Embarrassing Situations Thread V1.0 - Oh, the shame! - General

pro

Any time I eat a snickers bar, a little piece of peanut always gets stuck in the back of my throat. The only time it ever dislodges itself is in the middle of when i'm talking. Of course, while this is happening, it makes my voice crack up and makes me sound like i'm choking.

Heh. Last weekend I was at a great party with some friends. I played music with my band for a while and once we finished, we started playing some fucking awesome techno music. Anyway, I had about 11 shots of 120 vodka, smoked a lot of weed and started partying like crazy. We jumped around everywhere, I learned to dance and this girl started chatting with me (which was a bad idea considering I have a gf). So at one point, we decide to go outside for a second. I have two of my uncle's cuban cigars, so I took one and gave the other to my drummer. After that night, he deserved it. We puffed on them for a while. The house was clear to smoke in if we wanted to, but outside was so nice and we were really fucked so we didn't know what was happening. Anyway, someone called in my drummer and I was outside alone with a half boner. I walked out to the end of the patio and stood there, contemplating if I should piss right now or not. Well we're on 500 acres of land, so I decided yes. I unzipped my pants, pulled out the half-y and proceeded to start peeing. I had the cigar in my mouth and was holding my dick with two hands. I took a puff of my cigar since it was in my mouth and it was a big enough puff to burn the right amount of tobacco and make it fall off the cigar. It fell directly on my dick. Red. Hot. Ash. I fucking jumped and stopped pissing. I just burned my dick. I looked around and apparently no one else saw. I zipped up my jeans and continued smoking, then I went inside. yep. it's healing, but it hurts like fuck

[QUOTE=Dan2593;37568120]This is the funniest situation to be in. You still in it?[/QUOTE] I was until they started explaining why they wanted to become a trap and sending me photos. alot of photos. edit: no i dont have the photos edit2: that story in itself could be a whole 'nother post. I'll write it up tomorrow

[QUOTE=SKEEA;37547284]-snap wrong thread- [editline]5th September 2012[/editline] One time in high school, I had a debate/procedural law class. I was a defense attorney in the case, and I was doing fairly well. The time came to give my profound closing statement that would surely win the case in the defense's favor. I walked confidently up to the jury and began. "Ladies and *massive voice crack* GENTLEmen of the jury". The entire class started laughing uproariously while I turned beet red and tried to continue. I managed to get the rest out and go back to the defense's desk. I lost the case. That shit followed me forever, and one of my good friends still razzes me about it occasionally.[/QUOTE] I have so many voice crack stories...At one stage my friends started calling my "The Voice Crack King" because I would literally crack EVERY sentence. I still do actually.

[B]-snip-[/B] Bad story, I agree. -snip again-

[QUOTE=ScottyWired;37573901]Hot off the press. My school uniform is sewn in a way that every time a guy sits down, the fabric folds in a manner that looks like a boner[/QUOTE] Hmpph... Your school uniform is sewn in a way just like my own denim shorts, and trousers and jeans and board shorts, and short shorts and pants and... Well.. that can't be a coincidence.. can it? No...

The Saga of the awkward Electrician continues: The same electrician from my last post is now working on the fridge. As I am still a socially awkward person, I guess it's no breakfast for me :C

[QUOTE=DeathFrogg;37574882]Hmpph... Your school uniform is sewn in a way just like my own denim shorts, and trousers and jeans and board shorts, and short shorts and pants and... Well.. that can't be a coincidence.. can it? No...[/QUOTE] They call it the Jim Henson stitch.

dude. it's not that hard to just not give a fuck. just go to the fridge and be like "bro, I need to grab something from the fridge" then he'll probably just say "ok" and then you'll grab your breakfast and you will be satisfied and he will fix the fridge and everyone will live happily ever after

[QUOTE=Cabbage;37574951]The Saga of the awkward Electrician continues: The same electrician from my last post is now working on the fridge. As I am still a socially awkward person, I guess it's no breakfast for me :C[/QUOTE] I get pretty nervous when people are in my house too. Just march down / over there, half-heartedly say "how's it going?" or something similar and nab your food. It really helps if you convince yourself that you give no fucks, the more you think about big awkward conversations with them or doing something stupid in front of them or whatever the worse it becomes.

Guess I could bother pasting what I wrote in the gay thread a couple of days ago. [sp]It's quite gay[/sp] My parents were buying a ps3 to use it as a blue ray player and stuff for their Tv which they have in their bedroom. And I had already bought myself a ps3 which they had accidentally scratched the case on alot when they borrowed it from me, so I asked if I could trade my old one for the new and clean one (which they accepted out of guilt and since it really didn't matter). Anyhow, a couple of days after, during the evening. I went downstairs casually just to look what my father was doing (who were the only one home during the moment). And as I entered my parents bedroom, he jumped a little and pressed the buttons on the game control in stress. I assumed that he was playing a game and resumed by entering the room to fully check out what he was playing. In haste, he began to crawl through the bed in order to reach the TV, just as I saw what was shown on right before he managed to shut it off. He was browsing e621 and the whole screen was filled with gay furry porn. I just stood there in shock and didn't know what to do, say or think. Everything went silent in what felt like a lifetime. My father then finally decides to open his mouth and say -I was going to check out how it was to browse the web on the ps3, and this site came up as a recommendation based on common searches. I then realised what was going on and remembered that I had actually browsed huge amounts of porn during a period when I didn't had a computer available. I turned pale and denied everything.. God, it was one of the most awkward moments in my life... But lucky, since he was the one being spotted browsing, he obviously felt as awkward as me in case he thought it wasn't my history and I had no idea what was going on. After lots of denial and assumptions and awkward chats, I finally left the room and it was never spoken of again. The day after when none else were home, I stealthed into their room and deleted all my history.

[QUOTE=Jawyen;37575021]Guess I could bother pasting what I wrote in the gay thread a couple of days ago. [sp]It's quite gay[/sp] My parents were buying a ps3 to use it as a blue ray player and stuff for their Tv which they have in their bedroom. And I had already bought myself a ps3 which they had accidentally scratched the case on alot when they borrowed it from me, so I asked if I could trade my old one for the new and clean one (which they accepted out of guilt and since it really didn't matter). Anyhow, a couple of days after, during the evening. I went downstairs casually just to look what my father was doing (who were the only one home during the moment). And as I entered my parents bedroom, he jumped a little and pressed the buttons on the game control in stress. I assumed that he was playing a game and resumed by entering the room to fully check out what he was playing. In haste, he began to crawl through the bed in order to reach the TV, just as I saw what was shown on right before he managed to shut it off. He was browsing e621 and the whole screen was filled with gay furry porn. I just stood there in shock and didn't know what to do, say or think. Everything went silent in what felt like a lifetime. My father then finally decides to open his mouth and say -I was going to check out how it was to browse the web on the ps3, and this site came up as a recommendation based on common searches. I then realised what was going on and remembered that I had actually browsed huge amounts of porn during a period when I didn't had a computer available. I turned pale and denied everything.. God, it was one of the most awkward moments in my life... But lucky, since he was the one being spotted browsing, he obviously felt as awkward as me in case he thought it wasn't my history and I had no idea what was going on. After lots of denial and assumptions and awkward chats, I finally left the room and it was never spoken of again. The day after when none else were home, I stealthed into their room and deleted all my history.[/QUOTE] Oh man, we need a thread just for these stories, hard to find them in this thread. Anyway, so I have a Dog, and he seems to sniff me alot, mainly my testicles, so it is awkward when I am sitting with friends.

[QUOTE=Sleepy Head;37574998]dude. it's not that hard to just not give a fuck. just go to the fridge and be like "bro, I need to grab something from the fridge" then he'll probably just say "ok" and then you'll grab your breakfast and you will be satisfied and he will fix the fridge and everyone will live happily ever after[/QUOTE] Well that's what I did in the end, but it was only awkward at first, because I wasn't expecting him to be there. So I noticed him, didn't know what to do, began to awkwardly look for things, then awkwardly post this. After a few minutes I thought 'fuck it' and had some chocolate cheerios. Still felt pretty uncomfortable at first

[QUOTE=OneFourth;37558201]And thus launched my adventure into faking a Steam long distance homosexual relationship.[/QUOTE] Are you actually gay or did you fake that you were gay because you were too embarrassed about what you pasted? Because if so, that's hilariously fucked up. [editline]7th September 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=myng;37525376]In 2nd or 3rd grade, I pissed myself on my way to the bathroom. So, I faced the wall, so no one could see the piss spot, and I just sidestepped my way to the nurse's for new shorts.[/QUOTE] [video=youtube;JRpouK0KmWQ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRpouK0KmWQ[/video] you fallin in love with the wall or somethin?

[QUOTE=Cabbage;37575723]Well that's what I did in the end, but it was only awkward at first, because I wasn't expecting him to be there. So I noticed him, didn't know what to do, began to awkwardly look for things, then awkwardly post this. After a few minutes I thought 'fuck it' and had some chocolate cheerios. Still felt pretty uncomfortable at first[/QUOTE] the saying "don't think, just do" is probably my best advice for you. the more you dwell on the thought, the more nervous you'll get. if you need or want to approach a person, whether you want to or not, you want to be confident, but not too confident. this is how I usually deal with it, and it always worked for me. think of it this way, they're just as nervous as you are. a person is approaching them, and they don't know what to expect. so you're both on equal levels. so just approach them and be cool about it. if you're gonna go in feeling awkward then you've already lost the battle. but pretty muhc just stop making up all these scenarios in your head and do it

[QUOTE=Cabbage;37575723]Well that's what I did in the end, but it was only awkward at first, because I wasn't expecting him to be there. So I noticed him, didn't know what to do, began to awkwardly look for things, then awkwardly post this. After a few minutes I thought 'fuck it' and had some chocolate cheerios. Still felt pretty uncomfortable at first[/QUOTE] When there were people in my house fixing our radiators and water pipes I just walked in to the kitchen in my underwear and grabbed food. If they're in my house they better move.

Okay, when I was 8, I had a "girlfriend". We'd always do some stuff together. Once when I was with her in her house, she got undressed and I was like "Oh my god my mom will not like this" in my head. She handed me her phone and wanted me to take pictures of her pussy. I took maybe one, but then I said "Oh man, I can't". She went "Alright then" and asked if she could still stay naked. I agreed with it. Then I went to the sauna, cold sauna, with all my clothes on. She came in, half-naked with me thinking "Oh man I will never forget this, my mom warned me about this.". She wanted me to hold her in my arms, whatever happened after that is hazy to me, but I can be sure that I never had sex with her. This is what happens if you listen to your mom too much, but hey, I was 8.

[QUOTE=Garik;37576020]Okay, when I was 8, I had a "girlfriend". We'd always do some stuff together. Once when I was with her in her house, she got undressed and I was like "Oh my god my mom will not like this" in my head. She handed me her phone and wanted me to take pictures of her pussy. I took maybe one, but then I said "Oh man, I can't". She went "Alright then" and asked if she could still stay naked. I agreed with it. Then I went to the sauna, cold sauna, with all my clothes on. She came in, half-naked with me thinking "Oh man I will never forget this, my mom warned me about this.". She wanted me to hold her in my arms, whatever happened after that is hazy to me, but I can be sure that I never had sex with her. This is what happens if you listen to your mom too much, but hey, I was 8.[/QUOTE] Your fantasies don't count as embarrassing stories.

[QUOTE=Apache249;37576048]Your fantasies don't count as embarrassing stories.[/QUOTE] Why would I lie about being 8, being close to having some level of "sex" and not knowing shit about sexuality.

[QUOTE=Garik;37576058]Why would I lie about being 8, being close to having some level of "sex" and not knowing shit about sexuality.[/QUOTE] An attempt to get ratings... [editline]7th September 2012[/editline] The way it was written makes me believe you dreamt it up.

Have you ever been trolled by your parents? When I was young, I used to love dancing, before I took up sports. I watched movies which consisted of dancing. My favourite type of dancing was tap-dancing because you really had to move your feet alot and you get good rhythmic sounds. Take note, this was when I was 7. Because I just loved tap dancing, I asked my mum to sign me up into tap dancing. But my mum had different options. She suggested I just learn piano or learn swimming so I don't drown the next time I enter the pool. I told her tap dancing was the way to go. As a troll she was, she signed me up for Girls Ballet Classes but told me I was doing tapdancing. So when I arrived at the dance studio on the day, all I could see were girls in really pale pink dresses dancing on their tip-toes. I asked the teacher as I entered. I asked her, isn't today a tap dancing class? The teacher said no. I was confused and I asked her to check once more. She looked through the register and said that I was signed up for Girls Ballet. This isn't even the worst part yet. My school had a policy where if you signed up for an activity you are committed for 3 months of it before you can call it quits. My dance teacher being a lesbian didn't know that I was a boy which was quite scary. She gave me a dress for girls and the standard ballet shoes. I had to ballet for 3 months wearing girl's clothes when girls I thought were really pretty back then were also involved. I hate what my mum has done ever since. In the end when I was around 15, she confessed up that the reason why I did ballet was because she thought it was funny and tap-dancing wasn't available at my age at that time. Christ mum, could have told me then honestly.

this place needs more "meme" arrows >Be 16 >Wearing most prized possession >Spiderman Underwear >Go to Doctor >Have an appointment >Tells me to go upstairs to other doctor this time >Go Upstairs >Go inside >Hot Blonde Bombshell Doctor waiting for me >Tells me to take off my tshirt >Underwears up to my bellybutton >Marvel Comics logo is showing >Try to pull them down fast >Start Sweating Spaghetti sauce >Rip off trousers by accident >Room begins to fill up with sauce >Why did I wear my Spiderman Underwear >Everyone's dead >Fuckin hate spiderman right now [highlight](User was banned for this post ("Meme reply" - Craptasket))[/highlight]

[QUOTE=Deathhunter;37576786]Have you ever been trolled by your parents?[/QUOTE] I find this to be incredibly mean and very disencouraging, that decision could have changed your future.

[QUOTE=badMedia;37577627]this place needs more [B]"meme" arrows[/B][/QUOTE] Are you for real?

I had a couple approach me during work yesterday, asking me if this mattress pad for pets would be suitable for their coming unborn child. I didn't really know what to say and I just listened to the two argue for about a good seven or so minutes before I gave them directions to a nearby mall.

[QUOTE=badMedia;37577627]this place needs more "meme" arrows[/QUOTE] No

Walked onstage at a national FBLA (Future Business Leaders of America) competition thing to accept my award. Standing there, people start pointing and laughing, so I'm like "...what?". ...Then I look down, and my fly is down and my dick is almost peeking out. I pokerface and zip it up and pretend nothing else happened. I got complimented later on how I handled it :v:

[QUOTE=badMedia;37577627]this place needs more "meme" arrows >Be 16 >Wearing most prized possession >Spiderman Underwear >Go to Doctor >Have an appointment >Tells me to go upstairs to other doctor this time >Go Upstairs >Go inside >Hot Blonde Bombshell Doctor waiting for me >Tells me to take off my tshirt >Underwears up to my bellybutton >Marvel Comics logo is showing >Try to pull them down fast >Start Sweating Spaghetti sauce >Rip off trousers by accident >Room begins to fill up with sauce >Why did I wear my Spiderman Underwear >Everyone's dead >Fuckin hate spiderman right now[/QUOTE] 2 things: 1. It's called greentext 2. Get out

[QUOTE=silverhawk79;37578282]Walked onstage at a national FBLA (Future Business Leaders of America) competition thing to accept my award. Standing there, people start pointing and laughing, so I'm like "...what?". ...Then I look down, and my fly is down and my dick is almost peeking out. I pokerface and zip it up and pretend nothing else happened. I got complimented later on how I handled it :v:[/QUOTE] I'd have probably died on the spot.