• Maverick's Love/Relationship/Social Advice Megathread
    3,562 replies, posted
Someone made a break-up guide in LA, but I never read it. Supposedly it was pretty good. If someone wants to write something up, I'll be happy to add it.
A love advice thread, with some real, non-bullshit advice. Wow, have a gold star mate.
[QUOTE=Anubis678;28240101]We've been dating for 10 months now, and she still gets upset with me because I apparently never open up to her. I mean, she has no problem listing off every fucking thing that went through her head on any given day, but I'm not like that, and she doesn't understand why. I've got pretty significant trust issues, and I'm not a big fan of letting people in. It just isn't how I do things, and I dunno how I would change that, or if I even want to. I'm like a fucking security vault, and that's just the way I do things. The problem is that I'm just too good at reading a person's reaction. I can tell exactly how someone feels about something I've said. If I've said something that you find stupid, inane, etc, it will be pretty much impossible for you to hide that from me. It makes socializing difficult, as I constantly analyze every aspect of the conversation. I feel like a sociopath from time to time. Socializing just seems like a chore to me, something I have to do every now and then to establish my presence, but not something I ever feel compelled to do. It is very strange...[/QUOTE] She should be alright with this. Endeavour for her to understand that you have barriers and trust issues that only crumble with time. She should understand and not press it. I'm like this in certain ways, depending on the situation I am in, different aspects of my personality are manifested. When I'm in a large group of acquaintances I am always very confident and witty, when I am with my good friends I am super super crazy and wild, when I am with my best friends and my girlfriend, I am calm, funny, but more reserved.
I've been dating a girl for 2 years now (harsh, I know) and I cannot figure her out for the life of me. After school today she mentioned how much her life "sucked" ever since she stopped partying/smoking, and that it left her with no hobbies. It sounded to me like she was blaming it on me, because she quit smoking when we started dating and she lost a lot of her friends when she began dating me. I don't think it was my fault, mostly because she closed out her friends to spend more time with me, and they got tired of it. They weren't what you would call "good friends" but they were pretty much the only friends she had. While I am partially to blame, I never once told her to stop seeing them, in fact I encouraged her to spend more time with them. Anyways, after she finished complaining about being bored all of the time, I told her to go out and party either tonight or this weekend and she said she didn't want to. I'm incredibly confused about this, mainly because she started complaining about never doing it, and once I tell her to, she says she doesn't want to...? What could possibly be the problem?
[QUOTE=MaverickIB;28242976]Opportunities rarely just happen, you have to make them. Find a way to catch up with her after class or something. Move to a closer seat. The chance to talk to her isn't going to just fall into your lap, you need to make it. Also, circumstances will never be perfect. You're not going to magically catch her when nobody else is around and you have all of the time in the world. Encounters are only as awkward as you make them, it all depends on you and how you behave. Here's what I would do in your situation. You don't have to do this or whatever, but it gives you an idea on what I mean by making an opportunity. I'd write my name and number down on a scrap of paper during class. When class ends and everyone gets up to leave, I'd approach her and say, "Hey, what's your name? I'm [your name here]." (I'm assuming you don't know her name) When she tells me her name, I'd hand her the piece of paper as I say, "Well [her name], you look like someone I'd like to get to know better, you should text/call me sometime." Then I'd wink/smile and walk away before she can really formulate a response. What this does is put the ball in her court and make your job easy. From then on, all you have to do is wait. If she never calls/texts you, then she's not interested. If she does, you chit chat a little bit, then ask her out. One of the good things about this approach is that it is unorthodox, which makes your chances of her remembering you much higher. Leaving before she can respond produces a feeling of mystery about you, she'll want to call/text you to find out who the hell you are and why your balls are so big, if for not other reason.[/QUOTE] Thank you for the information, I shall try it out. However we already know each others names.
[QUOTE=blerb;28244148]I've been dating a girl for 2 years now (harsh, I know) and I cannot figure her out for the life of me. After school today she mentioned how much her life "sucked" ever since she stopped partying/smoking, and that it left her with no hobbies. It sounded to me like she was blaming it on me, because she quit smoking when we started dating and she lost a lot of her friends when she began dating me. I don't think it was my fault, mostly because she closed out her friends to spend more time with me, and they got tired of it. They weren't what you would call "good friends" but they were pretty much the only friends she had. While I am partially to blame, I never once told her to stop seeing them, in fact I encouraged her to spend more time with them. Anyways, after she finished complaining about being bored all of the time, I told her to go out and party either tonight or this weekend and she said she didn't want to. I'm incredibly confused about this, mainly because she started complaining about never doing it, and once I tell her to, she says she doesn't want to...? What could possibly be the problem?[/QUOTE] If she was only complaining about it today, I say give it some time. She could just be in a bad mood that might last for a few days, but if it persists, you really need to just sit down and talk about it with her.
It's more "here and there". it's often enough that I'm questioning what exactly she's thinking. Talking about it ends with her thinking I'm trying to leave her. Trust me, she's a tough cookie. (Although it might be my dumb ass saying the wrong things, lol.)
Think I'll take a swing at this. Right, so Breakup! Never a good thing. Let's deal with the leadup to it first. Premonition. This can happen over days or weeks. Signs of it: The couple is becoming less communicative with each other, or getting pissed off over the smallest things, or one of you will sense that something is seriously wrong and will try fix it. If you're in this stage, don't do anything too stupid if you want to fix it ie you decide to cheat if you think your other half is screwing the pool boy. Man up, sit down and talk about your feelings calmly and rationally. Sometimes this is all is needed to fix it, but otherwise you'd best prepare yourself for what's going to happen next. Stage 2: The actual breakup. Whether you're the dumper or the dumpee, it's never pleasent. All you can do is make it go as easy as possible, after all it's happening, may as well get it done with. IF you're getting dumped, feel free to ask questions once it has happened eg what point made you decide this relationship wasn't worth it? What can I do next time to avoid this? Now, you need to get the hell out of dodge kid. Sever with this person and don't take them up on a offer of being friends if given, it's crap and it always turns into a complete mess. You need alone time away from them. Stage 3: It's over. It hurts like hell right now, it sucks but we all go through it so if a guy with a cute pyro avatar can do it, you can too. Stop all contact with your ex, this includes phone numbers, MSN, email addresses, OH... FACEBOOK: delete and block them, you know for a fact that you'll try check their page out to see how they're doing, seeing how emotionally hurt they are... you'll just hurt yourself and stop your moving on phase when you see your ex now chatting up the pool boy on her page. For the love of god, don't talk to her/his friends, they're hers/his, not yours. In fact just don't hang out with them at all. You feel sad, of course you do. Don't let it get to you for the entire day though. Go out, do something, start a new hobby like fishing, go hang out with YOUR friends. When I got broke up with a long time ago, I remember telling myself I could be sad and mope about for 10 minutes, but then go walk for a while. I wanted to cry some more but realised as the days went by that it actually helped me so much more than wallowing in self pity forever. My final point for now, it's been 6 months since the break up, you think you're doing well champ! Well done! And then you see your ex. Suddenly the old feelings come back. And it's gonna hurt like hell again, but just remember you're a much better person than they are and you are moving on. This will happen a lot, but just like your sad phase at the start, it gets smaller and smaller... Apologys if this advice sucks, folks.
Maverick is a bit caustic at times, but the dude's got some really great advice. Asking women out was one of the only things I was ever very shy about. I'd spend so long nursing a crush that it'd become impossible for me to act on it, and the end-result was always just me finally spilling my guts about my feelings. Obviously this led to crushing disappointment and feeling terrible about the whole situation. I had to start figuring out the advice Maverick is giving the hard way. I wish I'd had somebody like him to steer me right years ago! And playing the assets of your personality works really well! I was always trying to be the kind of person I thought women wanted, but I found out that I'm best at just being the big, naive, goofy dork from the suburbs that I've always been.
I'm having a hard time getting over this one girl, after I took her to our Home Coming(Officially just "Up and coming", no seniors to welcome back) dance, she completely stopped talking to me out of the blue. And for two months I just tried to get over it. Then randomly we started talking again, but half the time we do, she's completely shy, even ignoring me, then the next she'll be playfully bumping into me. I don't know what the heck to do, I don't want to shut her out of my life if she's going to be talking to me, but I can't stand how I could flip a coin to see if she'll ignore me or play along. What should I do, aaa
[QUOTE=MaverickIB;28236712]I didn't. Typed this shit up from scratch. Hell, I skipped my World Geography class to make this thread. LA was my Sistine Chapel and Garry destroyed it after I put in a year and a half of hard work on it.[/QUOTE] I don't understand why they treat you like a god you're just a jock that knows his shit, is all
[QUOTE=FunTykoon;28245079]I don't understand why they treat you like a god you're just a jock that knows his shit, is all[/QUOTE] He's well-liked because he's able to take that shit he knows and present in a simple and straightforward way that everybody can identify with. He can break a seemingly complex issue into bite-sized fragments of easily digestible information with a pleasant aftertaste of rose-colored enlightenment.
Because he helps out a lot of people with great advice and he isn't wimpy about it either. His advice gets the point across. ^ What he said.
[QUOTE=Rooster Assassin;28244998]I'm having a hard time getting over this one girl, after I took her to our Home Coming(Officially just "Up and coming", no seniors to welcome back) dance, she completely stopped talking to me out of the blue. And for two months I just tried to get over it. Then randomly we started talking again, but half the time we do, she's completely shy, even ignoring me, then the next she'll be playfully bumping into me. I don't know what the heck to do, I don't want to shut her out of my life if she's going to be talking to me, but I can't stand how I could flip a coin to see if she'll ignore me or play along. What should I do, aaa[/QUOTE] My 2 cents:- 2 options: 1) Talk to her to see where you stand, chances are you will still be friends or more afterwards depending on her answer. You could well find there is another reason she is acting like this, family stuff or something. At least you will know. 2) Shut her out, she seems to be messing you around so if she isn't worth it just find someone else.
Nice OP but you should add some stuff on attracting girls. It's not hard to ask girls out but there are always things you can do to increase your chances with that girl that's out of your league. Also a bit of cold truth: if you're good looking and have money you can have pretty much any girl you like.
I'm surprised they got rid of LA and all the other topic-related boards, but this thread should easily provide as the optimal alternative. Awesome introductory OP and great thread.
So I finally figured out how to get a girlfriend, which I did, but now I can't practice all of the awesome stuff I learned.
Rate agree if you think MaverickIB should guest star on Oprah :buddy:
[QUOTE=Rooster Assassin;28244998]I'm having a hard time getting over this one girl, after I took her to our Home Coming(Officially just "Up and coming", no seniors to welcome back) dance, she completely stopped talking to me out of the blue. And for two months I just tried to get over it. Then randomly we started talking again, but half the time we do, she's completely shy, even ignoring me, then the next she'll be playfully bumping into me. I don't know what the heck to do, I don't want to shut her out of my life if she's going to be talking to me, but I can't stand how I could flip a coin to see if she'll ignore me or play along. What should I do, aaa[/QUOTE] She sounds like one of those "I like you but it's complicated" girls. I don't have any patience for those kind of games. I'm not looking for some Ross and Rachel relationship filled with the kind of drama that many high school girls and young women seem to perpetrate. If she's the one trying to make it awkward, let her make it awkward by herself. That's what I'd do, anyway. :iiam:
i shall devote my life to serving the aspie kingdom and its king, maverick
I wasn't posting in LA at all, but I read quite few topics,and whenever Maverick says stuff I get out my noteblock and write down erry line, I believe that this guy talks the truth. The TRUTH, SON. HE'S DA FUCKIN MESSIAH. No seriously, awesome thread dude.
[QUOTE=Rooster Assassin;28244998]I'm having a hard time getting over this one girl, after I took her to our Home Coming(Officially just "Up and coming", no seniors to welcome back) dance, she completely stopped talking to me out of the blue. And for two months I just tried to get over it. Then randomly we started talking again, but half the time we do, she's completely shy, even ignoring me, then the next she'll be playfully bumping into me. I don't know what the heck to do, I don't want to shut her out of my life if she's going to be talking to me, but I can't stand how I could flip a coin to see if she'll ignore me or play along. What should I do, aaa[/QUOTE] She can't make up her mind, so you'll have to make up yours: balls up and ask her out or walk away.
[QUOTE=FunTykoon;28245079]I don't understand why they treat you like a god you're just a jock that knows his shit, is all[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=FunTykoon;28245079]you're just a jock that knows his shit, is all[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=FunTykoon;28245079]just a jock that knows his shit[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=FunTykoon;28245079]knows his shit[/QUOTE] And that, sir, is why he is respected by his community.
[QUOTE=Anubis678;28245997]And that, sir, is why he is respected by his community.[/QUOTE] The fact he is willing to help goes a long way towards it as well, anyone willing to help other members for no real personal gain is always treated well.
i respect him because he's a fucking riot i actually wanna have a drink with him on a friday in a crowded pub in fact i just want a drink really
To add to the overanswering of FunTykoon's comment: I may not have always agreed with Maverick while lurking the LA forum over the past year, but he does tend to give good, solid advice. He also has this weird quality of being one of the precious few who even has a clue what he's talking about. The reason I still have so few posts? He always answered every thread with whatever I would have said plus more. Also his posts are entertaining to read. ...as should be the coming posts should be now that we're in GD.
[QUOTE=knifer21;28244756]Think I'll take a swing at this. Right, so Breakup! Never a good thing. -break-up stuff- Apologys if this advice sucks, folks.[/QUOTE] I disagree with this completely. It isn't the only way to take a break-up.
There's only one problem for me. In french, there's no way to ask "wanna go out?". It'll always end up either sounding as "wanna hang out" or "wanna go to the club".
[QUOTE=Xeon06;28247407]There's only one problem for me. In french, there's no way to ask "wanna go out?". It'll always end up either sounding as "wanna hang out" or "wanna go to the club".[/QUOTE] I always have the opposite problem, really struggling finding easy ways to ask a girl out for a drink as a friend without it sounding weird.
I made a girl think she liked me so she would go on a date with me, we ended up dating for 4 months before I just disappeared from her life. I'm not one for relationships.
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