Embarrassing Situations Thread V1.0 - Oh, the shame! - General

[QUOTE=MuffinZerg;38624941][b]Such is life in russia story approaching[/b] Gather your tiny balls, this is one hell of a story in which I succesfully evaded the first mission of my mafia life. That was around a month ago. I have a few cool guys, my best bros, but we rarely see eachother. This time we all were quite tired because of our activities and we decided to make a drunkard party together. And it was done, one guy provided us with a shelter for the night and also two more cool guys! The plan was that we all gather in the apartament and then go to buy some drinks. We went to buy drinks and also meet the last guy that was late. So at first we arrived to the meeting place with that guy. I proceeded to buy some fast food from a small shop nearby. While eating my piece of crap food I casually observed two 30-40 years old guys in black clothes eating and speaking all rude and stuff. One of them was charging their phone. We met the other guy, bought some vodka and beers and stuff. I had to carry the bottle of vodka in the pocket of my jacket. Wasn't visible from outside, but I felt like I have a hidden handun and always had to keep my hand in my pocket. Now to the point. We were walking back when I heard [b]"Hey guys!"[/b] from behind. Right, two drunk guys in black leather jackets with tatoos, wearing some parts of russian military uniform. The ones I observed. Me and friends proceeded walking forward relaxed, not showing fear. Although it was clear - we had to make a decision. Try to get away avoiding contact or make contact? They didn't seem too hostile. The drunkards approached us. I responded to them and so did one of my friends. ALthough I kept a cold position and my friend showed full response. Skipping stuff. Soon we were forced to stand on a crossing (almost 00:00 already) and listen to a mother fucking speech of one of the drunkards. He was trying to teach us life. He was telling us about what to do in jail, what's important in life. He was promising to introduce us to a high russian criminal. Basically forced the guy who showed full response to write down his number. The speech was going on for almost a hour and a half. All the guys of mine didn't do anything in attempt to get away and I was constantly thinking "HOW DO WE GET AWAY". I tried doing Jensen style talk with the drunkard, disagreeing to his criminal attitude, but he just ignored everything. That day I learned a lot about russian criminal life. Was not that embarassing, but awkward as fuck.[/QUOTE] Share with us

I've been to the doctors, and when leaving, shouted "Okay, bye, LOVE YOU " as i was walking off. I have been showing a guy where to go and my pants fell down, the full lot, on a main road. Ballsack showing. Another one that happened yesterday: I was at Morgans' bakery. I walked in an asked for a hot sausage roll, this woman had no idea what i meant. She told me to stop being stupid or get out. I stared her in the eyes for a good 20 seconds asking for a hot sausage roll, as i was not really in a good mood. She was insistent that i was talking about a penis. After much deliberation I learnt she was actually a man and that she thought i knew somehow. I got my sausage roll in the end. I did not fuck her.

This one time at night, I was on my phone, writing to a Swedish girl who I really liked. Every time I got a message, it would vibrate. Little did I know, was that my mum heard the vibrations, and apparently there was also some drunk people in the neighbourhood. So in the afternoon, while I was chatting to the girl while playing Team Fortress 2 with her, my mum came in, with my microphone still on and I was asked if I was watching porn. First immediate response was "What." I was questioned and asked for 5 minutes if I was telling the truth or not. All the while the girl was laughing her ass off, even more when I tried explaining it. So it would seem to my mum that my phones vibration, coupled with drunken people making sounds in the night, adds up to porn. Mum's logic 2012.

Embarrassing Situations Thread V2.0 - Did you fuck her ?

Embarrassing Situations Thread V2.0 - She wants the d. dude.

heres an ameberassing situathin i wasin class and i smelled like shit and so on and so forth my entire life [highlight](User was banned for this post ("Shitpost" - Autumn))[/highlight]

[QUOTE=pancaker94;38631209]heres an ameberassing situathin i wasin class and i smelled like shit and so on and so forth my entire life[/QUOTE] Did you fuck her, though?

[QUOTE=pancaker94;38631209]heres an ameberassing situathin i wasin class and i smelled like shit and so on and so forth my entire life[/QUOTE] do you drool in your sleep?

no actually my colon has folded in on itself and theres nothing i can do about it at the moment so thanks

Oh wow, you were being serious?

[QUOTE=loopoo;38631609]Oh wow, you were being serious?[/QUOTE] 100%

What's the disorder / problem you have called?

internal intussusception

Coming to this thread makes me feel better about myself.

[QUOTE=Elfy;38630673]I have been showing a guy where to go and my pants fell down, the full lot, on a main road. Ballsack showing.[/QUOTE] #1 sign you need to buy a belt. And wear it.

Hot girl tries to spark up conversation with me, my friend obligatory responds to what she says with "Cool story bro" Spaghetti fucking everywhere.

[QUOTE=ForDaNords;38633171]Hot girl tries to spark up conversation with me, my friend obligatory responds to what she says with "Cool story bro" Spaghetti fucking everywhere.[/QUOTE] thats actually when you use that to make your friend look like a sperg and talk to the girl i feel like when i say shit my message is never conveyed correctly, please try your best to understand what i'm saying here

[QUOTE=PollytheParrot;38631761]Coming to this thread makes me feel better about myself.[/QUOTE] did u fuck urself?

an ugly nurse touched my dick and i chubbed

School Age: Freshman/Grade 9 Class: First hour I always had to fart in that class because I got the early morning butt burps. It was only ever one or two silent farts, and they didn't smell at all. Still, [b]One day...[/b] I farted. Five seconds later, a fit guy stands up and says "ALRIGHT, WHO WAS IT?" Everybody stares at him, someone says "Who was what?" "EVERY DAY SOMEBODY FARTS IN THIS CLASS." Everybody still staring. He's the only one who has ever noticed my farts. Not so embarrassing because I never got caught. I just held them in after that.

[QUOTE=pancaker94;38633929]an ugly nurse touched my dick and i chubbed[/QUOTE] Did you... yeah you know what im gonna ask.

[QUOTE=Donkey Kong;38634515]Did you... yeah you know what im gonna ask.[/QUOTE] yes

I went to a comic con a couple summers ago with some friends. I had fallen asleep in the car, but since it was so warm, I woke up from it feeling hot, miserable, and having my brain feel fuzzy. The first thing I saw was a McDonald's sign, and the second was us pulling up to a Burger King. My mind went back and forth, telling me "We're going to McDonald's. No, you saw us going to Burger King. But I saw a McD's sign first, so we're going to McD's. You know we're at BK." We went inside, stood around a few minutes waiting to order, and then... My turn. "I'll have a McChicken." The girl laughed and said, "We don't have that..." I gave her the most genuinely confused look, thinking (and almost muttering) "How do you not have McChickens here?" She said, "We have the spicy chicken sandwich," which just confused me more, so I said "...Alright, I'll have that," and finished ordering whatever else. I got my drink, [b]picked up one of the [i]BURGER KING CROWNS[/i] on the counter and put it on[/b], and waited for my food. Halfway through my burger, I bust out laughing because I'd FINALLY realized we weren't at McDonald's. [editline]segin[/editline] I was even aware enough of where I was to order a Whopper meal after trying to order a McChicken.

[QUOTE=MountainWatcher;38630302]Share with us[/QUOTE] Share what? He provided me with enough info to make a Russian Mafia Wiki. To be more precise he belonged to the Thieves Guild of Russia. Thing is that much earlier in soviet times a lot of people got put in jails and to controll them the goverment would make local leaders their informers. These were called "thieves in law". Later everything changed, thieves in law stopped informing the goverment. In 1990's they became the leaders of criminal activities and had A LOT OF POWER. That was the criminal age of Russia and they were swimming in money, chicks and stuff. Actually the followed the model of italian mafia. Bring the big boss a bottle of whiskey for his bday and he will do whatever you ask. The drunkard guy Vovchik was not a big thief obviously, nothing more then a 6. Although he had been to the jail. He told us various shit, like how thieves helped him to get his sister out of trouble. From his words cops are also not alive organisms, but cursed machines aimed to make our life worse. I was told what to say if I get in jail, what's the difference between making the same crime due to different reasons. I was told that mom is the most important thing and I was told that I am a piece of shit for never putting a candle for my mum (means going to the church and lighting up a candle with a prayer). [b]The friggin most funny thing[/b] At the start of the conversation Vovchik was bombarding us with questions to show us how little we know about "life". For example he asked:"What did the musician Krug sing in the original song?" There is a famous bandit style song where the famous text is:"Vladimirsky Central, Northern wind". When we told that to Vovchik he said we were dumbfucks and Krug actually sang "Sasha Northen" becasue it was the name of a famous thief in law. [b]Then after 1,5 hours of bullshit bandit lection[/b] Vovchik asked us what did Krug sing in his original song. I thought:"God damn that quest is bugged". We replied with "Sasha Northen" and wolia, Vovchik said we know something about life and that's good. [b]I didn't choose the thief life, Vovchik picked it out for me [/b] [editline]29th November 2012[/editline] Not to mention all the actual bullshit like:"Boy, tell me who will fucking come to the funeral of a policeguy? Of a big motherfucking police guy of the whole fucking Moscow? His family, his co-workers and all that. How many? Not more then 50 people for sure. And who will come to the funeral of Sasha Northen? EVERY-FUCKING-BODY. THE WHOLE FUCKING RUSSIA BOY. THREE MILLIONS OF PEOPLE FOR SURE!"

Been reading through the entire thread, seen a lot of "walked into the wrong bathroom" stories, remembered I have one too. Around age 13, I was in some other city with my family because I wanted to see my brother wrestle. I eventually got up to use the bathroom, but for some reason, the bathroom doors were cluttered with newspaper clippings and pictures and loads of other stuff. I couldn't spot a Men/Women sign on the one door, so somehow I determined that the men's room must be the other door. I went in, and before I even got around the corner to the toilets and whatnot, someone whose gender I couldn't identify promptly got in my face and said a bunch of words that I couldn't fully comprehend, probably from a combination of confusion and panic. Had I been able to tell it was a girl, I would've been out of there immediately, but instead it took me a good ten seconds to realize that she was shouting at me for being in the women's restroom. What's more is as soon as I stepped out, I looked at the other bathroom door and immediately spotted the "Men" sign.

[QUOTE=c:;38643179]Been reading through the entire thread, seen a lot of "walked into the wrong bathroom" stories, remembered I have one too. Around age 13, I was in some other city with my family because I wanted to see my brother wrestle. I eventually got up to use the bathroom, but for some reason, the bathroom doors were cluttered with newspaper clippings and pictures and loads of other stuff. I couldn't spot a Men/Women sign on the one door, so somehow I determined that the men's room must be the other door. I went in, and before I even got around the corner to the toilets and whatnot, someone whose gender I couldn't identify promptly got in my face and said a bunch of words that I couldn't fully comprehend, probably from a combination of confusion and panic. Had I been able to tell it was a girl, I would've been out of there immediately, but instead it took me a good ten seconds to realize that she was shouting at me for being in the women's restroom. What's more is as soon as I stepped out, I looked at the other bathroom door and immediately spotted the "Men" sign.[/QUOTE] How was she?

So I was in Art class with my friend and he, wanting to waste time instead of actually working, decides to throw a dumb joke at me. "Would you help your uncle Jack off an elephant?" Since I was actually trying to get work done, I respond by saying "No, I would not jack off an elephant." Unfortunately I said it far too loudly and everyone in the classroom hears me say the above with absolutely no context whatsoever. The look the teacher gave me was priceless, but when I told the teacher it was him who was telling me a dirty joke, only he got in trouble. Was interesting.

you wouldn't help your uncle jack off an elephant? rude

[QUOTE=Suttles;38644985]How was she?[/QUOTE] Don't kill the joke, man

[QUOTE=c:;38645635]Don't kill the joke, man[/QUOTE] Alright, I'll stop it