Embarrassing Situations Thread V1.0 - Oh, the shame! - General

[QUOTE=Beanz;37640679]oh god i just remembered something that happened when i was 15. i can't believe i forgot about it because it is essentially the perfect embarrassing situation. anyway... me and this girl were seeing each other and it was a fairly young relationship so we had just started having sex. so we're in bed and she's sitting on my face and i'm licking her like it was the end of days. needless to say my young and eager body was in full on-mode and my love stick was raised. Now what i imagine must have happened is that my dick must have been swaying or nodding up and down slightly because all of a sudden i feel this excruciating pain spreading from my rod. her cursed cat probably thought that my love column was some form of prey to be killed by all means. i let out this roar from the bottom of my lungs which frightened the girl and in her panic she let out the mother of all farts and the cat fucker just latched on even [I]deeper[/I] on my poor banana. at this point i flew up out of bed which resulted in the girl flying head first into the wall with a bang while i still had that blasted little predator digging claws deeper into my meat. i tried to pull the fucker off of me but all that did was end me up in a world of pain with a clawed up penis that bled profusely. we had to go to the emergency room for some patching and a shot. it took us a while to explain what had happened, what with me sitting there with a bloody crotch and my girlfriend with a black eye and a concussion from her meeting with the concrete wall. not a single person at the hospital could keep a straight face when we told them what had happened. although an hilarious story, it's not [I]really[/I] an embarrassing one yet right? well add in both of our parents arriving scared to death because the dick of a doctor that called them had told them something like "well your son/daughter has hurt him/herself and it's important that you get here." and when our parents had asked him what had happened he had just said something like "it's best that they explain that themselves..." but anyway, they get there and after calming down a bit after they saw we were ok, all four of them thought it was the best idea ever to get to know each other and joke openly about what had happened. i mean it was bad enough that her parents just found out that i was staking their daughter, now my mum and dad were standing there joking about it. all creatures are since banned from any premises where i wield my penis.[/QUOTE] None of your stories really seem all that embarrassing because they always end with people laughing about them.

Embarrassing moments can sneak up on you and hit you when you least expect it, hard. Something i learned one day when casually opening a door in my house. A door wich i have opened tens of thousands of times before. But this time was different. Now, let me ask you something. How do you open a door? You reach out and grab the handle/knob/whatever. Sometimes with speed, slightly lunging yourself forward. It happenes so many times you dont even care to think about it. But when i did just this, the uthinkable happened. I missed the handle. My hand slid down the door as my face slammed against it with great force and my face went numb as my nose started spurting blood. My legs went limb and i collapsed on the floor. I had to sit down for a few seconds to realise what had happened. Ever since then, i trust no one, nothing, not even the door in my hallway. They're all out to get me.

There was this one time, back when I was 11. I had not learned the skill of masturbation yet. But I had large sexual desire and loved porn. I did, however, make myself orgasm and cum by placing a small wooden table onto my balls, and put additional weight on it in form of pillows and whatever else was nearby. The sensation burned, and was overall very pleasing. This was my way to masturbate. So to the story. I was 13 and had an internet girlfriend. I had recoreded her webcam using some capture software, and had the video placed on my monitor. I felt like I wanted to do something else than masturbating this time. I wanted the sensation from back then. I then put myself on the floor, behind the couch that was standing in front of the door. I put the table on my balls and was lying there as always. Enjoying the sensation, and dragging the table further down. Suddenly my door opens, and my dad comes in asking for a windows CD. He decides to go into my room, stands on the other side of the couch and looks down on me, interrupting whatever he said. He looked shocked at me, and then left my room. I didn't talk to him for a week. Ever since he has been knocking before entering my room. And this was the only time that I did it, where I didn't lock my door. Oh, and it can't be healthy to do what I did. One time I felt a crack in me cock from doing it, since the foreskin is pulled down by the tables weight. No wonder I broke the string having sex with my girlfriend when I was 18, I had destroyed the thing in my youth. I have to admit though, I miss that burning hot sensation in both balls and my cock. It was just something else.

[QUOTE=Blackwater;37643802]I miss that burning hot sensation in both balls and my cock. It was just something else.[/QUOTE] uh huh

This happened last year. I was sitting at the table with a couple friends when one of them found a bottle of water to clean tables off with. This cute girl walked by and she was talking to a friend, and she leaned over. My friend from across the room sprayed the bottle and it landed all over her back and pants. He slid the bottle over to me, me being clueless I grabbed the bottle and started messing around with it. She looked at me extremely pissed off and all my friends pointed at me and laughed.

[QUOTE=HazzaHardie;37606972]not a situation just something that's embarrassing about me in general, I cant laugh, I can only giggle like a girl[/QUOTE] My laugh kinda sound like a mix of Heavy and Sniper from TF2, and it has gotten me quite a lot of weird looks.

[QUOTE=Gears of duty;37644970]My laugh kinda sound like a mix of Heavy and Sniper from TF2, and it has gotten me quite a lot of weird looks.[/QUOTE] I laugh like the spy, snort and all. this often causes people to laugh at my laugh.

[QUOTE=ewitwins;37639949][b]MOTHER-FUCKING CHILD SAFETY LOCKS[/b][/QUOTE] No, it has one of those handles on the inside where it is [I]supposed[/I] to unlock when you pull it to open the door, but the unlocking part is broken, so she has to use the switch to unlock it, and that doesn't always work, so I end up sitting there while she keeps hitting the switch, waiting for it to finally unlock. I don't even know if it has the child-safety locks. Aren't those usually just in the back, anyway?

-snip-

I was in 4th or 5th grade at the time. We usually went by this one room that had Lego and K'Nex in it at some point during the day to build stuff, I think they called it the Architecture room. Well this day we were watching some foreign movie about a kid who was an alien but didn't know it, and I found the end of the movie touching, and being the pussy I was back in the day I started crying at the touching ending. Well while still crying about the end, I go up to the teacher and say "We didn't get to go to the architecture room." because I really liked that room at the time, and he looked at me like I was some kind of baby and said "Oh grow up." I was flabbergasted, I thought my teacher had basically called me a pussy. I'm not sure if I ever explained I wasn't being a baby about that room, and that I was reacting to the ending of the movie.

One day in school canteen was selling Ice Tea's for $1. My friend bought one and tasted it and said it was horrible, I checked the best before date on the bottle and it said "Best before: whateveritwas". I was outraged, the canteen was selling drinks 3 months over the date! I was so shocked I threw the bottle on the floor, I did not expect the bottle to burst and explode all over everyone. You know what was worse? The principal of the school was standing right behind me......

[QUOTE=Leader of Me;37649474]One day in school canteen was selling Ice Tea's for $1. My friend bought one and tasted it and said it was horrible, I checked the best before date on the bottle and it said "Best before: whateveritwas". I was outraged, the canteen was selling drinks 3 months over the date! I was so shocked I threw the bottle on the floor, I did not expect the bottle to burst and explode all over everyone. You know what was worse? The principal of the school was standing right behind me......[/QUOTE] Well, it WAS stupid to throw the bottle. maybe take some anger mangement or something.

Had to fart, theres only friend and I in a room, I say 'Listen' then I fart It is loud as fuck. Hes 'wooooouw'. A bit embarassed, but broud! P:

[QUOTE=Cpl.Shepherd;37618959]I swear to god, I've seen this exact story somewhere earlier in this thread or just around here in FP. Repost by the same guy? [B]EDIT - Emergency Page King content [/B]When I was younger and my sperm was strong, I ejaculated after a good fap and hit myself in the chin. I underestimated my ability to control my jizz and thus ended up giving myself a facial. I remember going to the bathroom and staring at myself in the mirror in shame.[/QUOTE] hoooot

Yesterday I went to my grandma's house. There is a garden in front of it, surrounded by old rusty fences and door. The rust was blocking the door junctions and I had to ram it to enter the garden. Someone in the street thought I was a burglar and called the cops.

Something that happend to me last Monday on our first school day :DD We didn't know that we had sports that day so we had to play Speed Ball ( don't let the ball touch your field 3 times in a row ) with our normal clothes . So I had these pants on [URL="http://www.velvet-shop.de/media/catalog/product/j/a/jack_and_jones_jeans_bolton_mid_blue.jpg"]http://www.velvet-shop.de/media/catalog/product/j/a/jack_and_jones_jeans_bolton_mid_blue.jpg[/URL] and totally fall on my Face . When I stood up I noticed that my jeans and boxer short weren't around my butt anymore ... embarrasing was that shit :DDD

Once I was ill and had to come home from school, my mother being the parent god she is decided to not pick me up and make a 30 minute walk, 5 minute ferry trip and a 30 minute bus journey to get home, anyway whilst waiting for the bus there was one guy and me... I chundered...everywhere and through puke dribble and those involuntary tears from puking asked him for a tissue, he looked at me with a massive pity face and said "No." Then it happened again I managed to get to the wall to puke over it into a nearby car pack below it and a group of 7 German tourists walked past - all looking at me like I was the reason they were visiting South West England, then after an hour wait for a replacement bus - the first one broke down as it got to my stop, I got on the bus and sat at the back by myself which provided me the benefit of farting quietly to myself (:>) and I took advantage, well tried to. Halfway home I was feeling a little better and got a bit cocky with my flatulence and let rip we hit a bump and well, I felt it run down my leg, into my sock. I had shit like rusty water stinking out a bus in my sock. I got home showered and cried, worst day of my life. The moral: Remember - Stay In School Kids.

Today I learned one of my ex was a trap. She gave me some blowjobs. [IMG]http://i.somethingawful.com/forumsystem/emoticons/emot-stare.gif[/IMG]

[QUOTE=Maruhai;37654007]Today I learned one of my ex was a trap. She gave me some blowjobs. [IMG]http://i.somethingawful.com/forumsystem/emoticons/emot-stare.gif[/IMG][/QUOTE] Woah woah. Am I missing a previous post? If not, elaborate.

[QUOTE=Sourcegamer8;37654044]Woah woah. Am I missing a previous post? If not, elaborate.[/QUOTE] You didn't miss anything, everything is in this post. I just learned today that I got my dick sucked by a trap.

[QUOTE=Maruhai;37654057]You didn't miss anything, everything is in this post. I just learned today that I got my dick sucked by a trap.[/QUOTE] That's a creative way to use something that is usually used to catch an animal *BA DUM DUM TSS*

Trap as dickgirls I mean.

[QUOTE=Maruhai;37654217]Trap as dickgirls I mean.[/QUOTE] So you have genitals in common! I'll bet you were really cute together.

[QUOTE=Maruhai;37654007]Today I learned one of my ex was a trap. She gave me some blowjobs. [IMG]http://i.somethingawful.com/forumsystem/emoticons/emot-stare.gif[/IMG][/QUOTE] Wow you're lucky, I bet she was so nice

[QUOTE=Maruhai;37654007]Today I learned one of my ex was a trap. She gave me some blowjobs. [IMG]http://i.somethingawful.com/forumsystem/emoticons/emot-stare.gif[/IMG][/QUOTE] nice

[QUOTE=Krinkels;37654518]So you have genitals in common! I'll bet you were really cute together.[/QUOTE] Hey look, we're matching!

When I was really young and at the beach, I told my father I had to go to the restroom, and he told me to just go in the ocean. Interpreting that really badly, I walked up to the edge of the water and pissed directly into the water, with 3 people staring in awe.

[QUOTE=Maruhai;37654007]Today I learned one of my ex was a trap. She gave me some blowjobs. [IMG]http://i.somethingawful.com/forumsystem/emoticons/emot-stare.gif[/IMG][/QUOTE] You got any pictures of her?

A bird pooped on my shorts today. I feel so ashamed.

[QUOTE=Maruhai;37654057]You didn't miss anything, everything is in this post. I just learned today that I got my dick sucked by a trap.[/QUOTE] I mean absolutely no offense or anything by this, and I'm completely asking for the sake of curiosity: How does a relationship progress so far that you get your dick sucked without ever getting the other person to take their pants off?