Embarrassing Situations Thread V1.0 - Oh, the shame! - General

Here's an almost got caught looking at porn story from ages ago! Was just about to fall asleep when I heard my mom call out from the study room, "-my name-, who is Eva Angelina?" I hurry on over to the computer and see "Eva Angelina" smack dab in the corner of the screen on the little Google toolbar. My dumbass forgot to erase the history. I played it off by telling my mom that a friend on AIM hyperlinked me to some porn. Thank God for tech illiterate parents.

I sing in my sleep! I sleep during English class! I figure this fact out during English class! Transcript according to my friend: "Alright class, now, Kevin sacrafices his rifle for a plow, what does this..." "DON'T BE FALLIN IN LOVE AS SHES WALKIN AWAY, CAUSE MY HEART WONT TELL MY MIND WHAT MY MOUTH IT SHOULD SAY-" I slept through this and when I woke up the class was ending.

[QUOTE=Zambies!;38376695]I sing in my sleep! I sleep during English class! I figure this fact out during English class! Transcript according to my friend: "Alright class, now, Kevin sacrafices his rifle for a plow, what does this..." "DON'T BE FALLIN IN LOVE AS SHES WALKIN AWAY, CAUSE MY HEART WONT TELL MY MIND WHAT MY MOUTH IT SHOULD SAY-" I slept through this and when I woke up the class was ending.[/QUOTE] Reminds me of a time I fell asleep in Physics, and I sleep talk really coherently and loudly whilst I'm asleep (for example waking up my girlfriend telling her that I wouldn't mind new socks), and I apparently started telling my mate that I would really like to go and watch some Ebony Porn - awkward because the guy behind me is really really black.

[QUOTE=MuTAnT;38338369]Yeah the only time I've ever lied about something like or tried to hide it was when my mate's little sister was sitting on my lap. If it's your girlfriend it shouldn't really be that big of a deal.[/QUOTE] Talking about little sisters. From the Crimes/Bad things you did Thread. [QUOTE=andololol;38270773]Me and my friends 10 year old sister were playing. After a bit of that playing around around I lay her down and spread her legs. After an awkward silence and confusion by her oddly large smile, I woke up from being in a senseless state that I sometimes get into and started thinking about what I did. I felt terrible while she was confused as to why we didn't continue playing (I swear something is going on in her head, because she knows about these behaviors through her friends and facebook, she knows about what males do during love making). Her brother also stared like as if he was interested in what was going on and that only made it even more embarrassing, we're both sick. [/QUOTE] Also on the topic of porn discovery I discovered that stuff in 2nd grade, a few days later I found myself jerking it. I also asked my friends sister how she knew about that stuff and she told me that she caught some people watching it, and reference from her friends. Whenever I think of that time only expression I can make is :I

[QUOTE=noforgivin;38368356]My mum found my fleshlight.. and she didn't mind. Weird and embarrassing.[/QUOTE] "Hmm son, what did I say about sharing?" [editline]8th November 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Zambies!;38376695]I sing in my sleep! I sleep during English class! I figure this fact out during English class! Transcript according to my friend: "Alright class, now, Kevin sacrafices his rifle for a plow, what does this..." "DON'T BE FALLIN IN LOVE AS SHES WALKIN AWAY, CAUSE MY HEART WONT TELL MY MIND WHAT MY MOUTH IT SHOULD SAY-" I slept through this and when I woke up the class was ending.[/QUOTE] Similar story, one night I was singing in my sleep Apparantely i was yelling these lyrics: Look, and she don't wanna be my main thang She just tryna help a rapper maintain I touch her soul with this dick she get the holy ghost My loves a drug she's a fiend tryna overdoz at the top of my lungs, waking my parents up. I'm assuming its those lyrics at least, my mom came in going "why are you yelling about souls and holy ghost and drugs?"

Oh shit just had this memory come back to me. When I was around 8 or something I had this giant panda in my room. My parents let me watch R rated movies and stuff, I just had to cover my eyes in sex scenes but I knew what was happening in general. The panda also had a small hole in it so you can sort of tell where this is going. One day I decided I would have sex with the panda at 8 years old, I don't know why. I had this weird feeling while I was doing it, it was something greater than an orgasm that has only happened when a girl talked dirty to me really well and my first masturbation session. Anyways here I was having sex with this stuffed panda but apparently I didn't know what a lock was. My parents walked in on me naked inside the panda. Needless to say, I never saw the panda again.

[QUOTE=titopei;38378041]Oh shit just had this memory come back to me. When I was around 8 or something I had this giant panda in my room. My parents let me watch R rated movies and stuff, I just had to cover my eyes in sex scenes but I knew what was happening in general. The panda also had a small hole in it so you can sort of tell where this is going. One day I decided I would have sex with the panda at 8 years old, I don't know why. I had this weird feeling while I was doing it, it was something greater than an orgasm that has only happened when a girl talked dirty to me really well and my first masturbation session. Anyways here I was having sex with this stuffed panda but apparently I didn't know what a lock was. My parents walked in on me naked inside the panda. Needless to say, I never saw the panda again.[/QUOTE] And people say children are innocent, a lot have no idea what some of them are doing.

[QUOTE=titopei;38378041]Oh shit just had this memory come back to me. When I was around 8 or something I had this giant panda in my room. My parents let me watch R rated movies and stuff, I just had to cover my eyes in sex scenes but I knew what was happening in general. The panda also had a small hole in it so you can sort of tell where this is going. One day I decided I would have sex with the panda at 8 years old, I don't know why. I had this weird feeling while I was doing it, it was something greater than an orgasm that has only happened when a girl talked dirty to me really well and my first masturbation session. Anyways here I was having sex with this stuffed panda but apparently I didn't know what a lock was. My parents walked in on me naked inside the panda. Needless to say, I never saw the panda again.[/QUOTE] Speaking of stuffed animals, when I was 14 I looted a nudey magazine from my friend's terrible porn stash, and over the years I guess I just forgot where I put it. About 2 months ago, my sister comes up from the basement holding this huge teddy bear and says "Why is there a hole in the crotch and a Playboy magazine stuffed inside?" And then I was just like "OH SHIT, SO THATS WHERE I PUT IT!" The hiding spot was so good that it kept me from finding it for 5 years.

[QUOTE=andololol;38377144] Story about playing with friend's sister and spreading her legs [/QUOTE] Bro I'm sorry but... What were you thinking..? :v: I could never live that shit down, it would haunt me forever If I did that.

This is really embarassing for me, although not that painful for me. Once I went out with my girlfriend near a lake, we spent the whole day together and were sitting on a bench near the water. As usual I am telling some nonsense stories and I am the kind of guy who gets really dramatic and engaged in the stories that I tell. Anyway I proceeded to tell her a story and I was standing around and gesturing with all my hands and legs. Unfortunately I threw my hand with full power into the air, explaining something, but hitting my girlfriend with a full slap into the face. I fully slapped her in the face, her face was all red and swelled, she even cried from the pain. God may have mercy on my soul, I never intented to do that and I can never repay for what I did that day, even if it was unintential. I am so sorry for it, quite embarassing for me. [sp]Although she kicked me so hard in my nuts that I nearly puked all over the place while lying on the ground :v:[/sp]

what she did was pretty fucked up and unjust in response

Well, I guess it is fair after all. She looked like she has been beaten by someone, everybody asked stupid questions about it :v: people asked me if I would beat her. It was truly horrible. Anyway my marbles are still intact, no harm taken.

[QUOTE=GoDLik3;38379378]Bro I'm sorry but... What were you thinking..? :v: I could never live that shit down, it would haunt me forever If I did that.[/QUOTE] I can't really face verbal/physical/visual contact very well anymore with her. Although when I am around she jumps up and tries to do some shit, now I just stand there. :v: [editline]9th November 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=junker|154;38380884]This is really embarassing for me, although not that painful for me. Once I went out with my girlfriend near a lake, we spent the whole day together and were sitting on a bench near the water. As usual I am telling some nonsense stories and I am the kind of guy who gets really dramatic and engaged in the stories that I tell. Anyway I proceeded to tell her a story and I was standing around and gesturing with all my hands and legs. Unfortunately I threw my hand with full power into the air, explaining something, but hitting my girlfriend with a full slap into the face. I fully slapped her in the face, her face was all red and swelled, she even cried from the pain. God may have mercy on my soul, I never intented to do that and I can never repay for what I did that day, even if it was unintential. I am so sorry for it, quite embarassing for me. [sp]Although she kicked me so hard in my nuts that I nearly puked all over the place while lying on the ground :v:[/sp][/QUOTE] That made me cringe.

Years ago I found a book which was a collection of short sex stories. I remember one of them was about a reporter having sex with an American Footballer and he was the first circumcised guy that she'd fucked (she described it as like a mushroom). There was also one about a woman who got stuck in a window and a guy who fucked her from the other side. I don't know. Anyway, I used to read that loads as a kid, I didn't know about masturbation or anything but I got good feelings from it. I'd read a story then put it down the side of my bed. One day, the book was gone.

[QUOTE=GoDLik3;38379378]Bro I'm sorry but... What were you thinking..? :v: I could never live that shit down, it would haunt me forever If I did that.[/QUOTE] It was obviously just a happy accident. R-Right guys?

Had a PE class yesterday, and we were playing dodgeball. Saw an opportunity when squeezing that soft ball as one opponent strutters into view. With a mighty fling, i send the balls skyward, aiming for her lower body. But wait, somethings not right. A ball rolls into the scene, and she bends down to pick it up! Within the blink of an eye, the ball i hurled smashes against the side of her face, knocking her glasses off and leaving her dazed and with tears brimming in her eyes. I run over, sit next to her and apologise over and over again, but she seems to be just as embarrassed as i was. It was one of those times you wish you could melt through the floor and disappear. It had to be the shy girl with braces and glasses. It fricking had to.

Gym story time? Gym story time. When I was in my 8th grade gym class, this girl with watermelons for breasts was sitting out because she didn't bring her gym uniform. I was standing a good 10 or 15 feet away from her and talking to my friend. My friend was in front of me, and this girl's [I]incredible[/I] cleavage was in my view right behind my friend. So I'm just chatting with him when suddenly I lose my train of thought and just stare into that black hole between her breasts. And my friend turns around and says "Why are you staring at her?" I guess she heard, and she looked over at us. I felt my face turn all red and I got really hot all of a sudden, and I just said "I-I THOUGHT I SAW A QUARTER."

Gym story! Last year we had to do a running test, I had to run 2 km, which is 7-8 laps around a football field, everyone made it just fine except for me, I stood at the side and almost threw up when I was finished. (but atleast I got a good grade!)

People in the UK might remember that vomit bug that was going around a couple of years ago. Well, me and my family went to Butlins for Autumn half term. The first night I spent throwing up non-stop. Every night was the same routine. Eat dinner, watch TV until I throw up, then go to sleep. For some reason I never threw up during the day, except for once. We were at the swimming pool going down slides, and while I was in the queue I said, "Mum I really don't feel right" "Shit, get changed now!" So I went to the changing room, got changed. The inevitable was about to happen. Just as I got outside where a bunch of people were queuing to go in, I threw up. In front of probably 100 people, all going "ughhh, oh jesus" at the same time. Walked back to the flat absolutely mortified.

When I think back on this one, it was more funny than embarrassing, but I was pretty embarrassed for a while. So theres this fucking incredibly fat posh-ish blonde girl a year below me in college, and she thinks she is fricken sex on legs for some reason. Anyway, all my mates and I rip the shit out of her all the time, and one day we were all sat on this wall at break and she was few feet away from us. I don't know if you've seen them, but she was wearing "Wet-look" Legging's, basically they look like a cross between PVC and leather. I just couldn't stop laughing at how fugly she looked in them, and turned around to tell my mates my opinion on them, which was as follows; "Holy fucking shit have you seen -hername's- leggings? She looks like a wounded hippo emerging from the water hole, I mean she must have been bloody poured into those! Jesus christ, its like someone splattered tar over the back of an elephant, and fucked it. Look at her arse, look how hungry it is, its swallowed half of them - fuck!" Throughout this description (there were more comparisons to animals and stretched latex), my friend Pete looked mortified at me, I then turned around and she had walked over to ask for a lighter and listened to the whole thing. I almost died. (Laughing)

Not cool man, making fun of bigger people.

[QUOTE=Kirbyfactor;38385212]Not cool man, making fun of bigger people.[/QUOTE] No, its not because of her size - there are plenty around, its because she has the impression that not only is she gorgeous, but also every other girl is out to get her. Anyway, I discriminate equally so I wasn't just picking her out

[QUOTE=SamRinny;38385160]When I think back on this one, it was more funny than embarrassing, but I was pretty embarrassed for a while. So theres this fucking incredibly fat posh-ish blonde girl a year below me in college, and she thinks she is fricken sex on legs for some reason. Anyway, all my mates and I rip the shit out of her all the time, and one day we were all sat on this wall at break and she was few feet away from us. I don't know if you've seen them, but she was wearing "Wet-look" Legging's, basically they look like a cross between PVC and leather. I just couldn't stop laughing at how fugly she looked in them, and turned around to tell my mates my opinion on them, which was as follows; "Holy fucking shit have you seen -hername's- leggings? She looks like a wounded hippo emerging from the water hole, I mean she must have been bloody poured into those! Jesus christ, its like someone splattered tar over the back of an elephant, and fucked it. Look at her arse, look how hungry it is, its swallowed half of them - fuck!" Throughout this description (there were more comparisons to animals and stretched latex), my friend Pete looked mortified at me, I then turned around and she had walked over to ask for a lighter and listened to the whole thing. I almost died. (Laughing)[/QUOTE] And some people wonder why fat people exist. It's because of jerks like this, guys.

[QUOTE=haloguy234;38385343]And some people wonder why fat people exist. It's because of jerks like this, guys.[/QUOTE] I'm reasonably sure she was fat before I met her [editline]9th November 2012[/editline] Oh and I'm sure that people don't become fat, because people rip them for being big.

[QUOTE=tommyc225;38384743]People in the UK might remember that vomit bug that was going around a couple of years ago. Well, me and my family went to Butlins for Autumn half term. The first night I spent throwing up non-stop. Every night was the same routine. Eat dinner, watch TV until I throw up, then go to sleep. For some reason I never threw up during the day, except for once. We were at the swimming pool going down slides, and while I was in the queue I said, "Mum I really don't feel right" "Shit, get changed now!" So I went to the changing room, got changed. The inevitable was about to happen. Just as I got outside where a bunch of people were queuing to go in, I threw up. In front of probably 100 people, all going "ughhh, oh jesus" at the same time. Walked back to the flat absolutely mortified.[/QUOTE] Norovirus, it goes round every year and I am deathly afraid of it.

[QUOTE=SamRinny;38385349]I'm reasonably sure she was fat before I met her [editline]9th November 2012[/editline] Oh and I'm sure that people don't become fat, because people rip them for being big.[/QUOTE] Of course not, but making somebody feel like shit for something like that isn't going to make them feel any more inclined to do something about it.

[QUOTE=GoDLik3;38379378]Bro I'm sorry but... What were you thinking..? :v: I could never live that shit down, it would haunt me forever If I did that.[/QUOTE] Also, I get over things very quickly, one time when I had a kitten and it died, I cried for maybe 30 minutes and I just blamed my sister for the rest of the day, then I got over it. When the other kitten died I didn't give a shit. Having difficult as shit times really drained my ability to give a damn when something like, say my house burnt down, I would get over it within a day or a few. I've had a history of embarrassing situations, including multiple teleiophilic (that one time was the only pedophilic moment I had with her) moments with that same girl, and multiple other embarrassing situations. If you don't know what Teleiophile means, search it up. [editline]9th November 2012[/editline] I am currently not contacting her or her brother, through my own decisions.

[QUOTE=haloguy234;38385750]Of course not, but making somebody feel like shit for something like that isn't going to make them feel any more inclined to do something about it.[/QUOTE] I know that, but it doesn't mean that its the underlying cause. I personally don't like her, not because she is fat but because of what I have detailed above. However, people have told me I was 'skeletal' over and over, so I started working out and have bulked nicely and people have stopped. So, to recap - I didn't make her fat, and I have no regrets for being rude to her.

You're both talking out of your asses about the fat stuff. Post more embarrassment, unless you are making an embarrassing story right now.

[QUOTE=jaykray;38385391]Norovirus, it goes round every year and I am deathly afraid of it.[/QUOTE] [i]Every year?[/i] I hope I don't get it again, it was the worst shit