• Maverick's Love/Relationship/Social Advice Megathread
    3,562 replies, posted
Shy people will have a hard time asking people out, but if they're asked out it's not like they'll be too shy to answer. They'll still say yes if interested or no if not. Also I find setting a specific time and date to ask someone out will just make me incredibly nervous as I approach it, and afterwords when I dont do it, I will feel worse. It's better (at least for me) to just not think about it, and if the thought crosses my mind when I happen to be with them, I'll just ask.
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;29041486]No. She's not interested. You're just trying not to accept this by tacking on meaningless details and convincing yourself you are the center of her life.[/QUOTE] Good. I thought I was looking into it too much as well, I just needed someone else to point that out to me objectively.
I've got a crush on a girl I talk to from time to time. I met her at a barbeque about 2 years ago, and we exchanged hotmails and talked every day for about a month. Then it kind of died out, until just recently when she started talking to me again. I really like her, but I know nothing about her friends, but I do know that she's a really artsy person (which is cool, I like artsy) and we share a lot of interest. Should I get to know her and her friendlies more before I ask her out? Also, because of my friendliness, I think I'm moving slowly towards the friend zone, though I think she is interested in me too.
Ask her out.
Ask. Her. Out.
Maybe. I. Will. :colbert:
G o o d :colbert:
L O S E R
[QUOTE=.Cheezy.;29051879] You could have left the "which is most likely happen part" out though. Sounds like you're trying to create a possible excuse for yourself. Just remember, if you don't do it for whatever reason, you will be a [b]big[/b] pussy. ;)[/QUOTE] Why would I try to make an excuse for myself? If I don't ask her it's my own fault, if I don't see her I won't need an excuse. Just doesn't make much sense to me, but I guess it's not unheard of for people to cover up the fact that they didn't have the balls to ask.
Why do so many people seem to think that friend-zone is some inescapable pit of despair? My view of it is that it bottoms out, so if you missed the initial easy point of asking a girl out when you first meet her, it becomes easy again once you're close friends with her.
The friend zone doesn't exist. Technically, the friend zone is defined as inescapable, that's what makes it the friend zone. Once you're in, you're never getting out. However, it's always possible to change a girl's mind, it just takes a lot of effort, skill, and mostly luck. Therefore, the friend zone does not exist.
The only girl I'm interested in has a boyfriend of over a year, and I highly doubt they're going to break up soon. Any advice for this situation?
[QUOTE=MaverickIB;29065617]The friend zone doesn't exist. Technically, the friend zone is defined as inescapable, that's what makes it the friend zone. Once you're in, you're never getting out. However, it's always possible to change a girl's mind, it just takes a lot of effort, skill, and mostly luck. Therefore, the friend zone does not exist.[/QUOTE] I think the theory of the friend zone is sort of realistic if it's taken to mean that girls will automatically put a guy out of mind romance-wise once they become friends. I know I have girl friends who I wouldn't even consider as romantic possibilities. I don't believe however that this is a permanent thing; I agree that a mind can be easily changed. Honestly, I've never had a girlfriend who I wasn't at least somewhat friends with first, my two most recent were very good friends before we went out. [editline]9th April 2011[/editline] [QUOTE=Apache249;29065679]The only girl I'm interested in has a boyfriend of over a year, and I highly doubt they're going to break up soon. Any advice for this situation?[/QUOTE] Move on unless you want to be a prick and break them up for your own benefit. Easiest way to move on is to find some other girl and get to know her better.
[QUOTE=Mlisen14;29065927]Move on unless you want to be a prick and break them up for your own benefit. Easiest way to move on is to find some other girl and get to know her better.[/QUOTE] I don't want to move on, but it looks like I might have no choice but to do so, for she hates our school. :smith:
Got asked on 2 dates by 2 different girls over the past 2 weeks. Feels good man. I need to stop saying 2.
[QUOTE=Lukeo;29068709]Got asked on 2 dates by 2 different girls over the past 2 weeks. Feels good man. I need to stop saying 2.[/QUOTE] Way to go playah.
[QUOTE=Apache249;29065679]The only girl I'm interested in has a boyfriend of over a year, and I highly doubt they're going to break up soon. Any advice for this situation?[/QUOTE] Either let it go or break them up. Probably best off with letting it go, because trying to break them up is an all-in type of situation. If it works, you win everything, if it doesn't, you lose everything. So just stick with being/becoming her friend and hope for the best. However, you should find other girls to pursue in the meantime, it'd be stupid to hold out waiting for this one girl to break up.
[QUOTE=MaverickIB;29075605]Either let it go or break them up. Probably best off with letting it go, because trying to break them up is an all-in type of situation. If it works, you win everything, if it doesn't, you lose everything. So just stick with being/becoming her friend and hope for the best. However, you should find other girls to pursue in the meantime, it'd be stupid to hold out waiting for this one girl to break up.[/QUOTE] As unfortunate as it is, you're probably right. [editline]yes[/editline] Fuck you, pal.
the girl ive been good friends with for a long time, and the same person ive had a liking too for a long time, told me today shes going to be dating a guy soon. Kinda my fault that dude isn't me. Kinda sad though but not for the obvious reasons mainly now all my good/close friends are tied up in relationships= shit house position. [sp] yes i know im a tit [/sp]
I'm in the same situation c'ept i don't fancy the chick. Just feel's bad man having all of your mates in a relationship.
Out of curiosity, does anywhere here try to be particularly romantic to your GF? Let me clarify, proactive steps in that direction.
[QUOTE=Mlisen14;29065530]Why do so many people seem to think that friend-zone is some inescapable pit of despair? My view of it is that it bottoms out, so if you missed the initial easy point of asking a girl out when you first meet her, it becomes easy again once you're close friends with her.[/QUOTE] Well, actually, it's not easy at all to date a close friend (most of the time)... it's pretty fucking hard to pull off. Just not impossible. You end up in the friend zone by giving away too much of yourself and not getting anything in return. Girl wants to dump problems on you? Well, she's gonna have to do it over coffee, and then you guys are going to watch a movie or go to your place or something. You can't give of yourself for free and not expect a girl to take advantage of it. However, in rare occasions, you'll end up in this sort of semi-friend zone, where you both know you like each other but are not in a position to do anything about it (usually because one of you is taken). If this happens, your best bet is to simply walk away and come back to it if the situation allows.
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZNxJ5Ib3IQ&lc=ZV4MGrcoUzRNdrVGmEG8alqAjqDADz2x8ujHCCE1PhA&feature=inbox[/media] Old video of mine thought id share with you guys this clips about 2 years old i changed a lot during the process
The only girl I was interested in is with a hipster.
[QUOTE=zzzZZZZ;29077482]The only girl I was interested in is with a hipster.[/QUOTE] Tell him girlfriends are mainstream, he'll ditch her in an instant.
theres something about me, that makes me unappealing in a romantic sense. and i can't figure it out. I have confidence, I wasn't hit with the ugly stick or anything. nor am i a social outcast. I just look sickly cause of my weight but i mean i can't imagine that is what makes me so unappealing.
Im such a freaking idiot. I passed up the perfect chance conversation with that chick. I was going to ask her out to go have some coffee and Im pretty sure she would have said yes. But I just said hello as I walked by. i dont know why, I just did. and now im pissed at myself. I can stand across the street from a gun fight and be laughing at jokes....but I can't do this stuff without nervously seizing up? What is wrong with me....
Nothing at all, stfu and just do it next time.
I was pretty pissed earlier. Now thanks to a punching bag Im good and calm. I have decided to stop being a little pussy and just ask her out Tuesday.
If that got you so pissed off that you needed to punch something to calm down, I think you got some other issues that need addressing before worrying about asking girls out.
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