• Maverick's Love/Relationship/Social Advice Megathread
    3,562 replies, posted
Well, I'm one of those people who don't like to ask "What's up?" (fortunately or unfortunately), and that's why I asked. I don't mind others asking, but I can't and obviously, I can't call her up and expect a "What's up?" from her to carry on the conversation.
"I like your chest, may I touch it?" [QUOTE=Mlisen14;29607095]Aha, I have a friend who I'd consider very intelligent and well versed in current affairs, but she went to the Justin Bieber concert in Melbourne last night and has had a weird teenage crush on him for years. She's 17 and studying law and international studies at university yet listens to J-Biebz. *This is more in reply to the other guy but you mentioned Bieber.[/QUOTE] Intelligence is knowing what you do not know. Your friend is intelligent whether or not they listen to Justin Bieber. Music reflects nothing to do with one's knowledge. If anything, their personality. Maybe.
I hate when people ask whats up, because it's such a bland thing to say. Anyway most people don't have that many long and pointless conversations over the phone like they used to, instead the phone is normally more to the point. So unless you are really good at phone conversations, I would suggest just keeping it simple and asking to actually meet up face to face somewhere. People don't really wink at each other much, so today when this girl made this really flirty wink at me, I was kinda caught off guard. I thought she was joking so I started to kinda laugh, but then it didn't look like a joke so I sorta paused then winked back. It was pretty bad...
[QUOTE=THEMikeDurham;29605859]Why does she eat those cheetos, and not another brand? Does she know what those cheetos are made from? What are those cheetos doing to her body? How aware is she of all of this, and other concerning factors? This can be used to somewhat accurately determine intelligence level.[/QUOTE] As Sigmund Freud once said, "Sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar." You're overanalyzing. [QUOTE=THEMikeDurham;29605952]It's about the lyrics. For example, people who listen to mainstream music are more likely to be dumb, drones, or they haven't looked into what music they like the most enough. People who listen to shit with actual meaning or something of intellectual significance to it, tend to be the opposite.[/QUOTE] Well going by that mentality, people who listen to "meaningful shit" could also be pretentious fucks; oh, hi there hipsters! Really Mike, it's not about music, it's about your passions. I don't give a fuck what I'm listening to because I don't give a fuck about music. Music sets a mood for me and that's about it. Now, on the flip side, I LOVE video games, and the problem I often run into with girls who like them is they like all the ones I don't. Honestly, I avoid "gamer girls" because video games are one of my passions and I like to play them alone. Now if she wants to get involved in some of my other passions (like canoeing) then great, that I love to do with people... but games? That's my alone time. This way, she can like Call of Duty and I can like Bad Company 2, and we never have to deal with it because they're fucking games and don't matter anyway.
I fucked a friend of some girl(who's bipolar) I've been chilling with for the past two or three weeks and now shes self harming over the combination of that and that her boyfriend dumped her on the same day. The fuck do I do?
I wink at bitches all the time. Bitches love winks [editline]4th May 2011[/editline] Fuck her again
I dunno bro.
Just live life bro.
[QUOTE=Phsykotik;29614016]"I like your chest, may I touch it?" Intelligence is knowing what you do not know. Your friend is intelligent whether or not they listen to Justin Bieber. Music reflects nothing to do with one's knowledge. If anything, their personality. Maybe.[/QUOTE] I'm saying that the music = intelligence argument is stupid.
I listen to rap so I'm big and dumb [editline]4th May 2011[/editline] !
[QUOTE=Mop;29623357]I listen to rap so I'm big and dumb [editline]4th May 2011[/editline] ![/QUOTE] inb4 someone says your black.
But he is. He's 2pac and 2pac is black.
I always seem to not have enough to talk about to anyone really It always seems like small talk. I want to have nice conversations with people but I can't ever seem to keep it going. Any tips on how to make my conversations better?
[QUOTE=Doritos_Man;29624598]I always seem to not have enough to talk about to anyone really It always seems like small talk. I want to have nice conversations with people but I can't ever seem to keep it going. Any tips on how to make my conversations better?[/QUOTE] It's difficult to just tell someone how to make conversations better. Try not to repeat what the other person says too much, and if a topic seems to be dragging, change it. There's not a lot that you can be told without already knowing. You just need to know topics and be appealing. If you talk with enough enthusiasm, anything is interesting to listen to. Well... Most things.
Just practice saying whatever's on your mind. I know sometimes it feels like you don't know what to say, but your mind is always thinking about a million things at once. All you have to do is get good at finding something to talk about.
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;29624650]Just practice saying whatever's on your mind. I know sometimes it feels like you don't know what to say, but your mind is always thinking about a million things at once. All you have to do is get good at finding something to talk about.[/QUOTE] I don't why but most of the things I say just feel awkward for some reason I wouldn't say I am a creep or anything I am just very shy when it comes to talking about almost anything, I usually just sit and listen
[QUOTE=Doritos_Man;29624789]I don't why but most of the things I say just feel awkward for some reason I wouldn't say I am a creep or anything I am just very shy when it comes to talking about almost anything, I usually just sit and listen[/QUOTE] We can't help you with being shy. You can't shoot down suggestions on how to talk with "I'm shy" because that defeats the purpose of asking for assistance. Try talking more?
[QUOTE=Doritos_Man;29624789]I don't why but most of the things I say just feel awkward for some reason I wouldn't say I am a creep or anything I am just very shy when it comes to talking about almost anything, I usually just sit and listen[/QUOTE] I know what you mean, i am slightly aspergish, so conservations for a long time was such a hard thing to do, always came up with the excuse of we have nothin in common or something like that. recently after getting on antidepressants and other related shit, i found tbh it doesn't matter what the fuck you are talking about, you just talk about something, it almost a game of improvisation, make up shit as you go if you have to. Now After a couple of weeks, i have become from a silent nice guy to a energetic talky person who bold enough to talk about shit that makes people laugh or be shocked. i have received a lot of self-confidence and cocky ego boost from doing so. so my recommendation is to just make up shit, pretend you don't know something or ASK about something you never know what you learn.
[QUOTE=MindMuncher;29624891]We can't help you with being shy. You can't shoot down suggestions on how to talk with "I'm shy" because that defeats the purpose of asking for assistance. Try talking more?[/QUOTE] I'm not trying to shoot down suggestions with I'm shy Thanks guys
[QUOTE=Doritos_Man;29624966]I'm not trying to shoot down suggestions with I'm shy Thanks guys[/QUOTE] Then I apologize for misreading it.
[QUOTE=CorporalRoss;29624961]I know what you mean, i am slightly aspergish, so conservations for a long time was such a hard thing to do, always came up with the excuse of we have nothin in common or something like that. recently after getting on antidepressants and other related shit, i found tbh it doesn't matter what the fuck you are talking about, you just talk about something, it almost a game of improvisation, make up shit as you go if you have to. Now After a couple of weeks, i have become from a silent nice guy to a energetic talky person who bold enough to talk about shit that makes people laugh or be shocked. i have received a lot of self-confidence and cocky ego boost from doing so. so my recommendation is to just make up shit, pretend you don't know something or ASK about something you never know what you learn.[/QUOTE] Thanks for this So far the main thing is just try to talk more?
I don't understand how people have trouble with talking... Just have fun, be cocky, make jokes, who gives a fuck. talk about what you want to talk about.
[QUOTE=Doritos_Man;29625107]Thanks for this So far the main thing is just try to talk more?[/QUOTE] It the best medicine for this, part of it either is comfort zone or "disconnected" social behavior from your psychological state of your brain, where you might be more of a analytical thinker, processing your every thought and their consequences. the saying is think before you speak, instead try speak before you think. you will make mistakes but it creates more conservations and tightens the socializing in a fun way. For example i was commenting on how a girl is ticklish by saying she "bounced" it was a bit awkward but we laughed it off and took it as a fun accidental joke
if some of you guys really have a hard time on speaking/talking, take a speech and debate class. and sign up for something that require impromptu speaking/responses so you don't have a chance to over-think it.
[QUOTE=CorporalRoss;29625162]It the best medicine for this, part of it either is comfort zone or "disconnected" social behavior from your psychological state of your brain, where you might be more of a analytical thinker, processing your every thought and their consequences. the saying is think before you speak, instead try speak before you think. you will make mistakes but it creates more conservations and tightens the socializing in a fun way.[/QUOTE] Yeah I am more of an analytical thinker I think another problem is that my parents kept me away from many of the things people know today when I was younger stuff like music, tv, etc. Even though I am 16 my parents still treat me like I'm like 12, That is one of the reasons I find it hard to have a conversation with people I just won't know what they are talking about. (I am not rejecting anyone ideas here, I'm making notes about my background)
[QUOTE=ScoutKing;29625207]if some of you guys really have a hard time on speaking/talking, take a speech and debate class. and sign up for something that require impromptu speaking/responses so you don't have a chance to over-think it.[/QUOTE] Was part of my middle school's debate team, it definitely helps a lot. I'm still a bit shy when it comes to meeting new people as a Junior in high school, I'm working on it though. And yes, speak before you think. Sound counter-intuitive, but it makes conversations a lot better and a lot easier to hold. Just say what comes to your mind.
[QUOTE=Doritos_Man;29625279]Yeah I am more of an analytical thinker I think another problem is that my parents kept me away from many of the things people know today when I was younger stuff like music, tv, etc. Even though I am 16 my parents still treat me like I'm like 12, That is one of the reasons I find it hard to have a conversation with people I just won't know what they are talking about. (I am not rejecting anyone ideas here, I'm making notes about my background)[/QUOTE] Same thing when it comes about what you don't know they are talking about, didnt watch tv shows, or had different music taste, but i dibbled in some news, and being a philosophy and history geek, i just threw that in there or just talk about what was relevant and happening in the environment, half the time im talking about how lame are such and such assignment or where to eat. once you break down that part with certain individual no doubt they will listen to your interest and even if they arent much of a thinker, they will most likely ask questions or explain something and it easy from there =D
I feel like im the only one who has side thoughts while having a conversation/talking/giving a speech. I find my self thinking about what im going to do later in the after noon if im giving a speech in front of 40 people (and i gave a good speech to).
I took adderall for a while, and it made me very focused on work and very disconnected from other people. I had no idea it was the adderall, and I really thought I was just boring and incredibly awkward. After a while I figured out that when I didn't take it I was [i]much[/i] more open and willing to talk, joke, laugh, etc. I now take vyvance instead and it's so much better. I hated the way I acted on adderall, especially because I had no idea it wasn't just a problem with me.
Preparing in advance is a great way of making yourself as nervous as fuck to do something. Just do it.
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