The Depression Chat - Symptoms, Assistance, Medicines and More.
2,595 replies, posted
They tell me I've "changed" through my long use of Citalopram and Wellbutrin. Although I was forced to take the two after I've performed unspeakable acts.
I'm going to bed, so I might aswell write some stuff. I'm contemplating existence and don't see myself having a future. My life has gone downhill in 10 pages.
[QUOTE=xZippy;28744500]They tell me I've "changed" through my long use of Citalopram and Wellbutrin. Although I was forced to take the two after I've performed unspeakable acts.[/QUOTE]
What acts? Speak of them.
damn this thread is depressing
[QUOTE=Rusty100;28747039]damn this thread is depressing[/QUOTE]
What did you think the title was a front? :v:
[QUOTE=Rusty100;28747039]damn this thread is depressing[/QUOTE]
[img]http://www.ghostwoods.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/funny_picture_kittens_in_a_teacup.jpg[/img]
[img]http://i68.photobucket.com/albums/i23/jeff_bennion/Cracked/normal_boobs.jpg[/img]
Not any more. :v:
[QUOTE=Jookia;28743943]I pretty much hate myself as nobody else will do it for me. Maybe I enjoy being depressed because it's predictable: A constant emotion.[/QUOTE]
I think that makes sense. Sort of like how I fell bro. Lemme find my old posts in some get of your chest thread so I don't have to retype everything.
I'm new to this thread and I just really need to vent a ton of shit out.
I don't really know if I have a clinical case of depression, but very rarely can I say I've been completely happy starting about 6-ish years ago, and I've always had trouble sleeping or having an idle mentality/mindset. That's when I first started seeing the world differently, I think. I'd been going to private religious school my entire life until then, and at around the same time I first started browsing the internet. I'd been exposed to so many new ideas, different perspectives, and as a result I became a lot more analytical than I had already been. I'm a very, very analytical person, and this is probably the cause of my continuous/continual sadness/depression. No matter how I try to live, the past always ends up catching up with me, making me deal with regret, and I'm constantly worrying about the future, whether it be 10 years from now or the result of my next voluntary action. But I digress.... When that change happened in my life, I basically started anew: different school, different perspective of thought, different opinions. And this whole time I've never really been able to feel comfortable or at ease with myself. Sure, there's the puberty factor, but I don't find many others around me going through the same thing, or even remotely similar, so I'm pretty sure it's a separate process of never-ending [analysis; for the absence of a better descriptor].
On top of this, there's my (lack of) social behavior. My whole life I've only ever had maybe one or two decent friends at a time, and I've always had someone there acting as a bully or a condescending, intimidating figure. At first it was because of my closed environment by attending a school where each grade level was limited to 25 kids, but after changing schools I quickly realized that it was in fact me that was the issue. I'm a very quiet person, and I find it difficult to befriend people or create (or realize) a comfort zone. I wouldn't say I'm necessarily autistic, since I can talk to people just fine when I want to, but bridging between "acquaintance" and "friend" is the troubling part. Then when I do manage to gain friend(s), I have trouble fully connecting with them. Going to the bully thing, I can remember having been bullied even as a toddler, whether it be about my appearance, my clothing, my behavior, or being used. Because this started at a young age, I've always been extremely self-conscious about my appearance and find it difficult to distinguish between a "joking insult" or an actual means to bring my esteem down further. In fact, the main reason I decided to type this whole thing out was because of an event with my two "friends" that happened today: I had already been in a low self-esteem/high self-consciousness atmosphere and when we went to get lunch today and hang out they spent the entire time throwing "joking insults" my way. They've been doing this for almost as long as I've had them as friends, but today just wasn't the day to fuck with me, and even after I asked them to cut out the shit and grow up they went further. I don't feel like going into the details about what happened, but it resulted in my ditching them at a public area. Sure, it was a pretty dick move, but I had given them multiple warnings that I would drive off without them if they kept it up. And at this point I don't really even feel like having them as friends anymore, if all they're going to do when we hang out is bring me further down mentally. On top of all this, to this day I'm treated with disdain by others at school; although I try to ignore it in the moment, it all sticks in the long run. There are a ton of other things going on right now that add to this sadness/depression, none of which I feel comfortable delving into really.
Just needed to get that all out.... Like I said, there's a lot more going on, I just don't want to go into it, at least not here.
And that's it, I want to end it but I don't know. It's over.
The boobs didn't cheer me up. But I will contribute to the happy pictures in this thread.
[IMG]http://i128.photobucket.com/albums/p191/Orochi-San/WWE/John%20Cena/CenaBabyGoat.jpg[/IMG]
i've not felt down or blue in a good while now actually.
Nothing really changed either, kind of hard to put my finger on it.
oh well, why the fuck should i question it?
The worst part about depression is food loses its taste.
:smith:
[QUOTE=Billiam;28777384]The worst part about depression is food loses its taste.
:smith:[/QUOTE]
Not for me. In fact, I think my depression may have led, in part, to me being overweight. Eating is one of the few comforts I have. But then being overweight fuels my depression. As Fat Bastard said, it's a vicious cycle.
Good news on my side. I've.. Kinda gotten out if. I've had my last time at the psychiatrist for now. So now it's all about.. Well.. Doing stuff. My weight is getting normal. Still underweight. But I was before too. Damn. I'm getting happier now. Off medication and stuff!
[QUOTE=Freze;28782957]Good news on my side. I've.. Kinda gotten out if. I've had my last time at the psychiatrist for now. So now it's all about.. Well.. Doing stuff. My weight is getting normal. Still underweight. But I was before too. Damn. I'm getting happier now. Off medication and stuff![/QUOTE]
Man, if I could be underweight, I would be [i]so[/i] much happier.
I try to be a really nice person, to everyone, since well, I'm depressed and feel that my only value is making people feel better, happy, or just generally feel good about themselves (and as it turns out, this actually is the only thing I have valuable in life). So I go try to help a bunch of people out, and make them feel better, and I get nothing but grief from everyone. People uninvolved, people involved, and the person I'm helping even.
Pretty much all of my friends hate me, for what reason I'll never know... Things are getting worse and worse...
[QUOTE=Billiam;28777384]The worst part about depression is food loses its taste.
:smith:[/QUOTE]
I hate that too. I really like food, but it has no appeal for me if I'm depressed. Then hunger pangs and fatigue make it even worse. Then if I eat, I get nauseated and want to throw it up. I really don't have anything I indulge in to help alleviate depression, other than sleeping constantly or melting into the couch like those kids on the fucked up Above the Influence commercials.
[QUOTE=MrJazzy;28764537]And that's it, I want to end it but I don't know. It's over.[/QUOTE]
[img]http://www.deathvalleymag.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/Batman-Bitch-Slap.jpg[/img]
Get a hold of yourself!
Don't worry, he got over it.
[QUOTE=PrusseluskenV2;28790987]I have completely lost my appetite. I eat very little and when I eat it's mostly just snacks.[/QUOTE]
Opposite for me.
Food and eating makes me feel better.
[QUOTE=Tim Henson;28746986]What acts? Speak of them.[/QUOTE]
It's best that I don't. Even throwing them on an internet forum would be too much.
[QUOTE=xZippy;28796551]It's best that I don't. Even throwing them on an internet forum would be too much.[/QUOTE]
Okay. *hug*
God damnit I'm awful.
[QUOTE=xZippy;28796551]It's best that I don't. Even throwing them on an internet forum would be too much.[/QUOTE]
With confidence like that, no wonder you're depressed.
Tell us.
I'm musically talented, told by others that I'm intelligent, and also told by others that I'm fairly "handsome" to a degree. However, I fit the label of "cool loser" to a T. I've never had success with women, I consistently feel alone, and get dizzy consistently due to my underweightness and general feelings of isolation.
In addition, I'm socially awkward, and have several social disorders. I don't even like talking over mic on TF2, because I'm afraid that I won't know what to say. I've had a few good friends for the majority of my life, but I can't seem to find any more and meet new people. There are dozens of new people I'd love to talk to, but I'm too shy to approach them.
There are other details as well, but I'd rather not reveal them to an Internet discussion forum.
[QUOTE=Contag;28831313]With confidence like that, no wonder you're depressed.
Tell us.[/QUOTE]
Don't pressure him to expose the worst parts about himself to complete strangers if he doesn't want to. Whatever he's holding back from saying is probably really personal and usually you only tell personal things about yourself to people you trust completely - not strangers on an internet forum. Please respect that.
[QUOTE=Shoupie;28831769]Don't pressure him to expose the worst parts about himself to complete strangers if he doesn't want to. Whatever he's holding back from saying is probably really personal and usually you only tell personal things about yourself to people you trust completely - not strangers on an internet forum. Please respect that.[/QUOTE]
People in real life can judge him, whereas the worst thing that can happen on an internet forum can be solved by pressing the little X.
Tell us!
[QUOTE=Contag;28832394]People in real life can judge him, whereas the worst thing that can happen on an internet forum can be solved by pressing the little X.
Tell us![/QUOTE]
I don't think it's really any of our business, and we should respect it.
[QUOTE=Contag;28832394]People in real life can judge him, whereas the worst thing that can happen on an internet forum can be solved by pressing the little X.
Tell us![/QUOTE]
I'll give you a little X.
[editline]27th March 2011[/editline]
Done.
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