• Maverick's Love/Relationship/Social Advice Megathread
    3,562 replies, posted
She wanted to walk in the park with our dogs, it was really weird. I seem to attract girls who like weird dates.
Huh.. To me something like that is better sounding than, say, a dinner date... I like quirky girls I guess.
It might have been if it was a romantic stroll through the park but trust me it was just weird.
Fair enough, then. Success, I just found out this girl I'm vaguely interested in actually shares a shit load if interests with me. :smile:
Waiting for summer is really annoying, but it's good thing our finals are next thursday/friday. It's been almost a month since our first date, and we've both been swamped with homework and projects and college research and everything else.
Walking with dogs on a date is not good. The girl I've mentioned in this thread, we did voluntary work at a Vets/kennels on a Saturday. So obviously we had to walk a lot of dogs, and there is nothing romantic about getting tugged around by a dog, getting sniffed in inappropriate places, waiting for dogs to shit, or any other of that stuff. But it was good talking time, and we got some bloody funny moments out of it. Hopefully being in a work environment with her showed that I was quite mature. But I'm kind of glad now that it stopped (because of things out of our control) I've got more of an excuse to see her on more "date" like meet-ups. Ironically we're going for a walk in a park on Saturday. No Dogs though. And if anyone's doubting the advice of MaverikIB, Dark_light and the likes, I've kind of got proof they're right. I've been told to play it like a friend with this girl, as she has a boyfriend, but try and be more physical and flirty with her, yet don't ask her out directly. And then there is that golden rule, don't confess how you've always loved them and all that shit. Well it seems a friend of hers fell directly into that shit. This guy, who is two years older than us(18), big hunky swimming guy, and goes to the same grammar school as me, asks her out. He wanted to take her for a walk, movies and meal. He then says how he has always liked her, and has really got a thing for her. She just got uncomfortable, and said she couldn't do it. She said she'd meet up as friends, but I think they've since cancelled it, because I both stole the date/day and the idea :smug:.
Yeah, I also got proof that they're right. I met my girlfriend last September. I wanted to ask her out 2 weeks after we met but a few days prior she changed her facebook relationship status to in a relationship with someone else, and so I held back and kept things playful and not super-close, and she helped me and my friends with art for an Android game we were working on, so she came over whenever the entire team was over to get some programming done on the weekends. When I asked her out about a month ago, things were pretty comfortable, it wasn't awkward at all, we didn't really ever run out of things to talk about, etc. Note that this was after 6 months of being friends and her going through and entire relationship. Also, a question - prom's this weekend for me, she says she wants to go with her best friend from another school (who is a girl), and I'm not really sure if I want to ask her or if she's got her mind already made up? At this point I'm thinking of just asking her if she's going to prom with Amanda and gauging her certainty as whether or not she's willing to change her plan. I'm guessing that when I ask she'll assume that I want to ask her because I'm obvious about this kind of stuff in general, but I don't know. Maybe I'm overthinking this. Any better ideas or will that do? I don't really want to go through the trouble of gathering the ingredients for and baking a blackberry cream pie (long story) in one night only to get a "no, sorry, I already told you I was going with Amanda, why'd you ask?"
[QUOTE=Fhux;29742422]No really, is all I should do go and ask her? Even if I've barely said a word to her? Even if all she knows me by is "the quite weird, quite ugly, occasionally funny guy with very little friends"? Anyone? Except Occlusion, that is...[/QUOTE] It depends on what you ask her. If you're literally nobody to her at the moment, it probably isn't the best idea to come out of nowhere and ask if she wants to go out with you. It is kinda indirectly telegraphing your interest, because of how random it is to go up to a complete stranger and ask them out on a date. This can work, it's just that you better deliver it damn well if that's the only time you've ever interacted with each other. I'd suggest try starting some light conversation with her, just so she knows you exist at the very least. Do you share any classes or friends or anything at all? Perhaps once she at least knows your name, you can go ahead and ask her for coffee or whatever. Try get to talking about something you could use as a date. Like I just said, coffee is an easy one, because if you find out she likes a particular drink for example, it's as easy as saying something like "I know this place that has the best mochacinos, like seriously. How about I take you on Friday?" I'm assuming you're still in high school so in the end, as has been discussed in the last few pages, just relax and don't get so worked up over this shit so early. This is all practice, it's all just to gain experience so when you actually start meeting women seriously, you'll be much more prepared and have a much better understanding of how it all works. Best of luck. [editline]11th May 2011[/editline] [QUOTE=robmaister12;29754155]Also, a question - prom's this weekend for me, she says she wants to go with her best friend from another school (who is a girl), and I'm not really sure if I want to ask her or if she's got her mind already made up? At this point I'm thinking of just asking her if she's going to prom with Amanda and gauging her certainty as whether or not she's willing to change her plan. I'm guessing that when I ask she'll assume that I want to ask her because I'm obvious about this kind of stuff in general, but I don't know. Maybe I'm overthinking this. Any better ideas or will that do? I don't really want to go through the trouble of gathering the ingredients for and baking a blackberry cream pie (long story) in one night only to get a "no, sorry, I already told you I was going with Amanda, why'd you ask?"[/QUOTE] It does sound like you're overthinking it. I don't get all this hype over prom, here in Australia we have an end of year formal for years 10 and 12, but there is no where near the same amount of pressure to 'take someone' and all that as it seems there is over prom. I definitely think you're going too far if you have some elaborate plan involving a blackberry cream pie, like wtf? If she's going with a girl from another school, then she's pretty much open for the whole night anyway as she isn't going with a guy. You could just ask her casually, and if she's interested she'll most likely turn down her friend to spend the night with you, and if she isn't, it'll be as easy as saying something like "Oh yeah that's right, you were going with Amanda." Can someone actually explain what 'going to prom with someone' means? I honestly don't know, do you have to dance and eat together or what? Like I understand arriving together, and I guess some schools do the whole best couple award or whatever, but it really just sounds like a weird way to basically ask someone "Do you want to awkwardly stick together for the whole evening?"
If you're afraid with walking up to a girl and saying something then I'd advise just going for it really. I went up to this girl I had barely talked to before and managed to hold a conversation from that train platform all the way to college. Granted it was a little slow at first but it became much easier to talk without thinking about it. I have a problem of my own though. So I think I'm interested in that girl I just mentioned and several days ago I asked her if she wanted to meet so we could go get lunch in the cafe (at college) and she made up a vague excuse and said "Maybe some other time". She didn't give a day or anything to do it another time though so I thought it was just an excuse. I tried again yesterday and she said she was revising with a friend (again not offering another day). She could just be busy and interested without giving other days though. She's been giving me other signs that she's interested (like sending me a message on facebook saying she saw me on the train to college and wanted to add me as I looked like a nice guy, and chatting to me a lot online). tldr; getting mixed signals, declines lunch twice without giving another day.
Yeah, that's a no. Two declines without even a hint of a counter-offer, that should be pretty clear. Adding you on Facebook is not a sign she's interested, so don't think twice about it. Don't get carried away with this, because at the moment she doesn't really seem interested in you at all, to be blunt. Take a few steps back, let her start any and all conversations online, and when you do talk, be funny, interesting and confident, but for the most part just move on.
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;29743600]Plus that would be a pretty weird first date.[/QUOTE] Thought so too on second thought just a minute after i sent that post. Too tired to think. couldnt post because the facepunch doesnt work too well on my phone. Now im not even that interested in her anymore somehow :v: Im just gonna casually meet her sometime, not a date, and see if i get interested. she'd really be fun to hang out with though. [editline]11th May 2011[/editline] There isnt actually anyone im interested in right now. or, there is one but she already rejected me :saddowns:
Hey what are some good ideas for dates? This girl I've been dating and I always go for walks (Though we've done a few other things), and I'd like to try something new. I could go over to her place for a movie, but I'm looking for other ideas.
Ice skating is good. Especially if she sucks and needs your help :c00lbert:
[QUOTE=Faren;29756232]Ice skating is good. Especially if she sucks and needs your help :c00lbert:[/QUOTE] I suck on ice skating :saddowns:
[QUOTE=hgncommand;29756003]Hey what are some good ideas for dates? This girl I've been dating and I always go for walks (Though we've done a few other things), and I'd like to try something new. I could go over to her place for a movie, but I'm looking for other ideas.[/QUOTE] if you live in Las Vegas go to the adventure dome or the stratosphere best fucking dates you'll ever have
[QUOTE=Octyl;29751815]Fair enough, then. Success, I just found out this girl I'm vaguely interested in actually shares a shit load if interests with me. :smile:[/QUOTE] What's this crap about girls having same interests = good thing? If a girl likes everything you like, it'll get boring really damn fast. You should make an effort to pursue girls with different interests as you so you actually have stuff to talk about for quite a while. Discussions and disagreements (keep in mind, disagreement =/= argument) are healthy and practically necessary for the survival of relationships.
Playing devil's advocate in conversations does help to keep things interesting too. Even if you share the same viewpoint, it can make for a heated discussion.
[QUOTE=MaverickIB;29758183]What's this crap about girls having same interests = good thing? If a girl likes everything you like, it'll get boring really damn fast. You should make an effort to pursue girls with different interests as you so you actually have stuff to talk about for quite a while. Discussions and disagreements (keep in mind, disagreement =/= argument) are healthy and practically necessary for the survival of relationships.[/QUOTE] Well exactly the same interests aren't good. But say if you're both interested in the same genre of music, you'll be debating say over who's your favourite artist. You both have some knowledge and something to start with, but you aren't like: "Yeah that's my favourite artist", "Oh really mine too", "Cool..." Won't just be "Do you like x?", "Not really", "Oh." either. I do see your point, but it's not entirely bad. Depends if you classify same interests as exactly the same.
[QUOTE=MaverickIB;29758183]What's this crap about girls having same interests = good thing? If a girl likes everything you like, it'll get boring really damn fast. You should make an effort to pursue girls with different interests as you so you actually have stuff to talk about for quite a while. Discussions and disagreements (keep in mind, disagreement =/= argument) are healthy and practically necessary for the survival of relationships.[/QUOTE] I do somewhat agree with you. Differences are great in a relationship, and the couples who cling to each other and it will almost always get boring. However, having the same interests to an extent is really not a bad thing at all, and sharing no interests at all is almost always a deal breaker. I know a couple, one of them is a good friend of mine, and they have nothing in common. You'd think that this makes an interesting relationship, but they have little to nothing to talk about, seeing as they care that little for each others interests. His girlfriend tells him what movies she likes, so that he can watch them, and then they'll have something to speak about. Sharing a few interests is great for spending time together. Eg. my boyfriend and I both like playing computer, so playing unreal tournament against each other (.. or with each other, i prefer against) is something we both have fun doing.
[QUOTE=SaWAH;29759603]Eg. my boyfriend and I both like playing computer, so playing unreal tournament against each other (.. or with each other, i prefer against) is something we both have fun doing.[/QUOTE] pah you're lucky that you both enjoy brainless shooter games meanwhile i have to pay attention to super-brainiac games "where it's not always about winning", fucking hell
Oh, fuck it, I'll talk to her tomorrow, at least a little. I bet that I'll chicken out, though.
[QUOTE=Dark_Light;29754627]but it really just sounds like a weird way to basically ask someone "Do you want to awkwardly stick together for the whole evening?"[/QUOTE] That's why you don't ask anyone who you'd be awkward around. And it's only awkward because you make it awkward. Anyway today me and this girl were talking about facial recognition and how bad I am at it and I brought up as a joke how autistic kids are supposedly really bad at it too. Then she seriously suggested the idea that I have social autism that didn't affect my intelligence or some shit that doesn't exist, and she was actually trying to be sincere, not joking. are you fucking kidding me? It's like making fun of someone's laugh. [editline]11th May 2011[/editline] Actually it might be true because I first read this [QUOTE=robmaister12;29754155]asking her if she's going to prom with Amanda and gauging her certainty as whether or not she's willing to change her plan.[/QUOTE] as "gauging her eyes out". :v:
[QUOTE=Fhux;29760193]Oh, fuck it, I'll talk to her tomorrow, at least a little. I bet that I'll chicken out, though.[/QUOTE] Contradicting yourself in the same sentence doesn't do you any favors. [editline]11th May 2011[/editline] [QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;29761665]Anyway today me and this girl were talking about facial recognition and how bad I am at it and I brought up as a joke how autistic kids are supposedly really bad at it too. Then she seriously suggested the idea that I have social autism that didn't affect my intelligence or some shit that doesn't exist, and she was actually trying to be sincere, not joking. are you fucking kidding me? It's like making fun of someone's laugh.[/QUOTE] What's wrong with making fun of someone's laugh? I do it to this one girl I know all the time. She has three types of laughs that are all natural. One is like a normal "haha" laugh, but it's extremely and uncontrollably loud. The second sounds like a seagull is trapped in her throat. The third is just a normal "haha" laugh, but she snorts between each "haha".
I've always thought making fun of someone's laugh was one of the meanest thing you could say to someone. You laugh when you are the very happiest, and to hear that you sound like an idiot will make you self conscious, which really takes away from those peak moments of happiness.
HYUCKHYUCK HYUCK HYUCK Gotta love that
I laugh like a dying hyena :frown:
Obnoxious laughs are not something I'd point out unless I dislike the person.
[QUOTE=MaverickIB;29758183]What's this crap about girls having same interests = good thing? If a girl likes everything you like, it'll get boring really damn fast. You should make an effort to pursue girls with different interests as you so you actually have stuff to talk about for quite a while. Discussions and disagreements (keep in mind, disagreement =/= argument) are healthy and practically necessary for the survival of relationships.[/QUOTE] I guess shit load was an overstatement.. There are loads of things that we don't share in common, just some nice small things that we do. You want to have some things in common, just not all. [editline]11th May 2011[/editline] [QUOTE=Fhux;29760193]Oh, fuck it, I'll talk to her tomorrow, at least a little. I bet that I'll chicken out, though.[/QUOTE] Oh, and the simplest cure to that is just... Not chickening out. Like I said before, right before I gave this girl my number, my brain started going "eh, you don't have to do this..." I mentally yelled at myself to get the fuck over it. And then I did it. And it was fine. Do it!
How would I best approach bringing up the pill with a girl? I'm no good with condoms on. I don't want her to be inconvenienced but at the same time we'd both rather be getting some than none. Does this seem like a legitimate enough point?
[QUOTE=Mlisen14;29769493]I'm no good with condoms on.[/QUOTE] What?
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