Embarrassing Situations Thread V1.0 - Oh, the shame! - General

I was taking a piss in the bathroom at school once. I looked over, to find that my teacher was staring at me through a crack in the door. So I panicked and accidentally pissed all over the floor as she fled. Not sure if it was more embarrassing for her or me. If you want to hear more, just ask. I try to forget about this.

I was in Junior High eating lunch with my friends. I had bought a blue drink with my lunch and one of my friends grabbed it and said "I'm going to grab a drink" This made me angry cause he usually never bought anything with his own money and just ate other people's food. I told him "Don't drink it" and he did anyways. So once he gave it back to me I opened it and splashed it all over him and his white pull over shirt. He looks at me like I just made the biggest mistake of my life. He grabs someones little pouch of ranch dressing and throws it at me. It was quite of bit of ranch and it spread all over the front of my shirt so I started walking to the restroom to wash it off. I had to walk through the rest of the cafeteria because we sat in the back, the "cool" kids sit in the back. So many masturbation/semen/gay jokes were made in that long walk. It was the longest walk of my life. Also I smelled like ranch dressing for the rest of the day.

[QUOTE=Dah-thla;37610484]ranch dressing...[b]masturbation/semen/gay[/b][/QUOTE] yum.

One day i was having these really wet farts. Like skid mark makers. Huge ones. So I decide I should bring some underwear to school just incase something happens there. I unknowingly leave my backpack unzipped as i walk to my desk. I get my stuff out and put my backpack away in my cubby when I hear a loud "Eww!" come from where my desk was. My whitey tightys had fallen out! I could feel my face go red. But I knew I had to keep from being caught and known as the kid who dropped his underwear in class so I go along with everyone else saying "eww!" and such. The teacher comes in and looks at it and says that maybe the janitors used it to clean. I know otherwise That was probably one of my potentially most embarrassing moments. I was lucky the teacher didn't see the black J my mom marked on them to know if their mine or my brothers. I was also lucky no one saw them drop out of my backpack.

Hah, just had another text related situation: a couple of nights ago me and some close friends were Playing pool and everyone were making these really childish sexual references all through the night. And everyone were saying "yeah make sure you don't put the black one in the wrong whole" and it was really funny at the time (yes alcohol does that to us). But i was just gonna text a friend since he was gonna go on a date with some girl. So i type up "be careful with the black one, don't put it in the wrong hole..." This would have been fun, except i sent it to my mum instead. So i instantly get a reply...: "are you ok? Are you giving Anna tips about vibrators? Want to talk?" (Anna is my ex) I just replied "i'm ok, it was a joke meant for [friends name]" and then comes the reply: "is he seeing a black guy? How good for him :D :D :D" I still haven't replied.

your mom sounds awesome

every time this guy posts a story i can't help but laugh because of the wording and semi-broken english that being sad you're the greatest please post more often @beanz

[QUOTE=CritNick;37611283]every time this guy posts a story i can't help but laugh because of the wording and semi-broken english that being sad you're the greatest please post more often @beanz[/QUOTE] Complaining about grammer and then talking without capital's? Their is something that is sad.

So last year, I was in Jazz Band, and since I was pretty much top Trombonist in the school I had a solo with a high G in it (a challenge for me to get up to but I can still play it.) I was worried about not hitting the note right, but instead of not hitting the note the night of the concert, something even worse happened. [i]the god damn slide flew off[/i] So there I am, in the middle of my solo after whipping my slide out to hit a C, and WHOOSH there goes the super slide off to save lois lane and then I just sorta awkwardly sat back down and tried putting the slide back on. If I could type out the sound my Trombone made during the solo it'd be "Bwaah bwaah bwah bwuh bwuh bWEUUUGRRRRRRRRBBBBMMMMM oh shit my slide just flew off"

[QUOTE=CritNick;37611283]every time this guy posts a story i can't help but laugh because of the wording and semi-broken english that being sad you're the greatest please post more often @beanz[/QUOTE] English is not everyone's first language.

It was some time around when I started high school. I was walking and talking with one of my friends and he left to the cafeteria to get some food. I was walking with my head sideways just saying bye etc etc and recommending food. I keep walking forward. BOOMF. Right into the tits of a Year 11 (the oldest in school) I was oh so embarrassed. I just mumbled 'sorry' and kept walking. Fucking. Embarrassing. Another: Me and some friends were doing prank calls outside school because we were bored (This was my last year). Anyway one of them decides it would be funny to ask someone about membership to a gay nightclub. Transcript of the call: Friend: Hello? Person: Hello this is [weird name here] how can I help? Friend: We are looking for members for a gay nightclub and we wonder if you can join. Person: I'm not gay Friend: But it's so fun putting dicks in other men's asses Person: May I just say that that is completely inappropriate! *Person hangs up*

Today. After college I had some friends round. Quite a few us in my room and my bed broke, my friend was sitting at the end of my bed leaning on the wall next to it, then it just slid right and the whole bottom end collapsed, and my friend fell in this little gap between my bed and the little chair at the end of my bed that I drowned in pillows. He's not fat just really well built and heavy. So it took us ages to get him out. Then my sister called me from downstairs and told me dinner was ready so all my friends got ready to leave, after most were ready, as I got out of my chair to open the door and as I passed, my friend nipple crippled me so I tried to get him back but he moved my hands out of the way, so I stopped playing with him and opened the door, then he tried to do again but I pushed his arm out of the way and I grabbed his whole tit and twisted it pretty hard, so then he starts doing this little punches which weren't making any contact so I copied him and he like leaned forward as I did this little swing in the air and it hit him so fucking hard in the nose. His nose pissed out blood and it's all over my carpet :( I was instantly like shit and grabbed a light blue towel which is now mixed in with a fuckload of blood. Also complained a lot about all the blood on his shirt.

[QUOTE=SiMoN 23259;37607307]On a hot day not too long ago, my friend and I took to our bikes in order to try and keep fit. In a hurry I grabbed an empty bottle and filled it with water to take with us on this long journey, it did not occur to me at the time just what I had done. Half way up a huge hill on our bikes we were getting tired and at the top we agreed to have a drink, this was a posh neighbourhood that we had decided to stop in. I pulled out the bottle filled with water and started drinking from it when I noticed entire families in their cars slowing down and giving me the most bemused look, some looked disgusted, some looked like they wanted to join in and some were probably telling their kids not to end up like we were, passing a bottle of smirnoff vodka between us at 10:30am. At least 20 cars went by and it was only after we put it away that we realised why we were getting dirty looks.[/QUOTE] I swear to god, I've seen this exact story somewhere earlier in this thread or just around here in FP. Repost by the same guy? [B]EDIT - Emergency Page King content [/B]When I was younger and my sperm was strong, I ejaculated after a good fap and hit myself in the chin. I underestimated my ability to control my jizz and thus ended up giving myself a facial. I remember going to the bathroom and staring at myself in the mirror in shame.

[QUOTE=Cpl.Shepherd;37618959] [B]EDIT - Emergency Page King content [/B][/QUOTE] I laughed really hard at this and I have no idea why.

I was on holiday in France about ten years ago so I was about nine or ten years old. I woke up as usual had my breakfast and went down to the water park. I was swimming around minding my own business when I felt my stomach rumbling like a V12 engine, I thought to myself "I need to shit!" So I started to swim towards the side of the pool when, suddenly, a gastro intestinal explosion big enough to compete with an eruption of Mt. Vesuvius came barreling out of my colon. I watched in horror as the brown sludge spread from my anus throughout the pool and people pointed and shouted "Get outta the pool." I then swam through this festering pile of shite and climbed out in front of everybody and ran to the shower block and cleaned myself down while crying. I left the shower block never to return to that pool again.

Most embarrassing moment in my life.

[QUOTE=Cpl.Shepherd;37618959] When I was younger and my sperm was strong, I ejaculated after a good fap and hit myself in the chin. I underestimated my ability to control my jizz and thus ended up giving myself a facial. I remember going to the bathroom and staring at myself in the mirror in shame.[/QUOTE] Hasn't everyone done this at some point?

One time I was at Lowe's with my sister and my mom. I was about 7 then and my sister was probably 4 or 5. We got in line to pay for our stuff and the man standing in front of us was rather large. My sister pulled on my mom's skirt, looked up at her, and said VERY loudly, "Momma, that man sure does have a LONG bottom!" The man never turned around, but he tensed up visibly in front of us. I was only 7 but i still realized how bad that was.

[QUOTE=Justin Case;37620713]Hasn't everyone done this at some point?[/QUOTE] I take it from the disagrees that I've just supplied yet another embarrassing situation.

Oh jesus i just remembered one of the most embarrassing situation of my early childhood. I was about 6 years old and i spent most of my evenings in the Kindergarten playing outside at the playground waiting for my parents to pick me up. So, i was spending time outside with my friends as i saw a girl i had a crush on swinging on the swing. I was a year younger than her and if i got her to like me back, then i would be the coolest kid in KD. I sneaked nonchalantly behing her and tried to help her pick up some speed by pushing her. (That was the best idea i could think of to get her to like me) So, i grabbed her shoulders and started to push her, but she twitched and let go of the swing in suprise and i basically pushed her off the swing, causing her to faceplant into the mud below. I stood in shock of what had just happened and i panicked hard as i heard sobbing coming from her, causing the pussy child that i was to just walk off trying to pretend nothing happened. (She was at the swings alone so i thought that there were no withnesses, or so i thought) Skip past half a hour and her parents came to see her sobbing on the stairs. She told her parents that she was pushed off the swing and the parents immediately started asking who had done this act of evil. After a bit of asking around one girl who had seen what id done pointed to me and as soon as she did these two HUMONGOUS buckets of lard came "running" towards me SCREAMING my name and that id apologise. I bolted to the backyard, went into the KD building and locked myself in a bathroom stall waiting for my parents for an hour. I eventually apologised, but i couldn't look her or her parents in the eyes ever since.

I was trying to get into my house today, so I opened the door and moved in. But my foot decided to be an asshole and block the door so it didn't open all the way and I slammed the side of my face into the door. My house was full of guests. Got a bruise now :C

Today at dinner I was trying to ask my mom at which cemetery my great grandmother was buried, but I accidentally asked her where my grandmother was buried instead. My grandmother, though still alive, was only a few days ago diagnosed with (terminal) stage 3b small cell lung cancer, so my mom broke into tears when I unintentionally mentioned the future prospect of my her mom being buried. I guess it's not really embarrassing but I felt awful [editline]12th September 2012[/editline] I can't believe my grandmother is dying

In fourth grade I went to spend the weekend on an old ship with my class. We did various activities that a shipmate would do and all that fun stuff. Before doing anything though, the captain of the ship and all the other shipmates informed the class that you shouldn't go to the bathroom or they'll punish you or some shit. (Can't really remember, but I know I didn't want to go to the bathroom because I was scared of getting in trouble.)So what I did was actually try to hold my piss on one of the days we stayed on the ship Of course I couldn't. I ended up taking a piss while everyone was sitting down on the deck at morning. When I realized I was pissing, I tried so hard to stop it but of course that's like impossible to fucking do. I don't know to this day if people knew I pissed my pants, but because there were small puddles of water on deck I felt that my puddle of piss blended in with them.

[QUOTE=PenguinKris;37636828]In fourth grade I went to spend the weekend on an old ship with my class. We did various activities that a shipmate would do and all that fun stuff. Before doing anything though, the captain of the ship and all the other shipmates informed the class that you shouldn't go to the bathroom or they'll punish you or some shit. (Can't really remember, but I know I didn't want to go to the bathroom because I was scared of getting in trouble.)So what I did was actually try to hold my piss on one of the days we stayed on the ship Of course I couldn't. I ended up taking a piss while everyone was sitting down on the deck at morning. When I realized I was pissing, I tried so hard to stop it but of course that's like impossible to fucking do. I don't know to this day if people knew I pissed my pants, but because there were small puddles of water on deck I felt that my puddle of piss blended in with them.[/QUOTE] Did your shorts/pants dampen and change color? Or were you wearing athletic shorts?

Being stuck in my girlfriend's car because the door refused to unlock.

[QUOTE=Chaotic Lord;37639639]Being stuck in my girlfriend's car because the door refused to unlock.[/QUOTE] [b]MOTHER-FUCKING CHILD SAFETY LOCKS[/b]

[QUOTE=ScreamingGerbil;37633292]But my foot decided to be an asshole[/QUOTE] Interesting morphology.

oh god i just remembered something that happened when i was 15. i can't believe i forgot about it because it is essentially the perfect embarrassing situation. anyway... me and this girl were seeing each other and it was a fairly young relationship so we had just started having sex. so we're in bed and she's sitting on my face and i'm licking her like it was the end of days. needless to say my young and eager body was in full on-mode and my love stick was raised. Now what i imagine must have happened is that my dick must have been swaying or nodding up and down slightly because all of a sudden i feel this excruciating pain spreading from my rod. her cursed cat probably thought that my love column was some form of prey to be killed by all means. i let out this roar from the bottom of my lungs which frightened the girl and in her panic she let out the mother of all farts and the cat fucker just latched on even [I]deeper[/I] on my poor banana. at this point i flew up out of bed which resulted in the girl flying head first into the wall with a bang while i still had that blasted little predator digging claws deeper into my meat. i tried to pull the fucker off of me but all that did was end me up in a world of pain with a clawed up penis that bled profusely. we had to go to the emergency room for some patching and a shot. it took us a while to explain what had happened, what with me sitting there with a bloody crotch and my girlfriend with a black eye and a concussion from her meeting with the concrete wall. not a single person at the hospital could keep a straight face when we told them what had happened. although an hilarious story, it's not [I]really[/I] an embarrassing one yet right? well add in both of our parents arriving scared to death because the dick of a doctor that called them had told them something like "well your son/daughter has hurt him/herself and it's important that you get here." and when our parents had asked him what had happened he had just said something like "it's best that they explain that themselves..." but anyway, they get there and after calming down a bit after they saw we were ok, all four of them thought it was the best idea ever to get to know each other and joke openly about what had happened. i mean it was bad enough that her parents just found out that i was staking their daughter, now my mum and dad were standing there joking about it. all creatures are since banned from any premises where i wield my penis. i still have scars :c

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;36849404]i am. i'm also female, i like to think it's not so weird for me to hold a stuffed animal or cry[/QUOTE] "I'm female" -Guy Mannly.

[QUOTE=mac338;37640690]"I'm female" -Guy Mannly.[/QUOTE] what?? i always thought she was a he, how could he be she if she acts like he