Embarrassing Situations Thread V1.0 - Oh, the shame! - General

Oh, not really MY embarrassing situation, but this one kid in my math class is so embarrassing He's a black guy, with glasses. He looks REALLY out of place, has a neckbeard, smells funny, and has a huge ass mold on his leg(about the same size, I love when he wears shorts!) He: likes mlp is a furry(I some of his drawings and...below) likes dubstep(and only dubstep. Not even the good kind, just straight up skrillex shit) draws weird hybrids of anime+furry/mlp shit in class Randomly blurts out shit, says the teacher looks nice, constantly ask random as shit questions god hes annoying tbh i wouldnt care if he liked all the above, and I haven't(until recently, since he's just begging for attention)I just found him weird. Recently he has had a marines elbow pad, that said "The few, the proud" on it, with a picture of applejack taped over the center of the logo. His notebook had "I'm a brony, deal with it" He has this scarf hanging out of his back pocket, with hearts, skulls, and a peace sign on it. He had a white t-shirt that he wore today, that says "BRONY" in huge letters. He also defaced a school calculator, and wrote "I LOVE TWILIGHT SPARKLE" and "I LOVE APPLEJACK" on it. He also brings random shit like POKEBALLS, stuffed animals, and random shit into class He's so fucking distracting. Doesn't help he constantly interrupts the teachers when they are talking.

I went to McDonalds, got a cheeseburger, walked away and tripped over someones bag. The guy stared at me like I had murdered a small group of children. Worst part was though is that particular McDonalds happened to be full of people. If I had a fortune cookie this time and I opened it, it would say "Get on a balloon, go to space, and don't come back". I walked right out of that McDonalds and never looked back.

[QUOTE=HeavyGuy;38182070]I went to McDonalds, got a cheeseburger, walked away and tripped over someones bag. The guy stared at me like I had murdered a small group of children. Worst part was though is that particular McDonalds happened to be full of people. If I had a fortune cookie this time and I opened it, it would say "Get on a balloon, go to space, and don't come back". I walked right out of that McDonalds and never looked back.[/QUOTE] he had children in that bag

[QUOTE=haloguy234;38175931]Uncircumcised or not, it doesn't matter. If you fap a lot and don't wash your dick, you've got a mixture of hand sweat, dick sweat, and cum just festering on your cock. This is why I shower every day.[/QUOTE] So uh, you fap everyday?

Alright, so a short story on what happened at work the other day. At the time I did not know this, but the table I gave food to had two Dutch guys sitting there, one ordered Mahi-Mahi, some fruity looking seafood dish, and the other a T-bone. Fucking delicious. Anyway, giving the guy his fish was simple enough, "Here you go sir!" "Oh dank yu! ^_^". Now I hand the other guy his steak, "Annd the T-bone for you sir!" "Danks bro" Now we have a policy where we MUST ask the customer to cut into the steak to make sure its cooked to how they wanted it. So as I'm asking this, I've come to think this particular Dutchman did not know as much English as his friend, or something. So I ask the guy to cut into his steak, and he clumsily stumbles over some words, smiles and thanks me again, and just kind of stares at me. Yeeeah, awkward. I tell him "Noo, sir can you cut into your steak? It's just what our kitchen staff want us to do." and the same awkward things happen as above, smiling, spewing out some words etc. So eventually I just direct him via hand motions what I want him to do, and after awhile he gets it and finally the mission is achieved. What made it so embarrassing is that after a while people were looking at us funny, and eventually were laughing after I started making hand motions for the guy (not to mention the rambles of thanks and stuff). Although after the whole ordeal, they were real cool about it, laughed and joked about it and we all went on with our day.

Soooo the other week I decided to download some porn photos onto my phone etc.. Had a fun night. Forgot to delete them after however. So the next day my mum dresses my little brother up in some football clothes and asks me to take a photo of him. So I do and she asks to see it. Now if you view the image from the camera, the phone searches for all recent images on my phone, and if you tilt it a little it slides through them all quickly. Sooo I show her the photo of my little brother I had just taken, and the phone decided I'm tilting it, and therefore slides through all the previous nights images of porn infront of my mum... My quick reaction was to say "oooh thingk my mate nicked my phone..." ... Oh god WHY

[QUOTE=choco cookie;38184786]So uh, you fap everyday?[/QUOTE] Three times a day 2mlg4you

As per normal, it's about time for my 11:00 AM class and it's about time to roll out of bed and go to class. This morning, however was a bit different that instead of waking up at my normal time I found myself at risk of being late. So I jump out of my lofted bed, and completely miss the desk I usually use to land on. This resulted in my having no grip on anything and I fell with all my weight onto the corner of the desk using my hip as the focal point. Not only did this leave a massive bruise, upon trying to regain myself, my morning glory, my fully erect wiener stood for my roommate to see, inches from his face.

We all know it made contact.

My earliest childhood memory. I was about 5 or 6, I had gone with my parents to a tourist attraction place and they wanted to take a picture of me sitting on the ledge of a water fountain. I sat on the ledge, got comfortable and ready for the picture, next thing I knew I was somehow in the water, I didn't even realize I had fallen, but it was deep enough for me to swim in. So I climbed back out, had to walk around half naked for about half an hour before we left. Also, once in grade 10 before I knew i was lactose intolerant I drank chocolate milk for lunch and ended up feeling really sick shortly after so I immediately called my dad to get picked up. (For anyone who might not know the experience, basically if I drink/eat too much dairy I end up with explosive diarrhea) so I was stuck waiting for the next half hour with my ass cheeks nailed together. There was a moment where I was talking to this one chick just inside the front doors as I waited, silently farting to relieve tension. I kept thinking I should just go to the washroom, but I fucking hated taking shits in public bathrooms, and still do to this day. Anyways, I managed to hold in my shit all the way home, my dad dropped me off, thankfully, because as soon as I pulled my keys out of my pocket, it was like offsetting a stack of jengas. Having pants full of shit is a really bad feeling, even when no one is around to notice.

[QUOTE=Abomination!;38180029]In primary school me and my mate decided to have a piss in the corner of the playground. We both got a detention. I cant remember what happened during the detention but im sure the teacher would of been just as embarrassed.[/QUOTE] In elementary school I urinated against a wall, when I turned around I noticed that the Janitor was looking at me from another side of the building through a classroom window giving me an extremely dirty look. It happened again a few years after that too, when I pissed into a hole filled with water in front of a house for some sort of construction project. Again as soon as I look up I see the homeowner glaring at me from the window. Yeah I was one dumb motherfucking kid.

Back in my junior year of high school I had begun talking to this girl who joined my JROTC class. She was astonishingly attractive for being a JROTC girl who was in the same leadership positions I was in throughout our time in JROTC so I thought, "I'm gonna marry the fuck outta this girl!" We got to talking to each other and eating together at lunch. I met her little sister who thought I was awesome and funny so I thought I was really getting in with this new girl. It was August and was in the high 90's one day when I was walking her to her locker at the end of the day when I offered her a ride home. Her eyes lit up and she smiled asking, "Oh wow, you drive?" Well...I didn't really have my license yet so I replied, "Uhm, no my mom's kinda picking me up. We can drop you off since your house is on the way." She declined and after that day we didn't talk much anymore. I learned from this and got my license so now I can hit on all the babaloos I want. Moral of the story: Get your license when you can so when you ask a cute girl if she needs a ride home one hot sunny day you don't have to tell them embarrass yourself. Otherwise just walk her home.

She would have just used you to drive her places without putting out anyway.

[QUOTE=Trunk Monkay;38164532]that kinda makes you a dirtbag.[/QUOTE] my mom told me she dated 3 guys named john at the same time when she was a teen. apparently their phone conversations were pretty confusing

[QUOTE=haloguy234;38189673]She would have just used you to drive her places without putting out anyway.[/QUOTE] Not every girl tries to use a guy for shit. I could go on to describe how close and how much we talked but for the sake of getting to the point I won't. It's just since that incident we didn't talk as much. Besides, she was older and figured if I'm gonna use my mom to give myself and her rides then it would be pretty immature of me. I used her to give me rides anyway. We were still friends but I knew at that second I told her my mom could give us a ride I felt my face going red with what I said.

On the most recent school camp, we went mountain bike riding and the group leader had long blonde hair, as does my friend, so they looked fairly similar from behind. Anyway, I thought my friend was in front so I quickly sped up on my bike yelling out "NIGGERSNIGGERSNIGGERSNIGGERS" and it was actually the group leader, who was some lady in her mid forties. When I realised it wasn't who I thought it was, I just hung my head in embarrassment and I was actually amazed how she didn't take any notice on what I had just said.

[QUOTE=halflife_123;38177796]I hope you have that bathroom to yourself in your house. In fact I hope you mean a bathroom sink at all.[/QUOTE] Shit, I meant bidet

I was caught browsing Facepunch in school

I hope you didn't browse the dragon thread at the time :v:

[QUOTE=ACupXOfXNoodles;38185120]Alright, so a short story on what happened at work the other day. At the time I did not know this, but the table I gave food to had two Dutch guys sitting there, one ordered Mahi-Mahi, some fruity looking seafood dish, and the other a T-bone. Fucking delicious. Anyway, giving the guy his fish was simple enough, "Here you go sir!" "Oh dank yu! ^_^". Now I hand the other guy his steak, "Annd the T-bone for you sir!" "Danks bro" Now we have a policy where we MUST ask the customer to cut into the steak to make sure its cooked to how they wanted it. So as I'm asking this, I've come to think this particular Dutchman did not know as much English as his friend, or something. So I ask the guy to cut into his steak, and he clumsily stumbles over some words, smiles and thanks me again, and just kind of stares at me. Yeeeah, awkward. I tell him "Noo, sir can you cut into your steak? It's just what our kitchen staff want us to do." and the same awkward things happen as above, smiling, spewing out some words etc. So eventually I just direct him via hand motions what I want him to do, and after awhile he gets it and finally the mission is achieved. What made it so embarrassing is that after a while people were looking at us funny, and eventually were laughing after I started making hand motions for the guy (not to mention the rambles of thanks and stuff). Although after the whole ordeal, they were real cool about it, laughed and joked about it and we all went on with our day.[/QUOTE] Funfact: 'cut' or as we say 'kut' is actually a cussword for vagina!

[QUOTE=Kirbyfactor;38192628]Funfact: 'cut' or as we say 'kut' is actually a cussword for vagina![/QUOTE] "Could you cunt into your steak?" [B]Edit:[/B] *Makes the knife and fork motion* "Cunt." (Try it at home folks)

[QUOTE=D3TBS;38192437]I was caught browsing Facepunch in school[/QUOTE] I was browsing Facepunch during school one day and innocently clicked on the "wikipedia creampie" thread during school without realizing what it was, as soon as I got into the thread and I saw the pictures I started rushing to close the window. Yeah my friend who was sitting next to me saw it and he made fun of me for it for years. (The people behind me probably did as well since we were in rows) [sp]http://i48.tinypic.com/2i6i0b7.png[/sp]

[QUOTE=haloguy234;38175663]Quit fapping so often each day, especially if you have the intention of not showering. You're not even washing any pre-cum off of your dick, so it just builds up until it smells like fish. That's disgusting dude.[/QUOTE] Give a guy a break, that happened like 8 years ago. [QUOTE=haloguy234;38175931]Uncircumcised or not, it doesn't matter. If you fap a lot and don't wash your dick, you've got a mixture of hand sweat, dick sweat, and cum just festering on your cock. This is why I shower every day.[/QUOTE] It definitely does matter being circumcised. The foreskin seals all the jizzm and gunk and makes it worse. Ever heard of smegma? Cut people can't get that. Theirs always has air circulating down there which causes any moisture to dry or even rub off into their underwear. Uncut peeps gotta take good care of their package.

[QUOTE=Kirbyfactor;38192628]Funfact: 'cut' or as we say 'kut' is actually a cussword for vagina![/QUOTE] Oh dear. I just told a grown man to vagina into his steak. No wonder he was surprised. Also, thanks for that fun fact, the more you know!

[QUOTE=ACupXOfXNoodles;38202758]Oh dear. I just told a grown man to vagina into his steak. No wonder he was surprised. Also, thanks for that fun fact, the more you know![/QUOTE] Hey, do you have any knifes? I want to vagina into my steak, but I lack silverware. I only eat vagina steak, as eating it without it being vagina into pieces is tough.

Damn, today I witnessed a robbery at the train station. It seems that some guy had taken away some old ladies purse and was being chased down the station by three huge security guards who were almost catching him. So the robber was comming towards me and I decided to take action and go for a takedown, so I start running in the robber's direction, I leap forward do catch him but all of a sudden he notices me and moves away and I body slam on the floor. Luckily I was able to distract him for the security guards were able to catch him. It was kinda hilarious because the guy was just pancaked beneath those 3 guys. The embarrassing thing was, they arrested him and didn't help me standing up, in fact they looked at me laughing a bit and so did the people who watched it on the station. Me missing the guy and completely slamming on the floor. I hope nobody filmed it. Would be a heck of a viral video on youtube.

when i was a kid i whipped my penis out and started masturbating while some of my school friends were over because i didn't know it was wrong to. then nobody ever came over again. all my friends laughed about me. i'm a failure.

[QUOTE=faggot_;38213424]when i was a kid i whipped my penis out and started masturbating while some of my school friends were over because i didn't know it was wrong to. then nobody ever came over again. all my friends laughed about me. i'm a failure.[/QUOTE] Your name fits so well.

they did call me a faggot, then i moved away to a different country. people still call me a faggot though. once a faggot, always a faggot i guess.

apparently im irresitable to girls and my gf resents this awkrward.