• Maverick's Love/Relationship/Social Advice Megathread
    3,562 replies, posted
What would your advice be if a friend of mine (whom I'm interested in) were to break up with her current boyfriend? (quite a big if) [list]How long would you wait to ask her out? They've broken up before, then got back together after 2 months, so I don't think waiting too long would be good.[/list] [list]Should I have anything to do with the breakup, as in, try and comfort her or help her make it as smooth as possible (using advice from here)? What if she comes to me asking for help, should I try and politely turn the conversation away, or try and ignore it?[/list]
Sort of interested in a girl, not sure if I should act on it seeing as we share a few classes (in one of them we are pretty much the only people her and I talk to).
What, so are you scared she won't speak to you any more if she isn't interested? I can't make sense of what's in the brackets either.
[QUOTE=Faren;29373633]Sort of interested in a girl, not sure if I should act on it seeing as we share a few classes (in one of them we are pretty much the only people her and I talk to).[/QUOTE] Nah, asking her out will most likely not destroy your relations with her. If you get rejected, just act cool.
What I meant in the brackets was that in one of our shared classes, we don't talk to anyone but one another. My fear is that if we ended up in some situation where my best course of action would be to go no-contact (e.g. a break up where one of us still has a thing for the other) then it could get a bit iffy. She's got a boyfriend at the moment and he's a pretty nice guy, too.
He means in one class they only speak to each other. It won't be awkward if you don't make a deal out of it. You're not going to be telling her you have feelings for her or anything, you can just ask her out. If you treat it lightly and casually, a rejection won't be awkward or damaging at all. @Mort and Charon, I'm assuming you're already a close friend of hers and that you've been waiting on her to be single for a while now? If so, you've already gotten yourself into a pretty shitty situation. You definitely don't want to have anything to do with the breakup. If you comfort her and all that, she'll very quickly start looking to you as a friend. If she does try talk to you about it, then you can be supportive and helpful but don't go over the top. Don't give her any of that "I'm always here for you" etc, and for the most part ignore the topic altogether. How long were they together before they broke up? You should probably wait a short while just for her to recover if she's really distraught, but you can take her out whenever after that. You're not asking her to be your girlfriend, you're just going out as just the two of you to hang out and have fun.
I should've made it clearer: Her and I are friends and have been for a while. [editline]24th April 2011[/editline] Dark_Light, you miss the point. Reread my second post?
[QUOTE=Faren;29374664]What I meant in the brackets was that in one of our shared classes, we don't talk to anyone but one another. My fear is that if we ended up in some situation where my best course of action would be to go no-contact (e.g. a break up where one of us still has a thing for the other) then it could get a bit iffy. She's got a boyfriend at the moment and he's a pretty nice guy, too.[/QUOTE] Oh, right. Well yeah I share classes with my ex, it was definitely uncomfortable at first. We sat next to each other in one class and I still remember the lesson together on the day after we broke up. It's fucking awkward but it won't kill you. We're friends now so it's all good anyway. And besides, aren't you looking a bit too far ahead? She's just a girl in your class and you're already worried about if you had to go no contact with her, if you broke up with her. Worry about if you're even going to be dating her in the first place xP.
Reason I'm looking so far ahead is because I've known her for a while compared to most of the people I've been out with. Anyway, thanks everybody.
I've known her for just under a year, but only become close friends the last 3/4 months. She tells me quite a lot and comes to me for advice, even ends up sending me texts intended for her boyfriend quite a lot. I can see how it's a kind of crap situation, but as far as I'm aware, with her current boyfriend it was a "friends that grew into more" situation. They've been together two years, not including the break-up time they had. It was during the summer last year they broke up, in-between me meeting her and getting back in touch (I was so pissed off when I found this out). it was mainly over his parents hating her for some unknown reason, and it seems for a while a truce has been called, i don't know if it could all happen again though. And yeah, we've been out on what everybody else thought was "dates" but it was just friends having fun. [editline]23rd April 2011[/editline] And just for clarification; they are still together at the moment, I'm just thinking about what could happen in the future. She will go to a different school/college as her boyfriend next year, and from what she was saying it sounds like it might be difficult for them in the future.
Anyone else been in the situation where you're friends with two people and then they break up and hate each other? I was at the pub yesterday and on one side was the girl who i'm friends with, and on the other side the group of guys who are mates, but whenever i went back and forth between them they each seemed annoyed at me cause i'd gone to the other group. i've gotta be in one place of the other damnit >:/
You're always going to be given shit for hanging out with the girls instead of the guys.
[QUOTE=Mort and Charon;29374844]I've known her for just under a year, but only become close friends the last 3/4 months. She tells me quite a lot and comes to me for advice, even ends up sending me texts intended for her boyfriend quite a lot. I can see how it's a kind of crap situation, but as far as I'm aware, with her current boyfriend it was a "friends that grew into more" situation. They've been together two years, not including the break-up time they had. It was during the summer last year they broke up, in-between me meeting her and getting back in touch (I was so pissed off when I found this out). it was mainly over his parents hating her for some unknown reason, and it seems for a while a truce has been called, i don't know if it could all happen again though. And yeah, we've been out on what everybody else thought was "dates" but it was just friends having fun. [editline]23rd April 2011[/editline] And just for clarification; they are still together at the moment, I'm just thinking about what could happen in the future. She will go to a different school/college as her boyfriend next year, and from what she was saying it sounds like it might be difficult for them in the future.[/QUOTE] If she's really sad about the break up (if it even happens), then you might want to give her some time. If she doesn't seem to mind, go for it. But don't try to do that thing that they do in the movies where you comfort her while she's hurt, and she eventually falls in love with you because you are so sweet and kind like a puppy made of marshmallow. That doesn't work. Just ask her out if you think that she's ready for a new relationship. [editline]23rd April 2011[/editline] But honestly it seems like she's not worth it. You've known her for a while and she's just been close friends, and she has a boyfriend that she's been with for quite a while. There are other people that you could meet.
[QUOTE=Dark_Light;29376155]You're always going to be given shit for hanging out with the girls instead of the guys.[/QUOTE] Yeah i literally went to talk to her for 20 minutes of the 3 hours or so we were there :/
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;29376485]If she's really sad about the break up (if it even happens), then you might want to give her some time. If she doesn't seem to mind, go for it. But don't try to do that thing that they do in the movies where you comfort her while she's hurt, and she eventually falls in love with you because you are so sweet and kind like a puppy made of marshmallow. That doesn't work. Just ask her out if you think that she's ready for a new relationship. [editline]23rd April 2011[/editline] But honestly it seems like she's not worth it. You've known her for a while and she's just been close friends, and she has a boyfriend that she's been with for quite a while. There are other people that you could meet.[/QUOTE] Thanks. I don't get much of a chance to meet many girls, especially since I'm at an all boy's grammar school. Next year, for the 6th form at the school, girls are admitted, but its literally 5 boys to one girl. And I really like this girl.
Just hang out with whoever is more fun to be with. Who cares if they give you shit about it.
I think basing whether or not you want to be with someone off of how messy the breakup could potentially be is stupid and setting yourself up for disaster. Worry about the breakup when the breakup arrives, sitting there practically planning for it means it will probably happen.
Alright, my friend is being major bitchy. The story is basically this: He's been going through some severe moodswings recently, earning him the nickname "vagina-boy." A while back he bought a hard drive for me and said I could pay him back when he got money. He's going through a moodswing right now and is threatening to try to get the money from my parents if I can't pay him back by Monday. Not to mention he's acting like a complete asshole, like he's the second coming of Jesus and I'm inferior to him. What do I tell him to get him to fuck off? This conversation is taking place through text message by the way. I dunno if that changes anything.
[QUOTE=Protocol7;29380960]Alright, my friend is being major bitchy. The story is basically this: He's been going through some severe moodswings recently, earning him the nickname "vagina-boy." A while back he bought a hard drive for me and said I could pay him back when he got money. He's going through a moodswing right now and is threatening to try to get the money from my parents if I can't pay him back by Monday. Not to mention he's acting like a complete asshole, like he's the second coming of Jesus and I'm inferior to him. What do I tell him to get him to fuck off? This conversation is taking place through text message by the way. I dunno if that changes anything.[/QUOTE] Go to his house with the hard drive and smash it with a sledgehammer on his front lawn. [editline]23rd April 2011[/editline] I'm just kidding, don't do that. I'd just wait it out.
[QUOTE=Protocol7;29380960]Alright, my friend is being major bitchy. The story is basically this: He's been going through some severe moodswings recently, earning him the nickname "vagina-boy." A while back he bought a hard drive for me and said I could pay him back when he got money. He's going through a moodswing right now and is threatening to try to get the money from my parents if I can't pay him back by Monday. Not to mention he's acting like a complete asshole, like he's the second coming of Jesus and I'm inferior to him. What do I tell him to get him to fuck off? This conversation is taking place through text message by the way. I dunno if that changes anything.[/QUOTE] inb4 someone says hes bi-polar. [editline]23rd April 2011[/editline] [QUOTE=Mr.Dounut;29369882]no you're just dumb you're getting [B]anxiety[/B] over talking to a girl, what are you in third grade?[/QUOTE] hahah what? the only thing ive stated is i should flirt more with other people.
"why do you even have a formspring, honestly, it just makes you seem like a mean snide little bitch, i dont knw you to well mabye you are maybe you aren't but thats the way youur being percived, so if you dont want that mauybe you should delete it or answe" Question received on formspring. whoo i'm popular now
Might make a Formspring for just that reason.
my response was "all aboard the butthurt train! CHOO CHOO!"
[QUOTE=zzzZZZZ;29382027]my response was "all aboard the butthurt train! CHOO CHOO!"[/QUOTE] lmao, classic
i think i made myself seem like a clingy autistic twatbag and scared this girl off. i texted her today to make sure i was picking her up at 7 for our date and she didnt respond! woo hoo
I've answered over 1500 questions on formspring, and virtually all of them are real questions from real people, not spam and whatnot. Which seems like a big number considering I'm willing to bet all of those questions came from the same handful of people.
[QUOTE=GoldenGnome;29382153]i think i made myself seem like a clingy autistic twatbag and scared this girl off. i texted her today to make sure i was picking her up at 7 for our date and she didnt respond! woo hoo[/QUOTE] or she.. just isn't able to text right now?
[QUOTE=MaverickIB;29382190]I've answered over 1500 questions on formspring, and virtually all of them are real questions from real people, not spam and whatnot. Which seems like a big number considering I'm willing to bet all of those questions came from the same handful of people.[/QUOTE] I was at like 1600 or something before formspring shit out on me. I got very little spam too. Although I will say that I got some very obscene questions. [editline]23rd April 2011[/editline] eg "I'm so fucking wet right now. I need a big fat black footlong cock in my gapped pussy before my clit explodes! AHAFKMZDHBOFVJBARGKOP ALL HAIL ALLAH!" [editline]23rd April 2011[/editline] not even a question in retrospect
Yeah I never get stuff like that because my friends aren't dipshits.
[QUOTE=MaverickIB;29382575]Yeah I never get stuff like that because my friends aren't dipshits.[/QUOTE] It's just a matter of maturity. Your friends are significantly older.
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