The Depression Chat - Symptoms, Assistance, Medicines and More.
2,595 replies, posted
[QUOTE=MrJazzy;29275679]It's probably like that in the beginning, alot of anti-depression drugs work like that, they'll make it slightly worse at first and then it's supposed to get better after a month or so.[/QUOTE]
I've taken antidepressant for over a year now and i haven't felt even the sightliest change. My mood has been going back and forth, meaning that sometimes i have a lot of energy and the day after i can be sad or even angry. Could it be a side-effect?
Apparently I've been depressed for a few years before.
Getting up from the pit is actually fairly easy. The toughest part is starting it, getting motivated.
Hard to get motivated while depressed, right? :v:
I have this constant feeling like life is rapidly approaching the end.
WARNING: LONG STORY
Well, I met this girl, and I couldn't stop thinking about her, even before we met. Eventually I began dating her, and I was happy. But then I figured out she was amazing, she got insanely good grades, advanced classes, top athlete in sports, captain of the debate team, she was amazing. She could get any guy she wanted and I felt like she never really liked me. Even though I knew she did.
I became envious, and this spiraled me into depression. Thinking about how nice her life is going to be in comparison to mine, made me sad, then it made me more sad, then it made me depressed, then it made me suicidal. I told her about my feelings. I told her every day. I hoped she could help me, I would vent what would make me depressed every day and she seemed ok with it. But eventually this got to her, and she started to not be attracted to me anymore. She dumped me, and I became suicidal.
I cry every night, I don't sleep, I don't eat. I'm not going to lead a good life, i'm never going to be loved. I'm just going to be abandoned. I think I loved her. I can't stop thinking about her, I'd give my right arm to be with her. I can't stand it without her. I begged her for another chance, but she responded with "I'm sorry but I don't like you anymore. I can't take you back." After that she doesn't talk to me anymore because I just bring her down. I feel like without her, I have no meaning anymore.
She used to be my source of relief, I would turn to her when my depression got bad, and it would help. But now that she left me, I have no where to turn. I have tried alcohol and various drugs, but I do not want to become addicted to them as a lot of the drugs are illegal. I have been thinking of suicide a lot, and am afraid I might do it.. I don't feel like a therapist would help either. I really am insane and I have no idea where to turn. I feel like if I had a girl that would love me, and that I would love back I wouldn't be depressed anymore, but after being hurt by that girl I don't know what to do. I still have REALLY strong feelings towards her and I feel like she's the only girl for me. Imaging her with another guy, marrying him and loving him.. It hurts so much, just her kissing another guy hurts.. I never felt this way about any girl before and I feel like I never will... Do I love her? Help?
[QUOTE=Sabrina;29280936]Apparently I've been depressed for a few years before.
Getting up from the pit is actually fairly easy. The toughest part is starting it, getting motivated.
Hard to get motivated while depressed, right? :v:[/QUOTE]
I find it to be easier to get motivated when you realize that you're depressed. Once you've hit the rock bottom, the only way to build yourself back up is to do shit yourself. If you're in denial about being depressed and say "dgaf" about everything, then it is a bitch to overcome.
[editline]18th April 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=Tim Henson;29283869]I have this constant feeling like life is rapidly approaching the end.[/QUOTE]
I'm starting to feel this way too, probably because I'm getting older and I can't act like the teen I used to be and I actually have to follow the law. On one hand, I can do stuff I've never been able to, but on the other it becomes a lot harder to get away with things socially.
[QUOTE=skparagon;29285532]WARNING: LONG STORY (that could be worse in length)[/QUOTE]
I realize that the following words might seem irrational, unconvincing or whatever detachment you wish to give them, but here they are: get over her.
You need to move on. Realize you are your own man, your own self. Don't build yourself to depend on a person so completely.
You need to, for lack of better words, sack up and face it. If you continue with the mindset that you were only happy with her, and that she is the only source of relief, you will continue suffering.
Trust me when I say that therapy would be a great idea. If you can find someone to just listen to your rants, even if you have to pay them, you will feel so much better.
I always come away relieved after my sessions. If you cannot afford it, friends, hell, establish a relationship with your parents, if you can.
It is not the end, and whatever you do, do not take your own life. It is a selfish act; do not do it.
[QUOTE=Chekko;29280502]I've taken antidepressant for over a year now and i haven't felt even the sightliest change. My mood has been going back and forth, meaning that sometimes i have a lot of energy and the day after i can be sad or even angry. Could it be a side-effect?[/QUOTE]
Perhaps, I'm experiencing the same thing which is why I'm quitting my medicine.
mom just forced me to take my medicine
It is because I care about you, honey.
Im sad very often, not really depressed i think.
Its just that, some days i realize i have not done anything.
Nothing has been changed in many many months, every day repeating itself, every week the same.
I can safely say there is nothing i am good at. absolutely nothing. I have never had a girlfriend, and i have not attracted anyone.
I want a girlfriend because that would be something. something diffrent to my boring life.
I guess my life isnt bad, its just boring.
I had been really depressed before, but i found a friend, that i have absolutely no mutual friends.
We had a bit of drama, but lets not get into that. I just took the weight off my heart on her. i told her everything thats pulling me down.
After that, i have felt so good and relieved. We still help eachother. If im feeling down, i tell her. If she is feeling down, she tells me.
Even though i last met her 13 years ago in preschool, she might be my best friend.
[QUOTE=Str4fe;29338623]
I had been really depressed before, but i found a friend, that i have absolutely no mutual friends.
We had a bit of drama, but lets not get into that. I just took the weight off my heart on her. i told her everything thats pulling me down.
After that, i have felt so good and relieved. We still help eachother. If im feeling down, i tell her. If she is feeling down, she tells me.
Even though i last met her 13 years ago in preschool, she might be my best friend.[/QUOTE]
I have almost the same - but 8 years since 3rd grade. And I fell in love.
It's nice to have at least one good friend to support you, but don't do same mistakes what I did, if you are feeling blue and little angry about it - don't be angry towards your friend(s). I had these situations many times where I'm 'angry' about my life or my social life and I become aggressive (with words) towards someone, and then I have to ask for forgiveness.
And have someone thought about using drugs could be prevented, if you had friends or nice relationship with someone to help you out - so you didn't need drugs. I wish I had friends or relationship. I think I wouldn't gone up to taking medicines for my mood.
After writing this, I need to go and get my medicine before I forget.
First of hello everyone.
Second, I believe I suffer from mild depression with symptoms of lack of motivation for anything, I find it very very hard to sleep even when I'm dead tired. The only thing that really excites me anymore is video games or doing really really dangerous things, One reason I have a motorcycle. I think my depression started way back in middle/elementary school when I used to take pills for adhd which had a side effect of severe depression. I stopped taking the medicine after I told my guidance counselor in fourth grade I was going home and jumping out of my 3rd story window face first because I hated myself.
I had therapy till 9th grade, while in therapy I felt none of what he was saying helped at all, nor did the medicine. Even one day in middle school I had a really bad moodswing while doing homework and just started having a horrible anxiety attack. I broke my pencil in half then started scraping/stabbing at my wrists and sobbing uncontrollably. That was the last time I ever did anything suicidal and that was eight years ago.
From 10-12th grade in high school I felt amazing and had the best time ever I wasn't depressed I stopped therapy, I just had an amazing time. I became exoverted and talked to everyone and anyone. I loved going place and being in public.
Unfortunately this ended about the same time as high school for me. I stopped being very social and reverted to my introverted ways like in middle school. I became a social shut in and just went to class, played video games and hungout with my friends every once and a while. Its been going similar to that now and I'm in my third year of college. Things have once again became dull for me, I tried joining a local sport team and enjoyed it for a while but recently have just stopped going all together, even video games have now begun to bore me.
Every night when its warm I'll just get on my motorcycle and drive for hours, going nowhere just driving. Its the only way I can get my mind off of things. In a way its a kind of self therapy where I can just talk to my innerself without anyone else around or anything to bother me. Sometimes when I'm riding I just want to keep driving and never turn around and just see where I go. It's kinda poetic in a sense but also very dark in a different sense. The fact I'd be willing to literally just leave everything I know and have behind and just keep driving.
A quick backstory here, I've honestly never had a hard life. I grew up in a decent sized town in middle class society. Like I said before my depression somewhat comes and goes. Late elementary school it started, high school it stopped, college it started again. I have a close family thats always there but I just feel very distant from everyone. Like I'm an alien speaking a different language.
Now to around this time of year. I've been getting a little better and I have my weeks where i'm good. I've been trying to find a girl considering it has been about a year or so since my last girlfriend. But I do worry if I cant even keep up with myself how the hell I'm suppost to with a girl. I've already planned out a list of things I wish to do this summer including Kayaking and mountain biking almost every day that I have off of work. But I've come to the realization that I probably won't due to lack of effort and will. I also want to resign up with my old gym and start going regularly. Hopefully I can fix this again and do better, but i'm not all that sure I can.
Thanks for hearing my story.
I don't really know where to begin, so I'll just do really short summaries and make this really quick (also because I'm lazy). I'll start by saying that I consider myself a failure for my past and possible future. I don't see myself going anywhere productive from here on in and into the future.
I was always never a social person. I'm always someone who would keep quite and stay away from everyone. I wouldn't intend to actively make friends or talk people without a good reason to do so. When I was at school I was always a very easy target for bullying, mostly because I think I tend to just keep quite.
Now I'll start by say that when I was 15, I dropped out of school before I could take the majority of my GCSE's. I couldn't manage a 9-5 5 days a week anymore. I distanced myself away from everyone, I eventually became incredibly paranoid. I thought that people around me didn't have any thoughts or a motive to help me, and instead were interested in harming me in some form or way. I became delusional and starting believing in things that never made sense. I felt that I had to be careful with what I was thinking when I was around people, I feared they could've read my mind while being secret about it. I was strongly suicidal and I would sometimes cry myself to sleep because of it. I would usually always have vivid thoughts of harming other people, friends or family within my current situation at the time of the thought, I would even be scared and just leave the room I'm in just in case I even acted upon them. My sleep pattern was running amok, being completely random. Sometimes I wouldn't even need sleep and instead would just be awake for days on end, sometimes only needing as little as 2 hours of sleep just to repeat the cycle. I lacked motivation to do anything since I felt I was going nowhere with my life. There was so much with what became a problem for me I can't even list it all.
No one could understand me and everyone thought I was just trying to be a pathetic little rebellious teenager.
Over the course of 4 years I slowly recovered to what I am today. Sure I still do have the occasional thoughts of suicide, and the occasional on-the-spot impulses for it (standing nearby incoming cars/trains hello?), but it never felt as bad as it was many years ago. My sleep pattern still runs random and disturbed, but I don't stay awake for days on end as much as I used to. I still have thoughts of harming people, but it's not as vivid or frequent as it was. I still have trouble maintaining a 9-5 everyday.
In fact I still have everything, the majority of it is just not as severe as it was anymore in the past.
I felt like I missed out on a lot, and I will continue to do so because I felt I couldn't just give a damn for it. During this time I felt I hadn't achieved much from my education besides from a couple of basic qualifications.
I learnt from experience though that there are people who can help me, and that I'm not completely hopeless as I had originally thought. Overtime I took this as part of who I am and wondered if I even really do need help, instead of it just being something that's completely normal of me and I'm learned to deal with and get over it eventually. It just was never easy to begin with.
When I got mugged by 3 guys nearly 2 months ago I just recently decided to go see a psychiatrist considering the event still left a subconscious impact on my daily life. During this time it occurred to me that I should probably describe what I've always experienced. I've done that now and so far I'm now on a prescription of mirtazapine.
I'm sorry if this is a bit short and I've barely said anything nor had a laid this out properly, but there's just too much to say and I'm just lazy with it. Thanks for taking the time to read it though.
I don't think I can keep living how I'm living for very much longer.
I invest all of my self-worth in academics and anything less than an A is not good enough. I'm a fucking Melvin. I've isolated myself from others to the point that I'm not really sure how to act with people. I'm almost always sick because I won't let myself recover from anything. I've been sick with a simple cough that's only getting worse for about two weeks now because I get usually no more than 4 hours or so of sleep a night. I keep myself up and alert all week by never letting myself sit still, and then on the weekends I crash, both emotionally and physically. I run most days even though my lungs are fucked up right now, which is probably contributing to not getting better, but it's stress relief, and I put a lot of my self-worth in being fit, too. It relaxes me. But sometimes I don't have the energy to run those three short miles when I get home from school.
I've got straight A's and perfect attendance this year. I have a speech class required to graduate. I am in constant panic mode days prior to a speech because I have a pretty severe phobia with public speaking. The anxiety is usually intensified by the fact that I get very little sleep and I have a fairly large course load.
I'm easily agitated. If there's a sudden loud sound, for example, I don't just get startled like regular people. It'll push me into a panic attack if I don't have Xanax on hand, which I've been taking much more often than I'd like to. It's not normally this bad, but even something like somebody dropping their text book on their desk loudly freaks me the fuck out.
I'm depressed, but I don't think it's chronic. I'm already on a dosage of Zoloft that usually keeps my moods pretty stabilized, but the added stress is more than I can handle. I probably need a bigger dosage, but I refuse to take more as it's used to treat my OCD, and I'm afraid I wouldn't be as conscientious about my school work, and as pathetic as it sounds, that's pretty much the center of my life. I want to get good grades, get into a good school, and study medicine or sociology - haven't decided which yet. I worry that I'm not smart enough for the former.
Unsurprisingly, I don't have much room for a social life. That doesn't bother me too much, normally. But everyone gets lonely sometimes. I'm one of those people that want to be with friends when I'm alone, yet I can't think of anything other than wanting to be alone when I actually get with friends. It drives me crazy. I have plans to go out tomorrow, but I'm sick and exhausted. I'd feel bad about canceling. The guy seemed really excited when I said yes, even though I wasn't really too sure what I was agreeing to, but whatever. But he probably won't call. It could've just been a joke. It probably was. But I don't really have the time or emotional capacity to be dating anyway, so that doesn't really bother me.
I'm on spring break right now. I have to recite a monologue in speech class in two weeks, and I'm already panicked about it. Any tips on how to manage my ever-so-common public speaking problem would be more than welcome.
I don't really know what I hoped in gaining by posting this. If nothing else, it's cathartic. I hope the rest of you guys get to feeling better.
when i get depressed i start writing deep and sometimes awkwardly funny crap about what i feel to the point i even write songs and shit like that, and afterwards i feel better.
is that normal dr facepunch?
Whatever coping mechanism works for you.
Everything is normal or everything is abnormal in my opinion.
[QUOTE=Shoupie;29364490]I don't think I can keep living how I'm living for very much longer.
I invest all of my self-worth in academics and anything less than an A is not good enough. I'm a fucking Melvin. I've isolated myself from others to the point that I'm not really sure how to act with people. I'm almost always sick because I won't let myself recover from anything. I've been sick with a simple cough that's only getting worse for about two weeks now because I get usually no more than 4 hours or so of sleep a night. I keep myself up and alert all week by never letting myself sit still, and then on the weekends I crash, both emotionally and physically. I run most days even though my lungs are fucked up right now, which is probably contributing to not getting better, but it's stress relief, and I put a lot of my self-worth in being fit, too. It relaxes me. But sometimes I don't have the energy to run those three short miles when I get home from school.
I've got straight A's and perfect attendance this year. I have a speech class required to graduate. I am in constant panic mode days prior to a speech because I have a pretty severe phobia with public speaking. The anxiety is usually intensified by the fact that I get very little sleep and I have a fairly large course load.
I'm easily agitated. If there's a sudden loud sound, for example, I don't just get startled like regular people. It'll push me into a panic attack if I don't have Xanax on hand, which I've been taking much more often than I'd like to. It's not normally this bad, but even something like somebody dropping their text book on their desk loudly freaks me the fuck out.
I'm depressed, but I don't think it's chronic. I'm already on a dosage of Zoloft that usually keeps my moods pretty stabilized, but the added stress is more than I can handle. I probably need a bigger dosage, but I refuse to take more as it's used to treat my OCD, and I'm afraid I wouldn't be as conscientious about my school work, and as pathetic as it sounds, that's pretty much the center of my life. I want to get good grades, get into a good school, and study medicine or sociology - haven't decided which yet. I worry that I'm not smart enough for the former.
Unsurprisingly, I don't have much room for a social life. That doesn't bother me too much, normally. But everyone gets lonely sometimes. I'm one of those people that want to be with friends when I'm alone, yet I can't think of anything other than wanting to be alone when I actually get with friends. It drives me crazy. I have plans to go out tomorrow, but I'm sick and exhausted. I'd feel bad about canceling. The guy seemed really excited when I said yes, even though I wasn't really too sure what I was agreeing to, but whatever. But he probably won't call. It could've just been a joke. It probably was. But I don't really have the time or emotional capacity to be dating anyway, so that doesn't really bother me.
I'm on spring break right now. I have to recite a monologue in speech class in two weeks, and I'm already panicked about it. Any tips on how to manage my ever-so-common public speaking problem would be more than welcome.
I don't really know what I hoped in gaining by posting this. If nothing else, it's cathartic. I hope the rest of you guys get to feeling better.[/QUOTE]
I always suggest to people, when speaking, just do not think about it.
I passed my speech class with minimal research and preparation on a topic.
I mainly just went up, said whatever came to mind and left.
A lot of giving the speech, you have to focus on something else. Such as delivery.
Worry about the enunciation rather than the public speaking. Enunciating is far less intimidating than people.
In the same way Maverick suggests asking someone out, just do it. Or how Nike says, whichever you prefer.
[QUOTE=Ryuken;29364601]when i get depressed i start writing deep and sometimes awkwardly funny crap about what i feel to the point i even write songs and shit like that, and afterwards i feel better.
is that normal dr facepunch?[/QUOTE]
Normal is relative. Just be glad that you're able to channel your depression into creativity. I think that's been the case with most great artists.
[editline]22nd April 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=Phsykotik;29364623]I always suggest to people, when speaking, just do not think about it.
I passed my speech class with minimal research and preparation on a topic.
I mainly just went up, said whatever came to mind and left.
A lot of giving the speech, you have to focus on something else. Such as delivery.
Worry about the enunciation rather than the public speaking. Enunciating is far less intimidating than people.
In the same way Maverick suggests asking someone out, just do it. Or how Nike says, whichever you prefer.[/QUOTE]
Public speaking isn't something I'm comfortable with doing, so it doesn't come naturally. I have to think about it. Everything has to be meticulously planned and thought out. I'm graded on what I'm wearing, my gestures, how loud I am, my tone, my eye contact with the entire class, and the format. I have a really detail-oriented teacher. I can't just speak from the heart. Everything has to be done correctly.
Oh wow, that is unbearable.
fucking love public speaking.
how to overcome any fear? turn that shit into comedy.
if you're presenting something that obviously sucks balls, make a small joke on it "and here you guys can hear my wonderful thesis on how you should wipe your ass after you shit"
also chances are you know the people in your class, and most the time you know their little dirty secrets/other shit. so you can go up there and smirk. cause really, who gives a shit about speeches? half the time people are a sleep..
I constantly get told after i give a speech that they really enjoyed it or something.
Oh and if you're an American, and are giving a speech, YOU MUST tie in the founding principles of America into the speech if you want that yummy, delicious A.
Its the "america fuck yeah" fallacy.
works great as fuck in high school.
[QUOTE=ScoutKing;29364799]fucking love public speaking.
how to overcome any fear? turn that shit into comedy.
if you're presenting something that obviously sucks balls, make a small joke on it "and here you guys can hear my wonderful thesis on how you should wipe your ass after you shit"
also chances are you know the people in your class, and most the time you know their little dirty secrets/other shit. so you can go up there and smirk. cause really, who gives a shit about speeches? half the time people are a sleep..
I constantly get told after i give a speech that they really enjoyed it or something.
Oh and if you're an American, and are giving a speech, YOU MUST tie in the founding principles of America into the speech if you want that yummy, delicious A.
Its the "america fuck yeah" fallacy.
works great as fuck in high school.[/QUOTE]
Patriotism would normally work, but my teacher hates that. He's young and really progressive-minded and he likes controversy.
I've thought about doing comedy, but I'm worried that I'd be too nervous to pull it off well. The monologue might be a good opportunity for that, though.
Excellent thesis, by the way. :3:
[QUOTE=Shoupie;29365015]
I've thought about doing comedy, but [B]I'm worried[/B] that I'd be too nervous to pull it off well. The
[/QUOTE]
you're issue is simply confidence then.
don't worry about it how you will do, fuck that shit.
I rely too much on the little things in life, but they seem to give me the biggest happy-highs :v:
Wednesday I was ready to commit suicide, Thursday comes around nah, fuck that shit. I went to therapy, got all the stuff I needed covered, and things just went nicely from there. Now I feel great.
ProTip: Rely on the little things to be happy, don't let the little things piss you off though. Also, therapy helps :v:
Oh, and music with a positive tune never killed anybody, but it's a great idea to ease into it.
[QUOTE=Binladen34;29365183]I rely too much on the little things in life, but they seem to give me the biggest happy-highs :v:
Wednesday I was ready to commit suicide, Thursday comes around nah, fuck that shit. I went to therapy, got all the stuff I needed covered, and things just went nicely from there. Now I feel great.
ProTip: Rely on the little things to be happy, don't let the little things piss you off though. Also, therapy helps :v:[/QUOTE]
sounds a little bit like me. but I actually have things happen to cause that mental change.
but if you suddenly feel suicidal and then the next day you go "NAH"
then you seriously need to get checked for bi-polar.
[QUOTE=ScoutKing;29365209]sounds a little bit like me. but I actually have things happen to cause that mental change.
but if you suddenly feel suicidal and then the next day you go "NAH"
then you seriously need to get checked for bi-polar.[/QUOTE]
A lot of people say I might be bi-polar -\:v:/-
I know I'm really messed up though.
[QUOTE=Binladen34;29365235]A lot of people say I might be bi-polar -\:v:/-
I know I'm really messed up though.[/QUOTE]
ugh... you're one of those people who take pride about being completely fucked aren't you?
[QUOTE=ScoutKing;29365296]ugh... you're one of those people who take pride about being completely fucked aren't you?[/QUOTE]
Maybe, not sure. Just in a good mood, fake or not, I like it :v:
[QUOTE=Binladen34;29365371]Maybe, not sure. Just in a good mood, fake or not, I like it :v:[/QUOTE]
god i hate people like you.
people who are crazy like you put weight on everyone's shoulder cause they have to deal and put up with it. and in return you are proud of it.
[QUOTE=ScoutKing;29365434]god i hate people like you.
people who are crazy like you put weight on everyone's shoulder cause they have to deal and put up with it. and in return you are proud of it.[/QUOTE]
I wouldn't say I'm proud of it. I'm actually deeply disturbed by hurting my friends with my depression. I lost quite a few friends because of it, and if I could I'd go back and shoot myself for it. But I can't.
[QUOTE=Binladen34;29365463]I wouldn't say I'm proud of it. I'm actually deeply disturbed by hurting my friends with my depression. I lost quite a few friends because of it, and if I could I'd go back and shoot myself for it. But I can't.[/QUOTE]
but at the same time you are proud of it as indicated by earlier posts?
seriously man, get checked for bi-polar.
There are meds/therapy for it.
ignoring it and going between the state of being happy and cripplingly sad isn't going to do slack shit.
The one thing I am proud of though, is the fact that I have GID, because now that I'm diagnosed with it, I'll be able to live out one of my longest lasting dreams.
[editline]22nd April 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=ScoutKing;29365487]but at the same time you are proud of it as indicated by earlier posts?
seriously man, get checked for bi-polar.
There are meds/therapy for it.
ignoring it and going between the state of being happy and cripplingly sad isn't going to do slack shit.[/QUOTE]
I'll talk to my therapist about it on Wednesday. Thanks for pointing it out though. I need people to point out my problems for me, I can't seem to properly see them myself. Not all of them anyway.
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.