Embarrassing Situations Thread V1.0 - Oh, the shame! - General

[QUOTE=slapdown3;37410811]My Nana expects me to go trick-or-treating with my 4 year old cousin because "he'll be scared if he goes alone", I'm 17 and shes making me get a costume. I'd totally go as a chaperone if I could just wear a jacket or something ._.[/QUOTE] Do what I do for halloweens. Put on a (preferably navy-blue) suit and balaclava, and wear a paper mask of a ghost or something. Most people won't get it, but it'll get you a giggle from those who do. And it's a universal costume for any dress-up event ever, just print out a new mask.

[QUOTE=slapdown3;37410811]My Nana expects me to go trick-or-treating with my 4 year old cousin because "he'll be scared if he goes alone", I'm 17 and shes making me get a costume. I'd totally go as a chaperone if I could just wear a jacket or something ._.[/QUOTE] white sheet/table-cloth/etc cut holes for eyes presto

[QUOTE=slapdown3;37410811]My Nana expects me to go trick-or-treating with my 4 year old cousin because "he'll be scared if he goes alone", I'm 17 and shes making me get a costume. I'd totally go as a chaperone if I could just wear a jacket or something ._.[/QUOTE] Just go to the store and buy a fuckload of candy then go home HAPPY HALLOWEEEEEEENNNN

[QUOTE=BoysLightUp;37411996]white sheet/table-cloth/etc cut holes for eyes presto[/QUOTE] great kkk costume

i was trying to take a shortcut in gym class and i was running down this hill when i trip get back up and tripped again and everyone in the class saw me and laughed so hard fuck

[QUOTE=slapdown3;37410811]My Nana expects me to go trick-or-treating with my 4 year old cousin because "he'll be scared if he goes alone", I'm 17 and shes making me get a costume. I'd totally go as a chaperone if I could just wear a jacket or something ._.[/QUOTE] You should smash black make-up on random places and then say 'I'm a rockstar, but it's too deep for you to understand'

Twisted my knee at graduation. Limped getting my diploma.

Whenever I stutter. I don't even stutter that much, but when I do, I instantly metaphorically burst into flames.

This is my new favorite thread

When I was a kid, at school, during the lunch, some asshole found funny to put his yogurt on my chair. When I sat, it blowed up all over my ass. Of course, it was a chocolate yogurt.

[QUOTE=WiltheKid;37418761]Whenever I stutter. I don't even stutter that much, but when I do, I instantly metaphorically burst into flames.[/QUOTE] Same here, but I stutter ALL the time. Even to my parents.

Been following this thread for a while now so I may as well post my own, embarrassing content. Even though not many embarrassing things happen to me, this one is at the forefront of my mind: After a day down by the coast out with friends, we were all walking along the beach closer to the promenade kinda thing than the sea, and there were about 3 friends walking alongside me a few feet away. Now fuck knows why, but at the time I decided it'd be easier to walk sideways to talk to them, someone was probably doing something stupid that I woulda been watching actually - but I digress. As I was walking sideways I remember seeing this black shape laying on the floor to the left out of the corner of my eye that I assume to be a binbag or something, so I attempt to adjust my course so I won't hit it. Next thing I know I'm standing beside it while talking with my friends looking towards me so I think to myself, "shit, I don't wanna walk through a bin, I'll just step over it". Now under any normal circumstance this would be fine, but as my leg hits something solid I look down for my first proper look at the 'binbag' to see two heads appear where this couple, both wearing full black, were obviously embracing romantically on the beach, and I had just stepped on them... It doesn't help that from there the guy starts shouting at me saying, "what the fuck are you doing", etc etc, which I respect because I've just stepped on them, but it doesn't help that I just went red and scurried off back to my friends saying how sorry I was while everyone else was just laughing their asses off (Excuse spelling etc sorry, on my phone)

[QUOTE=HeavyGuy;37400755]I became an uncle at 7. It was simultaneously cool but really weird. I haven't got another embarrassing story that I can remember at the moment though.[/QUOTE] I've got you on this one. I'm 16, my nephew is 13.

I was walking my dog earlier and my ass began to itch so naturally i start scratching it furiously. Not two seconds later I hear a sound behind me, and a very attractive girl was running (exercising) and she's starring at me with this "Oh what the fuck" kind of look. I turned red and turned around just kept walking my dog as she ran by. In my head i thought "Fuck that bitch i dont care wont ever see her again anyways". I ran into her on the way back to my house again...I looked down the whole time.

[QUOTE=StoneRabbit;37420443]When I was a kid, at school, during the lunch, some asshole found funny to put his yogurt on my chair. When I sat, it blowed up all over my ass. Of course, it was a chocolate yogurt.[/QUOTE] same happened me too when i was on 8th class. And this guy was one of my best friend(still). I beaten shit out of him, in front of all the teachers and students. And after an hour or two we was again like joking about it, and talking shit etc.

Oh I got one from like eight or nine years ago. I was at a friends house and their dog decided to shit on their driveway. So later I accidentally step on it. I panic, turn to run home, and fucking slip in the dog shit. My shoe needed a right good cleaning after that and I didn't go out for like a week.

i was talking to friends they start being dumb brain: FREUDIAN SLIP TIME AHAHAHA me: "dont make me kill you" silence

[QUOTE=ajrhug;37424012]i was talking to friends they start being dumb brain: FREUDIAN SLIP TIME AHAHAHA me: "dont make me kill you" silence[/QUOTE] Why is that weird? My friends do that all the time.

[QUOTE=HeavyGuy;37400755]I became an uncle at 7. It was simultaneously cool but really weird. I haven't got another embarrassing story that I can remember at the moment though.[/QUOTE] I've been an uncle since i was 1 month old. I delayed on getting my driver's license, and my niece got it before me. Kinda makes me feel better though, when you consider that on the way back from the DMV, she got a ticket for running a red light.

[QUOTE=sp00ks;37416520]great kkk costume[/QUOTE] At a camp, we go to a field, and for some reason I ran downhill ahead of most of the others. I fell, rolled like an idiot, and when I got up a huge blob of snot was leaking out of my nose. I didn't have sleeves or anything (everyone was in shorts and t-shirts) so I ran off in shame and wiped the snot off on some leaf.

~2100 hours, Friday night After having pizza for dinner and grabbing some ice cream for desert, I hop in the driver's seat of my car with my friend and start slowly cruising through the back streets of town, heading for the outskirts to leave and go home. My stomach rumbles. I feel something drop. I calmly turn to my friend and inform him the bowel situation just went DEFCON 2, this is going to be a fast ride home. My foot grows heavy on the accelerator as I do the mental math, it's a half hour ride home and this shit's getting real... Another growl, another rumble, a fart that was almost much more, and I almost yell that the shit-uation just went DEFCON 1 and we're making a pit stop. I deftly reverse direction and whip my car onto Main Street, burning down it towards the local grocery store. I slow down in the parking lot to avoid suspicion, drifting at an idle into a parking spot. I shift into park and kill the engine, tell my friend I'm sorry it had to happen this way, and get out. He falls in behind me, and we start pounding pavement in the quick, efficient manner of those who desperately require toiletry. We quietly move through the parking lot like a pair of ghosts in the night, seeking atonement for business left unfinished. We cut through the automatic doors, slowing just enough to avoid collision, and cautiously make our way to the restroom. We enter surreptitiously, just far enough apart to avoid implications by an errant viewer. It was only a pretense, had the restroom contained other occupants, I would gladly have strangled them with my bare hands. And it would have been no small mercy to spare them from what was about to occur in those fluorescent lit chambers. We select our stalls and approach the doors. A momentary pause with our hands on the doors, we glance at each other and give slight nods... Then all hell breaks loose. Hinges squeak, poorly maintained privacy locks crunch into place, and toilet seats are slammed down. Both of us promptly unleashed loud, smelly torrents of the most un-stealthy bodily functions possible into the toilets, karma kicking our asses for the pizza and ice cream. There was no stopping, there was no hiding. I only prayed nobody would walk in, into the midst of this little portal to Hell, where the familiar plops of healthy humans dumping was replaced by twin streams of liquid assaulting every ounce of modesty in my body. The only way for either of us to cope and maintain enough mental faculties for the ensuing escape was to laugh maniacally, which only made the in-the-toilet situation adopt the staccato rhythm of our cackling. I will never forget the sound, the smell... The horror... Pale and clammy, head spinning, I finished before my friend. I burst out of the stall and had my hands washed before the toilet finished gagging down what I'd given it, pausing only long enough to inform my fellow war criminal I'd be waiting in the car. I burst from the bathroom and moved as calmly as possible towards the entrance opposite the one I'd entered before, a feeble attempt to hide my shame. I sat (Tenderly, mind you) down in the relative privacy of my vehicle at long last. I pushed the parking brake so the daytime lights wouldn't come on, and turned the ignition. I sat alone, listening to the engine spin patiently until my friend arrived, wishing every vibration from the motor wasn't a minor assault against a sore butthole. He cringed as his ass hit the seat, I silently thanked my lucky stars my car's interior is leather, then promptly released the brake and peeled out of the parking lot. As far as we could tell, none were the wiser. There were fortunately no witnesses to the utterly horrific display of bowel shaking, prison-camp style evacuation that had just happened. We said few words the next half hour home, vowing only never to speak of this day again as the lights of the city faded away behind us. I break that vow now that others may know the utter disregard for humanity that day, and not repeat my mistakes... For shitting your brains out together in public bathroom stalls while your cacaphony echoes off the tiles isn't nearly as radical as it sounds.

My dad has anger issues. I'm sitting in a coffee shop with him helping him design his website and he starts yelling for no reason, getting all excited, when he's trying to explain to me this product he's been working on and I notice that everyone around me is starting to stare at us and give us weird looks. Like he has no idea he's causing a scene and I tell him to calm down, the next thing you know some young teenage girls are walking out of the store and he just stares at their asses and keeps repeating to himself "oh shes a cuite'' with a creepy smile on his face not realising that everyone is just shooting us weird looks because he just made himself look like some old perv. And then we stop for a pizza and as we're in the store ordering he asks me what I want to have and I tell him "I'm not really hungry actually" so then he yells "bullshit I know your hungry.'' so I reply ''Not really actually, you can get something for yourself if you like .'' so then he yells ''STOP BEING SO FUCKING DIFFICULT HERE AND ORDER SOMETHING.'' like loud as fuck and at that point I just tense up and walk away and I notice that two of my old friends were just staring at us the entire time shit faced. I guess thats the first time they've heard someone being so aggressive with their son before because they didn't even say hi to me. Although he is diabetic so his sugar must have been low or something but even his girlfriend has been complaining about him being so angry lately. when I was talking to him In the car after I told him "Why were you acting like this and why do you like causing a scene? you do realise your making yourself look like an idiot right?'' to which he replies ''I dont give a fuck what anyone else thinks. you were pissing me off.''

Not mine, but my teacher who is incredibly awesome told me about it :v: He was watching this play and a scene comes in where one of the dudes has to kill the other. They are something like musketeers. Anyway, one of them yells "Now Sanchez, is when you die!" or something like that. He tries to take his sword from the scabbard but it breaks in half. They both look at each other awkwardly and in a moment of inspiration he yells again "NOW, Shanchez, is when you die!" and tries to take his gun out of the holster but it's completly stuck. At this point is when I imagine the poor guy just said "Fuck it". He takes his fucking boot off and yells at the top of his lungs "NOW SANCHEZ, NOW IS WHEN YOU DIE!" and just throws it at him. Just as it hits the other guy's chest he yells "CURSES! THE BOOT WAS POISONED!" and dies. It was the BEST improvisation of all time, my teacher still talks about it.

[QUOTE=ultra_bright;37425266]My dad has anger issues. I'm sitting in a coffee shop with him helping him design his website and he starts yelling for no reason, getting all excited, when he's trying to explain to me this product he's been working on and I notice that everyone around me is starting to stare at us and give us weird looks. Like he has no idea he's causing a scene and I tell him to calm down, the next thing you know some young teenage girls are walking out of the store and he just stares at their asses and keeps repeating to himself "oh shes a cuite'' with a creepy smile on his face not realising that everyone is just shooting us weird looks because he just made himself look like some old perv. And then we stop for a pizza and as we're in the store ordering he asks me what I want to have and I tell him "I'm not really hungry actually" so then he yells "bullshit I know your hungry.'' so I reply ''Not really actually, you can get something for yourself if you like .'' so then he yells ''STOP BEING SO FUCKING DIFFICULT HERE AND ORDER SOMETHING.'' like loud as fuck and at that point I just tense up and walk away and I notice that two of my old friends were just staring at us the entire time shit faced. I guess thats the first time they've heard someone being so aggressive with their son before because they didn't even say hi to me. Although he is diabetic so his sugar must have been low or something but even his girlfriend has been complaining about him being so angry lately. when I was talking to him In the car after I told him "Why were you acting like this and why do you like causing a scene? you do realise your making yourself look like an idiot right?'' to which he replies ''I dont give a fuck what anyone else thinks. you were pissing me off.''[/QUOTE] [URL="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPR3qrMrqVs"]Is this your dad?[/URL]

When I was getting a physical and the doctor felt my penis, it started hardening like crazy then ejaculated. Needless to say I needed to get another doctor.

[QUOTE=Carnotite;37424508]~2100 hours, Friday night After having pizza for dinner and grabbing some ice cream for desert, I hop in the driver's seat of my car with my friend and start slowly cruising through the back streets of town, heading for the outskirts to leave and go home. My stomach rumbles. I feel something drop. I calmly turn to my friend and inform him the bowel situation just went DEFCON 2, this is going to be a fast ride home. My foot grows heavy on the accelerator as I do the mental math, it's a half hour ride home and this shit's getting real... Another growl, another rumble, a fart that was almost much more, and I almost yell that the shit-uation just went DEFCON 1 and we're making a pit stop. I deftly reverse direction and whip my car onto Main Street, burning down it towards the local grocery store. I slow down in the parking lot to avoid suspicion, drifting at an idle into a parking spot. I shift into park and kill the engine, tell my friend I'm sorry it had to happen this way, and get out. He falls in behind me, and we start pounding pavement in the quick, efficient manner of those who desperately require toiletry. We quietly move through the parking lot like a pair of ghosts in the night, seeking atonement for business left unfinished. We cut through the automatic doors, slowing just enough to avoid collision, and cautiously make our way to the restroom. We enter surreptitiously, just far enough apart to avoid implications by an errant viewer. It was only a pretense, had the restroom contained other occupants, I would gladly have strangled them with my bare hands. And it would have been no small mercy to spare them from what was about to occur in those fluorescent lit chambers. We select our stalls and approach the doors. A momentary pause with our hands on the doors, we glance at each other and give slight nods... Then all hell breaks loose. Hinges squeak, poorly maintained privacy locks crunch into place, and toilet seats are slammed down. Both of us promptly unleashed loud, smelly torrents of the most un-stealthy bodily functions possible into the toilets, karma kicking our asses for the pizza and ice cream. There was no stopping, there was no hiding. I only prayed nobody would walk in, into the midst of this little portal to Hell, where the familiar plops of healthy humans dumping was replaced by twin streams of liquid assaulting every ounce of modesty in my body. The only way for either of us to cope and maintain enough mental faculties for the ensuing escape was to laugh maniacally, which only made the in-the-toilet situation adopt the staccato rhythm of our cackling. I will never forget the sound, the smell... The horror... Pale and clammy, head spinning, I finished before my friend. I burst out of the stall and had my hands washed before the toilet finished gagging down what I'd given it, pausing only long enough to inform my fellow war criminal I'd be waiting in the car. I burst from the bathroom and moved as calmly as possible towards the entrance opposite the one I'd entered before, a feeble attempt to hide my shame. I sat (Tenderly, mind you) down in the relative privacy of my vehicle at long last. I pushed the parking brake so the daytime lights wouldn't come on, and turned the ignition. I sat alone, listening to the engine spin patiently until my friend arrived, wishing every vibration from the motor wasn't a minor assault against a sore butthole. He cringed as his ass hit the seat, I silently thanked my lucky stars my car's interior is leather, then promptly released the brake and peeled out of the parking lot. As far as we could tell, none were the wiser. There were fortunately no witnesses to the utterly horrific display of bowel shaking, prison-camp style evacuation that had just happened. We said few words the next half hour home, vowing only never to speak of this day again as the lights of the city faded away behind us. I break that vow now that others may know the utter disregard for humanity that day, and not repeat my mistakes... For shitting your brains out together in public bathroom stalls while your cacaphony echoes off the tiles isn't nearly as radical as it sounds.[/QUOTE] Not that anyone really cares, but I was said friend. Never again will I have ice cream, fast food, then a milkshake. I think there was ass scarring. D:

Today in the tightly packed subway, pressed up against this good looking girl I know. There is more empty space between two actors in a porn movie than there was between people in that subway. Wasn't embarrassing because I never was one for random (and not so random, in this case) boners, but it could have been. [editline]27th August 2012[/editline] Could have been worse, could have been her getting the boner.

[QUOTE=acds;37429171] Could have been worse, could have been her getting the boner.[/QUOTE] says you

[QUOTE=Stonecycle;37417498]Twisted my knee at graduation. Limped getting my diploma.[/QUOTE] Went to my graduation in shorts & a T-shirt. No fucks were given that day. (they also mixed up the names so my report said "Good job Astrid!" (I'm a dude))

Gym class. I was always the guy with his head on the clouds. On that day, it was basketball practice so we were suppose to form two lines at the opposite sides of the gym in order to score train dribbles and scores. I got to the wrong line and my colleagues kept screaming at me to change lines but I didn't hear since my head was on the clouds. So we happened to have this huge Ukrainian guy in class with us. He was dumb as hell but strong and all muscles. He picks up a basket ball and hurls it across the gym. The ball hits the wall and then slams into my face knocking me out for a couple of seconds. I came to myself with everyone still laughing at me. And for days every time I played football or any sport with balls my colleagues kept throwing balls at me.