Embarrassing Situations Thread V1.0 - Oh, the shame! - General

[QUOTE=begotten;37884008]I was telling a joke in class: "Hey,do you wanna know what are two epileptics doing on a phone booth" A boy left the class crying. His brother had a seizure the last month. I felt like shit.[/QUOTE] I've had epilepsy, and the week before it went completely away I had maybe 5 or 6 seizures in 6-7 days. Only happened in the night, though, and there's many different forms of epilepsy. Worst I've got from one of those was a concussion, so I've been quite lucky.

I was home after school and I was alone because my mother was working and my stepfather was at a rally event. I was not taking chances and looked if a car of their's was still here and it wasnt. So I lurked around in my porn stash and found a perfect video. Turned my big LCD screen on with amasing suround system with high volume. Started doing my shit. Almost there. Heard something so I quickly stood up. ... And with my dick in my hand I stood infront of my stepfather with the porn behind me with full sound of a girl that was screaming for more cum. We looked at each other for around 10 seconds 'till he said: "I go out and fix the car". :v:

People seriously take risks like this when fapping?

[QUOTE=Kirbyfactor;37896689]People seriously take risks like this when fapping?[/QUOTE] Yes. A guy named Viktor in my old class was jerking off in the restroom at school. I was sneaking and I made a noise when I took the step and I could hear him stop.

[QUOTE=Toyhobo;37895962]I believe you have to revalue your skills of drunk women while drunk.[/QUOTE] Naw, why would I, I'm okay with women. Just not the right ones, that is. And while I'm at it, not so long ago I and my current girlfriend were at our faculty group's party. Both got wasted and decided to find ourselves a crazy drunk girl for threesome. We succeded, and here comes the embarrassing part - my soldier was avoiding his duties at the time. I couldn't bring myself to fuck that other girl. And what's the most awkward is that my girlfriend came up with a beutiful line: "well, that's your loss, I'm getting laid anyway". And she did. [b]EDIT:[/b] felt like the need to add that by the time I knew perfectly well that my gf is bisexual. When we were only at the flirtation stage she "accidentally" slipped something like "My ex-girlfriend smth-smth-smth", I was like WHAT THE FUCK. I felt like my world is coming apart, I like her so much, she's perfect for me - and she's lesbian?! Where is justice in this world??? She then looked at me kind of like "what a fucking idiot are you?" and said "calm down, I just like not being limited in choice". That time was silly too.

[QUOTE=Jocke;37896665]I was home after school and I was alone because my mother was working and my stepfather was at a rally event. I was not taking chances and looked if a car of their's was still here and it wasnt. So I lurked around in my porn stash and found a perfect video. Turned my big LCD screen on with amasing suround system with high volume. Started doing my shit. Almost there. Heard something so I quickly stood up. ... And with my dick in my hand I stood infront of my stepfather with the porn behind me with full sound of a girl that was screaming for more cum. We looked at each other for around 10 seconds 'till he said: "I go out and fix the car". :v:[/QUOTE] Did you continue?

[QUOTE=Jesienia;37896974]Did you continue?[/QUOTE] Nope

[QUOTE=Trunk Monkay;37833663]not creepy at all[/QUOTE]

I live in Denmark. The Game of Thrones series was launching in Danish television, and they started off with a 3 hour marathon of it. Me and my mom watched it in my couch in my room... for 3 hours... Worst. Mistake. Ever. :(

[QUOTE=Zar;37898520]I live in Denmark. The Game of Thrones series was launching in Danish television, and they started off with a 3 hour marathon of it. Me and my mom watched it in my couch in my room... for 3 hours... Worst. Mistake. Ever. :([/QUOTE] As long as you didn't get, ehhh, [I]inspired[/I] by the series, I don't really see the problem.

Today. I barely woke up at 6 AM from my slumber. Have class at 8 AM, train at 7 and mom just calls me to wake up. Get up, go through the hallway with eyes barely open. Max Payne face. Struggling my way to the bathroom for my morning crapfest. (It is very common for me to have diarrhea in the morning). I get to the toilet, pull my pants down, notice that there's this stream of cool air coming from the opened window on my right. turn 30º right to shut the window close. Forget to turn back -30º to original position sit miss toilet buttcheeks slam on the cold tile floor SLAP I bump my head on the wall and granfather hears it. Grandfather opens the door. I'm lying on the floor. Hair in a mess, eyes barely opened and my dick obscenely resting on my leg.

[QUOTE=Zar;37898520]I live in Denmark. The Game of Thrones series was launching in Danish television, and they started off with a 3 hour marathon of it. Me and my mom watched it in my couch in my room... for 3 hours... Worst. Mistake. Ever. :([/QUOTE] Friend of mine went and saw the movie "bruno" with his mother. Your pain wasn't NEARLY as bad as his was.

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;37898975]Today. I barely woke up at 6 AM from my slumber. Have class at 8 AM, train at 7 and mom just calls me to wake up. Get up, go through the hallway with eyes barely open. Struggling my way to the bathroom for my morning crapfest. (It is very common for me to have diarrhea in the morning). I get to the toilet, pull my pants down, notice that there's this stream of cool air coming from the opened window on my right. turn 30º right to shut the window close. Forget to turn back -30º to original position sit miss toilet buttcheeks slam on the cold tile floor SLAP I bump my head on the wall and granfather hears it. Grandfather opens the door. I'm lying on the floor. Hair in a mess, eyes barely opened and my dick obscenely resting on my leg.[/QUOTE] Well, at least there wasn't dhiarrea everywhere.

[QUOTE=mfb412;37899671]Well, at least there wasn't dhiarrea everywhere.[/QUOTE] Yeah while reading it I was all expectant "Ohhh, this dude is gonna shit all over the floor!" :v:

A few years ago I pissed in my bed. I consciously knew I was pissing in my own bed but I lacked the motivation to do anything about it because I was barely awake and I felt so damn comfy. When the gravity of the situation hit me with full force I shot up out of my bed, grabbed my sheets and blankets and immediately went to put them in the wash. I blamed it on my cat.

For the past year or so, whenever I get really nervous I start to reek of fecal matter. Nobody knows why and doctors are telling me that its probably all in my head (it isn't). I have lots of friends i'm not an awkward person but I rarely leave the house or have any drive to do anything at all anymore Yesterday, however, I decided, "fuck it, i'm fine right now I'm just gonna go chill and be happy". So me and my friend meet up and were on our way to meet up with some friends at a pizza place when all of a sudden I start reeking of fecal matter, i'm sweating all up and down my whole body i'm freaking out I dont know what to do when all of a sudden I find myself screaming.."STOP NIGGA THE LIGHTS RED" We're going about 60 through this intersection and I didn't have my seatbelt on, he probably slowed down to about 40mph before we ram the fuck out of the side of this car that was turning left. I still smell like shit, im stuck in this intersection, talking to cops and concerned people and they're all just giving me this sad look because they know I fucking reek. I'm sitting on the corner, and I just start bawling like some kind of pussy because there is a part of me that wishes I was thrown from the car. I reek in every college classroom I go into, people sniffing the air every second, glancing at me. I once walked into my English class a few weeks ago, my professor took a big whiff of air, looked me straight in the eyes and laughed. I smell like shit all the time. My life is an embarrassing moment and it's driving me into depression. I hope my post makes somebody feel better about their current situation, that way something good comes out of this fucking curse.

[QUOTE=pancaker94;37902786]For the past year or so, whenever I get really nervous I start to reek of fecal matter. Nobody knows why and doctors are telling me that its probably all in my head (it isn't). I have lots of friends i'm not an awkward person but I rarely leave the house or have any drive to do anything at all anymore Yesterday, however, I decided, "fuck it, i'm fine right now I'm just gonna go chill and be happy". So me and my friend meet up and were on our way to meet up with some friends at a pizza place when all of a sudden I start reeking of fecal matter, i'm sweating all up and down my whole body i'm freaking out I dont know what to do when all of a sudden I find myself screaming.."STOP NIGGA THE LIGHTS RED" We're going about 60 through this intersection and I didn't have my seatbelt on, he probably slowed down to about 40mph before we ram the fuck out of the side of this car that was turning left. I still smell like shit, im stuck in this intersection, talking to cops and concerned people and they're all just giving me this sad look because they know I fucking reek. I'm sitting on the corner, and I just start bawling like some kind of pussy because there is a part of me that wishes I was thrown from the car. I reek in every college classroom I go into, people sniffing the air every second, glancing at me. I once walked into my English class a few weeks ago, my professor took a big whiff of air, looked me straight in the eyes and laughed. I smell like shit all the time. My life is an embarrassing moment and it's driving me into depression. I hope my post makes somebody feel better about their current situation, that way something good comes out of this fucking curse.[/QUOTE] Go to your doctor, but with a load on your mind and thus a stench on your person.

[QUOTE=pancaker94;37902786]For the past year or so, whenever I get really nervous I start to reek of fecal matter. Nobody knows why and doctors are telling me that its probably all in my head (it isn't). I have lots of friends i'm not an awkward person but I rarely leave the house or have any drive to do anything at all anymore Yesterday, however, I decided, "fuck it, i'm fine right now I'm just gonna go chill and be happy". So me and my friend meet up and were on our way to meet up with some friends at a pizza place when all of a sudden I start reeking of fecal matter, i'm sweating all up and down my whole body i'm freaking out I dont know what to do when all of a sudden I find myself screaming.."STOP NIGGA THE LIGHTS RED" We're going about 60 through this intersection and I didn't have my seatbelt on, he probably slowed down to about 40mph before we ram the fuck out of the side of this car that was turning left. I still smell like shit, im stuck in this intersection, talking to cops and concerned people and they're all just giving me this sad look because they know I fucking reek. I'm sitting on the corner, and I just start bawling like some kind of pussy because there is a part of me that wishes I was thrown from the car. I reek in every college classroom I go into, people sniffing the air every second, glancing at me. I once walked into my English class a few weeks ago, my professor took a big whiff of air, looked me straight in the eyes and laughed. I smell like shit all the time. My life is an embarrassing moment and it's driving me into depression. I hope my post makes somebody feel better about their current situation, that way something good comes out of this fucking curse.[/QUOTE] Take a fucking shower, or carry around bodyspray that doesnt smell like shit.

[QUOTE=Deadman123;37902965]Take a fucking shower, or carry around bodyspray that doesnt smell like shit.[/QUOTE] or both, and antiperspirant

[QUOTE=mblunk;37903006]or both, and antiperspirant[/QUOTE] Or wear clean clothes.

[QUOTE=Deadman123;37902965]Take a fucking shower, or carry around bodyspray that doesnt smell like shit.[/QUOTE] I keep clean, I wear antiperspirant deoderant. The problem stems from inside and i'm seeing a gastroenterologist about it on Tuesday to see if they can tell me exactly what is wrong, and hopefully put my life back to normal.

I was just walking into Science class, Year 9 or 10. I had a brand new ruler in my hands, and thought it was one of those rubber-like bendy ones. So I proceeded to, walking in, bend it and snap it in half. The entire class just kind of looked at me, gobsmacked, before bursting into giggles and smirks, and the teacher just shook her head disappointingly. I didn't talk much that lesson.

[QUOTE=Jocke;37896715]Yes. A guy named Viktor in my old class was jerking off in the restroom at school. I was sneaking and I made a noise when I took the step and I could hear him stop.[/QUOTE] Reminds me of a guy a year older than me in High School that jacked off into a sock WHILE CLASS WAS GOING ON.

During Driver's Ed the other day there was this annoying chick in the back corner of the room squeezing her water bottle. I haven't been getting much sleep lately, so I was very easily irritated. The squeezing didn't help. I went over to her and tried to grab the water bottle from her hands and she was all "Don't do that" and, being chivalrous, I let go. Then I was all "stop squeezing that motherfucking water bottle" and she was like "I was never squeezing a water bottle" and I thought [I]are you in the fucking third grade?[/I] and after a little bit of pointless back-and forth, I sat down and raised my hand to tell the teacher to make her knock it off (I'm not usually like that, but I wasn't taking any shit that day). She was busy explaining to my friend that you have to turn your car wheels to the left when parking next to a curb on a hill going upwards (he kept contradicting her) and then I got really pissed off and I don't remember exactly what happened but the bitch proceeded to squeeze the bottle more because she's a bitch and I somehow got the teacher's attention and had a fucking [U]meltdown[/U]. I grabbed the bottle out of her hands and threw it across the room, sat down in my chair, swiped all of the books off of my desk, threw my hat off and slid myself out of my chair. All that in about ten seconds. Then I sat behind after class and she was all "you okay, buddy?" and I was like "yeah, I haven't been getting much sleep". And then after I kept telling her that I left and went to the bathroom to wash my face because I was feeling choked up. Then, for ABSOLUTELY NO REASON, I started crying. I'm not usually that easy to upset, and I hadn't cried in over a year (even when I wanted to), but I guess I was so tired I couldn't take it. I spent like ten minutes of the next period in there trying to pull myself together, and I eventually made it back into the next class (which happens to be the exact same class because of my school's scheduling tactics). I walked in, my eyes giving away my previous state, and I took it easy for the rest of the day (luckily it was 9th period and the teacher was chill [he tries to stay relevant by constantly talking about trolling and shit]). I still consider myself to have spent a year and a half without crying, because I was sleep-deprived that day and wasn't thinking straight. It was a fucking water bottle for fuck's sake. So yeah. Excuse me if this post is poorly written, I don't feel like revising because then I'd lose more sleep tonight.

[QUOTE=Kabstrac;37904535]are you overweight?[/QUOTE] I weigh 130lbs i'm a bit skinnier than the average person my age, i'm 17

[QUOTE=mfb412;37899671]Well, at least there wasn't dhiarrea everywhere.[/QUOTE] But there was my morning MAX PAYNE face.

[QUOTE=Zar;37898520]I live in Denmark. The Game of Thrones series was launching in Danish television, and they started off with a 3 hour marathon of it. Me and my mom watched it in my couch in my room... for 3 hours... Worst. Mistake. Ever. :([/QUOTE] Watching crank 2 with my parents was a pretty bad mistake.

Me and my mum were walking to the pub, and then suddenly a fly shot up her nose and she started flailing about and panicking. I didn't know what happened at the time so I was like "WTF What happened? What's wrong? What's going on?!" And then she explained that a fly was in her nose and so she got her pocket mirror out and flicked her nose around and stuck her fingers up her nose to make sure the fly was out and to even see if it's there. AT THAT MOMENT when she took the pocket mirror out and fiddled around with her nose, a police car pulled over by our side and stared into our souls, thinking that my mum was on Coke. I waved my arms around panicking but laughing at the same time and said "No! Never mind my mum! Tehre's a fly in her nose and she's trying to get it out!" Me and my mum were panicking, and then they smirked and drove off. We laughed it off for the whole night :v:

[QUOTE=pancaker94;37904828]I weigh 130lbs i'm a bit skinnier than the average person my age, i'm 17[/QUOTE] Have you tried checking your washing machine? I know this may sound unrelated, but I once accidentally left the laundry in the washing machine for too long and because of the moisture, I guess bacteria started growing in there. Although the washing machine reeked, I decided to put the cloths in the dryer anyway, lo and behold the clothes smelled fine when the dryer finished(if not a tad musty). So the next day I wore some of the clothes I had washed to school, but I began to find that I as emanating this really bad smell whenever I started to sweat, turns out it was because of the clothes. The smell was still in the clothes after a few washes but over time it went away, Is it possible this is the cause?

I was doing some writing in class in high school in science. We were doing some work about vitamins and deficiencies and we got onto vitamin D I think it is (?). The deficiencie was Rickets which is a disease which weakens your bones. I am writing all that down. I write crickets in instead. I say out loud 'Shit I wrote crickets' I fucking yelled it by accident.