The Depression Chat - Symptoms, Assistance, Medicines and More.
2,595 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Pedro the Fuzzy;29931252]I'm sorry mate, haven't been checking up on this thread so much, but what could asking help from your parents possibly do to hurt them? You sound like the one who's hurt. Go for it.[/QUOTE]
Your son wanting to kill himself for almost half his life is not exactly what parents want to hear.
[QUOTE=Tim Henson;29932038]Your son wanting to kill himself for almost half his life is not exactly what parents want to hear.[/QUOTE]
They would rather hear you say that then have you actually kill yourself. Just tell them how you feel and say you need their help.
Today's the anniversary of my grandpa's suicide. I wasn't really that close to him but I can't help but feel what my family is feeling about the mess he left behind - both metaphorical and literal.
I'm really angry and sad and I don't know why. I feel alone. There were a lot of people interested in getting to know me this school year, but I never seized the opportunity because I'm too shy. Too afraid of rejection, so I just don't put myself out there. I don't like the "friends" I do have. One of them is a complete fucking pervert who feels me up just about every time I get in his car. Yet whenever he asks if I want a ride I say yes because I'm afraid of hurting his feelings. I know that's fucking ridiculous. I told him I have a really big personal bubble and I get uncomfortable. He'll stop for a few days and then start up again until I say something. It's my own fault for being a pussy though.
I think I may have just lost one of my only friends over politics. Fucking politics. She's an orthodox Jew and she blindly supports everything Israel does. I was already in a pissy mood anyway, and she kept sending me links to doctored Fox News videos of Obama acting like he's planning on annihilating Israel. I told her not to worry because Obama isn't that retarded and Fox is not a legitimate news source. Then we got into an argument and I said I'm worried about how militaristic Israel is, so she got offended and just signed off. Last time this happened she told me she went home and cried after school because of the realization that her best friend, me, is antisemitic. Cool.
Do I just not verbalize my thoughts very well? Why the fuck are people always misunderstanding me?
As I was driving home with my dad today, I sort of went off because I was frustrated. I was almost crying and I needed someone to listen. But he just laughed the entire time. When I asked him why, he just said, "You're so cute." That's not what I wanted to hear. I don't need a goddamn cheerleader. I need someone to listen. I don't think anybody takes me seriously except for my mom or my brother, but I'm glad I have them to talk to. My dad is okay sometimes. Just not today, I guess.
Sorry about the rant. I just needed to get this out somewhere where I knew it wouldn't be hurting anybody's feelings.
[QUOTE=PrusseluskenV2;29937444]I'm very much like that myself. I'm afraid of ruining his/her/their first impression, and of such, I sometimes don't even bother to try. I guess you're don't give a shit but I'm starting secondary school this fall, and I'm scared. I'm really scared of being even more friend-less than I already am. It's such a horrible, horrible feeling. Even my family has a pretty borked image of me and I hate meeting relatives because of that. You're not alone about this, and please don't think you're a fool.[/QUOTE]
I hope you meet someone you feel like you can connect with this fall. I know how it is. I feel like I live in a completely separate world from everyone else sometimes and it's not even worth pursuing anything with anybody. I wish I had something useful to say, but I've got the same problem you do.
[QUOTE="PrusseluskenV2"]Getting that worked up over cold facts is a bit childish, and if she actually believes the US are going to invade Israel she's actually a bit daft. However it's most certainly not antisemitism on your part.[/QUOTE]
I know she's daft, but that doesn't change the fact that I've hurt her. I've explained to her that I separate politics and religion into two distinct categories, but she just doesn't get it. But knowing that she's probably really upset right now makes me feel really shitty. I hate that I have to blindly agree with everything she says to keep her happy.
[QUOTE="PrusseluskenV2"]My dad's a bit like that. My mum too. They both act like arses whenever I need them the most. Even my school's counsellor and principal are both ignorant egomaniacs that don't give a single damn about whatever people that need them. The only people I talk out about my problems to are people on the internet. It's sad, but I find that it helps more than psychologists and social services-ladies with absolutely no grasp of common sense.[/QUOTE]
I'm sorry to hear that. It's not sad that you feel like you get more help from going to the internet. What's sad is that the people that should care for you most don't understand the first thing about what you're going through, and that's probably one of the worst parts of it.
Anyway, thank you. It's good to know that there are people out there that can relate. I hope you get some sleep soon.
[QUOTE=Shoupie;29937828]I hope you meet someone you feel like you can connect with this fall. I know how it is. I feel like I live in a completely separate world from everyone else sometimes and it's not even worth pursuing anything with anybody. I wish I had something useful to say, but I've got the same problem you do.[/QUOTE]
I know you're afraid of hurting peoples' feelings, but you have to be honest about how you feel. It may seem like it's going to hurt someone, but it's better for everyone in the end. When you hide how you really feel, it only ends up shitting on everyone. You've got to be genuine. Be yourself, because who you are is an awesome person. People will like you for who you are, perhaps not now in the immaturity of high school, but I can assure you that you will eventually find good friends if you are persistent and true to yourself.
[QUOTE=Shoupie;29937828]I know she's daft, but that doesn't change the fact that I've hurt her. I've explained to her that I separate politics and religion into two distinct categories, but she just doesn't get it. But knowing that she's probably really upset right now makes me feel really shitty. I hate that I have to blindly agree with everything she says to keep her happy.[/QUOTE]
You can't be responsible for keeping everyone around you happy. If you try to be, it's only going to end up destroying you. It's impossible to do. If she gets all worked up over something stupid, that's her fault. It's easy for anybody to see that you didn't do anything wrong. It'd be different if you insulted her or something, or intentionally hurt her feelings, but you did nothing other than give your honest opinion, and you can't be faulted for that. If she's so closed-minded that she can't accept any views other than her own, she doesn't deserve a friend as good as you.
[QUOTE=Shoupie;29937828]I hope you meet someone you feel like you can connect with this fall. I know how it is. I feel like I live in a completely separate world from everyone else sometimes and it's not even worth pursuing anything with anybody. I wish I had something useful to say, but I've got the same problem you do.
[/quote]
Wow, it's funny because I've always heard that "I'm not the only one going through it" or whatever, but it's one of those things I just brushed off. In some strange way it actually helps me feel less alone. For the long term, I'm banking a lot on college and getting a fresh start. I've noticed that being in a "small pond" can make it really hard to find good friends. You'll find people worth pursuing. In the mean time, you've always got me and everyone else in this thread.
[QUOTE=PrusseluskenV2;29933991]I just had a dumb bitch (tip: she's pro-life) tell me depression is just me being a lazy fuck. wow[/QUOTE]
That's disgusting. There is so much ignorance out there about mental disorders.
You shouldn't be friends with anyone who's pro-life (aka anti-woman)
Thanks so much, you guys. This thread has helped me a lot. I hope every one of you can find relief from your depression soon, because you're all genuinely nice people, really selfless, from what I've seen, and you deserve it. I wish I knew people like you IRL. I'm really grateful to all of you. When I see complete strangers trying to help each other out here, it's hard to be cynical.
Sorry to be so cheesy. I just wanted to say that what you're doing is really appreciated and you probably have no idea how significant of an impact you have. Just needed to let you know that.
It has been a while since I posted here. I would like to say that for the most part I have been improving dramatically in the area of my psychological difficulties, mostly due to constantly experimenting with medications and researching the possible problems that I might have. It ultimately turned out that I had to solve a noticeable case of obsessive compulsive disorder, as well as increase my dosage of straterra, which is responsible for assisting with ADD.
So far I am feeling noticeably more energetic. My sleeping schedule went back to normal and so far appears to be staying that way. I am getting endlessly more things done and can finally make plans on what to complete, and actually complete it, without becoming stuck in a hostile mixture of ADD and OCD.
It seems that for the most part my greatest problem has been a collection of chemical imbalances all this time, which ultimately does make perfect sense. I am assuming that it existed either from my birth, or approximately from the time span in which I hit puberty, which caused my body to perform major chemical and hormonal changes.
I am assuming that it ultimately existed from birth, considering some of my earlier experiences with school and with life in general as a child.
My grandma is in her mid 70s and is obese and has emphysema. She is sweet, but sits around all day in her chair and comfort eats. She helped my dad (her son) raise me like a second mom until my dad passed away in 2007. If I lose her, which I feel I will soon, I lose everything, well, I don't but it feels that way. I love my family and they are great, but that feeling your parents give off can never be replicated.
[QUOTE=PrusseluskenV2;29933991]I just had a dumb bitch (tip: she's pro-life) tell me depression is just me being a lazy fuck. wow[/QUOTE]
These types of claims annoy the absolute bejesus out of me.
Another thing, there is still one more chemical imbalance that I might solve after going to the doctor relatively soon and discussing a certain chemical balance with him. I am basically looking for possibly increasing my dopamine levels.
And one more thing: if any of you have any questions about my experiences, feel free to ask them. I am saying that to help you diagnose the possible existence of similar problems more then anything. A lot of these destructive psychological bastards can often be more difficult to pinpoint then one may expect at first.
So far my medications list is:
Straterra
Clomipramine
Lexapro
Zolpidem (before sleeping to help me relax)
its weird to think depression is caused by chemical imbalances. Even if the imbalance is caused by stress in your life. It just kind of makes me think that, "that person is broken" or "I am broken"
oh god,why did I shave my stomach hair.
Now my stomach looks like just a big blob of fat
[QUOTE=ScoutKing;29955138]its weird to think depression is caused by chemical imbalances. Even if the imbalance is caused by stress in your life. It just kind of makes me think that, "that person is broken" or "I am broken"[/QUOTE]
For the most part it usually appears to have two possible sources (with the possibility of being both) logical and chemical, and frankly it is pretty arguable whether it is even appropriate to draw a defined line between those two.
[editline]21st May 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=PrusseluskenV2;29955183]It's funky. It's still just plain irritating how people think it's being lazy/sad/not willing to do anything.[/QUOTE]
Laziness is an extremely annoying term even when it is being used supposedly "appropriately".
[QUOTE=PrusseluskenV2;29955350]I've noticed that I actually find singing a bit relieving. I might suck, but hey, I kill some time and it makes me feel better for a while.[/QUOTE]
Absolutely anything is a good idea relief wise, as long as it works. I also hate when people confuse necessary leisure/relief with time wasting. I am literally talking about something such as lying down for a few minutes, or meditating for some time, or using various other methods of refreshment.
[QUOTE=Shoupie;29937031]Today's the anniversary of my grandpa's suicide. I wasn't really that close to him but I can't help but feel what my family is feeling about the mess he left behind - both metaphorical and literal.[/QUOTE]
I'm sorry for your loss. I know how you feel.
this is gonna sound cliche, but I'm sure your grandpa is at peace now and no longer suffering
[QUOTE=JDK721;29956130]I'm sorry for your loss. I know how you feel.
this is gonna sound cliche, but I'm sure your grandpa is at peace now and no longer suffering[/QUOTE]
Thank you. He was a tortured man. He'd only recently begun to tell us about what he went through in the war and he'd come to realize that most of his prejudices were based on lies he'd been told, so that bothered him a lot. I'm glad he's not suffering anymore. That's why it was kind of bittersweet when he died.
If you've ever had bouts of depression before, by God do not take Accutane. While I was on it I became incredibly depressed over silly trivial things. The medicine itself didn't make me depressed but things/people I usually wouldn't care about would suddenly become the worst thing in my world and left me bed ridden for weeks on end.
[QUOTE=Dr. Evilcop;29970499]If you've ever had bouts of depression before, by God do not take Accutane. While I was on it I became incredibly depressed over silly trivial things. The medicine itself didn't make me depressed but things/people I usually wouldn't care about would suddenly become the worst thing in my world and left me bed ridden for weeks on end.[/QUOTE]
It also gives you crohn's disease.
[QUOTE=PrusseluskenV2;30003787]Anyone else find food (and drinks/candy/what ever consumable shit you find) getting increasingly bland? I don't feel hungry at all anymore.[/QUOTE]
Definitely. School lunches are getting bland to the point of making me sick, and when left to prepare something for myself at home, it's usually something lazy like a peanut butter sandwich, if I even bother.
Why are all of you sad, be happy.
Happiness is but a rope knot and chair kick away!
[QUOTE=PrusseluskenV2;30003961]You're an idiot[/QUOTE]
Says thee posting regularly in a thread for sad people.
[QUOTE=RainbowDash;30004073]Says thee posting regularly in a thread for sad people.[/QUOTE]
Depression and sadness are different you idiot.
[QUOTE=Super_Nova;30004107]Depression and sadness are different you idiot.[/QUOTE]
I am sorry did I make you sad?
[QUOTE=RainbowDash;30004147]I am sorry did I make you sad?[/QUOTE]
[img]http://i40.tinypic.com/1zlyy2u.gif[/img]
Please don't feed the trolls, they're fat enough as it is.
I hope everyone in this thread get over their depression, cause this is all terrible and you all seem like pretty cool people.
I wish you all the best of luck, I was actually depressed in high school too... but nothing too worthy for a proper detailed post.
Does anyone here have Bipolar Disorder?
I do.
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