Embarrassing Situations Thread V1.0 - Oh, the shame! - General

[QUOTE=Jawyen;37805083]Falling alseep while fapping clearly makes you gay. My parents found me once, holding my dick with pants down, asleep. They now think I'm gay.[/QUOTE] [img]http://puu.sh/18KSH[/img] uhm

[QUOTE=Daddy-of-war;37751264]Man, I got so many of these... My best one I think so far is a sex one. My fiancee and I are having sex, this was way before we had gotten engaged. So I didn't have any condoms at the time, and we didn't give a fuck, so as I am pulling out I feel myself cum. I look on her stomach and noticed that there was no cum. "Oh fuck" I thought to myself. I looked at her pussy and tried to see if I came inside her, then I heard her "Sean...Sean" I looked up at her...some how my cock had turned in to a howitzer and fired a shot right at her face, covering a good 95% of her face in cum...she had this look of terror and confusion, which I find odd, because she swallows, but boy did I laugh hard...[/QUOTE] I had a similar experience, the lass was tossing us off and I was expecting to jizz across her tits, but shot her in the mouth. I wasn't embarrassed but it was funny [editline]26th September 2012[/editline] Which reminds me of the time I got more pissed than I had ever been before, this was about 6 months ago. I'd gone out with my girlfriend and her housemates, I got so trollied. Rather than write out a tale, I'll just list a few things that went down that night. Almost got in a fight because I was dancing all over in other peoples spaces and some chap didnt like this, my girlfriend pulled me away Drinking unattended drinks on bars and tables in the club Giving it to the bouncer when he was asking us to leave the beer garden and saying I just want to finish my cigarette Asking randoms on the street if they could get some gear whilst waiting for a taxi, I don't remember this but was told about it a few days ago Throwing a Christmas tree at my girlfriend Girlfriends housemate makes us a cheese toasty with some salad on the side, picked up the salad shouted "what the fuck is this" before throwing it on the floor Offering to make tea but only made myself one in a huge mug, then shouted at everyone when they stole it and passed it around, I don't remember this Getting emotional and arguing with my missus after everyone had gone to bed. I went to sit in the living room for five minutes but fell asleep, I was only wearing my dressing gown. My next memory was waking up in the morning slumped over the sofa, with my girlfriends housemates (all of them girls) all standing in the doorway, I was wearing my dressing gown still but my legs were open; knob and bollocks out. I got up and Strolled past them as if all was normal. I only found out the other day that one of them came down, saw me and got everyone else to witness my elegant testicles. Despite all this, the only thing I was embarrassed about from the night was my dancing. But it's cool, my girlfriend is still my girlfriend and her housemates are my housemates too now. I concede that I was a massive cunt that night but we still laugh about it. I don't know how I got so fucked but didn't have a hangover nor was I sick at all, my girlfriend thinks I might have drank a spiked drink.

So, This monday was the first day of a new year at uni. And it'll be one to remember. Well actually I don't remember anything, I'm basing everything off of stories other people told me. Anyway, on Monday September 24th, after class, our faculty's very own pub organised this 'free wine evening' kind of thing. Basically they gave you a cup when you got there and as soon as your cup gets about half empty they fill it up again. There were about 20 faculty members running around there with fuckin' ammo belts of wine bottles so you can imagine I wasn't going to get thirsty anytime soon. I must note that in the past few weeks, I've been going through a lot of shit, I mean damn. Had to redo about 10 exams so my summer holiday was non-existent, and two weeks ago, one of my best friends passed away unexpectedly. So yeah, I felt like getting shitfaced. So I get to the pub along with some friends at about 5:00 PM, many laughs were had, and a load of wine accompanied it. But things went downhill pretty fast, according to my friends the next day. I have no memory of anything that happenend between 6:00 PM and 10:00 PM, which is like, a pathetic hour to be completely wasted, but whatever. The next day I came across a lady friend, that was also there that evening, when I was walking to school. She told me the first of my endeavours that evening. She'd been laughing her ass off. Apparently I made my way to the first floor in the pub (which isn't even accessible for regular pub-goers) along with a friend, climbed out of the window and shouted in front the crowd that was standing outside the pub, something along the lines of: [I]"HEY SHIT DICKS, ARE WE GONNA HAVE A PARTY OR WHAT, I KNOW I WILL!"[/I] Then I got back outside, don't know how I managed that because I could barely stand on my legs according to another friend. I'd been hugging random strangers and on top of that, apparently made out with a chick that's in my year as well, even though she didn't seem drunk, and has a boyfriend for over a year, others said. Mfw I heard about that. It must have been about 8:00 PM at that time, when a couple of my friends wanted to go grab a burger but apparently I insisted I was going to have peanut butter jelly sandwiches at Charlotte's dorm (another lady friend). Which is very strange because I [B]NEVER[/B] skip an opportunity to stuff myself with fast-food. So my friends left and then Charlotte and a couple of her friends dragged me to her dorm. Another friend of hers, Ellen, was also in a pretty bad condition... As soon as we made into her dorm, me and Ellen proceeded to barf fucking everywhere. And when I say everywhere, I mean [I]everywhere[/I]. Her sofa, some of her cooking pots, her carpet, her bed, nothing was spared. I didn't even make it to her bathroom. I remember the smell of lasagne that Ellen had been eating that day. Nasty. So me and Ellen, the fantastic barf-duo, were laying down shaking in Charlotte's bed. More barfing episodes ensued. Finally, at about 10:00 PM, my stomach was drained, and I could walk again, sort of. Two of her friends brought me to my own dorm which was luckily only a few blocks away. One of them wrote her phone number down along with a couple things I had to do when I'd wake up the next day, which is cute. Needless to say I feel embarassed to death. I went over to Charlotte's to apologise the next day (Ellen was still laying K.O. in her bed at that time) and amazingly enough she was okay with it. The smell however when I got inside was un-fucking-believably bad. And yesterday, I came across the chick that I had supposedly been making out with that day. She's a 6/10 at best, so I don't feel so bad I didn't remember any of that. Totally ignored her though. My god.

[QUOTE=tratzzz;37786163]I am underage :c[/QUOTE] Even better!

Puked on my sister's bed after blacking out at about 2AM at my own damn party. Why didn't they let me sleep on the porch, fuck. Also, never get crossfaded. Once was enough for me.

don't do the alcohols children

[QUOTE=W0w00t;37806804]don't do the alcohols children[/QUOTE] No fun allowed

not really that bad, but today I got up late so I quickly put on some clothes and went to school, it was only when I got there that I realised I forgot to put underwear on, thankfully nothing came of it, but I was pretty nervous the whole day

[QUOTE=adam1172;37804908]Didn't do my maths homework so during break time I stayed in class copying my friends work while eating a granola bar and drinking tea (eating and drinking is not allowed in class for "hygenic" reasons) suddenly my maths teacher walks in, stares at me and I stare back at her eating the bar slowly like an advertisement. She gave me a very big "busted" smile.[/QUOTE] But how can you copy math homework if you're blind?

[QUOTE=Medevilae;37814181]Not major but my right eye was clicking when I blinked it, bugged me all day.. happened to blink just my right eye while looking at English teacher[/QUOTE] What was his name?

Being called handsome by the passport control MAN in Vietnam when we were flying back home. He looked at me 'okay he's making sure I look like my passport photo. Looks down for a moment, back at me 'maybe he didn't get a good look at me'. He mutters something and looks down again. Another few moments later he looks up again. 'umm...' I thought. 'Sorry what?' I ask, maybe he asked me a question when he mumbled. 'Oh...just very handsome!' 'Thank you' Inside I was like 'oh god what'. Then my mum starts teasing me after with 'Go back and get his number!' I'm straight btw. Was a..interesting send off I must say

I once got a boner in PE. I was probably harder than a fucking block of lead. Picture this: O |_ ^ Lasted about 10 minutes. I was called 'Woody' for like 2 weeks after.

[QUOTE=007JamesBond007;37817768]I once got a boner in PE. I was probably harder than a fucking block of lead. Picture this: O |_ ^ Lasted about 10 minutes. I was called 'Woody' for like 2 weeks after.[/QUOTE] 'Woody' isn't that bad, at least it wasn't 'Flagpole' or 'Tripod'.

[QUOTE=samuel2213;37818759]'Woody' isn't that bad, at least it wasn't 'Flagpole' or 'Tripod'.[/QUOTE] I could live with the last. It implies all 3 appendages are of equal length.

Oh god PE and boner stories is just a bad combination. Back when I had PE in high school and middle school, we had to wear uniforms. The PE pants were extremely thin, soft, and silky. One day I forgot to wear underwear, and we had to run like 8 laps around the track that day or something like that. The constant rubbing motion on my dick brought out the monster within, and thus I ran 8 laps with a throbbing boner. The thin pants really bring out even the smallest features on your dick. The jokes and comments oh god I never heard the end of it. Not to mention PE was a coed class...so pretty much everyone got to witness the whole fiasco.

[QUOTE=Dominic0904;37817611]Being called handsome by the passport control MAN in Vietnam when we were flying back home. He looked at me 'okay he's making sure I look like my passport photo. Looks down for a moment, back at me 'maybe he didn't get a good look at me'. He mutters something and looks down again. Another few moments later he looks up again. 'umm...' I thought. 'Sorry what?' I ask, maybe he asked me a question when he mumbled. 'Oh...just very handsome!' 'Thank you' Inside I was like 'oh god what'. Then my mum starts teasing me after with 'Go back and get his number!' I'm straight btw. Was a..interesting send off I must say[/QUOTE] Can you post a picture of yourself so I can ''verify'' your handsomness?

[QUOTE=Dominic0904;37817611]Being called handsome by the passport control MAN in Vietnam when we were flying back home. He looked at me 'okay he's making sure I look like my passport photo. Looks down for a moment, back at me 'maybe he didn't get a good look at me'. He mutters something and looks down again. Another few moments later he looks up again. 'umm...' I thought. 'Sorry what?' I ask, maybe he asked me a question when he mumbled. 'Oh...just very handsome!' 'Thank you' Inside I was like 'oh god what'. Then my mum starts teasing me after with 'Go back and get his number!' I'm straight btw. Was a..interesting send off I must say[/QUOTE] There's nothing wrong with calling another man handsome.

Oh my God I just remembered. In Primary school, I must have been about eleven, and our teacher had brought in a new box of shatter-resistance rulers. We used them for drawing grids for some reason, and then we had lunch. Why I did what I did next is a mystery to me and everyone else. I walked into the classroom during lunch - we normally played outside in the playground - and saw my teacher sitting at her desk, on her laptop. And, lo and behold, the box of rulers next to her. I managed to take the rulers without her even noticing that I was in the classroom, and then proceeded to enter the school supply cupboard via the small gap at the bottom - I was quite a small kid back then. Now, I sat in this supply cupboard and took out one ruler at a time and snapped it in half. Even at the time, I did not know why I was doing this. I was about two thirds of the way through the pack when another teacher came into get something. She saw me, looked at me, then the rulers, then took them off me and took me to the headteacher without saying a word.

I remember in school when our class was reading a book, It was my turn to read a page and a word sounded so much like anal i just said anal. Everyone was like "did he just say anal?"

A couple years ago I was dating this girl and I was at her house, her family had a get-together or something and they all wanted to meet me. Anyways everything was nice and all, I'm pretty sure they liked me and they weren't a bad group of people either. So after dinner came dessert- no, not that, there's no sex in this story. Sorry. Anyways, they had pumpkin pie. You know pumpkin pie's the shit? It's the shit. Her grandmother was dishing us all up in the kitchen and all, and she handed me a plate and a piece of pie. She held the reddi whip up and just told me to say "when," to let her know how much was enough. Anyways the girl asked me something, so I looked away to see what she wanted. I don't remember really what it was, something about helping bring chairs up or something. And I guess that whole time I looked away and talked to my girlfriend her grandmother used the whole fucking can of reddi whip. I forgot to tell her "when." Needless to say, good damn pie. Good damn pie.

Another time was that, When i was in class with a friend (We Sit next to eachother) Everyone started talking because the teacher didn't give a shit, So i was talking to him about how i have erectile dysfunction ( I don't really, I was trying to start a conversation). And the teacher told us to shut up, Everyone went into complete silence but i had one more sentence to finish, I told him exactly this "Then my penis deflated". Nobody talks to me.

[QUOTE=Kabstrac;37825106]Wow what an excellent conversation starter[/QUOTE] Hell yeah right?

[QUOTE=Sleepy Head;37819889]One day I forgot to wear underwear[/QUOTE] What the hell

[QUOTE=Stinky;37825939]What the hell[/QUOTE] What does satan have to do with underwear?

[QUOTE=marcosppp;37825069]Another time was that, When i was in class with a friend (We Sit next to eachother) Everyone started talking because the teacher didn't give a shit, So i was talking to him about how i have erectile dysfunction ( I don't really, I was trying to start a conversation). And the teacher told us to shut up, Everyone went into complete silence but i had one more sentence to finish, I told him exactly this "Then my penis deflated". Nobody talks to me.[/QUOTE] I once was leaning back on one of the shitty wooden chairs we had in school while everyone was chattering to each other over the teacher. The teacher got mad and shouted "SHUT UP!" which caused everyone to go completely silent. After a couple of seconds of silence the chair falls apart beneath me and I fall to the ground with the sound of wood clattering everywhere along with me going "FUCK" rather loudly. Needless to say it broke the silence pretty well. I was a bit embarrassed because we were specifically told not to lean back on the chairs because everyone knew they were ancient and about to break. :v:

I fell asleep in class today. Didn't help that everybody was looking at me.

Yeah a similar situation happened to me the other day. For the past 5 years, math has always been my first period. At this time of morning I'm always super tired and as you can imagine I drift off into sleep fairly often. Anyways I believe it was on Monday that one of my worst incidents happened. As the teacher goes off with the lecture, I start closing and blinking my eyes, desperately trying to stay awake. I do not succeed. My chin touches my chest and my eyes are sealed shut. After some time I start to hear the faintest of laughter in the back of my subconscious. Eventually red-flags are going off in my mind trying to figure out what's going on. I slowly opened my eyes and to my horror people started yelling "He's awake!". Apparently, everyone had been watching me for the past 10 minutes. People were placing bets on when they thought I was going wake up and were messing around with me and trying to make subtle sounds to wake me up. God that was humiliating.

This story is not so embarrassing to me,but to my friend it is. So we were in class,minding our business when my friend asked me to take my phone. He wanted to take a picture of some girl or some other shit,so I gave him my phone. But I did forget something. I remembered after he took the picture. What was it? To turn of the flash,and the sound. The whole classroom went white with a nice sound of "Ch-click" for a second. The laughs we had (all of us except the teacher and my friend) lasted for like minutes. I laughed,that is until i remembered that i had to go to the headmaster's office to get my phone back.

[QUOTE=Idzo;37833138] He wanted to take a picture of some girl or some other shit,so I gave him my phone. [/QUOTE] not creepy at all

[QUOTE=Trunk Monkay;37833204]not creepy at all[/QUOTE] I think her cleavage was showing. So that must be it.