Embarrassing Situations Thread V1.0 - Oh, the shame!
4,449 replies, posted
When i was, like 12/13 i think (this is going back a decade), we had a cover teacher for Drama. Our regular teacher was sick I guess. She had huge breasts and was rearing a really tight shirt. Safe to say I got a massive erection. I managed to keep it hidden for a while until we had an exercise which required lying on the floor for some reason, my predicament became all too obvious. Cue hysterical laughter from the class. The humiliation was absolutely dreadful.
I was known as Mt. Kilimanjaro for a few weeks afterward.
After the class a girl asked if she could be my girlfriend.
[QUOTE=doomevil;37085087]At some point in my classes, I would get boners for no reason. Once the bell would rang, I'd have to cover up my wiener with my backpack so people couldn't see. I would walk awkwardly. People were around all the time so I'd have to be a lucky guy in order for me to not get caught.
Unfortunately, this would happen everyday at middle school.[/QUOTE]
I usually wear briefs so I can never relate to these boner stories. Every few days I did wear boxers but I never got a boner in them
One time in earlyish 8th grade, I had recently gone in for a tooth operation (I think it was a root canal) and they hopped me up on some pretty weird pain medications. I also had this weird arthritis that was caused by my immune system or something, and another side effect of it was that when my arthritis was acting up, I had really red eyes, as in stoner eyes. I also had a hobby where I would walk almost staggering, like emulating a drunken person walk. Whenever I'm bored and walking someplace, I do this drunken walk.
So here I walk into the middle of third period like a drunk, hopped up on pain meds and all goofy, with really red eyes. Everybody burst out laughing and I was sent to the principal, but it was quickly cleared up.
so last night as I was going to sleep I put on my 'Favs' playlist on my iPod dock. I fell asleep listening to it. So I go to my iPod this morning and see that the song 'Pussy' by R. Kelly and Jay-Z was paused. Which means my mother came in and heard this, and paused it.
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H02nfGtF36s[/media]
[QUOTE=LieutenantLeo;37092703]so last night as I was going to sleep I put on my 'Favs' playlist on my iPod dock. I fell asleep listening to it. So I go to my iPod this morning and see that the song 'Pussy' by R. Kelly and Jay-Z was paused. Which means my mother came in and heard this, and paused it.[/QUOTE]
Sounds like a hint :v:
Okay, time to write a marathon of awkwardly funny and embarrassing moments from my childhood.
Here's for starters: When I was like 2-3 y.o, (yolo LOLOLO ok sorry), me and my parents were using a taxi cab of our family friend's named Misha. At one moment, Misha saw cat crossing the road so he had to urgently stopped. Everyone were shocked at the sudden change of situation. I didn't lose my temper and exclaimed "Holy fucking hell, Misha! Why do you drive so bad?". Swearing at that age....
Also, I had a strange habit of touching my sister's friend's boobs at age 4-5. She had like 4-5 of girls coming up at her throughout the week and i touched them all. They were 15-16 at the time. :v:.
There was also this girl named Diana, who for some odd reason I hated so much I bit her once. And once upon a time, I had an opportunity, so I took a little yet heavy wooden statue and hit her in the head. She cried for 10 minutes and never came back.
One time, I was in a church with my aunt. 5 years old. I went up near the altar during the service and started acting like i had down syndrom, doing really awkward and fucked up gestures in attempt to mimic the priests. Everyone sadly gazed at my "poor" situation and sadly gazed back on my aunt. After the service was over, it was time for us to go, so I stood up and, like i was completely normal and nothing happened, went away. Everyone were shocked so much, even one of the old ladies went up to me and said that what I did was wrong. I enraged, gripped my aunt's clothes and asked her to lean over to me. "Darling, what's wrong?" "GIVE ME A PISTOL!!!" "...What? Why for?!" "SO I COULD KILL THAT UGLY LADY!!!". She was stunned and just stood there looking at me while my aunt took me out of the church.
I was a kind of aggressive and strong kid for my age. One time, me and two other boys went in an argument. I can't remember this, really, but as my dad told me (he observed the whole situation), I started to run away from them because they wanted to kick my ass. At one point of the chase, I just turned around and shouted "STOP!". They stopped, then I punched both in the face and ran away. They didn't talk to me anymore :(.
One time, on the street, I was with my granny. For some reason I didn't listen to her orders, and a old man went nearby. He saw me disobeying my granny, so he came up and said "Why are you such a bad boy you do not listen to your granny? Bad, bad boy!", to which I shouted "Old man, you're such an ass!". He shut up and went off with a weird face.
Last classic: One time I touched my cat's shit and thought it was chocolate, tho I didn't eat it.
EDIT: Oh, thanks to the cat story remembered another one: Once, I was guesting at mom's friends' house, where they had a terrier dog. It was like 8 years old, so it was quite old, yes. From words of my mother, dog didn't want to play with me so I angrily bit her tail. Her friend told her she was whining whole next week.
Last, but not least: When I wanted a toy so badly I went cry mode on my mother, even though I barely cried at all. She knew I was crying to get her attention and pity so she will do it, but she ignored me completely. After that I enraged again (i was such an angry kid to be honest) and bit my hand to the meat.
How is this thread successful but anonymous confessional wasn't
[QUOTE=GameDev;37094209]How is this thread successful but anonymous confessional wasn't[/QUOTE]
Why confess things anonymously when you can do it out in the open? I have nothing to be ashamed of what I posted, and what I don't post that means noone will ever hear it.
[QUOTE=GameDev;37094209]How is this thread successful but anonymous confessional wasn't[/QUOTE]
because people kept sending things that were obviously not true, and then spamming up the thread hinting at which ones they submitted
[QUOTE=Dark RaveN;37093296]I was a kind of aggressive and strong kid for my age. One time, me and two other boys went in an argument. I can't remember this, really, but as my dad told me (he observed the whole situation), I started to run away from them because they wanted to kick my ass. At one point of the chase, I just turned around and shouted "[B]STOP![/B]". They stopped, then I punched both in the face (= [B]HAMMER TIME![/B]) and ran away. They didn't talk to me anymore :(.
[/QUOTE]
Just curious by the way, have you become more polite with age?
This isn't really embarrassing, but it was still a bit funny. I was at my aunt and uncle's house for a holiday get-together, and me and my uncle were talking about guitars, and I had mentioned how I found it kinda ironic that he prefers Fenders, since his surname is Gibson. "Well, the thing I dislike about the Gibsons is that they tend to have thicker necks, and it's easier to get my hand around a thinner neck." As he was saying this, my cousin's husband walks in, and stares at us in disbelief for a few seconds. "OH! Guitars!"
[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;37094274]I think anonymous confessional was pretty successful. People eventually run out of things to confess about. Embarrassing things, too.[/QUOTE]
I sure didn't
What I've said here isn't even the tip of the ice berg, mostly because you probably don't want to here the other stuff.
[QUOTE=BananaFoam;37100402]I sure didn't
What I've said here isn't even the tip of the ice berg, mostly because you probably don't want to here the other stuff.[/QUOTE]
Of course we do.
ITT
[IMG]http://nedroid.com/comics/2011-01-13-beartato-badmemories.png[/IMG]
[QUOTE=Dark RaveN;37094612]Why confess things anonymously when you can do it out in the open? I have nothing to be ashamed of what I posted, and what I don't post that means noone will ever hear it.[/QUOTE]
Sometimes I go deep into the woods and confess my utmost embarrassing things to the trees out loud. The sensation is great. In the middle of nature, who cares, right?
One time I happened to say out loud something embarrassing and I heard a lumberjack up on a tree "Hah, Faggot!".
I had to hunt him down and kill him with my bare hands.
-snip-
[QUOTE=ashxu;37104968]-snip-[/QUOTE]
Come on! Tell us!
you guys are fucked up, let me recall some shit
It was haloween three years ago, and my friends and I had just started smoking weed pretty regularly. This was back in the day when a bowl was a 1-hit quit; our tolerance was low and our young shiny faces chinked out. I was busy being a mopey sap in my friends room due to some girl rejecting me earlier that evening, and while I was busy whining to another girl on the phone I heard one of my friends take an exceptionally long bongrip right outside the window. Naturally, the ensuing coughs were atrocious. *AH-BLUGHHBHGHWHFWHFHNVCKKAKACUUWUHCC* In the midst of the noise, I hear one of my other friends start laughing and say, "Don't tase me bro!" and this was shortly followed by the sound of projectile vomit plapping onto the pavement.
God, the days of greening out are so long gone.
Alright, new one, happened today.
So, all my other co-workers had left the place for lunch, leaving me to run a 7-man business by myself. After answering a couple of calls, the warehouse-doorbell rang. I walked there, with no-one in sight. Then the front-door -doorbell rang. I ran there since it was quite far away. No-one there.
I came to the conclusion that the person was going door-to-door because nobody was opening them. So I ran as fast as I could back to the garage-door and quickly swung it open right into the face of the mailman about to press the doorbell again.
Thankfully nothing bad happened to him, he just took a few steps back and said "Ouch!" while I kept repeating "Sorry, sorry!" and took the packages from him. :v:
My senior grad-nite took place at Disneyland. It was a bomb night, the entire park had essentially transformed into a massive rave and I was surrounded by close friends and intoxicated teenagers. I myself decided to spend the night sober; a decision that I somewhat regret after watching the enjoyable experiences of my two close friends candy flipping next to me the entire night.
I was with my friends Katie, Dave, and Dax. Dave and Dax had both snuck in some acid and ecstasy to further enhance the rave/roller coaster setting of the night. Dave spared no expense, and popped a doublestack and a couple tabs to himself. Dax took the more tame approach and took only the ecstasy. While waiting in line for a roller coaster, I could see the effects starting to sink in. Dax, ordinarily a shy, introvert, reserved guy, was seemingly beaming with confidence, a huge smile ear to ear, and was busy chatting up 5 girls AT ONCE in line behind us. I was standing in awe, amazed at his success when Katie began tugging on my shirt and pointing at Dave. The drugs were hitting him hard; sweat was rolling off of his face like niagra falls and he was repeatedly running his hands through his hair. I could see the veins in his neck pumping furiously in rhythm to what was obviously a gnarly come-up. Dax was just making some headway with the girls when Dave turned directly towards them and vomited over the side of the railing. The look of horror on Dax's face was priceless. I have a picture of Dave's face immediately after it happened (with his permission to post it, surprisingly enough):
[IMG]http://s15.postimage.org/63p2ais3f/hahahaha.jpg[/IMG]
I remember one time in 7th grade, walking to next class from gym, i was walking and talking to a group of cute girls. At one point i was sort of ahead of them, so i turned around and walked backwards while i said something, and mid sentence my foot caught in a doorway where the floor tile turned into carpet. I instantly stumble backwards and collapse, getting laughed at by the group.
Fucking pride took a curb stomp.
Once in english class, (talking about age 12-ish class here/ happened years ago) anyway my teacher stands up and says "Put up your hand if you are Heterosexual"
I put up my hand, nobody else does besides the teacher cause everyone is fucking retarded and then they look at me like I've just said I was gay or something.
Awkward as hell even though he explained it to the dumbshits.
[QUOTE=GameDev;37094209]How is this thread successful but anonymous confessional wasn't[/QUOTE]
Exhibitionists.
So, earlier in this school year my one friend Adam promised me that he'd take me to Chik-Fil-A when he got his license. Well, yesterday we are were on our way to go when another friend, cassie, wants to chill. So we take a detour and go pick her up. He spends the next 15ish minutes driving there, all while having a conversation about the recent anti-gay shenanigans.... and then Cassie informs us that it is a sunday. We had to park in a random parking lot to cry. We felt like morons, fucking crazy Christians :(
Also, I'm moving away so we won't see eachother for awhile too
[QUOTE=Mooman;37113161]So, earlier in this school year my one friend Adam promised me that he'd take me to Chik-Fil-A when he got his license. Well, yesterday we are were on our way to go when another friend, cassie, wants to chill. So we take a detour and go pick her up. He spends the next 15ish minutes driving there, all while having a conversation about the recent anti-gay shenanigans.... and then Cassie informs us that it is a sunday. We had to park in a random parking lot to cry. We felt like morons, fucking crazy Christians :([/QUOTE]
That must have been awkward.
[QUOTE=Ultralast;37107114]It was haloween three years ago, and my friends and I had just started smoking weed pretty regularly. This was back in the day when a bowl was a 1-hit quit; our tolerance was low and our young shiny faces chinked out. I was busy being a mopey sap in my friends room due to some girl rejecting me earlier that evening, and while I was busy whining to another girl on the phone I heard one of my friends take an exceptionally long bongrip right outside the window. Naturally, the ensuing coughs were atrocious. *AH-BLUGHHBHGHWHFWHFHNVCKKAKACUUWUHCC* In the midst of the noise, I hear one of my other friends start laughing and say, "Don't tase me bro!" and this was shortly followed by the sound of projectile vomit plapping onto the pavement.
God, the days of greening out are so long gone.[/QUOTE]
Dude, is smoking weed all that you do?
A few weeks ago my friend was staying over at my house for the night, and around 4:00 am I just woke up to him beating off on the couch. He had rented some weird ass porno on demand. I asked him to throw a blanket over himself or something and he said "Dude, I'm about to finish", and he did. Oh god.
I don't care if he does it, I just don't want to see it.
It was a summer day. I was in the Youtube Poop chatroom when Baaulp told us to watch "Henderson Castration Tools" only upon having it in several tabs because he spammed the darn thing and I assumed they were seperate videos. Unknowing I had them in seperate tags. What I didn't know was that my mother was coming up the stairs, finding me watching a video of some guy using a drill to castrate the testicles off of a horse. I had it open in several tabs so no matter how I tried to close it, it just wouldn't go away. Because of that, my mom was disgusted and the only explanation I came up with was "This interests me!" hoping she'd get I was referring to the drill, but she assumed I was talking about the castration. So from this day forward, my mother thinks I have a fetish of having my balls being torn off by electrical equipment.
I can't live with that.
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