[QUOTE=gerbile5;28377649]
also what kind of sign is it if someone has sort of seemingly tried to draw eye contact by copying the way your sitting to an extent and sort of looking at you on and off.[/QUOTE]
As the wise MaverickIB says, "Stop trying to read the damn signs- it means nothing. If she is interested, she will say yes. If that fails, oh well just get over it. One girl in a million will not kill you."
Also, do not plan, just act.
[QUOTE=thisispain;28377748]i have the same exact problem, i was telling her i didn't eat the rice crackers but she didn't believe me so i felt ready to break up with her
PS i did eat the rice crackers[/QUOTE]
you fiend!!!
nice rice crackers
how could you :'(
[QUOTE=Phsykotik;28377796]As the wise MaverickIB says, "Stop trying to read the damn signs- it means nothing. If she is interested, she will say yes. If that fails, oh well just get over it. One girl in a million will not kill you."
Also, do not plan, just act.[/QUOTE]
i am gonna do it, but its just more of a curiosity thing, in regards to the "sign"
[QUOTE=gerbile5;28377960]i am gonna do it,[/QUOTE]
I wonder how similar to public speaking it is. You know? Whenever I have to speak to a group, I usually never prepare, because then I feel worse- I almost always just kinda, wing it. I mean, I will do research to know my topic, but when I start going at it, I just go at it. I must test this theory!
never thought of it like that. i usually do better at presentations when i plan then thats for sure.
i see how it correlates though.
[editline]2nd March 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=JackHowers;28375045]Just went through a really rough breakup that only came into existence because of a really stupid rumor about me that she couldn't trust me enough to disprove.
:frown:[/QUOTE]
you know mrown, you have terrible luck
sorry to hear about it
[QUOTE=MaverickIB;28378404]She is more than likely not doing anything out of the ordinary. Instead, it is your brain fabricating "signs."
That is why it is stupid to try and read signs, because your brain is often the one making them up.
It has to do with the way the brain works when you want something. The example I always use is with cars. My favorite car in the entire world is the El Camino. Wherever I go, I feel like I see El Camino's everywhere. In reality, I only see an El Camino once a month or so, but my brain wants one so bad that it makes me interpret those monthly sightings as an "oh my god, they're everywhere" kind of thing.
Same concept with girls. If you really like a girl, every time she's even looking in your general direction, your brain is going to tell you that she was staring at you. She's probably not trying to copy the way you sit (seriously, think about it, who the fuck does that?), you just see her sitting that way for a few moments and your brain tells you "oh my god, she is trying to copy you so she can get your attention."
In a nutshell, trying to read signs is stupid because you can never tell when they're actually there or if they are being fabricated by your own mind.[/QUOTE]
informative and duly noted fine sir.
wait wait hold on
its a bus okay? so when she sat in the seat on the other side of the isle, the fact she would lean against the window, and practically stare at me the whole time until she got off and made eye contact multiple times is just my brain making it up, even though she clearly made eye contact multiple times? (on 4 occasions this happened. and when sitting in a seat not across from mine she just sits forward like normal people)
im not gonna call you out on being wrong, since your 99% chance not but i mean... well... ill see how you respond
[QUOTE=gerbile5;28377960]i am gonna do it, but its just more of a curiosity thing, in regards to the "sign"[/QUOTE]
She is more than likely not doing anything out of the ordinary. Instead, it is your brain fabricating "signs."
That is why it is stupid to try and read signs, because your brain is often the one making them up.
It has to do with the way the brain works when you want something. The example I always use is with cars. My favorite car in the entire world is the El Camino. Wherever I go, I feel like I see El Camino's everywhere. In reality, I only see an El Camino once a month or so, but my brain wants one so bad that it makes me interpret those monthly sightings as an "oh my god, they're everywhere" kind of thing.
Same concept with girls. If you really like a girl, every time she's even looking in your general direction, your brain is going to tell you that she was staring at you. She's probably not trying to copy the way you sit (seriously, think about it, who the fuck does that?), you just see her sitting that way for a few moments and your brain tells you "oh my god, she is trying to copy you so she can get your attention."
In a nutshell, trying to read signs is stupid because you can never tell when they're actually there or if they are being fabricated by your own mind.
[QUOTE=Phsykotik;28378036]I wonder how similar to public speaking it is. You know? Whenever I have to speak to a group, I usually never prepare, because then I feel worse- I almost always just kinda, wing it. I mean, I will do research to know my topic, but when I start going at it, I just go at it. I must test this theory![/QUOTE]
Eh, I guess, but the comparison is a stretch.
In reality, the reason why it's terrible to memorize what you're going to say to a girl and whatnot is because it puts more on your plate, which makes you more prone to mistakes. Instead of just worrying about talking to a girl in general, you're trying to remember what you prepared and whatnot. Knowing the way most kids are, it will simply take the already present stuttering and make it worse.
Sure, you'll stutter and be nervous if you don't prepare what to say, but your thoughts flow a lot more smoothly when you're allowing yourself to adapt to the situation in real time. Preparing is stupid because things [B]never[/B] go the way you expect/plan them to go. Which is why, when you go out on a date, it is important to have a back up plan.
Oh no, all of the tickets at the theater are sold out? Good thing you did your research and know there's a bowling alley nearby. Of course you don't tell her that you made back up plans, you sound as surprised as her, because it makes you look like a slick motherfucker when you don't hesitate and can change course at the flick of a switch. Girls love dudes that can (or at least seem to) think and act quickly.
she coughed i think she wants my nuts
Christ, if you thought this place was bad, that Lifepunch place is even worse.
It's like land of kids who don't know anything about talking to girls giving advice to other kids that don't know anything about talking to girls. I really don't want to become an active poster there, but I don't know if I can just let such massive amounts of aspergers fester like that. It weighs too heavily on my conscience.
[QUOTE=MaverickIB;28378761]Christ, if you thought this place was bad, that Lifepunch place is even worse.
It's like land of kids who don't know anything about talking to girls giving advice to other kids that don't know anything about talking to girls. I really don't want to become an active poster there, but I don't know if I can just let such massive amounts of aspergers fester like that. It weighs too heavily on my conscience.[/QUOTE]
why haven't people erected statues for your virtue?
[editline]1st March 2011[/editline]
but seriously i'm glad you are picking that up maverick really appreciate it
[B]because it used to be me that they bothered with questions[/B] so once again thank you the pleasure is mine
'Signs' are the cherry on top. Most people in this sort of community call them IOIs, or iotas/indicators of interest. Sure, many of them are signals that she is interested, but to base your entire opinion of how she feels on them is stupid.
If you're talking to a girl and she's smiling and laughing, and you can feel that vibe, then when she goes and touches her hair or licks her lips, then great, that is probably a meaningful sign that she's enjoying your company and wouldn't mind it going further.
However, if you've never even spoken to her and you're just awkwardly watching out for her to make a signal that she is interested, and then when she glances at you or whatever, you're just trying to rationalize completely normal behaviour.
Guys, I cheated on my boyfriend with a stripper, I don't know how to tell him :( also my ass is still sore for like a whole week, why is this?
[QUOTE=plokoon9619;28378902]Guys, I cheated on my boyfriend with a stripper, I don't know how to tell him :( also my ass is still sore for like a whole week, why is this?[/QUOTE]
0/10 for effort
[QUOTE=thisispain;28378770]why haven't people erected statues for your virtue?
[editline]1st March 2011[/editline]
but seriously i'm glad you are picking that up maverick really appreciate it
[B]because it used to be me that they bothered with questions[/B] so once again thank you the pleasure is mine[/QUOTE]
i kind of agree actually
i was getting sick of answering every thread in LA with "ask her out" so when maverick started posting i was like "good now i'm just going to answer when ever i feel like it because some other newb think he's the shit"
Eeee my date was really lovely, seeing him again soon :)
-snip- the deed is done
[QUOTE=Foghorn;28381671]Eeee my date was really lovely, seeing him again soon :)[/QUOTE]
Remember to take it easy.
I understand why she has a bad mood [i]today[/i]. Her period has started. Meh, I hope that is the reason for her moodiness.
I am lonely.
Alright, more trouble with my libertine.
So we'r kinda really close fwiends, but I like her too much (I know this is mexican love stories stuff, but I just love the way she moves and looks and talks and shit). And it became pretty painful to talk with her as a friend because she just keeps making me feel worse (And her talking about she likes jizz on her face doesnt make things easier).
I know am probably being annoying, but I wonder what you guys think about this situation.
If you find it dumb feel free to say so. I do admit it is.
Deal with it.
Find a different girl to like.
I have been with this girl for 5 weeks now.
We have Skyped every single day for the past 5 weeks, for an average of 7hrs/day, and have been on many dates. We have gotten to the "I love you" part about 2 weeks after meeting, because after 2 weeks we have really spoken together and talked about deep topics for maybe 100 hours in skype voice time.
The girl is 18, and I am 21. She and I are very alike, yet different in a way, and it seems to be working out very very well. She is beautiful, smart, and a virgin. She has 3 best friends, and from what I hear they are very very close to each other.
I have spoken to her friends and I got the same feeling as well.
I met her friends a couple of days ago, and before I met them I sort of had my eye on this friend of hers'. This other girl is also smart, funny, a bit shy, a virgin, and in my opinion better looking than my girl and is noticeable shorter than I am (compared to my girl right now who is probably 1/16th of an inch shorter than I am). My girl is kinda fat, and this girl is actually very fit. My girl is white, and this girl is middle eastern like I am.
My dilemma here is that I am deeply in love with my girl, but I believe that love is just a physiological phenomena that keeps two people together so they can reproduce, and later the dopamine in your brain wears off and you're just friends with benefits that are married and sort of stick with it because of society, and because you love each other as best friends.
My dilemma is that this "after-phase" might be a bit rough with my girl because of her background (compared to mine). My girlfriend's friend is looking for a guy, and my gf and I met at this restaurant, and the friend mentioned that she is gonna start looking in that restaurant to see if she can "find a guy [like me]". I was thinking about being 100% honest with my gf and tell her how I feel. I kinda started last night, but she was on her period and very emotional, and I am kinda glad that I didn't tell her because right now I am not so sure of how everything will turn out.
Basically I love my gf, I know it'll eventually wear off, her friend is just like her and I feel like I will love her more than my gf based on her background and the way that she looks. Both of my gf and her friend are very smart and will be successful in the future, so either way financially I'm not going to be the only one bringing in the money either. I am thinking about rolling the dice and breaking up with my gf and hooking up with her close friend. I already started talking to my gf about how my mom told me that in the long run it would be better to be with a girl from my background, and that I agreed. So there is some sense of understanding.
I was also thinking about asking one of my gf's best friends (who is also best friends with the new girl that I like.. who is also best friends with my gf) about my issue, but not sure if it's such a great idea.
[QUOTE=collegegrad;28386107]She is beautiful, smart, and a virgin. She has 3 best friends
This other girl is also smart, funny, a bit shy, a virgin,[/QUOTE]
I am thinking foursome then leave. And why do you keep mentioning the virgin thing? I missed that.
[QUOTE=Phsykotik;28386212]I am thinking foursome then leave. And why do you keep mentioning the virgin thing? I missed that.[/QUOTE]
I'm a virgin, and in my culture you're supposed to marry a virgin.. or at least be the first to fuck one before you get married... not some other guy.
[QUOTE=collegegrad;28386629]I'm a virgin, and in my culture you're supposed to marry a virgin.. or at least be the first to fuck one before you get married... not some other guy.[/QUOTE]
:colbert:
It's not because you'r supposed to do something that you have to do it...
Very good advice. But I find two problems with it(nitpicking, rest assured)
1. OP was made only taking into account heterosexual males.
But from my experience, it's sort of the same in all cases anyway.
and 2. You said that it's best to ask out a person who you aren't friends with. Now, you might do it like that in Texas and maybe the entire USA, but here in Europe(can't speak for UK though) asking out a person who you aren't friends with is a bit... uncommon, to say the least. The way we do it over here is, we make good friends with the person and [B]then[/B] we try to decide whether that person makes a good boyfriend or girlfriend, or if heshe deserves to be thrown into life's legendary category "People I have on MSN that I haven't spoken to in years".
I was also going to mention more factors for point 2. but then I remembered that I forgot.
[QUOTE=kayOkay;28386867]:colbert:
It's not because you'r supposed to do something that you have to do it...[/QUOTE]
I know, but I feel as if it's a bonus for me now, since I gave up on finding a girl in America that is my age, attractive, and a virgin.
[QUOTE=collegegrad;28386107]I have been with this girl for 5 weeks now.
We have Skyped every single day for the past 5 weeks, for an average of 7hrs/day, and have been on many dates. We have gotten to the "I love you" part about 2 weeks after meeting, because after 2 weeks we have really spoken together and talked about deep topics for maybe 100 hours in skype voice time.
The girl is 18, and I am 21. She and I are very alike, yet different in a way, and it seems to be working out very very well. She is beautiful, smart, and a virgin. She has 3 best friends, and from what I hear they are very very close to each other.
I have spoken to her friends and I got the same feeling as well.
I met her friends a couple of days ago, and before I met them I sort of had my eye on this friend of hers'. This other girl is also smart, funny, a bit shy, a virgin, and in my opinion better looking than my girl and is noticeable shorter than I am (compared to my girl right now who is probably 1/16th of an inch shorter than I am). My girl is kinda fat, and this girl is actually very fit. My girl is white, and this girl is middle eastern like I am.
My dilemma here is that I am deeply in love with my girl, but I believe that love is just a physiological phenomena that keeps two people together so they can reproduce, and later the dopamine in your brain wears off and you're just friends with benefits that are married and sort of stick with it because of society, and because you love each other as best friends.
My dilemma is that this "after-phase" might be a bit rough with my girl because of her background (compared to mine). My girlfriend's friend is looking for a guy, and my gf and I met at this restaurant, and the friend mentioned that she is gonna start looking in that restaurant to see if she can "find a guy [like me]". I was thinking about being 100% honest with my gf and tell her how I feel. I kinda started last night, but she was on her period and very emotional, and I am kinda glad that I didn't tell her because right now I am not so sure of how everything will turn out.
Basically I love my gf, I know it'll eventually wear off, her friend is just like her and I feel like I will love her more than my gf based on her background and the way that she looks. Both of my gf and her friend are very smart and will be successful in the future, so either way financially I'm not going to be the only one bringing in the money either. I am thinking about rolling the dice and breaking up with my gf and hooking up with her close friend. I already started talking to my gf about how my mom told me that in the long run it would be better to be with a girl from my background, and that I agreed. So there is some sense of understanding.
I was also thinking about asking one of my gf's best friends (who is also best friends with the new girl that I like.. who is also best friends with my gf) about my issue, but not sure if it's such a great idea.[/QUOTE]
lol
[QUOTE=SaWAH;28387459]lol[/QUOTE]
This is no laughing matter.
:colbert:
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.