Maverick, give hints on what-do. Life specs:
Living in less than 3000 people town, where I know everybody in it and have categorized people into friends/stupids/familiars/rats & and old people.
No chance for a relationship, blew my chances and the rest are taken.
[QUOTE=baqua;28533402]Quit blaming all of you're social problems on a fake condition.[/QUOTE]
You don't have to live with it. Every social thing, I have to think, over rather than it being natural and often I get it wrong, I have plenty of social experience, I don't use it as an excuse to stay inside 24/7 it just means that I have trouble keeping on good terms with everyone and I have had huge problems with being bullied, and while it has stopped now, idiots still bring up their ugly heads and make my life even more difficult.
I'm not blaming everything on it, it just makes everything more difficult, it is a multiplier effect, and while I try to work around it, it isn't easy.
[editline]12th March 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=MaverickIB;28556060]It won't be awkward because she won't outright reject you, she'll just give you an excuse. Just pretend like you believe the excuse and viola, crisis averted.
On a completely unrelated note, due to fucking video games, I initially type crisis as "crysis" every time I want to use the word. Thank fucking god for spellchecker on firefox.[/QUOTE]
I asked a girl out (nervously), and it is awkward between us, It depends on the maturaty of the girl and her friends.
The guy I've been dating has invited me round on Wednesday - I'm gonna meet him family :|
[QUOTE=Kingy_why;28563447]You don't have to live with it. Every social thing, I have to think, over rather than it being natural and often I get it wrong, I have plenty of social experience, I don't use it as an excuse to stay inside 24/7 it just means that I have trouble keeping on good terms with everyone and I have had huge problems with being bullied, and while it has stopped now, idiots still bring up their ugly heads and make my life even more difficult.
I'm not blaming everything on it, it just makes everything more difficult, it is a multiplier effect, and while I try to work around it, it isn't easy.[/QUOTE]
This being anecdotal evidence, I can't say that it speaks for you, but as I grew up I became painfully aware that I was socially retarded. I had to learn everything the hard way. The thing to do in this case is, as they say, LURK MOAR. Hang out with people and try to observe how it all works. Everyone has their quirks that make them unique and likable. My friends say I have a knack for storytelling and that's what really seems to endear me to people. You just need to find your thing.
I'll also say this, it gets a lot better once you get out of high school. People start to open their minds a bit as they mature and become more accepting of things that once bothered them. Like one comic I saw about how pokemon was cool when you're a kid, then it's shameful in high school, and then it's cool again in college. In high school, everyone is trying so hard to be adults that they forget to be kids. Don't let that crap bother you... and take your time growing up. Don't rush it.
[QUOTE=FlakAttack;28563864]This being anecdotal evidence, I can't say that it speaks for you, but as I grew up I became painfully aware that I was socially retarded. I had to learn everything the hard way. The thing to do in this case is, as they say, LURK MOAR. Hang out with people and try to observe how it all works. Everyone has their quirks that make them unique and likable. My friends say I have a knack for storytelling and that's what really seems to endear me to people. You just need to find your thing.
I'll also say this, it gets a lot better once you get out of high school. People start to open their minds a bit as they mature and become more accepting of things that once bothered them. Like one comic I saw about how pokemon was cool when you're a kid, then it's shameful in high school, and then it's cool again in college. In high school, everyone is trying so hard to be adults that they forget to be kids. Don't let that crap bother you... and take your time growing up. Don't rush it.[/QUOTE]
Unfortunately I didn't know I had aspergers till reliantly, because some shitty doctor assumed I didn't have it because I did well in a academic test.
[editline]12th March 2011[/editline]
So I have been making loads of social mistakes, and I'm almost normal socially, but I'm no maveric.
[QUOTE=Kingy_why;28563945]Unfortunately I didn't know I had aspergers till reliantly, because some shitty doctor assumed I didn't have it because I did well in a academic test.
[editline]12th March 2011[/editline]
So I have been making loads of social mistakes, and I'm almost normal socially, but I'm no maveric.[/QUOTE]
Just don't be like the guy who comes by and repeats everything we say like a parrot and stuffs his hand down his pants in public. I try really hard to be tolerant and I try to explain to him why he shouldn't do it, and he just gets angry with me.
I imagine you are nowhere near that bad.
[QUOTE=Foghorn;28563575]The guy I've been dating has invited me round on Wednesday - I'm gonna meet him family :|[/QUOTE]
Bad idea, ahoy.
People that are just dating don't meet each other's family.
[QUOTE=FlakAttack;28564062]Just don't be like the guy who comes by and repeats everything we say like a parrot and stuffs his hand down his pants in public. I try really hard to be tolerant and I try to explain to him why he shouldn't do it, and he just gets angry with me.
I imagine you are nowhere near that bad.[/QUOTE]
I was, when I was like 6. I don't have it as bad as some people with it, but I have gone through stages when I was really weird, and not in the acceptable way.
[QUOTE=Dark_Light;28558966]You're being defensive.[/QUOTE]
I literally fell out of my chair laughing at this.
[QUOTE=Fedly;28563203]Maverick, give hints on what-do. Life specs:
Living in less than 3000 people town, where I know everybody in it and have categorized people into friends/stupids/familiars/rats & and old people.
No chance for a relationship, blew my chances and the rest are taken.[/QUOTE]
repost
fucking shit, this must really be nearing the end. fuck..FUCK!!
[QUOTE=Fedly;28566069]repost[/QUOTE]
Are there any near-by towns that are easy to get to?
I received a girls number at a restraunt last night, what is the proper procedure for that situation.
[QUOTE=Fedly;28566069]repost[/QUOTE]
I seriously doubt you know everyone.
I'm willing to bet that you're judging a lot of people before giving them a chance.
Regardless, either branch out to neighboring towns via social networking or go for girls that are taken. Just because there's a goalie doesn't mean you can't score.
[QUOTE=FlapadarV2;28560031]or it's a guy and he's 35 years older than you and he's the predator.[/QUOTE]
Talked with her on the phone, meeting her for lunch now.
We'll see how things go.
[QUOTE=Foghorn;28563575]The guy I've been dating has invited me round on Wednesday - I'm gonna meet him family :|[/QUOTE]
family is also a euthamism
[editline]12th March 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=Psychopath12;28566979]Talked with her on the phone, meeting her for lunch now.
We'll see how things go.[/QUOTE]
Make sure to remember your rape whistle
[QUOTE=Occlusion;28567296]family is also a euthamism
[editline]12th March 2011[/editline]
Make sure to remember your rape whistle[/QUOTE]
"euthamism"
"Euthanasia" + "Euphemism"
[QUOTE=JohnnyNapalm007;28567438]"euthamism"
"Euthanasia" + "Euphemism"[/QUOTE]
yea i meant that his family is going to euthanise her, that's obviously what i meant and anyone who says otherwise is a heathen and a liar
Update on my situation:
Decided to stop having sex with my ex completely, not going to even spend time with her. If I want to start seeing her as only a friend and nothing more, then I need to start treating her like one.
I know, this is fucking obvious and you've all probably said/thought this already, but I finally figured this for myself.
Basically we finish school early on Tuesdays and we'd always hang out in that afternoon, smoking weed and having sex, and just enjoying each others' company. This only ever happens every second week because I have extension classes on one of the weeks. I always look forward to these Tuesdays because I like spending them with her, but it turns out this week she's seeing some fucking sleeze that goes to another school, and smoking together as well.
I hate this feeling of being made only an option for her, when I'm always looking forward to spending time with her and basically keeping her as a priority, so fuck that I'm not letting her use me like that anymore.
I'm not fine, I can't keep trying to convince myself I am.
I'm not going back to her, ever. I should have listened to logic, and all of the friends that told me it wasn't a good idea, eugh. It was fucking naive of me to think I could just keep having sex with someone I still really care about and not expect to get hurt when I realize, again, that she doesn't feel the same.
Go ahead, everyone throw your best "I told you so" at me.
[QUOTE=Dark_Light;28575021]Update on my situation:
Decided to stop having sex with my ex completely, not going to even spend time with her. If I want to start seeing her as only a friend and nothing more, then I need to start treating her like one.
I know, this is fucking obvious and you've all probably said/thought this already, but I finally figured this for myself.
Basically we finish school early on Tuesdays and we'd always hang out in that afternoon, smoking weed and having sex, and just enjoying each others' company. This only ever happens every second week because I have extension classes on one of the weeks. I always look forward to these Tuesdays because I like spending them with her, but it turns out this week she's seeing some fucking sleeze that goes to another school, and smoking together as well.
I hate this feeling of being made only an option for her, when I'm always looking forward to spending time with her and basically keeping her as a priority, so fuck that I'm not letting her use me like that anymore.
I'm not fine, I can't keep trying to convince myself I am.
I'm not going back to her, ever. I should have listened to logic, and all of the friends that told me it wasn't a good idea, eugh. It was fucking naive of me to think I could just keep having sex with someone I still really care about and not expect to get hurt when I realize, again, that she doesn't feel the same.
Go ahead, everyone throw your best "I told you so" at me.[/QUOTE]
I am not going to lie.
I was on steam voice chat with a friend, and i read THIS WHOLE post in a dramatic fashion.
(yes I know, im a dick)
okay
[QUOTE=thisispain;28575689]okay[/QUOTE]
I know, EXACTLY what you said.
FUCK I feel like an idiot.
So about a month ago I started talking to this super cute girl (she's 17, I'm 18) and we got to hang out (just the two of us) a couple of times and everything went pretty well. She's really cool and we have a lot in common, and I've made it pretty apparent that I'm interested in her. She seems to be showing signs of interest in me, as well.
However, in the last couple of weeks we haven't really spent any time together. I found out that her dad is fucking crazy and she's pretty much been on lockdown. She has only been living with him for a little over 3 months (she just moved from Alaska) and I guess they're just not used to each other. She's doing just fine in school (straight B's) but her dad thinks she's slacking, and in turn, is punishing her for it. She's been working her ass off to get her grades up, but her dad just isn't satisfied. The other day I was talking to the girl and she almost busted out crying because her dad spent the bulk of the previous night screaming at her due to her "poor" performance. She hasn't really been able to leave her house in the last few weeks (not even to play a sport for school, her dad won't let her). I can hardly talk to her because she can't talk or text during certain hours of the day (and her dad took her phone away about a week ago). She then got caught smoking pot the other night (her own damn fault, even if I gave her the pot) and she's in even more trouble.
Her dad decided to get therapy (for himself, until he can figure his own daughter out), but he's going to make her pay for every session (about $100 per, but she doesn't have any source of income ATM). Is it me, or is this guy crazy? Hopefully this therapy shit will make him realize what a prick he's being.
I feel really selfish for complaining, but it really sucks not being able to spend time with her or even talk to her outside of the one class we have together during school (in which I don't get to talk to her often). It's driving me nuts because I really like her, but I feel like there's nothing I can do to build a relationship with her.
Is there anything I can do, and if so, what?
[QUOTE=culexor;28576113]So about a month ago I started talking to this super cute girl (she's 17, I'm 18) and we got to hang out (just the two of us) a couple of times and everything went pretty well. She's really cool and we have a lot in common, and I've made it pretty apparent that I'm interested in her. She seems to be showing signs of interest in me, as well.
However, in the last couple of weeks we haven't really spent any time together. I found out that her dad is fucking crazy and she's pretty much been on lockdown. She has only been living with him for a little over 3 months (she just moved from Alaska) and I guess they're just not used to each other. She's doing just fine in school (straight B's) but her dad thinks she's slacking, and in turn, is punishing her for it. She's been working her ass off to get her grades up, but her dad just isn't satisfied. The other day I was talking to the girl and she almost busted out crying because her dad spent the bulk of the previous night screaming at her due to her "poor" performance. She hasn't really been able to leave her house in the last few weeks (not even to play a sport for school, her dad won't let her). I can hardly talk to her because she can't talk or text during certain hours of the day (and her dad took her phone away about a week ago). She then got caught smoking pot the other night (her own damn fault, even if I gave her the pot) and she's in even more trouble.
Her dad decided to get therapy (for himself, until he can figure his own daughter out), but he's going to make her pay for every session (about $100 per, but she doesn't have any source of income ATM). Is it me, or is this guy crazy? Hopefully this therapy shit will make him realize what a prick he's being.
I feel really selfish for complaining, but it really sucks not being able to spend time with her or even talk to her outside of the one class we have together during school (in which I don't get to talk to her often). It's driving me nuts because I really like her, but I feel like there's nothing I can do to build a relationship with her.
Is there anything I can do, and if so, what?[/QUOTE]
to be honest either A) report to Child Protection Service or B) let them figure it out.
Also all the more reasons to not have a daughter so i don't fuck her up.
Yeah that father sounds fucking insane. Getting her to pay for his therapy? That's just fucked.
I am not one to go to a forum and ask an online community for relationship advice... usually. The last time I ever did this is when I was about twelve years old or something.
Anyway I've been in a relationship with this girl for about five and a half months. I'll start off with some basic information: We're both in year 12 of high school. There's no sex (We both believe in marriage then sex ). Her parents are strict. We're both going to different colleges. I'm on good terms with her friends. It's her first relationship, this is my third relationship.
I need advice on what route to go with this girl. This girl talks of being together for life ( not particularly marriage ever ). What really bothers me about this relationship is that she has no problem conversing to her friends but can never bring up a conversation with me, so I'm the one who always has to carry a conversation or start one. I've talked to her about this and she said she'd try to be more social with me, but no progress has been made. When her friends are around and I'm with her, she completely ignores me to walk off and talk with her friends, even when we're in the middle of a conversation ourselves. Long story short, she does a lot of things that annoy the shit out of me, sometimes she just makes me feel like a best friend instead of her boyfriend.
On the flip side, this is her first relationship and I don't want to break her heart. She's a really nice, talented, and smart girl who is not a slut like most girls.
I don't know how to handle the whole situation, whenever I try to talk to her about the things that bother me she acknowledges me but forgets it completely later.
Advice please.
You're going to break her heart eventually. Cut your (and her) losses.
[QUOTE=Dark_Light;28576201]You're going to break her heart eventually. Cut your (and her) losses.[/QUOTE]
What makes you say this?
[QUOTE=seano12;28576187]I am not one to go to a forum and ask an online community for relationship advice... usually. The last time I ever did this is when I was about twelve years old or something.
Anyway I've been in a relationship with this girl for about five and a half months. I'll start off with some basic information: We're both in year 12 of high school. There's no sex (We both believe in marriage then sex ). Her parents are strict. We're both going to different colleges. I'm on good terms with her friends. It's her first relationship, this is my third relationship.
I need advice on what route to go with this girl. This girl talks of being together for life ( not particularly marriage ever ). What really bothers me about this relationship is that she has no problem conversing to her friends but can never bring up a conversation with me, so I'm the one who always has to carry a conversation or start one. I've talked to her about this and she said she'd try to be more social with me, but no progress has been made. When her friends are around and I'm with her, she completely ignores me to walk off and talk with her friends, even when we're in the middle of a conversation ourselves. Long story short, she does a lot of things that annoy the shit out of me, sometimes she just makes me feel like a best friend instead of her boyfriend.
On the flip side, this is her first relationship and I don't want to break her heart. She's a really nice, talented, and smart girl who is not a slut like most girls.
I don't know how to handle the whole situation, whenever I try to talk to her about the things that bother me she acknowledges me but forgets it completely later.
Advice please.[/QUOTE]
might be the fact she still has some child left in her, most women will mature the fuck up in college or later. highschool chicks in general might seem mature but they aren't mature in a sense of a educated woman.
Not even 6 months has passed and you're already noticing things which bother you. Perhaps she needs more time to get used to it and will eventually open herself up to you, but by the sounds of it she is just happy that she has a boyfriend. It's unlikely she is going to suddenly change and start becoming more like what you want, you're always going to be expecting more from her, and going to separate colleges is only going to increase the distance between you two, both physically and emotionally.
It is her first relationship, it is expected for her to want to stay with you 'forever' and all of that. You're what, 16-17, and have been together for not even half a year, and she's talking of marriage? This sounds pretty typical to me.
Besides, everything else aside, do you think you're going to be with her forever, like really? If not, then breaking up with her earlier than later is only going to make it hurt less, for both of you.
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