Embarrassing Situations Thread V1.0 - Oh, the shame! - General

I would like to thank you all. I started reading this topic @ 2/3 AM (No sleep and bored as fuck). At the moment it's 8:22AM (Not allowed to sleep cause I have to fix my sleeping times (aka not sleep and sleep @ 11PM the next day) My gaming laptop is at repairs and I have to pick it up today, basically had nothing to do. Again, thanks. [editline]2nd December 2012[/editline] B.t.w. will post my story in a couple of hours.

[QUOTE=Swog;38673057]So here's a story. I have this friend on Steam, he's engaged to a girl. Let's call this friend on Steam "N0r" Let's start the story. So one day, N0r's girlfriend (they haven't engaged yet) friend basically accidently sent out a nude picture of herself onto the internet. So that friend moved into N0r's girlfriend's house (N0r is living there). Ever since the nude girl came, she always wanted a threesome. This night she got ahold of Nor's phone and sent me "I could hear N0r's girlfriend scream. It makes my nipples hard. Too bad they won't let me join them," and stuff like "I want N0r's [censor] and N0r's girlfriend [censor] rubbing against my body." I'm like, wtf is wrong with her.[/QUOTE] I'd put money on her having a personality disorder. (Note: Gambler's opinion, not a doctor's)

[QUOTE=Pocket Medic;38673215]to be fair, it's quite difficult to tell if you're a lass or not if anyone who didn't already know saw the name guy mannly, when about 95% of facepunch users are guys[/QUOTE] And generally most people assume anyone online is a guy until the person says otherwise. Because usually they're a guy. In RL it's just people not bothering to pay the fuck attention.

I spilled chocolate milk on my pants in elementary and everyone thought I pissed myself.

i used to always get incompetence and incontinence confused yeah that was always fun, "you're incontinent"

[QUOTE=TheGoodDoctorF;38673539]My mother told me that when I was a kid that I would bang my head on the walls. I told her that I didn't remember that. After a moment, I was all like "Oh... Right."[/QUOTE] I used to bang my head off walls too, but only because I had a really bad kidney infection. According to my mother, I tried to create more pain to drown out the pain of the infection. Turns out I stopped after bashing my head on a concrete floor, though.

I used to bang my head against walls in frustration, really petty shit, too. For instance, I used to draw a lot, but I'd get extremely pissed if I made a single mistake. Then my head would come a bangin'.

[QUOTE=The Maestro;38676327]I used to bang my head against walls in frustration, really petty shit, too. For instance, I used to draw a lot, but I'd get extremely pissed if I made a single mistake. Then my head would come a bangin'.[/QUOTE] I just end up walking into doors and shit.

To talk of head bashing, I managed to dent a wood desk with the might of my head.

[QUOTE=fantafuzz;38671779]Read this thread at a LAN party, someone came up behind me and read the words "Did you fuck her?" or something like that. Said I was looking at erotica and told everyone :suicide:[/QUOTE] That is pretty tame for a lan party, at my first lan party these dudes were looking at some ridiculous retro tranny porno and they asked my friend if he knew what bukkake was (we were about 13 years old and I knew :v:) he innocently answered that he thought it was some sort of Chinese food. So of course these dudes pull up bukkake porn and then we all laughed our asses off. For the rest of the lan those dudes were shouting "BUKKAKE" across the room while we shouted it back, and so of course for the later tournaments at that lan, and in tournaments for years after our team name was "Team Bukkake". At the same lan in the server we were all playing in on Counter Strike I kept flashbanging my team at the start of the round, and someone from across the room shouted "WHOEVER IS THROWING THOSE FLASHBANG GRENADES HAD BETTER FUCKING KNOCK IT OFF" so I sunk down into my chair and stopped playing the game :v:

[QUOTE=Swog;38673072]I have to fart so badly in gym. Guess what? I release it. [B]Unintentionally.[/B] I have no control over my body. I always fart so much when I'm at home..[/QUOTE] PE was a fucking bitch when I had diarrhea. Doing jumping jacks + trying to hold stuff in was terrible, they only let us use the bathroom once and they told us to suck it up if we wanted to go to the nurse.

Sounds like your PE teacher was an asshole.

[QUOTE=igamiwarr;38677550]That is pretty tame for a lan party, at my first lan party these dudes were looking at some ridiculous retro tranny porno and they asked my friend if he knew what bukkake was (we were about 13 years old and I knew :v:) he innocently answered that he thought it was some sort of Chinese food. So of course these dudes pull up bukkake porn and then we all laughed our asses off. For the rest of the lan those dudes were shouting "BUKKAKE" across the room while we shouted it back, and so of course for the later tournaments at that lan, and in tournaments for years after our team name was "Team Bukkake". At the same lan in the server we were all playing in on Counter Strike I kept flashbanging my team at the start of the round, and someone from across the room shouted "WHOEVER IS THROWING THOSE FLASHBANG GRENADES HAD BETTER FUCKING KNOCK IT OFF" so I sunk down into my chair and stopped playing the game :v:[/QUOTE] That reminds me of a story my friend once told me, not really embarrassing but funny. When he was at Dreamhack, I think, there was a fat guy at the table in front of him that drank filmjölk([url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filmj%C3%B6lk[/url]) and downloaded porn, the entire time, that was all he did.

I just remembered one from PE a year ago. We were playing volleyball, and i was juggling a volleyball with my feet, basically playing soccer. At one point, I took the ball and i was tryingto kick it across the gym, except i kicked it straight up into the lights. Glass shards showered around me. Everyone was like "AH YOU FUCKED UP", and it happened in front of the teacher. What was really strange is that he just came up to me, handed me a broom and said, "Don't worry bout' it".

did you fuck him

When I was in elementary school we had a special day called the "measurement Olympics" when we learned about different forms of measurement through relay races and such. I was talking to one of the scoutmasters at my cub scout meeting and he told me about his son being in the special Olympics I misunderstood and told him "had fun at the special Olympics today too". He has been a good friend to my family as far back as I can remember, luckily he has never brought it up again.

[QUOTE=titopei;38677923]PE was a fucking bitch when I had diarrhea. Doing jumping jacks + trying to hold stuff in was terrible, they only let us use the bathroom once and they told us to suck it up if we wanted to go to the nurse.[/QUOTE] You could just have used a butt plug.

[QUOTE=The Rifleman;38681662]I just remembered one from PE a year ago. We were playing volleyball, and i was juggling a volleyball with my feet, basically playing soccer. At one point, I took the ball and i was tryingto kick it across the gym, except i kicked it straight up into the lights. Glass shards showered around me. Everyone was like "AH YOU FUCKED UP", and it happened in front of the teacher. What was really strange is that he just came up to me, handed me a broom and said, "Don't worry bout' it".[/QUOTE] I was playing volleyball in gym, and I hit our teacher in the back of the head with the ball pretty damn hard. She was a bitch anyway..

So i get up at like 6 with morning wood, no big deal. i had on underwear and a shirt and was pitching a pretty sizable tent. Until i wander to the top of the stairs. Turns out my uncle was downstairs at the table, but i couldn't see him so i didn't know he was there. And there's a pause, then he says "(my name)??" so i had to awkwardly say good morning and walk to the bathroom hiding my boner and oh fuck this sounded way gayer than i thought it would and oh fcuk ohh fuccckkkkc

[QUOTE=TheGoodDoctorF;38673539]My mother told me that when I was a kid that I would bang my head on the walls. I told her that I didn't remember that. After a moment, I was all like "Oh... Right."[/QUOTE] When I was in middle school, I was helping my PE teacher clean up when I though it would be cool to put a blind fold on and try and walk down the stairs with heavy boxes. I hit the corner of the stairs so hard there wasn't a goose-egg, there was a fucking [B]crease[/B] bump in the middle of my face. [editline]3rd December 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Zakkin;38676277]I used to bang my head off walls too, but only because I had a really bad kidney infection. According to my mother, I tried to create more pain to drown out the pain of the infection. Turns out I stopped after bashing my head on a concrete floor, though.[/QUOTE] Also pain to fight pain is always effective cmon! It's just about which one is more tolerable :v:

I slipped down stairs after waking up in the middle of the night while ago, and my naked boner hooked itself on the railing and there was a loud ass 'pop', but it wasn't a penile fracture. It was just like when you crack your back.

[QUOTE=Mike42012;38686132]I slipped down stairs after waking up in the middle of the night while ago, and my naked boner hooked itself on the railing and there was a loud ass 'pop', but it wasn't a penile fracture. It was just like when you crack your back.[/QUOTE] Oh god, my penis crawled up into my stomach after reading that.

Oh god, a friend reminded me of this today: We were at school and I said something to him (or maybe I didn't even say anything) and then, while a girl was walking past us, he replied very loudly "WHAT? YOU SAID YOU WANT TO SODOMISE [girl's name]?". She was shocked and I was pretty embarrassed. [sp]No I didn't[/sp]

1) Doing laundry. Some guy decided to pick a single washer-machine right in the middle of the row, so I had to take one to the left of his, and one to the right of his because they were the only ones available. His machine only had five minutes left. I put detergent in my machine with my whites in it, moved over one machine, and put detergent in that one. I looked down and realized it wasn't my machine. On my way out, I saw the guy going to get his laundry. Oh god, oh god. 2) Over the weekend, I decided to go to a party. In general, I'm a very calm person. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I dress well every day, and I have a reputation of being very easygoing. Most of the party I just sat around, watching people pass by. One of my friends finally convinced me to dance with some girl. I manned up, asked her to dance, and she accepted. I started with my hands on her hips, but I eventually brought them up to her chest. Everything went really well, and this lasted for about an hour. I exchanged names with her afterwards, and left the party with one of my friends and his friend. When I got back to my floor, I told a few of my friends what happened and how she let me touch her breasts, talked with them for a little, and went to bed. The next day, the rumor circulated across the entire floor. They dragged me into the common-room and interrogated me for about a half-hour. One girl, who particularly likes to one-up me every chance, referenced it in front of a girl I like. I'm fairly certain she probably told her too. Awkward.

[QUOTE=Boba_Fett;38689106]1) Doing laundry. Some guy decided to pick a single washer-machine right in the middle of the row, so I had to take one to the left of his, and one to the right of his because they were the only ones available. His machine only had five minutes left. I put detergent in my machine with my whites in it, moved over one machine, and put detergent in that one. I looked down and realized it wasn't my machine. On my way out, I saw the guy going to get his laundry. Oh god, oh god. 2) Over the weekend, I decided to go to a party. In general, I'm a very calm person. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I dress well every day, and I have a reputation of being very easygoing. Most of the party I just sat around, watching people pass by. One of my friends finally convinced me to dance with some girl. I manned up, asked her to dance, and she accepted. I started with my hands on her hips, but I eventually brought them up to her chest. Everything went really well, and this lasted for about an hour. I exchanged names with her afterwards, and left the party with one of my friends and his friend. When I got back to my floor, I told a few of my friends what happened and how she let me touch her breasts, talked with them for a little, and went to bed. The next day, the rumor circulated across the entire floor. They dragged me into the common-room and interrogated me for about a half-hour. One girl, who particularly likes to one-up me every chance, referenced it in front of a girl I like. I'm fairly certain she probably told her too. Awkward.[/QUOTE] Dude, you got to feel up a girl's boobs. You're a hero and you shouldn't have any shame or remorse about that.

[QUOTE=Kabstrac;38693782]I went to a party on the weekend, I put on my girlfriend's lingerie.[/QUOTE] Did you fuck her in the lingerie?

[QUOTE=Jetpack Bear;38693876]Did you fuck her in the lingerie?[/QUOTE] no he must have went to fuck other girls in his girlfriends lingerie

Post it.

This didn't happen to me but I just remembered it. Back in middle-school, for some stupid reason sometimes I would jump over a chair as I was leaving or entering class because I thought it was "cool" One of my friends points out how stupid that is and that I'm probably going to fall on my face, then a friend walks in and asks what he's talking about, and then he decides to do a fake jump onto a chair as he's explaining except he slips off the chair and falls off. This next one happened to me in 8th grade. I was sitting in front of this girl I liked, and my friend cracked his neck. I said a bit loudly so she'd hear "That's not how you do it" - I cracked my neck, and to my surprise - my fucking neck locked. I ended up not being able to turn it to my left side for a whole WEEK. It was so embarrassing, especially since I wanted to hide it but then the fucking girl asked me something and I had to turn around, so I just turned my whole body around without twisting my head, hoping she wouldn't notice. To this day I have never cracked my neck again.

There is/was a pretty good improv group around here that my family used to see once every year. One of the times we went was for my brother's birthday. My dad had it arranged that they'd invite my brother up on stage to be part of a skit. They asked him about his day so they could make a scene out of it, but there on stage, in front of hundreds of people, he thought he was supposed to be improvising as well. "Well, I woke up and noticed I had wet myself. So I was going to take a shower, but then decided not to." He continued on for a little longer before they finally interrupted him. "Is this your real day?" "Oh. No." The audience laughed, and he laughed with them. Our parents were probably more embarrassed than he was.