• The Depression Chat - Symptoms, Assistance, Medicines and More.
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[QUOTE=soapyy;31263657]They had promised me that they loved me. They lied to me. I still think about these two times. I am 15 now and it still makes me sad. Marriage is failing now a' days.[/QUOTE] A divorce doesn't mean that they didn't/don't love you.
I'm not depressed, I just need someone to talk to right now. I feel so fucking alone, fuck I feel like a bitch writing this. I haven't been here in a while and can't remember how I used to deal with it.
[QUOTE=Dark_Light;31290414]I'm not depressed, I just need someone to talk to right now. I feel so fucking alone, fuck I feel like a bitch writing this. I haven't been here in a while and can't remember how I used to deal with it.[/QUOTE] Everyone has been there, so don't sweat it.. Just find a hobby, or try to do something productive.
What anti depressants are easiest to get?
[QUOTE=carcarcargo;31294904]What anti depressants are easiest to get?[/QUOTE] Why, they're really weak drugs, all of em.
[QUOTE=ScoutKing;31294303]Everyone has been there, so don't sweat it.. Just find a hobby, or try to do something productive.[/QUOTE] What do you do if you feel that you can't do anything like that because of being sad?
[QUOTE=Dark_Light;31290414]I'm not depressed, I just need someone to talk to right now. I feel so fucking alone, fuck I feel like a bitch writing this. I haven't been here in a while and can't remember how I used to deal with it.[/QUOTE] I'm sorry. What's wrong?
[QUOTE=JohanGS;31296562]What do you do if you feel that you can't do anything like that because of being sad?[/QUOTE] Find inspiration/support/motivation. But Dark_light said he wasn't depressed, just that he felt alone. So finding a hobby for himself would be quite in his reach.
Ahhh it was just stupid shit involving my ex that left me feeling much more lonely than I should have felt. I also needed sleep, and so I'm feeling much better now. Just needed somewhere to vent at the time.
with that mess in Oslo that just happened i feel pretty shitty right now. I can relate to what Woody Allen said; "As long as there's someone starving in the world I'm going to be miserable." or something like that. I guess I should be glad that I'm in a pretty lucky spot relatively but really I try and I'm not feeling very good about myself.
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A few years back i had my first seizure, my life changed quite a bit from that. After constant doctors visits and getting my blood drawn constantly to check how much of my meds i had going through me, which would constantly make me too dizzy to stand, i realized that there has to be something more to life. I started volunteering with an ems group, and that was going great, had a few girlfriends, and eventually found my first love who left me for some other prick. And believe me giving your heart to someone is nothing easy, and it makes it no more easy to handle when they lead you on and it seems you will get back together, but she decides that she needs space and pushes you away and leaves you alone. Even to this day i wake up and hope that i will get even the simplest of messages from her, and every day i go to bed dissapointed. After a few I managed to get past epilepsy and am seizure free. Then i had my first real patient, he was around 8. Do any of you know what it's like to hold a kid's spine in place after he has broken his neck? Having his tears cover your hands, and being so in the zone with your adrenaline pumping that you barely notice the 100+ people watching you. It's terrifying. Immediately after i got him on a backboard and into an ambulance, i walked over to a trashcan and threw up. Then i witnessed an attempted murder in my own home. My neighbor tried to kill his wife, and she managed to escape after being injured and make her way over to my house and they broke through the door at about 3am. He held her on the ground right in front of my room and continued to choke her, luckily my dad came out and rescued her, I had just fallen asleep and was too dozed off to realize that what i was hearing was coming a few feet away from me, and not through a TV in the front room. The screams, and seeing the bloody aftermath does some things to you. I also had the luxury of finding out that when the cops and paramedics leave, they leave the mess with you. It probably took a good hour to clean up all the blood. I didn't sleep right for months, i still cant sleep. Everything she said is embedded in my brain, i can still hear all the pain in her voice. It pains me even more to think that if i would have gotten up, that maybe something would be different. Maybe if i was a few minutes earlier in getting up she could still have full function of her body. And that's the guilt i have to live with. Even just a month ago i saw a guy get hit by a car while crossing the road. I stopped to help him, and got his blood all over my hands. Seeing all that blood again reopened the old scars that i had been able to close up for the most part. My therapist tells me that i have generalized anxiety and chronic depression, and i'm supposed to be starting on meds again for the second time in my life. I can't sleep, i can hardly eat. Some days i just lie in bed and wonder if there is something good to look forward to, and i decide there isn't, so i sleep the day away. Every day i spend in the comfort of my apartment, except when my redundant job is ahead of me. I stay inside and play my games, so for a few moments i can be enveloped in the story and the atmosphere of any video game, because i don't want to face what may come in the real world. I hate the way my life has started, i'm only 18 and this is what has come up for me. It makes me think that if this is what all has happened in only a few years, who's to say that the next twenty years will be any better. But this is the life i have, there's no "ifs ands or buts", and i sure as hell am glad that i still have a life. Well this is my story although missing a few parts. It's 7am and i can't fall asleep again, so i figured i could try and get this off of my chest. Sorry about the wall of text, and i'm not entirely sure that this is the right thread for this to be posted in.
I'm in a bit of a rut here. All of my friends on steam have basically disowned me. I'm unschooled so I don't have much in the way of real friends except for maybe a friendly neighborhood tree stump. I've given up on my two incredibly boring hobbies (Drawing, Writing) because I realized a mentally stunted five year old could do better. Never ever have anybody to talk to. Gets a little unbearable at times, but I guess I can deal with it because it's probably not going to change anytime soon. Find myself constantly slumped in my chair with my mind in other places, like I'm totally disconnected from everything around me. At this point I don't care if I just die in my sleep. It probably won't be any different then it is now. Parents are relatively oblivious to my feelings and take everything I say as a joke, even when I talk about suicide. They don't believe in therapy, neither can they afford it because my dad quit his job to work on some game that will probably never get off the ground. I'm not very happy about the situation at hand here, no sirree. :pwn:
[QUOTE=applebeef;31308363]I'm in a bit of a rut here. All of my friends on steam have basically disowned me. I'm unschooled so I don't have much in the way of real friends except for maybe a friendly neighborhood tree stump. I've given up on my two incredibly boring hobbies (Drawing, Writing) because I realized a mentally stunted five year old could do better. Never ever have anybody to talk to. Gets a little unbearable at times, but I guess I can deal with it because it's probably not going to change anytime soon. Find myself constantly slumped in my chair with my mind in other places, like I'm totally disconnected from everything around me. At this point I don't care if I just die in my sleep. It probably won't be any different then it is now. Parents are relatively oblivious to my feelings and take everything I say as a joke, even when I talk about suicide. They don't believe in therapy, neither can they afford it because my dad quit his job to work on some game that will probably never get off the ground. I'm not very happy about the situation at hand here, no sirree. :pwn:[/QUOTE]Exercise, even just a little running or lifting weights can make you feel better about yourself and also release endorphins. And how are you unschooled, did you drop out? I'm a bit confused
[QUOTE=Octave;31308404]Exercise, even just a little running or lifting weights can make you feel better about yourself and also release endorphins. And how are you unschooled, did you drop out? I'm a bit confused[/QUOTE] Yeah. My old school shut down, and honestly? I just don't want to bother with that shit anymore. Too much drama, too much bullshit. I've tried exercising and when I finally sit down and finish I somehow feel even worse.
[QUOTE=SNAAAAAAAKE;31306399]I started volunteering with an ems group, and that was going great Then i had my first real patient, he was around 8. Do any of you know what it's like to hold a kid's spine in place after he has broken his neck? Having his tears cover your hands, and being so in the zone with your adrenaline pumping that you barely notice the 100+ people watching you. It's terrifying. Immediately after i got him on a backboard and into an ambulance, i walked over to a trashcan and threw up. I hate the way my life has started, i'm only 18 and this is what has come up for me. .[/QUOTE] You're 18 and already an EMT -B? Or did you not need any EMT certification to do the volunteer work? I ask because I'm going to take my EMT basic course in a year. Also chin up, if you're still volunteering with EMS, you can take pride in the fact that you're saving peoples lives. Even if you can't save everyone, doesn't mean you can't do some good. Also things can get better, so don't fall into that state of hopelessness, no matter how appealing it may seem.
[QUOTE=ScoutKing;31311119]You're 18 and already an EMT -B? Or did you not need any EMT certification to do the volunteer work? I ask because I'm going to take my EMT basic course in a year. Also chin up, if you're still volunteering with EMS, you can take pride in the fact that you're saving peoples lives. Even if you can't save everyone, doesn't mean you can't do some good. Also things can get better, so don't fall into that state of hopelessness, no matter how appealing it may seem.[/QUOTE] I was only there as a volunteer and since basic is a paid position i just got certified as a first responder. The basic course is roughly what i did, minus the few meds and other more intrusive things you can perform, so it's pretty much just advanced first-aid. I had to stop volunteering when i got my job, i also had been doing some volunteer work with a childrens advocacy center. I just got a second job though helping a sheriffs department swat team. As for you taking the EMT-B course, it really is a great thing to do. If you want to get involved in medicine and really help people, then that's the job for you. The only problems with it is that you get some crazy hours, the pay isn't as great as nursing or really an other medical field, and it'll be stressful. Just remember "You>your partner>the patient", take every necessary precaution every single time, and if you think what you're doing may injure you, then don't do it. [QUOTE=applebeef;31308427]Yeah. My old school shut down, and honestly? I just don't want to bother with that shit anymore. Too much drama, too much bullshit. I've tried exercising and when I finally sit down and finish I somehow feel even worse.[/QUOTE] Is college or any other option of schooling something you can do, i'm not sure how old you are. If not, get a part time job. It could be a great way to meet people.
[QUOTE=SNAAAAAAAKE;31318168]I was only there as a volunteer and since basic is a paid position i just got certified as a first responder. The basic course is roughly what i did, minus the few meds and other more intrusive things you can perform, so it's pretty much just advanced first-aid. I had to stop volunteering when i got my job, i also had been doing some volunteer work with a childrens advocacy center. I just got a second job though helping a sheriffs department swat team. As for you taking the EMT-B course, it really is a great thing to do. If you want to get involved in medicine and really help people, then that's the job for you. The only problems with it is that you get some crazy hours, the pay isn't as great as nursing or really an other medical field, and it'll be stressful. Just remember "You>your partner>the patient", take every necessary precaution every single time, and if you think what you're doing may injure you, then don't do it. [/QUOTE] Yeah it's what I want to do. I just did a 12 hour ride along, one of my friends is a EMT -p, and he told me he would help me get a job with 911 EMS once i get my basics, so i don't have to dick around with private services. I am also welcome to do another 12 hour shift ride along any time. The thing is, the guy likes to put you to work, so when I do ride a longs with him, he likes to make you take vitals, help with the gurney, and generally he taught me a shit ton of stuff in the 12 hours. So I plan to take a lot of unofficial ride alongs until i can start taking my EMT -B course (in a year or two). But yeah, I know the pay is shit, but I know if you can get your paramedic certification, you can be hired as practically a nurse in the ER. No idea how much money though you make working as a EMT -p in the ER. [QUOTE=applebeef;31308427]Yeah. My old school shut down, and honestly? I just don't want to bother with that shit anymore. Too much drama, too much bullshit. I've tried exercising and when I finally sit down and finish I somehow feel even worse.[/QUOTE] I know school may suck, but to be fair it is in your best interest to suck it up and just get it done with.
[QUOTE=ScoutKing;31319706]Yeah it's what I want to do. I just did a 12 hour ride along, one of my friends is a EMT -p, and he told me he would help me get a job with 911 EMS once i get my basics, so i don't have to dick around with private services. I am also welcome to do another 12 hour shift ride along any time. The thing is, the guy likes to put you to work, so when I do ride a longs with him, he likes to make you take vitals, help with the gurney, and generally he taught me a shit ton of stuff in the 12 hours. So I plan to take a lot of unofficial ride alongs until i can start taking my EMT -B course (in a year or two). But yeah, I know the pay is shit, but I know if you can get your paramedic certification, you can be hired as practically a nurse in the ER. No idea how much money though you make working as a EMT -p in the ER. [/QUOTE] It's good to do as much as you can. Experience on the field means a lot more than just what they teach you in class. I have no idea how much you would get paid, it depends a lot on where you live. There really isn't a big demand for paramedics in general, so i can't imagine the pay being that much higher. Although after you got you paramedic you can do what a lot of people do and go to nursing. You could get a job at a trauma ward, having all the experience would put you at the top, and thats where the big bucks would come in. Although if you don't care much for money just staying paramedic is probably a good bet, most people i've talked to have enjoyed that more.
I'm thinking of checking myself into an ER or something. i'm on the verge of suicide. I have no one to talk to and life seems very bleak. What do you think? Should I ask my mom to see a therapist or should I check in to the ER regardless of her permission? I was setting a date for suicide about a day ago but stopped myself when i realized what I was doing. Im hopeful that I maybe can be happy one day so I want to try everything.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255
I feel good without depression!
Ever since I started college I've been feeling depressed for the first time in my life. It's not that the schoolwork's hard but I've never lived away from home and I don't really have any friends so I just feel alone and lost. I can't sleep at night, I'm always tired during the day, I never feel hungry or thirsty, and unlike when I was in a bad mood in high school, my computer doesn't help me escape it at all.
I felt like that during the 10 weeks I worked 6 days in a row. the day I was off I did nothing. I didn't eat sleep or anything. So just keep trudging on you'll be home to your friends and family soon. Or you can socialize a bit.
[QUOTE=PassingWord;31345118]I'm thinking of checking myself into an ER or something. i'm on the verge of suicide. I have no one to talk to and life seems very bleak. What do you think? Should I ask my mom to see a therapist or should I check in to the ER regardless of her permission? I was setting a date for suicide about a day ago but stopped myself when i realized what I was doing. Im hopeful that I maybe can be happy one day so I want to try everything.[/QUOTE] If you feel you're an immediate danger to yourself then you probably should go to the ER yeah.
[QUOTE=Zeke129;31365586]If you feel you're an immediate danger to yourself then you probably should go to the ER yeah.[/QUOTE] He should go to a mental hospital if he is going to check himself in anywhere. An ER will probably just give him some meds, recommended him to some psychiatrists, and discharge him (if he was ever even admitted).
[QUOTE=ScoutKing;31370441]He should go to a mental hospital if he is going to check himself in anywhere. An ER will probably just give him some meds, recommended him to some psychiatrists, and discharge him (if he was ever even admitted).[/QUOTE] ERs are legally obligated to get mental help for a suicidal person
Parents are out of town. One garage. One car. I'm hopin' I don't botch this one.
[QUOTE=Zeke129;31403120]ERs are legally obligated to get mental help for a suicidal person[/QUOTE] I know, I just think he would get better treatment at the mental hospital. [editline]29th July 2011[/editline] [QUOTE=xZippy;31404297]Parents are out of town. One garage. One car. I'm hopin' I don't botch this one.[/QUOTE] If you go through with it, everyone in this thread/forum will miss you.
[QUOTE=xZippy;31404297]Parents are out of town. One garage. One car. I'm hopin' I don't botch this one.[/QUOTE] C'mon, buddy, want to talk about it first? Maybe we can help you. :smile:
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