Embarrassing Situations Thread V1.0 - Oh, the shame! - General

[QUOTE=Lijitsu;38537863]Ask her about her art. Ask her what drew her to art in the first place. Doodle her something. Ask her about her interests in video games, music, television... it sounds really cliche, but that really is how you deal with the problem of being 'too alike.' As you learn more and more about her tastes, you can go more in depth about them. If she likes something you know a bit about, ask her what her favorite part of it is. I know how hard it is to try and think of questions and things to talk about, - I'm actually the worst person to be friends with if you like constant contact, because I don't start conversations unless I specifically have something to tell you and typically don't have anything interesting enough to arbitrarily bring up to continue the conversation - but it's worth it to strain your brain a bit to do so.[/QUOTE] Her "Religion" as said on Facebook was "Yaoi" I have a bad feeling about this, but thank you so much for your help.

[QUOTE=rikimaru6811;38538086]Her "Religion" as said on Facebook was "Yaoi" I have a bad feeling about this, but thank you so much for your help.[/QUOTE] She's a man trap for sure. Seriously don't do it.

Just came back from my friend's birthday, first time seeing him in 6 years, I was the only one who turned up. god has he changed, now's he's some wangster cunt, come on your fathers makes like 7 digits a year, act like a proper person and not a hobo . A hardcore wangster who listens to glee The embarrassing part comes from his mother saying "Hey, you haven't changed one bit!' when I first walked into the house. Of course, I screwed that part up by cracking wise about a game he was playing "You know, this game is as immersive as fucking yourself with a cactus, there's no questioning it's immersiveness for you, just that it's really, really painful." Who else would hear it but his mother and father, who gave me a strange look

Everyone is in silence doing a maths paper. I make myself laugh; suddenly I'm in hysterics. Another time; It was home clothes day, I get up to get paper in maths, I trip and during the fall I plunge my hand down my girlfriend at the times top like Jimmy Savile.

i'm taking antibiotics and it's giving me gases class over, i get up and rip out a loud one that is all

Wow holy fuck guys this birthday party no one showed up shit is pretty depressing. You must have some asshole friends if they don't even say why they missed it

About a year ago, my English class made us watch 9/11 videos to remember it and whatnot. So there were these kids in back of me. They are considered the "popular" crowd in my school. So they are cracking jokes and shit which makes me die inside being that my cousin died in the south tower. So my eyes water because of me remembering seeing his name at the memorial. I was made fun of for the rest of that week for crying. What the fuck

[QUOTE=CarmineGear;38545673]About a year ago, my English class made us watch 9/11 videos to remember it and whatnot. So there were these kids in back of me. They are considered the "popular" crowd in my school. So they are cracking jokes and shit which makes me die inside being that my cousin died in the south tower. So my eyes water because of me remembering seeing his name at the memorial. I was made fun of for the rest of that week for crying. What the fuck[/QUOTE] its okay, i lost an uncle in the attacks :(

[QUOTE=CarmineGear;38545673]About a year ago, my English class made us watch 9/11 videos to remember it and whatnot. So there were these kids in back of me. They are considered the "popular" crowd in my school. So they are cracking jokes and shit which makes me die inside being that my cousin died in the south tower. So my eyes water because of me remembering seeing his name at the memorial. I was made fun of for the rest of that week for crying. What the fuck[/QUOTE] You really ought to have stood up for your cousin. Disrupt class and call them out.

Oh shit, 4 years ago when i was in year 10 we had a PSHE lesson with a fairly attractive teacher. It was the last lesson of the winter term and everyone was pretty excited, however I was pretty high and happy just chilling to music in one ear and half listening to the teacher. She was talking about morals, and told the class how if someone told her that she couldn't do something, she would definitely do it to prove them wrong. "Suck my dick" was what came to my mind. A second went past as i noticed the teacher stop talking. I looked up to the class and my teacher staring at me. "What did you say?" asked the teacher. Murmurs of "He said 'suck my dick'" circulated the class and i guess i must have said it out loud or i have special mind powers and shit. Luckily for me my teacher smiled at me and it was an okay day after that

Sat in class. Try to stealth a fart out. It makes a sound similar to that, once again, of a Reaper from Mass Effect. Worst day of my life this week.

[QUOTE=HeavyGuy;38545922]Sat in class. Try to stealth a fart out. It makes a sound similar to that, once again, of a Reaper from Mass Effect. Worst day of my life this week.[/QUOTE]at least you didn't shit yourself

[QUOTE=CarmineGear;38545673]About a year ago, my English class made us watch 9/11 videos to remember it and whatnot. So there were these kids in back of me. They are considered the "popular" crowd in my school. So they are cracking jokes and shit which makes me die inside being that my cousin died in the south tower. So my eyes water because of me remembering seeing his name at the memorial. I was made fun of for the rest of that week for crying. What the fuck[/QUOTE] some of the popular kids at my school were joking about cancer and shit considering most of my relatives who have died have died because of cancer, it makes me really depressed

I have a good embarrassing story that's more funny than anything now. Back in early 2011 I was dating a rebound girl after ending a two year long relationship. This new girl and I regularly have sex as if we're the two remaining people on the planet. It was pretty much every day nonstop for nearly 6 months; in fact, I was starting to develop my core muscles just from the amount of sex. Anyways, for anyone here who has experienced a sex-a-thon you lose count of the amount of condoms you use; which brings me to my downfall. At this time it's around May of 2011 and my girlfriend and I were participating in a rather heated session; upon finishing I take off the condom, tie it off and toss it in my closet to dispose of discreetly later on after she left. (I lived at home) So anyways, we both get distracted and decide to spontaneously go out to dinner, which made me forget to bring the balloon carrying my millions of bastard children to be binned. Fast forward to July, my family and I had been preparing to move to Greece so my mum was gathering up blankets and linens from everyone's closet when she made quite a frightful discovery. It so happens that resting between two folded blankets was a snake skin, or so she initially thought. Upon closer inspection she identifies my crusty bellend bandana and gingerly removes it to show my dad. Mind you, my parents thought I had been a virgin until this point (Which was the furthest thing from the truth) so this discovery shocked them and their newly discovered Catholic faith. I at the time was staying the night at a friend's house to sort of stay out of the way of the movers and give my parents more space to do their cleaning. As I'm coming in after a long night of gaming with friends I notice everyone in my family is sitting in the living room; my sister even took the time to stop what she was doing and drive over for this. My dad takes me aside and basically asks me if that was my condom; embarrassingly I take the credit and from that point it was if the leve broke. I was instantly bombarded with teasing and condom related jokes. Then shortly thereafter I received a long lecture from my mother about how I was going to burn in hell for my mortal sins; (I'm a closet Atheist) so I just suck it up and deal with it. I don't mind the teasing, but my family tends to bring it up at every chance that they can benefit at the expense of my embarrassment.

[QUOTE=Suttles;38546453]some of the popular kids at my school were joking about cancer and shit considering most of my relatives who have died have died because of cancer, it makes me really depressed[/QUOTE]Disrupt the class and tell them how that's wrong. Don't include your relatives until the end, so it hits them harder. Look up some rhetorical skills and make your voice boomy, and you can sure get some applause from doing this.

[QUOTE=tratzzz;38529287]In some bowling places there are these lego tables or whatever. Basically a table, with a hole in the center with bricks and 4 building pads. We built a giant tower and a plane through it. That was fun. Also lots of dicks have been built. Also, how the hell can you guys have no birthdays? It is like one of the funnest time of the year. Or well, a fun time. Even if it is in a bowling or in somebodys small home. My friend got 15, had a party. Not many people, like 6 maybe, but they had loadsofweed and had fun. Other friends is having a birthday soon, next week I think. Usually we blow up a shitton of fireworks then.[/QUOTE] I haven't had a birthday.... [I]celebration[/I] since....I was 9-10 yrs old. [sp]Mostly because after that point I had 0 friends...being the REALLY shy guy who can't talk to other people besides going into a convenience store and buying myself something....is not good for making friends....also not good for depression...[/sp]

[QUOTE=etrius0023;38546948]I haven't had a birthday.... [I]celebration[/I] since....I was 9-10 yrs old. [sp]Mostly because after that point I had 0 friends...being the REALLY shy guy who can't talk to other people besides going into a convenience store and buying myself something....is not good for making friends....also not good for depression...[/sp][/QUOTE] I didn't have any parties after 9-10 because I didn't like being the center of attention. I usually just had a family dinner

Oh man yesterday I was at my friend's house and I saw this mysteriously [i]familiar[/i] type of stain on their leather couch. I was startled and thought 'who the hell masturbates on the living room couch right next to the room where the children sleep?' I asked "what is [i]that[/i]?" to them, then suddenly my friends [i][url=http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?p=38270773#post38270773]11 year old sister[/url][/i] came and scraped it with her nail and said she'll clean that up later, now I am more suspicious and awkward about that family.

Soo.. I talked to her this morning. Basically I went down like this: (Mostly from Lijitsu's advices) "What drew you to drawing in the first place?" "Bla Bla Bla" "Your favorite music?" "Bla Bla Bla" After a while, the conversation turned into "What do you want to do when you grow up?" I told her that I would become a Police Officer. Then she told me [B]"But you won't be able to marry with religious people or people that have tattoos"[/B] Then I said without thinking first [B]"But you aren't religious or having any tattoo when you grow up"[/B] And then I realized that I had just told her to marry me when both of us grew up. :suicide: The conversation turned out decent though.

[QUOTE=rikimaru6811;38547685]Soo.. I talked to her this morning. Basically I went down like this: (Mostly from Lijitsu's advices) "What drew you to drawing in the first place?" "Bla Bla Bla" "Your favorite music?" "Bla Bla Bla" After a while, the conversation turned into "What do you want to do when you grow up?" I told her that I would become a Police Officer. Then she told me [B]"But you won't be able to marry with religious people or people that have tattoos"[/B] Then I said without thinking first [B]"But you aren't religious or having any tattoo when you grow up"[/B] And then I realized that I had just told her to marry me when both of us grew up. :suicide: The conversation turned out decent though.[/QUOTE] Well, hey, at least now you've made some inroads. Well done. Don't mind the taste of shoe leather, you get used to it. I started carrying around salt to try and make it taste a little better.

I was asleep in class and someone nudged my shoulder and said "What are you doing?", having just been awoken and being in a snarky mood, I flatly replied, "I'm having a wank." I then turned up and saw the teacher's face. Since then he's never really liked me, luckily I don't have him as a teacher anymore.

[QUOTE=Stonewall;38517068]She looked to be about 6 or 7. ;c[/QUOTE] Back when I about 7, my mate and I were hanging out with some kid but I couldn't for the life of me tell if they were a dude or a chick. It was pissing me off so much that I thought, "Fuck it I have to ask." They told me and I didn't hear what they said so for the life of me I will never know because there was no chance I was asking that question again. [editline]22nd November 2012[/editline] Probably my most embarrassing story though honestly I didn't really give a shit, happened to me about 3 years ago. I'm at this party and it's going great, I'm enjoying some absolutely shit vodka and for some reason this guy I don't know gives me all his ciders(I'm pretty sure he didn't roofie them). Cut to the morning where I wake up feeling seedy as fuck. I roll around and one of my mates asks me with a grin on his face, "You remember what you did last night champ?" I'm pretty fucking nervous at this stage because I have no recollection, but I start thinking. I remember passing out on the floor with nothing but a cushion to rest my head and that's when I remember it. I had to piss, I had to take a huge leak but in my intoxicated state and in the dark I was unable to operate the door to leave the room so I had a better idea. I got on my knees(So as to be discrete) and unzipped my fly. I proceeded to urinate all over the room, this was the biggest piss I have ever taken in my life. This is going everywhere. There's about 6 other people in the room just watching and laughing at me hose everything(It wasn't their house). I finished up and passed out again, in a pool of my urine.

And that is why I don't want to get drunk.

I just bumped into an old friend. Shit whatshernamewhatshernamewhatshername... JESS! Yes, that's it! "Hi Jess! How's it going?" "Um... I'm Kelly. Jess is my dog. We're fine thanks..." I then made a stupid, slightly inappropriate joke to try to cover my embarrassment, but it didn't work. Luckily she has a good sense of humour. That, or she thought I was insane and that it was best to keep smiling.

[QUOTE=Kirbyfactor;38550494]And that is why I don't want to get drunk.[/QUOTE] That's not drunk, that's completely smashed. There is a [i]very[/i] big difference.

[QUOTE=Lijitsu;38550626]That's not drunk, that's completely smashed. There is a [i]very[/i] big difference.[/QUOTE] Do explain.

[QUOTE=Kirbyfactor;38550731]Do explain.[/QUOTE] [quote][img]http://thumbnails.visually.netdna-cdn.com/blood-alcohol-content-effects_50290da778568.jpg[/img][/quote] Being drunk is around 6 to 9 on that chart. I'm guessing he was a 10 to 15.

Just had my graduation ceremony, when this guy (asshole) went up on stage to speak and began talking about how he wishes for world peace and stuff, me and my table started chanting sarcastically "YES WE CAN" "USA" USA" (I'm in Singapore btw) The place quietened down and suddenly this resounding and synchronized "USA" rang out, hanging in the air for a few agonizing minutes as people turned to our table and stared at us. I still have not got to the embarrassing part. It was when the principal came up and said "Look table 29, this isn't the US election calm down, this isn't Obama up here" I turned to my table and said "Hardy har har, look at the fat man on stage, ain't he the king of comedy." and then I received a tap on my shoulder from who else but the discipline master (my previous form teacher), who just gave me this weird expression, between anger and laughter

Okay, I got a couple of good school ones for this. A little while ago me and my friends come with me to have a shit (because it's the morning and I don't want to have to trudge across the grounds in the rain on my own) and they tell me they'll wait outside. As I go to park my ass on the seat, I hear the door open. Assuming it's my friends, I bust out the trade Ainsley face- [IMG]http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/114/193/1298574546091.jpg[/IMG] -and peak round the cubicle door. Safe assured, it's not my friends at all and is some poor kid a couple years above. Without even thinking to say "sorry I thought you were my friend!" or just dropping the face ASAP, I somehow find it COMPLETELY OKAY to keep the face up, and slowly close the door. I slam my head against the wall and stand there in self pity until he leaves I hear him leave the room. Next story. I was stood in the changing rooms with like 30 other kids getting changed, when one of the PE teachers comes in to tell us to go to a certain room after instead of the hall or something. Just then, one of the little shits in my year thinks it's totally cool to de-pant me, undies and all. Maintaining perfect eye-contact, the only person that saw my peepee was me, the de-panter, and the teacher. He sort of widened his eyes and stared dead at my face as I pulled up my trousers. It was then that I knew we were bound to a sacred creed, never to speak of this ever again. In revenge I de-panted the de-panter infront of all the girls in our year later :v:

Yesterday I was sparring in Krav Maga with a guy who was bigger and stronger than me. I was kinda feeling confident and since me and him are great friends and we decided to really hit just for fun instead of just using moderate strength. Keep in mind that we wear the appropriate protection so it's ok to hit, we're not suicidal. Anyway, what happens is that I block a punch, I dodge another one and as I moved closer for the uppercut he kicks me in the chest and I start rolling backwards so I can do a backflip and get back in the fight again. Except this went terribly bad and as I was rolling backwards, I was rolling with such speed that I couldn't move my neck in time and I kinda stood there upside down with just my head supporting my body on the ground for like 3 seconds. It was a 1 in a 1000 thing that happened to me, so everybody just turned around and laughed at me. I laughed to of course since I stayed in that position without knowing how the fuck I managed to do that. My sensei even gave me a rant: "HEY, retard! Is this for fighting of for gymnastics?"