Embarrassing Situations Thread V1.0 - Oh, the shame! - General

Okay, I've got one. I lived in Oregon when I was a teenager, and I smoked a lot of weed. And I do mean [i]a lot[/i] of weed. I'd never had anything with hash butter in it before, though. I knew this crusty old hippie who made EVERYTHING with it. SO I traded him acouple of CD's and my old CD player for a couple of ganja crispie treats. (Rice crispie treats made with G-butter) Not knowing how potent they were, I scarfed down the lot of them like the greedy fuck I am. Bad idea number one. Then, I got on the bus to get back to my house. Bad idea number two. Made it about 6 stops from my house when the shit really kicked in. I was high as fuck and the motion of the bus wasn't agreeing with me. Made it two more stops before I projectile vomited all over the back of the seat and head of the person in front of me. I don't remember much after that. I know I staggered my way home and into bed, but that's really it.

Was at the house of the girl I'm trying to woo. We were talking about what movie to watch, and she's like, "I don't care, I'm easy" and before she finished I blurted out "evidently not or we would've" and I look over and see her sister making the most shocked face I've ever seen :v oh god why do I fuck up

so did you fuck or not

[QUOTE=Pernoccuous;38573203]so did you fuck or not[/QUOTE] we played Left 4 Dead 2 for a couple of hours I was laying next to her that's about as close as it got

My classmate (girl) wanted to pass a pen to someone in need, I was sitting in the middle and wanted to help, but she refused and threw it over my head for some reason. The dude behind me didn't catch it and it fell down somewhere. I said "you know, it would've gone better if you gave me [the pen]" The thing is, skipping all russian-to-english translation detals, it sounded like "It would've gone better if you fucked me". And I said it quite loudly. So everyone stares at me and i'm like wtf

[QUOTE=qwerty000;38577875]My classmate (girl) wanted to pass a pen to someone in need, I was sitting in the middle and wanted to help, but she refused and threw it over my head for some reason. The dude behind me didn't catch it and it fell down somewhere. I said "you know, it would've gone better if you gave me [the pen]" The thing is, skipping all russian-to-english translation detals, it sounded like "It would've gone better if you fucked me". And I said it quite loudly. So everyone stares at me and i'm like wtf[/QUOTE] Russian sure sounds complicated...

Last night I was drunk at the pub. I prepare to go outside briefly for some fresh air but I notice the door won't open. I stand there, pulling, pushing, with all my might. I turn around. People stare. I grin awkwardly, not even giving a shit at this point, and casually walk back. Now that I'm sober I realize what the problem was. Didn't turn down the motherfucking door handle.

[QUOTE=Kahgarak;38580236]Last night I was drunk at the pub. I prepare to go outside briefly for some fresh air but I notice the door won't open. I stand there, pulling, pushing, with all my might. I turn around. People stare. I grin awkwardly, not even giving a shit at this point, and casually walk back. Now that I'm sober I realize what the problem was. Didn't turn down the motherfucking door handle.[/QUOTE] Haha, I know that feeling. I had the same problem getting into a local pubs restroom. In my drunken haze I thought it was a push/pull door. I calmly returned to my stool and told my friend, "I guess I'm not pissing." He just looked at me and cracked up. :v:

[QUOTE=Kahgarak;38580236]Last night I was drunk at the pub. I prepare to go outside briefly for some fresh air but I notice the door won't open. I stand there, pulling, pushing, with all my might. I turn around. People stare. I grin awkwardly, not even giving a shit at this point, and casually walk back. Now that I'm sober I realize what the problem was. Didn't turn down the motherfucking door handle.[/QUOTE] Stuff like that always happens to me when I go drunk into restrooms. Sometimes I can't figure out how to flush a toilet. And once in a pub restroom I couldn't turn the faucet tap off at all. I was turning the tap to the left, then to the right, I even tried setting both taps in balance - didn't help. The water just kept pouring and I started to panic. I thought of it as of a serious business and proceeded to walk out of door casually, thinking: "Fuck. I broke it, hope nobody saw me coming out.." Later that night I really had to pee so I walk in, finish my job and see that the faucet is fixed and there are no signs of damage and that there's no hired muscle waiting for the guy who broke it (me). Best feeling ever! [I]Still no clue if it really was broken or if it was just my finesse while being drunk to this day..[/I]

[QUOTE=Kahgarak;38580236]Last night I was drunk at the pub. I prepare to go outside briefly for some fresh air but I notice the door won't open. I stand there, pulling, pushing, with all my might. I turn around. People stare. I grin awkwardly, not even giving a shit at this point, and casually walk back. Now that I'm sober I realize what the problem was. Didn't turn down the motherfucking door handle.[/QUOTE] I couldn't close my bedrooms ventilation window one time when I got home drunk. It seems I just thought "Fuck it" and went to sleep. It was a wee-bit cold when I woke up in the morning, due to it being winter and during the night, the temperature went down to -30 celsius. :v:

I started to listen to music while in bus while my headphones were not plugged in.

when i was like 9-10 I was a HUGE nirvana fan. I loved the song [URL="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CyWw8ry-yiQ"]"Rape me". [/URL] I had no idea what rape was, but I loved castlevania as well. I found a rapier in castlevania. I assumed rape meant scratch or stab, because the sword I had "Raped" things. I loved microsoft paint and loved doodling and fucking around in it. I decided to make my own desktop image, with the song "Rape me". I drew 2 stickmen. One was scratching the other's face. Then I put "RAPE ME" in huge letters. My mom came in a day later and was like "REMOVE THAT OFF YOUR COMPUTER NOW". I was confused but abliged, I assumed she didn't like violence and thought nothing of it. She called all of my relatives wondering what was wrong with me, and if I've ever been 'raped'. I walked up to her and said "mom i was raped by grandmother's cat". Dear god her face, I thought getting scratched was bad now. I think my dad cat on to where "RAPE ME" came from, since he loved nirvana. He talked with my mom and shit. They finally asked me what does "rape" mean, so I googled a rapier for them. I wish I had the picture still, but its on my old computer that broke.

i think i posted this on fp a few years ago but not here when i was in pre-school (i guess 5 years old at the time?) there was this kid in my class who everyone made fun of for being incredibly dumb. i guess english was his second language or something because he always said some of the weirdest shit. so one day we had some event and a few people in the class brought treats. the guy brought cookies and i decided they were the best cookies i ever tasted and spent the rest of the day thinking about his cookies. so while we were sitting next to each other working on some project i whispered to him "will you marry me", trying to obscure about it, and then he blurts out so everyone can hear "I CAN ONLY MARRY MY WIFE."

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;38588751]i think i posted this on fp a few years ago but not here when i was in pre-school (i guess 5 years old at the time?) there was this kid in my class who everyone made fun of for being incredibly dumb. i guess english was his second language or something because he always said some of the weirdest shit. so one day we had some event and a few people in the class brought treats. the guy brought cookies and i decided they were the best cookies i ever tasted and spent the rest of the day thinking about his cookies. so while we were sitting next to each other working on some project i whispered to him "will you marry me", trying to obscure about it, and then he blurts out so everyone can hear "I CAN ONLY MARRY MY WIFE."[/QUOTE] did u fuck him

what this wasn't about sex it was about acquiring a professional cookie baker

Me and my friend are at Splish Splash, this waterpark in Long Island, and we take a toilet break. My friend goes into one of the cubicles and takes a shit, and comes out like "I just destroyed that toilet, go look", so I walk in to see this disgusting mess he left behind, and it's the worst smelling, grossest thing I've ever seen, so I walk out of the cubicle laughing my ass off, and this guy is waiting outside, without thinking I just went to wash my hands, all I hear from the cubicle is "EUGH" and the guy walks out staring at me with disgust as he walks to another cubicle.

[QUOTE=Suttles;38588636]when i was like 9-10 I was a HUGE nirvana fan. I loved the song [URL="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CyWw8ry-yiQ"]"Rape me". [/URL] I had no idea what rape was, but I loved castlevania as well. I found a rapier in castlevania. I assumed rape meant scratch or stab, because the sword I had "Raped" things. I loved microsoft paint and loved doodling and fucking around in it. I decided to make my own desktop image, with the song "Rape me". I drew 2 stickmen. One was scratching the other's face. Then I put "RAPE ME" in huge letters. My mom came in a day later and was like "REMOVE THAT OFF YOUR COMPUTER NOW". I was confused but abliged, I assumed she didn't like violence and thought nothing of it. She called all of my relatives wondering what was wrong with me, and if I've ever been 'raped'. I walked up to her and said "mom i was raped by grandmother's cat". Dear god her face, I thought getting scratched was bad now. I think my dad cat on to where "RAPE ME" came from, since he loved nirvana. He talked with my mom and shit. They finally asked me what does "rape" mean, so I googled a rapier for them. I wish I had the picture still, but its on my old computer that broke.[/QUOTE] That reminds me of a time when I was really young, I was in school and we had to draw a picture of a king or something. So I drew a king with a cool robe and a crown and he was holding a sceptre (although at the time I didn't know what the word for 'sceptre' was but I had remembered seeing one somewhere so I knew what they looked like). Anyway later that day my teacher pulls me across to his desk and asks what it was and I didn't know what to say so I just said 'stick'. He seemed a little exasperated and he just said 'ok'. I took the picture home and showed it to my parents and they both howled with laughter. It was only years later that I realised that it looked like the king was holding some kind of gigantic golden dick. The events of that day suddenly made sense.

[QUOTE=halflife_123;38590944]That reminds me of a time when I was really young, I was in school and we had to draw a picture of a king or something. So I drew a king with a cool robe and a crown and he was holding a sceptre (although at the time I didn't know what the word for 'sceptre' was but I had remembered seeing one somewhere so I knew what they looked like). Anyway later that day my teacher pulls me across to his desk and asks what it was and I didn't know what to say so I just said 'stick'. He seemed a little exasperated and he just said 'ok'. I took the picture home and showed it to my parents and they both howled with laughter. It was only years later that I realised that it looked like the king was holding some kind of gigantic golden dick. The events of that day suddenly made sense.[/QUOTE] Fuck I'm laughing so much I clicked zing instead of funny.

[QUOTE=Suttles;38588636]rape[/QUOTE] similar story here when i was a little bit older than that and still learning english, i came across a point where i started to do some on my own time to impress family and at one point, after learning several words and feeling very accomplished - i approached my mother, and learning of such words like sexist/racist/et cetera was i conviced the 'ist' meant you were against something, and proudly let my mother know i was a rapist. yep.

it was even more embarrassing after i raped her

[QUOTE=qwerty000;38577875]My classmate (girl) wanted to pass a pen to someone in need, I was sitting in the middle and wanted to help, but she refused and threw it over my head for some reason. The dude behind me didn't catch it and it fell down somewhere. I said "you know, it would've gone better if you gave me [the pen]" The thing is, skipping all russian-to-english translation detals, it sounded like "It would've gone better if you fucked me". And I said it quite loudly. So everyone stares at me and i'm like wtf[/QUOTE] Took me 2 minutes to get it being russian. Дала it is

[QUOTE=Suttles;38509684]last day of school so i didnt bring my bag to hide the bus boner get bus boner fight starts and a guy thrown around, eventually being throw headfirst into my crotch i still have a bus boner he says "oh god why" and gets up and punches the guy in the face a few times, winning the fight.[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=Asaratha;38509709]your boner gives people super powers[/QUOTE] Oh my god, I'm ridiculously sick right now so my entire body's sore and unpleasant feeling, upon reading this I entered a nonstoppable, heavy laugh that ended up in my dad pounding on my door because he thought I was dying. Oh god the pain I experienced while laughing was terrible, I have tears rolling down my face.

I love this thread. Never stop.

I was playing soccer in phys ed at school, and the ball got caught in the goal net, so I put my foot in to get it out and the net wrapped around my foot, so I fell on my back, and everyone laughed, and then the entire goal post tipped and hit me in the balls.

[QUOTE=0FucksGiven;38600112]Oh my god, I'm ridiculously sick right now so my entire body's sore and unpleasant feeling, upon reading this I entered a nonstoppable, heavy laugh that ended up in my dad pounding on my door because he thought I was dying. Oh god the pain I experienced while laughing was terrible, I have tears rolling down my face.[/QUOTE] THIS IS EMBARRASSING ~

When I was little I could not say fort correctly, I would end up saying 'fuck'. So, my older cousin and I had built a fort in the forest by my grandmothers house and I would always ask her "Wanna go to the fuck?" she knew what was wrong, so she would constantly ask me where I wanted to go "to the fuck!" and would like giggle to herself or whatever. Kinda embarrassing :v:

Went to the dentist today, different nurse was there. While she was talking with another person there and leaning over me, either an oddly high roll of fat or a boob was definitely on my face. Not sure if she noticed :v:

[QUOTE=Mr.Heal;38603364]When I was little I could not say fort correctly, I would end up saying 'fuck'. So, my older cousin and I had built a fort in the forest by my grandmothers house and I would always ask her "Wanna go to the fuck?" she knew what was wrong, so she would constantly ask me where I wanted to go "to the fuck!" and would like giggle to herself or whatever. Kinda embarrassing :v:[/QUOTE] My mom has a video where I point at an ant and keep calling it its finnish nickname, "murkku", except I couldn't yet say "r" at the time so it came out as "mulkku" (translates to prick, penis, wanker). She too kept asking me what I was pointing at and giggling like a little girl.

[QUOTE=ramirez!;38603442]Went to the dentist today, different nurse was there. While she was talking with another person there and leaning over me, either an oddly high roll of fat or a boob was definitely on my face. Not sure if she noticed :v:[/QUOTE]SCOOOOOORRRE When i was in highschool some rather big girl slipped me a note and me being dumb and it being last period i just put it in my pocket. I passed her and she was standing at the waterfountain and i just waved at her. Then when i got off the bus i read the note and it said to meet her by the fountan if i liked her. I decided ide try to talk to her the next day but then when i looked at her it didnt seem like such a good idea and i was kind of anti social so i just left her alone. I later found out after the whole deal she was spreading rumors about me being gay. To this day though i dont regret not reading the note right away, trying to talk myself out of that and not hurt her feelings would have been painful for me at the time.

High school really was the stupidest shit ever. Because I wanted to focus on my studies so I was more attractive to colleges, play sports and hang out with friends, I never dated and didn't want to date because a relationship would just add more time and stress and wouldn't last long and would just be awkward in the end. Because of my alternative focus on school, people spread rumors that I was gay. I mean, why? Are you really that immature? [sp]I like female ass and tits[/sp]