Embarrassing Situations Thread V1.0 - Oh, the shame! - General

[QUOTE=SHOE3045;37322622]I am 18, why do you ask? hes 19[/QUOTE] Hmm, your story and your title don't add up. If you're gay for Bill Murrays son then why would you be fucking underage girls?

Not really embarassing but more funny. Grade 9 health class, our phys ed teacher pulls in a TV with a video of a live birth for us to watch (wtf). My semi-friend was sitting beside me in the back of the class, somehow excited for the video. You got the occasional scene where the camera focuses on the vagina and the baby coming out. Of course you get the occasional "ewwww" or "what the fuck" coming from a student or two. You then get my friend. He started completely laughing his ass off at those scenes. When the woman queefed, he laughed even louder. He almost fell out of his chair laughing. Everyone was just shocked at why he was laughing. Of course since his laugh was rediculous, I started laughing too, and a friend of Ricky joined in too. Needless to say I thought it was one of the most hilarious things now that I think about it, but before then it was so embarassing directly after.

[QUOTE=Quinnjdq;37324792]One time when I was like 5 I told my mom Happy birthday to early and before we gave her the cake. When my dad informed me I cried for 20 minutes face down in shame.[/QUOTE] Wait. What?

At a club, a black girl sat on my on my lap and whispered into my ear, "I like white meat." I wasn't interested, and tried to say something cute and silly to clue her in nicely. What came out was, "Yeah, me too."

[QUOTE=RoflKawpter;37327364]Not really embarassing but more funny. Grade 9 health class, our phys ed teacher pulls in a TV with a video of a live birth for us to watch (wtf). My semi-friend was sitting beside me in the back of the class, somehow excited for the video. You got the occasional scene where the camera focuses on the vagina and the baby coming out. Of course you get the occasional "ewwww" or "what the fuck" coming from a student or two. You then get my friend. He started completely laughing his ass off at those scenes. When the woman queefed, he laughed even louder. He almost fell out of his chair laughing. Everyone was just shocked at why he was laughing. Of course since his laugh was rediculous, I started laughing too, and a friend of Ricky joined in too. Needless to say I thought it was one of the most hilarious things now that I think about it, but before then it was so embarassing directly after.[/QUOTE] Something like this happened to me too. We were watching a film in class about a druggie whose legs were pretty much rotted away. I've seen the film here too, it was new back then. Anyway, my friend told me something hilarious during a scene where they cut his pants off to reveal his rotten legs. I try to hold back but I start laughing when they start cutting them off and my laughter grows louder the more they cut off. When his pants were completely cut off I let out a loud, short "AAHHAH!" and the girls in front of me turn around and look at me like I'm some sort of insane motherfucker who gets kicks from that stuff.

-snip- im gay

Back in highschool I was on my way to class (it's a 15 minute walk away from where the bus dropped me off). I was walking through a muddy soccer field when a siren goes off and scares the shit out of me. Where I live, when you hear a siren it usually means there's a rocket inbound so I jumped flat on the mud. 5 minutes later I get up and walk to class covered in mud only to find that it was a false alarm.

[QUOTE=ScreamingGerbil;37330039]Where I live, when you hear a siren it usually means there's a rocket inbound[/QUOTE] Whereabouts do you live?

[QUOTE=ScreamingGerbil;37330039]Back in highschool I was on my way to class (it's a 15 minute walk away from where the bus dropped me off). I was walking through a muddy soccer field when a siren goes off and scares the shit out of me. Where I live, when you hear a siren it usually means there's a rocket inbound so I jumped flat on the mud. 5 minutes later I get up and walk to class covered in mud only to find that it was a false alarm.[/QUOTE] Where do you live Israel?

[QUOTE=SHOE3045;37306981]No, actually I met Bill and shook his hand[/QUOTE] "Oh sorry, those were the fingers I massaged your sons prostate with."

[QUOTE=Justin Case;37330412]"Oh sorry, those were the fingers I massaged your sons prostate with."[/QUOTE] yeah, he seemed pissed. Prolly cause I fucked his son. woops...

[QUOTE=ScreamingGerbil;37330039]Back in highschool I was on my way to class (it's a 15 minute walk away from where the bus dropped me off). I was walking through a muddy soccer field when a siren goes off and scares the shit out of me. Where I live, when you hear a siren it usually means there's a rocket inbound so I jumped flat on the mud. 5 minutes later I get up and walk to class covered in mud only to find that it was a false alarm.[/QUOTE]Because jumping in the mud would save you from a rocket?

No offense, but I'm still having trouble swallowing (I swear to god, don't) this whole story. What was the name of the facility you're staying at? My mother works the industry, and she's probably referred there before. She might be able to snag me the patient roster.

[QUOTE=SHOE3045;37330516]yeah, he seemed pissed. Prolly cause I fucked his son. woops...[/QUOTE] How exactly does he know? And your title would make a interesting story as well.

bill murray posts on fp and read the posts !!

That godawful moment when someone is talking about something and you don't hear what they said very clearly so you just kinda nod and give a half-smile, and they sit there for a second before asking if you heard them and you say yes, but then it turns out they asked a question and you have to ask them to repeat it

[QUOTE=Yoozil;37330649]Because jumping in the mud would save you from a rocket?[/QUOTE] Well I assume it doesn't hurt to try. Better than standing up and getting knocked over.

[QUOTE=Cree8ive;37330686]How exactly does he know? And your title would make a interesting story as well.[/QUOTE] Staff sent Bill an email about how Theo and I had "relations" actually as punishment Theo was kicked out for three days. But since I had only gotten to the program a week or two prior there was no punishment for me. Ahh my title... someone bought that for me. Thats rather a sore topic at this point (not that I mind talking about it, im just tired of doing so) but in short: One of my best friends is fourteen and while the title is a tad bit of an exaggeration. We would totally have sex with her if we lived in the same area.

In all of my classes there's always at least 3 people with the same name, so when the register gets called I usually wait to see if anyone calls out before me, if they do I'm safe, if not I wait a few seconds then call out for myself, but I always get looked at like I'm a dumbass who doesn't know my own name

Hi, I'm Bill Murray. I can confirm that this poster on facepunch is not screwing my son in the butt.

[QUOTE=The Rifleman;37330231]Where do you live Israel?[/QUOTE] Flagdog says Israel. [QUOTE=Yoozil;37330649]Because jumping in the mud would save you from a rocket?[/QUOTE] You're much less likely to be injured if you get down, even in the open.

[QUOTE=SHOE3045;37330872]Staff sent Bill an email about how Theo and I had "relations" actually as punishment Theo was kicked out for three days. But since I had only gotten to the program a week or two prior there was no punishment for me. Ahh my title... someone bought that for me. Thats rather a sore topic at this point (not that I mind talking about it, im just tired of doing so) but in short: One of my best friends is fourteen and while the title is a tad bit of an exaggeration. We would totally have sex with her if we lived in the same area.[/QUOTE] Now that you mention it I think I remember reading your title's story from somewhere in the past...

[QUOTE=robotman5;37321172]When i was younger i had the flu and i was running to the bathroom to puke. but i ended up puking on the floor and slipping on it and getting it all over my back....[/QUOTE] This exact thing happened to me in kindergarten. Except it happened in the middle of class on the tile floor.

When a rocket hits the ground, the shrapnel goes upwards in a cone shape. So lying flat on the ground can minimize injury. At least that's what we were told back then.

[QUOTE=SHOE3045;37330872] We would totally have sex with her if we lived in the same area.[/QUOTE] We? You want to gangbang a 14 year old girl? You and Bill Murrays son? [editline]21st August 2012[/editline] Fucking 14.

[QUOTE=Dan2593;37332940]We? You want to gangbang a 14 year old girl? You and Bill Murrays son? Fucking 14.[/QUOTE] I know that you prolly just said that to bug me, but no I ment (a certain younger female friend of mine) and I. Because apparently I have to make that clear.

In my freshman year of high school I had to do the 400 meter dash in PE, but I'm not really in shape and not especially feeling well this day. I run, come in last, and the teacher says something about trying harder. Then, I feel myself lean forward by some reflex, and proceed to profusely vomit on the football field. My teacher yells at me to puke in the nearby trash can, so I waddle over to it, leaving a trail of vomit, and continue to vomit for a while into the trashcan.

Back in the 7th grade, I was really chubby and a lot of people would take the piss and call me fat and stuff. So I did my best to try not to act like your typical fat guy.. Until one day in french class, I was chatting with some mates about everything and nothing, and somehow it leads to someone saying "Tom (me) doesn't like pie" (or something along those lines) and just before I opened my mouth the class went silent and I said, rather loudly "I fucking [I]love[/I] pie!"

[QUOTE=SHOE3045;37330872]Ahh my title... someone bought that for me. Thats rather a sore topic at this point (not that I mind talking about it, im just tired of doing so) but in short: One of my best friends is fourteen and while the title is a tad bit of an exaggeration. We would totally have sex with her if we lived in the same area.[/QUOTE] Statutory rape is illegal FYI

More OC for yeh, my apologies for the length Sophomore in college Rooming with a ripped black dude who swims in nubile white chicks Our relationship can best be most accurately described by the following picture: [IMG]http://www.greenwaterimages.com/bahamas2005/images/sharkwithremora.jpg[/IMG] He goes out every night but Monday to the club while I stay in my room doing fuck all on the computer He comes back late Thursday night with a pair of drunken women; a hot one and her porcine hambeast retainer I have been drinking Burnett's the whole night while playing Dota 2, my inebriation causes me to rate the hambeast at about a 7/10 My roommate tosses the hot girl on his bed I climb into my lofted bed and try to get the hambeast to follow, unfortunately her motor skills have deteriorated to the point where she can do little more but sit on the floor and gibber I decide to emulate my roommate by pulling the hambeast onto my bed I lean way over to grab her hand or perhaps one of her generous folds of fat Upon seizing something, I roar "Get over here!" in my best Pudge/Scorpion impression and I start vigorously tugging, getting her to an upright position I attempt to pull her further, but the strength in my flabby arms deserts me, and the hambeast immediately slumps down on the ground, pulling me headfirst off my bed my nose takes the brunt of the trauma upon hitting the floor and immediately turns into a blood sprinkler Blood jets onto the floor as I try to peel myself off the floor Nobody seems to notice my plight; the hambeast is inert and my roommate and his girl are under the covers and seem to have assumed that the noise was just nasty fat people sex. I start trying to walk to the bathroom to survey the damage; I slip on my blood and just decide to crawl there I can’t stand up to look in the mirror I wake up in a bathroom stall with an exoskeleton made out of a crusty mixture of blood and vomit