Never tell your password to anyone.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
8:25 AM - i only gank roshan: oh dear god
8:25 AM - i only gank roshan: i think
8:25 AM - i only gank roshan: no
8:25 AM - i only gank roshan: oh my god
8:25 AM - healthy adolescent sex drive: ...
8:25 AM - i only gank roshan: ok so
8:26 AM - i only gank roshan: my parents, dad, and their friend went to sleep around 11 or so
8:26 AM - i only gank roshan: i was like
8:26 AM - i only gank roshan: "alright, every light in the house is off, I'm safe to fap and go to bed. I'm feeling rather sick so I'll just sleep and fap it off."
8:26 AM - i only gank roshan: I go to fap
8:26 AM - i only gank roshan: around the climax point i hear someone whisper
8:26 AM - i only gank roshan: "oh my god"
8:26 AM - i only gank roshan: and then they said "yea lets just go back inside"
8:27 AM - i only gank roshan: I look out the window to the left of me
8:27 AM - i only gank roshan: they are sitting outside on the table talking and shit
8:27 AM - i only gank roshan: WELP
8:27 AM - healthy adolescent sex drive: no way
8:27 AM - i only gank roshan: note i was at my climax point
8:27 AM - i only gank roshan: i just looked back at them
8:27 AM - i only gank roshan: and said
8:27 AM - i only gank roshan: fuck it
8:28 AM - i only gank roshan: and finished off and scurried to my bed
8:28 AM - healthy adolescent sex drive: wow
too lazy to write it in paragraph form again, just woke up
Those shit stories remind me of this kid who, I shit you not, took a shit during an assembly.
I wasn't really near him, but me and nearly everyone in the bleachers could smell something really bad, which we later found out was the shit.
I heard later that apparently the kid went up to the top row and then just kind of sat there, hunched over, pulled down his pants half-way, and went to town. He didn't have a mental illness or anything so I wasn't exactly sure why he did shit, but it was pretty nasty all the same.
[QUOTE=Repulsion;38124881]Those shit stories remind me of this kid who, I shit you not, took a shit during an assembly.
I wasn't really near him, but me and nearly everyone in the bleachers could smell something really bad, which we later found out was the shit.
I heard later that apparently the kid went up to the top row and then just kind of sat there, hunched over, pulled down his pants half-way, and went to town. He didn't have a mental illness or anything so I wasn't exactly sure why he did shit, but it was pretty nasty all the same.[/QUOTE]
Reminds me of a big guy that was in my math class. He didn't have any mental problems, just didn't care for anything really. Apparently he wore a diaper under his pants to an assembly and took a giant shit in the middle of a whole bunch of people and wore the thing for the rest of the day. The smell, man, the smell.
._________.
I remember when I was about 15 I went to the co-op with my dad, I decided to stay in the car because I couldn't be fucked to go inside to pick up milk or whatever, but out of habbit my dad has this little 'out of car routine', which is out, shut door, lock car whilst walking away.
I realized immediately and sat as still as fucking possible but alas I ended up sat in the car trapped for about 10 minutes with the alarm going off. He roared laughter when he realised what he did to me when he got back.
So many looks my way :(
[QUOTE=Suttles;38123995]Never tell your password to anyone.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
8:25 AM - i only gank roshan: oh dear god
8:25 AM - i only gank roshan: i think
8:25 AM - i only gank roshan: no
8:25 AM - i only gank roshan: oh my god
8:25 AM - healthy adolescent sex drive: ...
8:25 AM - i only gank roshan: ok so
8:26 AM - i only gank roshan: my parents, dad, and their friend went to sleep around 11 or so
8:26 AM - i only gank roshan: i was like
8:26 AM - i only gank roshan: "alright, every light in the house is off, I'm safe to fap and go to bed. I'm feeling rather sick so I'll just sleep and fap it off."
8:26 AM - i only gank roshan: I go to fap
8:26 AM - i only gank roshan: around the climax point i hear someone whisper
8:26 AM - i only gank roshan: "oh my god"
8:26 AM - i only gank roshan: and then they said "yea lets just go back inside"
8:27 AM - i only gank roshan: I look out the window to the left of me
8:27 AM - i only gank roshan: they are sitting outside on the table talking and shit
8:27 AM - i only gank roshan: WELP
8:27 AM - healthy adolescent sex drive: no way
8:27 AM - i only gank roshan: note i was at my climax point
8:27 AM - i only gank roshan: i just looked back at them
8:27 AM - i only gank roshan: and said
8:27 AM - i only gank roshan: fuck it
8:28 AM - i only gank roshan: and finished off and scurried to my bed
8:28 AM - healthy adolescent sex drive: wow
too lazy to write it in paragraph form again, just woke up[/QUOTE]
I just fap whenever I feel like it. I quit caring about the presence of other people in the house after I turned 17.
[QUOTE=haloguy234;38132243]I just fap whenever I feel like it. I quit caring about the presence of other people in the house after I turned 17.[/QUOTE]
When someone comes in the room I just throw a blanket over me and pretend I'm sleeping.
[QUOTE=ramirez!;38130330]Reminds me of a big guy that was in my math class. He didn't have any mental problems, just didn't care for anything really. Apparently he wore a diaper under his pants to an assembly and took a giant shit in the middle of a whole bunch of people and wore the thing for the rest of the day. The smell, man, the smell.
._________.[/QUOTE]
reminds me of this guy who took a shit in a pizza box and left it in the photocopy room over the weekend.
Stumbled upon something old.
Back in high school I used to fall asleep in class A LOT. I didn't really have a problem with it.
Though it got pretty embarrassing when my friends uploaded an entire gallery of themselves giving a thumbs up above my slumbering carcass.
[img]http://niggaupload.com/images/dxGcj.png[/img]
[img]http://niggaupload.com/images/ADNm.png[/img]
Even my history teacher joined in on the fun. :-(
[Img]http://niggaupload.com/images/3JZit.jpg[/img]
Dude you should fall asleep more often, it makes you a chick magnet.
[QUOTE=ScreamingGerbil;38138031]Stumbled upon something old.
Back in high school I used to fall asleep in class A LOT. I didn't really have a problem with it.
Though it got pretty embarrassing when my friends uploaded an entire gallery of themselves giving a thumbs up above my slumbering carcass.
[img]http://niggaupload.com/images/dxGcj.png[/img]
[img]http://niggaupload.com/images/ADNm.png[/img]
Even my history teacher joined in on the fun. :-(
[Img]http://niggaupload.com/images/3JZit.jpg[/img][/QUOTE]
[img]http://i.imgur.com/srMgD.png[/img]
This guy in my class stays up till 3AM every night, and this picture was taken just before the class put TipEx on his fingernails and the teacher spray him with water to wake him up.
embarrasing thing happened to me saturday night
was grinding with the gf at a house party when suddenly a wild boner appears. Now, I have to say I have a 7inch dick and was wearing my loosest clothes (pyjama themed party). So erryone can see my dong and a few people laugh, some are sorta mesmerized and im pretty sure a few girls were eyefucking me. anyway i do nothing after a breif internal monlogue that went a bit like this;
"fuck i have a boner"
"fuck i know"
"fuck they know"
"fuck."
"what do?"
"fuck..-wait nothing"
"ok"
then i went and got a bit drunker than i already was and my gf pulled me upstairs as she thought i needed some "attention".
was p. embarrasing but it ended up well. thank fuck i dont have any more embarrasing stories than this, some stories here make me cringe!
lets begin the adventures of icemoo
[quote]7:51 PM - Icemoo: alright heres one
7:51 PM - Icemoo: hold up sneezing
7:51 PM - Icemoo: ok fuck you body you were about to sneeze
7:51 PM - Icemoo: alright so
7:51 PM - Icemoo: i was like
7:51 PM - Icemoo: 11 or 12
7:51 PM - titopei: i sneeze for you dont worry
7:52 PM - Icemoo: i dunno
7:52 PM - Icemoo: i wanst really fat back then
7:52 PM - Icemoo: infact
7:52 PM - Icemoo: i was skinny
7:52 PM - Icemoo: as a mofo
7:52 PM - Icemoo: so what went down is pretty much
7:52 PM - Icemoo: my and my friends
7:52 PM - Icemoo: theres royce, amber, haylee and brandon
7:52 PM - Icemoo: Haylee is a 4 year old girl remember this
7:52 PM - Icemoo: we ar eall hanging out and she
7:53 PM - Icemoo: amber starts being retarded or something and talks about boys and guys with there shirts off
7:53 PM - Icemoo: i just remembered that old song
7:53 PM - Icemoo: im sexy and i know
7:53 PM - Icemoo: but like the old one
7:53 PM - Icemoo: not the lmfao one or w/e
7:53 PM - Icemoo: anyway
7:54 PM - Icemoo: i go around the back with my friend royze
7:54 PM - Icemoo: im like watch this
7:54 PM - Icemoo: take off my shirt
7:54 PM - Icemoo: start twirling it around my head
7:54 PM - Icemoo: IM SEXY AND I KNOW IT
7:54 PM - Icemoo: start like doing the gangom style thing where he walks sideways around the guy
7:54 PM - Icemoo: except its towards her
7:54 PM - Icemoo: while going IM SEXY AND I KNOW IT
7:54 PM - Icemoo: twilring my shirt
7:54 PM - Icemoo: i get close
7:54 PM - Icemoo: royces mom comes outside
7:54 PM - Icemoo: "What are you doing"
7:55 PM - Icemoo: Im stunned
7:55 PM - Icemoo: look around
7:55 PM - Icemoo: "I got hot"
7:55 PM - Icemoo: 10/10?
8:35 PM - Icemoo: oh fuck
8:35 PM - Icemoo: i forgot he other part of the sotry
8:35 PM - Icemoo: ok so
8:36 PM - Icemoo: after his mom comes out
8:36 PM - Icemoo: hes like
8:36 PM - Icemoo: she is like
8:36 PM - Icemoo: Mommy look!
8:36 PM - Icemoo: she has her shirt of doing the exact thing i was doing.
[/quote]
This story may sound like complete and utter bullshit, but I swear to you that it's completely true. Just to establish some context, I suggest you read my previous Warcraft story from not long ago.
[QUOTE]Back when I was twelve, porn slideshows were the shit in Warcraft 3 and as well as maps with thumbnails of naked chicks though you had the occasional asshole spoiling the party with maps with pictures of dicks.
Oh, and yes, I discovered porn through downloading a Warcraft 3 map that featured naked ladies.
Anyway, fast forwarding to months after my first experiences with soft core pornography and bare titties via Warcraft 3, my dad casually walks up behind me while I'm playing a random map and whispers into my ear, ''I know what kind of games you've been playing''.
Obviously scared as a motherfucker, I couldn't think of anything to say and just put on an aloof look and pokerface on and continued playing my game.
After finishing the map, I exited the game and uninstalled that motherfucker as fast as I could.
[/QUOTE]
Keep in mind, the story I'm about to share happens two or three months after my previous story, so what happened then was still fresh in my mind.
So while a party is going on in my house, I decided to play some Warcraft 3 and rounded up a good number of my friends and we all decided to create a clan.
While in our own little private channel, just talking bullshit and whatnot, a random player joins our channel. How exactly how he tracked us down, I don't know.
I asked him if he was interested in joining our clan, he said he wasn't so I then proceeded to tell him to fuck off.
After a good ten minutes or so, I get a message from the same guy, and I swear to fucking god, all of this is completely true.
"Son, I'm disappointed in you, I know you've been looking at porn again."
I tried messaging the guy back, trying to call out his bullshit, but he never responded.
Note that this happens at a party in my house, while my dad was present. So who the fuck exactly was the guy that messaged me?
I figured at the time, my dad had one of his friends message me or it that it could've been divine intervention (I was fairly religious at the time).
Its still something that stumps me to this day. It had to have been my dad, right? I mean, why exactly would a random stranger waste his time with a kid over a videogame?
I was in 7th grade swimming and I was wearing my PE shorts that are stretchy, I was 14 or so at the time. There were alot of cute girls in the class all dressed in bathing suits and it gave me the biggest boner in my life, but I didn't know I had one till I stood up and everyone saw it...including the girls and some guy told me to sit down in a mean ass tone and made me feel like shit all day. I will NEVER forget that day.
[QUOTE=Richardroth;38144736]I was in 7th grade swimming and I was wearing my PE shorts that are stretchy, I was 14 or so at the time. There were alot of cute girls in the class all dressed in bathing suits and it gave me the biggest boner in my life, but I didn't know I had one till I stood up and everyone saw it...including the girls and some guy told me to sit down in a mean ass tone and made me feel like shit all day. I will NEVER forget that day.[/QUOTE]
Had the same problem, instead i walked it off while people laughed and i said "what's wrong with being attracted to girls?" That shut them up.
That feeling when you see a hot blonde dive into the school pool and her bottoms come off.
This isn't necessarily an embarrassing story, but a friend of mine from school is kind of a weird guy. He is a brony (not the huge flaunting dickhead type of brony, but the keep it to yourself type), he is obsessed with some kind of hilarious/weird porn video called Lollipop in Twat, and I'm beginning to suspect he is either a pretend/softcore nazi, or more likely just a racist. The best part is, his girlfriend is ALSO a brony and a racist, they were made to be together or something.
[QUOTE=The Rifleman;38155972]Had the same problem, instead i walked it off while people laughed and i said "what's wrong with being attracted to girls?" That shut them up.[/QUOTE]
everything
they have cooties
[QUOTE=Richardroth;38144736]I was in 7th grade swimming and I was wearing my PE shorts that are stretchy, I was 14 or so at the time. There were alot of cute girls in the class all dressed in bathing suits and it gave me the biggest boner in my life, but I didn't know I had one till I stood up and everyone saw it...including the girls and some guy told me to sit down in a mean ass tone and made me feel like shit all day. I will NEVER forget that day.[/QUOTE]
When I had swimming in PE last year, all but one of the girls stayed covered with towels until we got into the pool.
Every time I get caught sleeping in class I would play dumb, be in complete denial, and have a slurred voice.
The teacher would be too confused to kick me out.
[QUOTE=ScreamingGerbil;38138031]Stumbled upon something old.
Back in high school I used to fall asleep in class A LOT. I didn't really have a problem with it.
Though it got pretty embarrassing when my friends uploaded an entire gallery of themselves giving a thumbs up above my slumbering carcass.
[img]http://niggaupload.com/images/dxGcj.png[/img]
[/QUOTE]
holy fuck top row, on the right the dude with the glasses has the sickest hair I've ever seen.
One time I was fapping at my computer when I was like 13. It was a sunday, I probably hadn't showered the day before, and I'm not circumcised. Yes that is important. For whatever reason my dad decides he needs to use my computer, possibly because I had the only one in the house. No close-call story here though. I had heard him coming so I put my junk away and closed the porn, slightly annoyed. He comes in and sits down at the computer to write an email or something when suddenly I notice him sniffing the air.
That's when he says it. "What's that smell?" At first I was like yeah okay dad go have a stroke somewhere else. Then he says "it smells like fish"... Immediately I knew the source. And if you aren't a good guesser well, it was the musky scent of my dick still lingering over the desk. So now I'm tripping out wondering how to make it go away when he starts looking around and asking if I had any food in here. I try to play it off by telling him I just took some out. He doesn't seemed satisfied. As he starts getting up to find where it's coming from, he just sits back down again and doesn't say anymore about it. I'm assuming it just clicked in his mind, and if it did, he probably felt more embarrassed than I did. Needless to say that whole situation was pretty awkward.
Had a crush on a girl.
Didn't have the courage to ask her out.
Tell friend about it.
Friend tells me to just go up to her and ask her out.
I tell him that I have no confidence and don't feel comfortable doing it yet.
Friend convinces me to give it a try.
At lunch, I approach the girl, look her straight in the eye and just say, "Will you go out with me?" Super nervous.
She gasps in terror.
I just asked her in front of all of her friends.
She get's super nervous.
Says, "No LETS JUST STAY FRIENDS! OK?!"
Luckily I sat right next to her in my next class, and were usually pretty talkative, but she didn't speak to me for over a year after that.
Moral of story, just get girls drunk. It's easier that way.
[QUOTE=No_Excuses;38160591]One time I was fapping at my computer when I was like 13. It was a sunday, I probably hadn't showered the day before, and I'm not circumcised. Yes that is important. For whatever reason my dad decides he needs to use my computer, possibly because I had the only one in the house. No close-call story here though. I had heard him coming so I put my junk away and closed the porn, slightly annoyed. He comes in and sits down at the computer to write an email or something when suddenly I notice him sniffing the air.
That's when he says it. "What's that smell?" At first I was like yeah okay dad go have a stroke somewhere else. Then he says "it smells like fish"... Immediately I knew the source. And if you aren't a good guesser well, it was the musky scent of my dick still lingering over the desk. So now I'm tripping out wondering how to make it go away when he starts looking around and asking if I had any food in here. I try to play it off by telling him I just took some out. He doesn't seemed satisfied. As he starts to get up to find where it's coming from, he sits back down again and doesn't say anymore about it. I'm assuming it just clicked in his mind, and if it did, he probably felt more embarrassed than I did. Needless to say that whole situation was pretty awkward.[/QUOTE]
Uhhh I'm not circumcised and even if I don't shower my cock doesn't leave a smell...
Box fort
[QUOTE=killover;38160442]holy fuck top row, on the right the dude with the glasses has the sickest hair I've ever seen.[/QUOTE]
That's a girl actually
[QUOTE=ScreamingGerbil;38161942]That's a girl actually[/QUOTE]
It's so hard to tell these days...
[QUOTE=ThePanther;38161062]Had a crush on a girl.
Didn't have the courage to ask her out.
Tell friend about it.
Friend tells me to just go up to her and ask her out.
I tell him that I have no confidence and don't feel comfortable doing it yet.
Friend convinces me to give it a try.
At lunch, I approach the girl, look her straight in the eye and just say, "Will you go out with me?" Super nervous.
She gasps in terror.
I just asked her in front of all of her friends.
She get's super nervous.
Says, "No LETS JUST STAY FRIENDS! OK?!"
Luckily I sat right next to her in my next class, and were usually pretty talkative, but she didn't speak to me for over a year after that.
Moral of story, just get girls drunk. It's easier that way.[/QUOTE]
GUYS! this was an amazing post, we have been honored in his presence and with his post! 39 posts since 2005, what? good god that's impressive.
[QUOTE=NickNack1234;38161750]
Still dating the 2 chicks.[/QUOTE]
that kinda makes you a dirtbag.
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