Embarrassing Situations Thread V1.0 - Oh, the shame! - General

[QUOTE=Sir Whoopsalot;38503773]That isn't so much dodging a bullet as it is catching a bullet with your teeth.[/QUOTE] And then catching one.

So I was helping out with a food charity today, giving out food for Thanksgiving. I hand this one lady her bag with the food in it and the turkey after that and I tell her, "Happy Thanksgiving Ma'am, have a good one" and she replies "You're welcome". :v:

[QUOTE=PollytheParrot;38504840]So I was helping out with a food charity today, giving out food for Thanksgiving. I hand this one lady her bag with the food in it and the turkey after that and I tell her, "Happy Thanksgiving Ma'am, have a good one" and she replies "You're welcome". :v:[/QUOTE] What'sthejoke?

[QUOTE=cpt.armadillo;38505391]What'sthejoke?[/QUOTE] Think about the dialogue a little more.

I'm sat in English and people are taking it in turns to read out a paragraph of a book we've been studying recently. After yet another person finishes, the teacher calls out for another person to continue, and I bravely volunteer. I'm not a bad reader at all, however I seem to have incredible precision when it comes to finding a phrase that could relate to something sexual. So there I am, reading aloud to the rest of the class when all of a sudden... "...I reach down to grab the bulge in my pocket." That was it. For the next 5 minutes my mouth acted as a volcano as I burst out laughing, awakening Thor himself as I attempted to gag myself in order to be quiet. I sit at the front of the class, so as I turned around, all I saw was 30 pairs of eyes staring at me. :v: T'was an awkward moment indeed. The worse thing is that it only happened about 2 months ago, so clearly my 15 year old mind still contains an ounce of immaturity. Still nothing compared to half the stuff in this thread.

[QUOTE=WolfeClaw;38506057]I'm sat in English and people are taking it in turns to read out a paragraph of a book we've been studying recently. After yet another person finishes, the teacher calls out for another person to continue, and I bravely volunteer. I'm not a bad reader at all, however I seem to have incredible precision when it comes to finding a phrase that could relate to something sexual. So there I am, reading aloud to the rest of the class when all of a sudden... "...I reach down to grab the bulge in my pocket." That was it. For the next 5 minutes my mouth acted as a volcano as I burst out laughing, awakening Thor himself as I attempted to gag myself in order to be quiet. I sit at the front of the class, so as I turned around, all I saw was 30 pairs of eyes staring at me. :v: T'was an awkward moment indeed. The worse thing is that it only happened about 2 months ago, so clearly my 15 year old mind still contains an ounce of immaturity. Still nothing compared to half the stuff in this thread.[/QUOTE] what was the bulge?

[QUOTE=Blazyd;38503265]and everyone is staring at you[/QUOTE] And people in a rush are honking their horns

On a bus with a girl I know who likes me but I don't feel like asking her out... Were talking about restaurants and how we hate busses but she somehow put 2 and 2 together and said "well you know were both fat so its hard to have a bus seat after eating at a restaurant" or something to that extent. On a crowded bus. This is why I want to lose weight. To stop shit like this from happening. I'm not even really fat. Just a little on the chubbers side! D:

[QUOTE=titopei;38506800]And people in a rush are honking their horns[/QUOTE] I had a huge post about people honking at me during my only time driving, but then FP went down and ate it.

[QUOTE=RoflKawpter;38508540]On a bus with a girl I know who likes me but I don't feel like asking her out... Were talking about restaurants and how we hate busses but she somehow put 2 and 2 together and said "well you know were both fat so its hard to have a bus seat after eating at a restaurant" or something to that extent. On a crowded bus. This is why I want to lose weight. To stop shit like this from happening. I'm not even really fat. Just a little on the chubbers side! D:[/QUOTE] wat

[QUOTE=greendevil;38508580]wat[/QUOTE] I dunno, I guess its more embarassing because her and her group of friends I occasionally hang out with are damned immature and think its okay to act like total incompetents in public. :p

[QUOTE=RoflKawpter;38508540]On a bus with a girl I know who likes me but I don't feel like asking her out... Were talking about restaurants and how we hate busses but she somehow put 2 and 2 together and said "well you know were both fat so its hard to have a bus seat after eating at a restaurant" or something to that extent. On a crowded bus. This is why I want to lose weight. To stop shit like this from happening. I'm not even really fat. Just a little on the chubbers side! D:[/QUOTE] i don't think you realize it, but she asked you out. "oh after you and I eat at a resturant, it'll be hard to have a seat together." Come on man, get it together.

bus boners, all the fucking time also I'm not a people person and tend to over or underreact to displays of affection/hatred towards me

[QUOTE=latin_geek;38509319]bus boners, all the fucking time also I'm not a people person and tend to over or underreact to displays of affection/hatred towards me[/QUOTE] last day of school so i didnt bring my bag to hide the bus boner get bus boner fight starts and a guy thrown around, eventually being throw headfirst into my crotch i still have a bus boner he says "oh god why" and gets up and punches the guy in the face a few times, winning the fight.

other night I was going down on a girl, everything was going good except I could not get it up for the life of me, no matter how hard I tried. she was a solid 7/10 as well she reaches down my pants, feels my tiny limpdick and makes a disappointing "oh..." sound feels [SUB]so[/SUB] [SUB][sub]bad[/SUB][/sub] [sub][sub][sub]:([/sub][/sub][/sub]

[QUOTE=Sleepy Head;38509836]other night I was going down on a girl, everything was going good except I could not get it up for the life of me, no matter how hard I tried. she was a solid 7/10 as well she reaches down my pants, feels my tiny limpdick and makes a disappointing "oh..." sound feels [SUB]so[/SUB] [SUB][sub]bad[/SUB][/sub] [sub][sub][sub]:([/sub][/sub][/sub][/QUOTE] this is the part where you say "that's my phone"

[QUOTE=Suttles;38509845]this is the part where you say "that's my phone"[/QUOTE] I have a really squishy phone then....

[QUOTE=titopei;38503257]The feel when you stall in the middle of an intersection.[/QUOTE] Some guy's car up at our highschool stalled, and everyone was honking, then suddenly, six teenagers bail out of the car and go fucking NASCAR and push the car and make it restart.

[QUOTE=Asaratha;38509709]your boner gives people super powers[/QUOTE] bad fetishes are my kryptonite

[QUOTE=Suttles;38510051]bad fetishes are my kryptonite[/QUOTE] if we have sex will i be able to fly???

one time when me and my girl were playing hookie (her mom was a fucking nazi, i couldn't see her outside of school.) and we were cuddling on the couch after hot steamy sex and a nice relaxing shower... something happened. something... [I]terrible.[/I] I farted. It wasn't just a normal creep-out-the-ass fart, it was a FUCK-YOU-MAKE-WAY-IMMA-COMIN' fart. It was loud, it stank, and make both me and her jump. she looks at me with [I]that look[/I] and i was redfaced but laughing because it was so goddamn violent, this fart. Then i kissed her and said sorry and we fucked again while watching Serenity.

[QUOTE=Suttles;38506225]what was the bulge?[/QUOTE] A concealed gun. :v: I oddly can't remember the name of the book, but it was something to do with a soldier who got his face blown off by a hand grenade and is seeking revenge. Strange book to study, that's for sure.

I got a boner from just hearing the word "boobies". In college. In front of people. Why boner. I was asked to get up but I didn't. I doubt they'd want to see bulging.

[QUOTE=digigamer17;38513190]I got a boner from just hearing the word "boobies". In college. In front of people. Why boner. I was asked to get up but I didn't. I doubt they'd want to see bulging.[/QUOTE] You named your cock bulging? Also don't worry, I get a boner by looking at someones face.

[QUOTE=D:\;38513235][B]You named your cock bulging? [/B]Also don't worry, I get a boner by looking at someones face.[/QUOTE] They wanted to test if I was gay or straight. But the thing is I'm bisexual.

-Trying to impress a girl you know in rl by playing a game with her online. -Installs the game on shit but only good computer in the house -Runs game while still flirting with her on Steam -Game crashes, BSODing computer -Computer is your father's computer -"Son I need to check my email" [B]EDIT:[/B] This happened two years ago. And yet I still got friendzoned.

So i had to go shopping with my family the other day. I got a boner out of nowhere before we had to leave, so im sitting there on the couch with a hard on. And my mom starts yelling at me to get up because we had to go. I'm like oh.. okay mom, but i gotta piss first. So i awkwardly wobble my way to the bathroom which isn't far from where i was sitting. Trying to hide it from my parents, and while im in the bathroom i quick take a piss and try to beg my boner to go away. They start rushing me again, so i had to go out to the garage with a half chub. Now that i think back it wasn't that bad, just embarrassing..

When I was a kid, got a chance to stay home "sick" for spitting chewed up cereal in the toliet. Brother tries the same damn thing, mom finds out, and I get slapped and sent to school. After the dentist, I didn't wanna go to school and I tried hanging out of the car door and trying to quickly make myelf throw up. Mom catches me, I get slapped, and sent to school. Decided to talk to a cute girl in class "Hi, my name's Bob, got a pen?" "No", walk back to my desk thinking, good going moron.

One of my co-workers brings his sibling into work. I wasn't sure if it was a girl or boy so I said "hey buddy," trusting my gut feeling that it was a boy. My co-worker then introduced his daughter to me. Pure Venetian bigoli spewing forth from my pockets.

Why do so many of these involve stupid/shitty people?