Embarrassing Situations Thread V1.0 - Oh, the shame! - General

No excuses for bullies to pull the shit they do.

[QUOTE=Cataclysmic_47;37235146]No excuses for bullies to pull the shit they do.[/QUOTE] The best defense is a good offense. "Yeah well, YOU DONT HAVE A GIRLFRIEND EITHER!" ;_;

[QUOTE=Aerkhan;37234953]the lady behind the counter smiled (laughter the first time) every damn time[/QUOTE] She wanted your dick.

Going to be honest, I have not learnt to tie my shoes until last month. Last year at school they had this big stupid fun day and one of the games they made us play in PE involved us untying our shoes, taking out the laces and then retying as fast as possible, I tried explaining to the teacher the problem and she practically screams, "WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO TIE YOUR SHOES?" [editline]14th August 2012[/editline] No one ever let that down.

Velcro shoes :science:

[QUOTE=ThePinkPanzer;37241757]Going to be honest, I have not learnt to tie my shoes until last month. Last year at school they had this big stupid fun day and one of the games they made us play in PE involved us untying our shoes, taking out the laces and then retying as fast as possible, I tried explaining to the teacher the problem and she practically screams, "WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO TIE YOUR SHOES?" [editline]14th August 2012[/editline] No one ever let that down.[/QUOTE] I laughed and then realised I can't tie my shoe laces either :v:

Football today: We're in a huddle, and the QB says that we can't mess up the count. He tells us an X-roll out on two. I oblige. He screams hut once, and I realize the mistake I'm about to make, but I can't stop, and I face-plant. The Fullback, who must have seen a butterfly or something, flies forward towards the gap I would be making, after seeing me fall forwards. He basically lands on me like we were doing it doggy style: [img]http://filesmelt.com/dl/oh_god_my_sides3.png[/img] (Forgive the shitty paint, I can't do this for crap) Coach made the fullback and I do 50 push ups, while the team made snide jokes about Jerry Sandusky, pointed at me asking if I wanted to be a tight end, and watching the shame on my face. Shit sucked man.

[QUOTE=JumJum;37241329]She wanted your dick.[/QUOTE] [IMG]http://ec-descartes-chateauroux.tice.ac-orleans-tours.fr/php5/descartes.jpg[/IMG]

[QUOTE=Nemisis116;37148206]I hate talking to the people when I go to buy something I just want to get my tic tacs/coke and leave, but they always have to be like "hi how are you going? oh is that all for today, here's your change, have a nice day" I'm just listening to my ipod tying to get in and out as fast as humanly possible I just end up standing there awkwardly murmuring something under my breath then walking away[/QUOTE] And this is that moment where you say thankyou and goodbye. How do your pockets even cope with the daily spaghetti?

I still sleep in my parent's bed and I'm almost 18. It's not really that I am afraid to sleep by myself. It's just that their bed is a plethora more comfortable than mine which is essentially a mattress on some plywood flooring. It's pretty weird.. I've never known anyone that's done it and nobody knows but me. I want to get over it, but something just keeps forcing me to sleep in my parent's room as opposed to my own. It's like an addiction. It hasn't made me socially awkward or anything. I'm a completely normal guy with a pretty average sexual life. Whenever my friends are over, I sleep in my own bed and usually get as much sleep as I would in my parent's. [b]Edit:[/b] Then again, my father uses my bedroom as an Office pretty much so I guess it's justified in a way. He sleeps up there a lot, too.

Once I was riding my bike on a sorta-back road (not dirt but not very well used). On the way to where I was going there was some paving crews laying next to the road taking a break or something, so I just rode past them. Then, on the way back, they were actually doing work. They were apparently laying oil-and-stone (oil layer and a stone layer, cheaper than asphalt) and I didn't notice it, it just looked like regular road. They had neglected to put up any warning signs, so I rode full speed right through the center of the road they were paving and made it half of the way through before I'd realized that it wasn't road. I then rode off as fast as possible to avoid them capturing me and beating me up for all the work I'd just caused :v:

I've got a recent one, but my roommate's story takes the cake. I'll get mine out of the way first A few days ago I had my first driving lesson with an instructor. I've supposed to have done it months ago but I never really got around to getting my permit. So I get dropped off at the parking lot where I'm supposed to meet up with the instructor in a marked student driver car. I wait for about 15 minutes before I realize that there's this little Toyota with the words student driver written badly in what looks like fingerpaint. I go over to the car, only to find my instuctor, a short rotund Puerto-Rican man in his mid-late 40's asleep in the driver's seat. I knocked on the window, and he wakes up. Without missing a beat the guy rolled (I'm not exaggerating, the man rotated 360 degrees) over the divide between the two seats and settled comfortably in his new-found home. "come on een." I climbed into the drivers seat and started the car. He pulls out a pair of aviators (seemingly from thin air) and slides them on without making eye contact, "lez roll." Things went pretty well, I learned he moved here a few years back, and that he loved his job. At first I couldn't tell why, but then something truly stunning happened. He was looking out the window when he raised his hand and said "ease up my friend." I did, him being the instructor and all I thought I must have been doing something wrong. He then proceeded to use the instructor break pedal to slow the car even more, rolled down his window and proceeded to peak his head out and call "AYE, HOW YOU DOING MAMMI?" to some girl walking along the road. My head violently turns towards him in shock only to hear him tell me "Keep your eyes on the road my friend, this is my job." I sped up to get as much distance between him and her as safely possible. He was a little pieved, but he rolled up his window and moved on. He did this two more times before I discovered that the car had a child-lock for the windows, including his. I have to spend 7 more hours driving with this man. He really likes blondes. Right, onto my roommate's story, he goes by the name Owen. So, Owen was at a camp for nautical engineering when he was about 13 or 14. The only reason he went was because he had scored very well on his MCAS, a statewide educational exam given at the end of the year to see how schools are preforming, and could go to it for free. One day a speaker came to give this long presentation on sewer systems (who knows why). At the end of an hour and a half long slide show on the magic of modern plumbing, there was a question and answer period. Kids were asking stuff like "Did you ever find any money?" to which she responded, "Yeah! I found a 50 dollar bill and bought a pack of gum!" Owen was sitting next to a friend who nudged him and whispered over hushed giggles, "You should ask if she's ever found a body!" Like any good 13 year old, Owen thought it would be hilarious. So, holding back laughter, he raised his hand and asked "D-did... did you ever find a body?" That was it. The laughter was too much to handle. It got to the point where the people sitting around him in the auditorium could hear it. With a very sad face, the woman responded, "Yes... we found something once..." At this point, poor little Owen gives up on holding it in. THE LAUGHTER. OH GOD THE LAUGHTER. But it can only get worse. "We found the arm... of a toddler..." OWEN IS GONE. He's laughing so hard that he decides the only way to save face is to get up and run out the door and get it all out outside. For the last two weeks of that camp he was known as the kid who laughs at dead babies. That's a bit longer than I thought it would be, whoops. I've got a few more if anyone wants.

[QUOTE=explodingape;37245598]The only reason he went was because he had scored very well on his MCAS,[/QUOTE] I never got to go to nautical engineering camp and I always scored well on MCAS :C

Today none of my friends thought to tell me that my boner went though the fly on my jeans when I woke up in the morning.

I remember back when i was around 8 or 9, i used to play a game called "There" which was alot like Second Life. I remember talking to some people in this circle and one person posted the link for Meatspin, me being naive i clicked it. Just as the swinging dick popped up, my mother walked by while i was trying to close it and just looked at me in awe. The next few hours my parents were searching through my history.

Thank God I'm not the only one that can't tie his God damn shoe laces. My hand co-ordination is really bad, And I have only sucessfully tied them once. I use velcro shoes all the time so that's probably why :v: Content: I was late for class so I was running down the halls when some teacher screamed at me for running to fast. Me being the tard I am I got scared by it, Looked behind me and slid into a table. Well... I flew over the table into the trashcan and breaking the damn thing. Only thing I could was laugh hysterically about it. The teacher was not to keen about that. I got sent to the principal ((?)I cannot spell today, Jesus fuck) and explained my story. He laughed his ass off and only gave me a warning not to run in the halls anymore. Well, It's kinda emberassing as some higher graders saw me flying into the trash and laughed.

[QUOTE=JumJum;37241329]She wanted your dick.[/QUOTE] I actually asked her number once. Response? "I don't use what I sell." while pointing to the condoms.

[QUOTE=UberMunchkin;37135260]I know exactly how you feel :c[/QUOTE] oh my goodness. i thought i was the only one. it's so annoying in math class when I have to answer a problem :c!

Back when I was twelve, porn slideshows were the shit in Warcraft 3 and as well as maps with thumbnails of naked chicks though you had the occasional asshole spoiling the party with maps with pictures of dicks. Oh, and yes, I discovered porn through downloading a Warcraft 3 map that featured naked ladies. Anyway, fast forwarding to months after my first experiences with soft core pornography and bare titties via Warcraft 3, my dad casually walks up behind me while I'm playing a random map and whispers into my ear, ''I know what kind of games you've been playing''. Obviously scared as a motherfucker, I couldn't think of anything to say and just put on an aloof look and pokerface on and continued playing my game. After finishing the map, I exited the game and uninstalled that motherfucker as fast as I could. Please forgive me for the shitty formatting as I'm typing on an iPhone. To make up for things, I'll share another related Warcraft story when I have the chance on my laptop.

[QUOTE=Nemisis116;37148206]I hate talking to the people when I go to buy something I just want to get my tic tacs/coke and leave, but they always have to be like "hi how are you going? oh is that all for today, here's your change, have a nice day" I'm just listening to my ipod tying to get in and out as fast as humanly possible I just end up standing there awkwardly murmuring something under my breath then walking away[/QUOTE] I work on checkouts sometimes and I enjoy talking to the customers because usually it brightens up my day [i]and[/i] theirs.

[QUOTE=Cpl.Shepherd;37250217]Back when I was twelve, porn slideshows were the shit in Warcraft 3 and as well as maps with thumbnails of naked chicks though you had the occasional asshole spoiling the party with maps with pictures of dicks. Oh, and yes, I discovered porn through downloading a Warcraft 3 map that featured naked ladies. Anyway, fast forwarding to months after my first experiences with soft core pornography and bare titties via Warcraft 3, my dad casually walks up behind me while I'm playing a random map and whispers into my ear, ''I know what kind of games you've been playing''. Obviously scared as a motherfucker, I couldn't think of anything to say and just put on an aloof look and pokerface on and continued playing my game. After finishing the map, I exited the game and uninstalled that motherfucker as fast as I could. Please forgive me for the shitty formatting as I'm typing on an iPhone. To make up for things, I'll share another related Warcraft story when I have the chance on my laptop.[/QUOTE] Same here, man. We played on a map where we had to go on a 5 hero team against a boss and then there were images of nakes ladies that appeared once you stepped on a circle. Of course, most people stepped on that circle for minutes, not letting us go to the other ladies and we were all like "dude move cmon move" it was fucking weird

I still cannot tie my laces. I pulled it off 3 times earlier, but by tomorrow I will more than likely be unable too. Here's hoping I can finally do it easily soon.

[QUOTE=HeavyGuy;37250911]I still cannot tie my laces. I pulled it off 3 times earlier, but by tomorrow I will more than likely be unable too. Here's hoping I can finally do it easily soon.[/QUOTE] don't worry man, you're not alone. I tie them once, then hope they never untie until I get a new pair of shoes and have to google again.

Did nobodies parents ever teach you how to tie your shoe laces? The fox around the tree?

One time in primary 6 (about 8 years old i think) there was a rumour going around that if you flushed the toilet 3 times,turned the sink on and off 3 times then closed the stall doors 3 times that the "Blue nun" would appear. So that day i forgot to go to the toilet before school and i was so terrified that i just pee'd myself. I was pretty pissed because i had guitar lessons after lunch. Also i'm 16 and i don't know the alphabet in order.

[QUOTE=Vengeful Falcon;37251726]Also i'm 16 and i don't know the alphabet in order.[/QUOTE] how like seriously how

Because i'm dumb. but i'm a pro at tying laces.

Try this one [url]http://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/ianknot.htm[/url] real easy way to tie the shoelaces.

[QUOTE=Vengeful Falcon;37252279]Because i'm dumb. but i'm a pro at tying laces.[/QUOTE] abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz Enjoy.

[QUOTE=cyclocius;37251655]Did nobodies parents ever teach you how to tie your shoe laces? The fox around the tree?[/QUOTE] I was taught by the fat bastard known as my Dad. He tried forcing me to learn to tie them and eventually I just declared I didn't want to because of the pressure. Fat fuck ruined my life forever thanks dad you rude banana