but it's absolutely delicious if you can handle the ensuing bowel movements. McChronics became a regular thing for a while since they're cheap, and coupled with their $.79 large drink deal you have a fat meal for under $3. So I head up and order my mcdouble, mcchicken, and drink, and step aside for a friend to order his. He shambles up to the counter, stares at the menu with his hand on his chin (even though he KNEW already what he wanted), and as I'm watching him I see the invisible light bulb come to life over his head. His eyes widened a bit, and like a robot slowly rotated his head back down to the obviously disturbed cashier. "I'd uh, I'd like one MCCHRONIC TO GO, PLEASE." I was maybe 2 steps behind him and I lost my shit. I was laughing so hard. I quickly yanked him away and one of my other friends completed his order for him. He was absolutely bewildered as to why I'd removed him from the magical food dispensing counter until I explained that the McChronic was not an actual menu item.

I called my teacher "mom" once fuck my life

[QUOTE=Ultralast;37069613]That reminds me... One time the gang and I wandered into a McDonalds. There was maybe 6 of us and, as I quote, "stoned as a kite". As always, our appearance was painfully obvious that we'd been smoking, and as the cashiers glanced at us with disapproving eyes we decided what we were going to order. A while back we either came up with/heard of/saw the McChronic; you take a mcdouble, stuff a mchicken inside of it, and add barbecue sauce. It sounds foul but it's absolutely delicious if you can handle the ensuing bowel movements. McChronics became a regular thing for a while since they're cheap, and coupled with their $.79 large drink deal you have a fat meal for under $3. So I head up and order my mcdouble, mcchicken, and drink, and step aside for a friend to order his. He shambles up to the counter, stares at the menu with his hand on his chin (even though he KNEW already what he wanted), and as I'm watching him I see the invisible light bulb come to life over his head. His eyes widened a bit, and like a robot slowly rotated his head back down to the obviously disturbed cashier. "I'd uh, I'd like one MCCHRONIC TO GO, PLEASE." I was maybe 2 steps behind him and I lost my shit. I was laughing so hard. I quickly yanked him away and one of my other friends completed his order for him. He was absolutely bewildered as to why I'd removed him from the magical food dispensing counter until I explained that the McChronic was not an actual menu item.[/QUOTE] I thought that was called a McGangbang.

I hate it when you say something that you think'll be funny, and no one laughs and you just get an awkward silence.

[QUOTE=Cyberdan;37069602]fat kid story [/QUOTE] this reminds me of the time I went to Mcdonalds with my friends. You see, near our school we have a mcdonalds, there are two ways of getting to it, one by walking through this condo which required a key and the other was to go around the condo. My friends and I were pressed for time so we decided to go through the condo, we didn't have a key so we hopped a fence to get in, we walked through the carpark to the other side of the condo. When we got there we had to hop another fence (this one had spikes on top) there was also a guard patrolling the area so we had to do this quickly since we only had 2 minutes before he came to where we were. so the first two people jump the fence easily and start heading for some food, after them was this one "larger" kid. As you can guess he got stuck ontop of the fence, the rest of us couldn't get through because there were hedges blocking the rest of the fences. after a minute or so of laughing our asses off we heard a shout and then we saw the guard sprinting towards us. We used the fat kid to distract the guard as we ran through the gate that this one other guard was protecting but got distracted by the fact that there was a kid skewered on his fence [editline]4th August 2012[/editline] oh and once my friend and I got called into the head of year's office for going on record as the two people in the entire school that have bypassed the school firewall the most amount of times. We had to write an essay on why that was apparently a bad thing to do

My entire life from 6-14 was an embarrassing situation. Besides that, I once was in class, I think freshman year. I had to flatulate pretty badly and I knew it was gonna be loud. I was sittin next to my best friend, so i leaned over and whispered "I have to fart really badly". He leaned over and said "what..?". So I said it again, whispering quitely as to avoid anyone else hearing me. He again said "...what..?" This probably happened two more times. I finally got really upset and frustrated, and when he said "What" again, I turned to him and just burst out and YELLED "I HAVE TO FART REALLY BADLY" Of course, this caused quite an uproar in the class. I made direct eye contact with the redhead I had a crush on, just before she started to laugh at me. I got kicked out of that school, eventually. *Page King*

I've got one. I live in a small Scottish town, which is really more like a village, so if you want anything other than your weekly food shop you need to get a bus to the nearest big town. Now, I was on the bus on the way back from said town. The bus company that runs the route normally use your standard double-decked buses, but sometimes if they've not got enough to go round they use their premium buses, which have nice comfy seats, curtains and shit, but for some reason are /really/ close together. Like, your legs start to go numb. Now, when the bus arrived at my stop, me and a few other people stood up to get off, most of them rubbing their legs. Not me. I fell over and landed on my face. I got given weird looks as I got to my feet, but found that I couldn't stand. I ended up using the railings to drag myself off of the bus, my legs refusing to work, and collapsed off the bus stairs and onto the pavement, where I dragged myself to a bench and sat down until the feeling in my legs came back about five minutes later. All the while the bus driver and passengers just stared at me. Didn't say a word or ask if I was alright.

I can't believe all the crap I'm remembering now. A group of friends and I all dropped a couple tabs of acid each one summer evening. We started late, so the comeup didn't begin until around 10pm, so we all knew we were in for a sick one. Around 1 am we all decided that a walk was necessary as we'd been inside tripping out on god knows what for roughly 2 hours. We rambled around town enjoying the cold and the stars when we came across a shining beacon of amazing: 7-11. My friend Chris and I wandered in to buy a couple things. Chris was having a hard time making a selection (this might have been to him wearing sunglasses even though it was 1 am and we were in 711), so I snagged a coke, bought it, and waited for him near the door. There was already an old lady in line with a couple 12 packs of coke, and Chris simply declared, "EXCUSE ME, MISS." and slammed his monster down on the counter. Honestly it was pretty fucked up, she was old and carrying a 12 pack of coke in each hand at 1 in the morning, and here Chris is shoving past her like a total ass. I moved forward to pull him to the back of the line, but the old lady smiled and said it was fine. The cashier rang Chris up. "That'll be $2.30, please." Chris jammed one of his hands into his pocket and came out with a wad of dirty cash all crumpled in little balls mixed with candy wrappers and various acid-trip shenanigans he had collected over the past few hours. He literally sat and stared at the money in the palm of his hand for a solid minute before the guy behind the counter said, "Uh, it's that one." and pointed at one of the crumpled up 5's. Chris burst into laughter and said, "Why yes, yes it is!" and handed him the 5. The cashier straightened the bill out while Chris stood there with a huge grin of success on his face. The cashier handed him his receipt and change. Chris glanced at the receipt, glanced at the change, looked the cashier dead in the eye, and said "THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME EXACT CHANGE!" He then turned on his heel and proudly walked out the door.

About a month ago, I was visiting Germany on vacation. (I'm American.) I took four years of German in high school and can speak without too much of a problem. We were at BMW world in Munich. I go to buy a drink from this sort of concession stand. I put the drink on the counter and, without saying anything, the cashier begins speaking to me in English. I just think to myself, "Fucking hell, was it that obvious?". Lets just say, it worked wonders for my confidence trying not to seem like a tourist. Later, we went to this amusement park in Vienna. There was this ride that was designed to make you sick called Exstasy. About 4 people from our group of 20 throw up from it. One kid thew up while on the ride and it went all down his pants. We took the U-Bahn back to the hotel. The smell of vomit just overpowered everything on that train. On top of that, the motion from riding the U-Bahn made one kid sick and he threw up on the platform. Shortly after, another girl threw up due to the smell. Probably mortifying for the people who got sick but, it was still pretty embarrassing to be a part of the group. I can't imagine what other people thought about us.

Once me and my best friend were at football practice and my little brother joined the team and this was his first day. So when we were doing lap's. So while we were running just fine. My little brother 5 second's into it fell to the ground crying with a red face and would not move for 10 minutes.After my dad dragged him away everyone stared at me.

I once had to shit so bad I just ran into the nearest toilet. I got into one of the stalls, sat down and let loose one of the hugest dumps I've ever had. Halfway through I hear this woman start to talk to her kid. I messaged my friend "lol there's some woman in here with her kid wtf". A few minutes later, when I'm cleaning up, it slowly but surely hit me. I looked to my right, and lo and behold! A sanitary bin. Needless to say I NOPE'D the fuck out of there as soon as the coast was clear.

Oh, I vomited all over my teacher's shoes once when I was fourteen.

Euroscola 2012. I was sitting in the Parliament building in Strasbourg, France, on a excursion trip. And while inside, people were being streamed on a camera, and there were two huge TVs where we could see the stream. So, it happened that I was sitting in front of my classmate. She started to ask a question to one of the parliament members, while I was perfectly seen on the screen right above her to the right. Now, imagine you are being bored of the stupid lecture, looking overexhausted after a sleepless drinking night, scratching your chin, then you suddenly notice everyone fucking notices you and start laughing. Seriously, when I saw myself on the TV screen, I became more and more red and finally I just laughed out loud. People behind me followed me lead.

At some point in my classes, I would get boners for no reason. Once the bell would rang, I'd have to cover up my wiener with my backpack so people couldn't see. I would walk awkwardly. People were around all the time so I'd have to be a lucky guy in order for me to not get caught. Unfortunately, this would happen everyday at middle school.

[QUOTE=doomevil;37085087]At some point in my classes, I would get boners for no reason. Once the bell would rang, I'd have to cover up my wiener with my backpack so people couldn't see. I would walk awkwardly. People were around all the time so I'd have to be a lucky guy in order for me to not get caught. Unfortunately, this would happen everyday at middle school.[/QUOTE] That happens to me. A lot.

This was a number of years ago when I was still in high school. English was first thing in the morning and I just naturally get As in any English class, so I usually slept through it. Like, literally just fell asleep for the whole class. One day I fell asleep in a position that put pressure on artery in my wrist, which cut off circulation to...everything, really. I woke up an hour later and basically couldn't feel anything. I tried to get up and walk away like nothing was wrong and I bit the dust...hard.

[QUOTE=X6ZioN6X;37085297]That happens to me. A lot.[/QUOTE] puberty does that to you

My dad had a british gasmask some friend of his gave him during his early twenties, so I asked him if I could take it to school for a joint tech-history class where the teachers asked us to bring some piece of technology from some other country ( like a speaker or something I forgot at this point ) to look at how certain countries made things differently and about historical advancements in technology. He lets me, so when I grab it I notice it's extremely fucking hard to put inside my backpack and I didn't even think of bringing a bag. Note that it was winter during this event, so instead of being a normal little boy and carrying it on my hands or something I put it on ( it was pretty damn amazing inside, it felt like the damn thing was a greenhouse that kept the air on a perfect "not too hot not too cold" way ) and walk all the way to school. It was 8:00 AM and it was rainy, so picture a kid in full black clothing, with a large black backpack, black gloves with a skull pattern on it tracing the fingers and the hand... people out there gave me looks like I was a terrorist. I walked into school all classy, my classmates greeted me and said it was cool, etc. ( note that the doorman knew me and just nodded at me while I was walking in, considering I wear the same clothes every week ) We go into tech class, teacher greets us alright, looks at me funny for a second before realizing it's me and we start talking about our respective items ( we brought articles on them ) and the class goes on and on for 2hs30m. At some point near the end, me still having the gasmask with a cool greenhouse effect, the principal walks in and is talking all chill to the teacher before looking over the class and noticing me, reading a book all classy because the teacher let us have 30 mins free time for chattng, etc. The principal screams loudly, calling me a "fucking terrorist" and flips her shit before running away. I try to take it off to prove it's me and not a terorist or whatever the fuck and instead I end up tightening the leather straps, making the damn thing so much harder to take off. I tightened the straps so hard the damn thing was practically glued to my face and I felt really bad afterwards because it was the very first time someone yelled at me like this. To add even more to my shame, I was stuck with that gasmask on my face for the rest of the day, and everyone except for that damn principal was cool with it. Note that one of the kids brought in a russian ak47 with his mommy accompanying him and everyone was completely fucking alright with this. This happened in Argentina, by the way, and I was 11 while this happened. I was usually a quiet kid, so that was my first time ever being suspended/called out on ANYTHING. I still have a impression on the back of my neck because of how tight the damn thing was. BTW; I was wearing a british "bulldog" gasmask. I don't know the real name for it, but I'm sure as heck it was a Bulldog. Copypasted from another thread, but it was very embarassing for me.

When I had surgery 2 years ago, I was just after being resuscitated from anesthesia. I remember I was being rolled through the ward and my mum and dad were with me, along with two female nurses. I remember feeling someone squeezing my foot, and I said in the most seductive tone I could manage (and all I could manage at the time was some god-awful slurring of my words) "Nurse, are you fondling my foot?". Everyone laughed and then I realized it was my dad who was squeezing my foot, for reassurance. It was so embarrassing, because when I finally got my senses back, my parents told me about it. Dad said the nurse was totally cool with it though :v: Another time, just as I was being put to sleep, I saluted my dad and said "See you on the other side" in the most cliche'd, cheesy way possible. I haven't heard the end of it, my dad says it to me every time I tell him I've going to do something haha it was a drunken sort of salute. Terrible.

I was on holdays with my family near the sea. I went with my brother and his gf to the sea, they went swimming, and well, since I can't swim just decided to roll up my trousers and wet my feet. Some time later and few waves too high, we go back. I rolled the trousers down so they can dry faster. What a mistake it was. I noticed that when we were on our way I noticed that people give me the funny looks. Next thing I know is my brother telling me I should wash my trousers as soon as possible, I ask him "why?". I looked down and saw two giant patches of salt on my legs. So thing is I've going aroud town with two giant cum-like-stains on my legs. And another one, maybe not embarassing in retrospective, but i was at that time. So you read sometimes here about people saying: "I told something I thought was hillarious, but no one laughed" Well, to me happened the exact opposite. We were having English lesson, and our teacher asked us how in English, "Who are you going for a dinner with?". Since no one else in class bothered anwsering the question, I tried. And I fucked up. I said "who you are... balh blah." Now you ask, but what's so embarrasing about that? Well It happened to be one of the worst. Puns. [b]Ever.[/b] "who you" sounds exactly like"(ty) chuju" in Polish which means "(you) fucker" My whole clas started to laugh their asses off, took me actually a second to get it. It didn't help that back then I was actually kind of quiet and didn't swear a lot, so it came a surprise to a lot of people. Thankfully our teacher was cool so she let it slide.

[QUOTE=BananaMed;37088042]And another one, maybe not embarassing in retrospective, but i was at that time. So you read sometimes here about people saying: "I told something I thought was hillarious, but no one laughed" Well, to me happened the exact opposite. We were having English lesson, and our teacher asked us how in English, "Who are you going for a dinner with?". Since no one else in class bothered anwsering the question, I tried. And I fucked up. I said "who you are... balh blah." Now you ask, but what's so embarrasing about that? Well It happened to be one of the worst. Puns. [b]Ever.[/b] "who you" sounds exactly like"(ty) chuju" in Polish which means "(you) fucker" My whole clas started to laugh their asses off, took me actually a second to get it. It didn't help that back then I was actually kind of quiet and didn't swear a lot, so it came a surprise to a lot of people. Thankfully our teacher was cool so she let it slide.[/QUOTE] A little bit related: In my French IV class in high school, we had a unit on impressionism and we were each assigned a small speech where we took on the role of one of the impressionist artists and described who we are, what we do, and such. The only other male in the class (14 people, I was one of two dudes, it's not as good as it sounds since I'm awkward as shit) ends up saying what he paints as "I paint little girls, sometimes ones that dance and stuff." This becomes a running joke in class where we tack on "and I paint little girls" to the end of sentences for the rest of the year.

Oh god, I just remembered something. Back when I was 12 and I had to do that "Urethra Check" I talked about, I was put on the anesthetic. My doctor said "This stuff makes it so you cannot lie." He leans in real close and asks "what websites have you been on?" Of course, I couldn't really lie. I squeaked out "Nothing" but my voice and blushing gave it away. But of course he had to do this with my parents standing 5 feet away. Dammit doctor.