Facepunch Anonymous Confessional: More Things Better Left Unsaid - General

[QUOTE=psychocyclone85;47065252]Pretty much, and the only way you can separate them is with two of these: [t]http://www.bricksabillion.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/brick-separator.jpg[/t][/QUOTE] or you bite them apart if you can't find one

[QUOTE=Zeke129;47065235]If someone with an inward chest hugs someone with an outward chest do they stick like lego[/QUOTE] I have an outward chest and I can confirm this as true.

[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;47062387]Oh wow, yeah, I actually use it as a cupholder all the time.[/QUOTE] Okay this requires pics.

[QUOTE=ScoutKing;47064525]The nuss bar isn't something that should be done for cosmetic reasons (thats just my personal opinion, im sure a money hungry CVT surgeon will do it for shits and giggles). If you're going to get it though, do it young.[/QUOTE] I ran track my freshman year of highschool, which coincided with my growth spurt; my chest grew in, and it literally added 4 minutes to my mile times. I was still 14-15 at the time, so it was probably a lot easier for my parents to argue with the insurance companies. That 3 weeks was hard though. I couldn't move, I couldn't sneeze. I had a colonoscopy tube and like 8 enemas because my shitter shut down from all of the morphine and whatever i wrote up about it like a year ago but i cant find the post, just imagine it's 3am, you have a tube in your ass, and you're vomitting up your painkillers because you didn't eat anything

[QUOTE=GameDev;47065556]just imagine it's 3am, you have a tube in your ass, and you're vomitting up your painkillers because you didn't eat anything[/QUOTE] can i not imagine that

It seems like there is a weirdly high percentage of people with that condition here on Facepunch, it can't be that frequent statistically?

[QUOTE=Rhenae;47066891]It seems like there is a weirdly high percentage of people with that condition here on Facepunch, it can't be that frequent statistically?[/QUOTE] it's quite common

what, no more anonymous confessions? i was enjoying this thread.

Facepunch Anonymous Confessional: We all have caved in chests.

Now I know why I don't fit in here

[QUOTE=Talvy;47069817]Now I know why I don't fit in here[/QUOTE] You don't have an outie chest?

[Quote=John 'Jon' Doe"]Jon Doe here. Just wanted to spell the name a little differently.. I had a rough childhood, filled with all manner of unpleasant things. I used to hurt myself, and sometimes growl and make unintelligible animalistic noises, whilst spending many long hours in the dark. Sometimes even greeted strangers with roars and anger. However, luckily for me, that sort of behavior suddenly stopped around the age of 11/12. Most anger issues I've had are gone now. I am more thankful then anything else. Regardless of bad situations in the past, life is good now, there is a roof over my head, dinner on the table, and I'm even entering college this year. I am healthy, fit, and have a big dick. There are others in life who have things much worse off, so I am grateful for what I have.[/quote] Were you raised by dogs, by any chance? Ours acted the same way, until he was trained better. [Quote="Kermit the Doe"]So, lately I've been having some strange dreams and I can't be sure where they're coming from. The first one that concerns me is a dream in which I'm in a classroom doing nothing in particular except introducing myself to my peers when one of them, presumably mentally deficient, takes off her pants and starts shitting herself in a loud manner. Mind you, this is a full grown woman. The next dream is one in which I'm watching a movie about a love story between Kermit the Frog who is really the Geico Gecko and a female gecko named Lindsay. What was surprising about the movie was the fact that it barely showed "Kermit" and his girlfriend at all, all but for two scenes. Instead, the movie focused on the town's exhibitionist postmaster who got off masturbating in the window of the post office lobby. To make matters worse, nobody said anything about it. If there was anything good about that dream, I would have to say that I found it comical that the postmaster battled having his collection of gumball machines stolen on a regular basis. Overall, I rate the movie 6/10, too much dick.[/quote] Thanks for sharing your dreams of public defalcation and masturbation with me. I don't know what to do with them, but at least I have them. [Quote="Assturbation Doe"]Two things; one I feel bad about, the other I chuckle. I'm not sure what my dating life boils down to. I have had 3-5 different women in my life for the past eight years, and every single one of them right when they broke up with me turned gay. It completely puts a nail in my manhood, as far as I know there is not a single part of me that would be feminine or offputting from being a male. It sorta sucks, and now has become "the joke" of my friends/co-workers. Second thing is when I was 16, a brand new grocery store opened up that I worked at. I was one of the bag bitches, so that meant I did all the cleaning too while I was at it. Twice a week in the Womens public washroom, I would fuck my asshole with the plunger and jerk off on to the toilet seat. I had to go piss while I was shopping there recently, and they still use the same plunger (I marked it with a sharpie distinctly when I left). I really don't know why I did, it was exhilarating I guess. I also used the Staff changeroom/washroom to masturbate with a fwb on my laptop in front of the mirror.[/quote] Maybe it's just a personal shortcoming, but I think that, at some point between entering the womens' bathroom and jerking off onto the toilet seats with a plunger shoved up my ass, I'd stop and take a moment --just a moment!-- to rethink my entire life up to that point.

I fit here because I have a quite big bump on the right side of my ribcage.

[QUOTE=GameDev;47065556]I ran track my freshman year of highschool, which coincided with my growth spurt; my chest grew in, and it literally added 4 minutes to my mile times. I was still 14-15 at the time, so it was probably a lot easier for my parents to argue with the insurance companies. That 3 weeks was hard though. I couldn't move, I couldn't sneeze. I had a colonoscopy tube and like 8 enemas because my shitter shut down from all of the morphine and whatever i wrote up about it like a year ago but i cant find the post, just imagine it's 3am, you have a tube in your ass, and you're vomitting up your painkillers because you didn't eat anything[/QUOTE] You needed that procedure badly, and you should of probably of been benched the second someone noticing your mile going up dramatically. [editline]3rd February 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=EnlightenDead;47064751]Never really asked anyone but how bad is the surgery? How long would someone have to be 'out of commission' after getting it done, and how bad is the pain after surgery?[/QUOTE] Its not TOO bad, but thats speaking relative to what ive seen. its relatively 'non-invasive" They pretty much put a upside down U into your chest, size it, than FLIP it to push the concave portion part of your chest out, they do this a couple times (think like 10-15) sizing it each time to get it right. They'll do a chest x-ray to confirm the placement and to make sure they didn't injure anything in the pleura sack (lungs and stuff), when i did it we found blood, so we also placed 2 unplanned chest tubes (one for air, one for fluid). The recover from what I hear is pretty rough, for a few weeks. The guy with the tubes placed I heard had them removed a day later though, and was discharged, so dont let the tubes scare you, its just a possibility that they place those for a short while.

Why would you shove a plunger of all things up your ass?

[QUOTE=BuffaloBill;47070656]Why would you shove a plunger of all things up your ass?[/QUOTE] Seems like it was handy at the time. Good thing he wasn't in the supply shed or it would have been a rake

[QUOTE=Lick;47070768]Seems like it was handy at the time. Good thing he wasn't in the supply shed or it would have been a rake[/QUOTE] im no expert on the utility of shoving tools up my own ass but I'm pretty sure he used the stick as opposed to plunging out his asshole so i imagine a rake would have just been a longer stick

[QUOTE=killerteacup;47070928]im no expert on the utility of shoving tools up my own ass but I'm pretty sure he used the stick as opposed to plunging out his asshole so i imagine a rake would have just been a longer stick[/QUOTE] yes but one would rather have shit on their plunger

[QUOTE=BuffaloBill;47070656]Why would you shove a plunger of all things up your ass?[/QUOTE] At the right angle, you can push the plunger part down and it'll push itself back up, so you can use it to fuck yourself with little effort. Source: Personal Experience [editline]cocks[/editline] I'd like to note that I wasn't the John Doe who sent that one in btw; although the anonymous confession I sent in [I]did[/I] have to do with cleaning utilities being used for sexual pleasure. [highlight](User was banned for this post ("Fucking weirdo" - Craptasket))[/highlight]

[QUOTE=Ern;47071000]At the right angle, you can push the plunger part down and it'll push itself back up, so you can use it to fuck yourself with little effort. Source: Personal Experience[/QUOTE] What colour sharpie was it?

[QUOTE=Killbane;47071016]What colour sharpie was it?[/QUOTE] Do rainbow sharpies exist? If so, then that one.

[QUOTE=Ern;47071144]Do rainbow sharpies exist? If so, then that one.[/QUOTE] So, all of them?

[QUOTE=Ern;47071000]At the right angle, you can push the plunger part down and it'll push itself back up, so you can use it to fuck yourself with little effort. Source: Personal Experience [editline]cocks[/editline] I'd like to note that I wasn't the John Doe who sent that one in btw; although the anonymous confession I sent in [I]did[/I] have to do with cleaning utilities being used for sexual pleasure.[/QUOTE] Yowza.

I should run a poll and have FPers vote for the next thing that gets shoved up my keister.

Let's not and pretend like it was never suggested!

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;47071370]I think the OP should include a big bold definition of the word "anonymous."[/QUOTE] Well I think shoving a plastic broom up one's bum is a [I]tad[/I] less creepy than jacking off onto womens' toilets.

doesnt make it any less creepy what the f are you doing

why are you telling people about your weird gross fetish just shutup shuTUP SHUTUP

I once pushed my fist so deep in my bum that I could grab the sausages I had eaten 20 minutes earlier and then I used that as a sex toy [editline].[/editline] Oh wait this was supposed to be anonymous? Ooooh nooooo [editline].[/editline] No but really, I don't think we should let the thread devolve into "I have X fetish" unless it is something worthy of an actual confession

[QUOTE=Bordellimies;47071603]I once pushed my fist so deep in my bum that I could grab the sausages I had eaten 20 minutes earlier and then I used that as a sex toy [editline].[/editline] Oh wait this was supposed to be anonymous? Ooooh nooooo[/QUOTE] Don't worry, your secret will be safe with us! All you need to do is explain it in excruciating detail.