Facepunch Anonymous Confessional: More Things Better Left Unsaid - General

[QUOTE=mokkan;47071492]why are you telling people about your weird gross fetish just shutup shuTUP SHUTUP[/QUOTE] Wrong thread to not hear about weird fetishes :v:

[QUOTE=mokkan;47071492]why are you telling people about your weird gross fetish just shutup shuTUP SHUTUP[/QUOTE] isn't that what this thread is for inevitably? I'd really prefer if each answer wasn't [I]"I once fisted myself at my grandmother's funeral and stared my grandfather in the eye afterwards"[/I] but it's gonna happen, people are as people will be like, i agree, but still, it's gotta be expected with a thread like this

-super snip-

how about you stop trying to get attention for being weird

If you want us to know what object you stuffed up what orifice of your body, tell us through the proper whistle-blower channels. IE: use the fucking email

[QUOTE=Cosa8888;47070363]I fit here because I have a quite big bump on the right side of my ribcage.[/QUOTE] One side of my chest is pushed in slightly below my nipple. I think it may have something to do with CPR after I drowned.

[QUOTE=Slithers;47072279]One side of my chest is pushed in slightly below my nipple. I think it may have something to do with CPR after I drowned.[/QUOTE] why is this site called facepunch when it seems everybody has a concave chest, should've called it chestpunch instead

Somebody get a plunger, because it looks like this thread [sp]went down the crapper[/sp] [IMG]https://youfoundasecret.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/vlcsnap-2013-03-13-14h35m58s140a.png[/IMG] [highlight](User was banned for this post ("Image macro" - Orkel))[/highlight]

[QUOTE=Smoovedawg1;47072689]Somebody get a plunger, because it looks like this thread [sp]went down the crapper[/sp] [IMG]https://youfoundasecret.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/vlcsnap-2013-03-13-14h35m58s140a.png[/IMG][/QUOTE] you mean went into [sp] someones ass in a ladies bathroom[/sp]

[QUOTE=Smoovedawg1;47072689]Somebody get a plunger, because it looks like this thread [sp]went down the crapper[/sp]][/QUOTE] or maybe the literal plunger did its job, and got the shit out the toilet if it weren't for that very plunger Ern would still be posting

can we please move on and get back onto the topic of confessionals, this is some brown-zone stuff here people

[QUOTE=Lick;47072796]or maybe the literal plunger did its job, and got the shit out the toilet if it weren't for that very plunger Ern would still be posting[/QUOTE] He should buy a dildo instead of sticking various objects up his rear.

This thread. It's good.

[QUOTE=Smoovedawg1;47072689]Somebody get a plunger, because it looks like this thread [sp]went down the crapper[/sp] [IMG]https://youfoundasecret.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/vlcsnap-2013-03-13-14h35m58s140a.png[/IMG] [highlight](User was banned for this post ("Image macro" - Orkel))[/highlight][/QUOTE] i've been transported to 2005 by this post

facepunch is weird man

[QUOTE=Shark Cat;47074778]facepunch is weird man[/QUOTE] Didn't even take me a week to figure that out.

lol when did BDA make mod what a faggot

Have the confessionals always lacked confessions. Like wtf I'm in a doctors waiting room and I was hoping to past the time with this thread but all I see is people talking about chest holes

Yes, it's how they've been after the first few threads. It's why this is restarting instead of continuing.

[QUOTE=Keychain;47075237]Have the confessionals always lacked confessions. Like wtf I'm in a doctors waiting room and I was hoping to past the time with this thread but all I see is people talking about chest holes[/QUOTE] Sheesh! I've already posted ten waves of them! Eleven, now. Cut a guy some slack! [Quote="John Doe-thiopath"]i'm 18 years old and i attend regular therapy for depression and anger issues, i've been attending for almost a year. a few days after my 18th birthday my therapist diagnosed me with anti-social personality disorder because i opened up to her about how i don't possess the capacity to care for other people and that i do not feel remorse for anything i've done (when i was 6 or 7 i caught birds with worms and then cut them open to see what was inside) or anything. i'm just a miserable angry person in general, i barely have any friends since school is over and i work a shitty job for a shitty company that doesn't care about any of its employees. my work hours got cut in third because the department i work for randomly hired two new people, so now i'm probably going to be homeless soon since i'm making at most 100 dollars every 2 weeks. i've saved around 1000$ in my checkings account and i'm completely lost as to what i should do with my life. i hate everyone who i've ever known since they've just used me for their own enjoyment, and i hate my life and myself because i can't even bring myself to get out of bed sometimes. i'm so lost and so angry and i don't know what to do. my life has been horse shit since day one. this probably isn't the most appropriate facet to look for help or advice but i genuinely enjoy browsing facepunch forums and it's one of the more important things in my life. i've been on facepunch since it was hosted on garrys blog website and i've been coming here almost every day for hours at a time just to avoid my shitty life. what should i do? i feel like the only option i have is to kill myself -- i'm not suicidal or planning on killing myself, it just seems like it's the only thing to do since my life isn't going to get any better. thanks and i apologize for my poor english.[/quote] Yikes. I think this issue might run a little bit deeper than anything I could do for you. You killed and dismembered animals for fun, have no sense of empathy or remorse, and generally hate everybody and everything around you? I'm just glad you're already in therapy! [Quote="John Doe (furry sex crime victim) "]i had cyber-sex with a furry who was probably like 10 years older than me when i was 13 i still regret it to this day cause it was fucking weird; he really wanted me to do e-anal[/quote] At least you weren't the twenty-something furry who was sexually predating children on the internet. [Quote=" John Doe, Kitten Scourge"]I used to abuse my kitten when I was a kid. Used to swing her by her tail and let her go mid-air, throw her up onto a high ledge where she couldn't get down, and I'm pretty sure I cut her whiskers at one point. Poor thing died before she turned one, not by my fault though. My mum accidentally turned the tumble dryer on while my kitty was still in it. Couldn't of known. Thankfully, I can rationalize it now that I'm not a kid. I feel fucking disgusting just thinking about it. It's something I'll carry it on my conscience forever, even moreso because I fucking love animals.[/quote] Anybody who says they didn't do something kinda fucked up when they were a little kid is probably lying. The important thing to take away from all this is that you actually developed enough sense to realize that chucking kittens around isn't all that hip. Unlike SOME people on this website!

snip, PM

[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;47075651][QUOTE=John Doe, Kitten Scourge]I used to abuse my kitten when I was a kid. Used to swing her by her tail and let her go mid-air, throw her up onto a high ledge where she couldn't get down, and I'm pretty sure I cut her whiskers at one point. Poor thing died before she turned one, not by my fault though. My mum accidentally turned the tumble dryer on while my kitty was still in it. Couldn't of known. Thankfully, I can rationalize it now that I'm not a kid. I feel fucking disgusting just thinking about it. It's something I'll carry it on my conscience forever, even moreso because I fucking love animals.[/QUOTE][/QUOTE] We had two dogs when I was a kid, and often my mom told me to take them out for a walk and the dogs wouldn't want to take long walks (older one was getting, well, old, and the younger one was afraid of something on the road ahead [possibly bad encounters with other dogs some earlier time]) so when I took a short walk with them, mom would always be super pissed [I]"Why did you walk them just around the house? You just want to get back so you can play games or something? Go try again if you don't want your computer be taken away from you for a day or two"[/I] so when the dogs didn't want to walk forward I always got really pissed about it and often vented by pretty literally dragging them along the leash just so I'd be able to say I walked them the full route. Thinking about that now makes me feel absolutely disgusted at myself, it wasn't their fault they didn't want to take long walks so I shouldn't have acted my frustration on them. But as a kid you don't really think about this.

[QUOTE=Bordellimies;47076078]We had two dogs when I was a kid, and often my mom told me to take them out for a walk and the dogs wouldn't want to take long walks (older one was getting, well, old, and the younger one was afraid of something on the road ahead [possibly bad encounters with other dogs some earlier time]) so when I took a short walk with them, mom would always be super pissed [I]"Why did you walk them just around the house? You just want to get back so you can play games or something? Go try again if you don't want your computer be taken away from you for a day or two"[/I] so when the dogs didn't want to walk forward I always got really pissed about it and often vented by pretty literally dragging them along the leash just so I'd be able to say I walked them the full route. Thinking about that now makes me feel absolutely disgusted at myself, it wasn't their fault they didn't want to take long walks so I shouldn't have acted my frustration on them. But as a kid you don't really think about this.[/QUOTE] When I was younger my dog wouldn't stop following me so when I ran away from her and kept running she was still behind me and I got really mad and picked her up by the front paws and dropped her. Of course she weighed more than me and just gracefully landed back on her two front paws. But I still feel like a big anus head from getting mad at her for just wanting to stay near me. She ended up going insane and biting an old lady so we had to put her down and that was probably the first time in my life that I had to deal with death and I cried a lot. I never got to apologize to my dog for getting mad at her.

[QUOTE]cat abuser [/QUOTE] While it's good that this person feels bad about it now, I think people who do fucked up things to cats are sick, even if they're children. The way she died was also absolutely negligent and disgusting. I feel like I want to barf just reading this. I hope anon is atoning for their sins by providing food, love and shelter to a cat now.

[QUOTE=meek;47080508]While it's good that this person feels bad about it now, I think people who do fucked up things to cats are sick, even if they're children. The way she died was also absolutely negligent and disgusting. I feel like I want to barf just reading this. I hope anon is atoning for their sins by providing food, love and shelter to a cat now.[/QUOTE] This is why you make sure to close dryers and such. Its to make sure kids and small animals don't jump in without you knowing and check before starting. It was easily avoidable.

By the way, in response to this Ern shit from yesterday, don't announce which anonymous confession was yours. That kind of silly attention-seeking totally defeats the purpose of the thread.

Boy this thread sure got, uh, interesting, in my absence.

[QUOTE=Trilby Harlow;47071713]isn't that what this thread is for inevitably? I'd really prefer if each answer wasn't [I]"I once fisted myself at my grandmother's funeral and stared my grandfather in the eye afterwards"[/I] but it's gonna happen, people are as people will be like, i agree, but still, it's gotta be expected with a thread like this[/QUOTE] anonymous confessional.

Disclaimer: in case it wasn't obvious, the only condition in which your anonymity won't be respected is in the event that you send me something implying that you are actively planning to hurt or kill somebody. Similar to the doctor-patient confidentiality thing that psychiatrists operate by, I cannot, in good conscience, ignore that. Such confessions will not be posted in this thread, and will be forwarded to law enforcement. Beyond that, everything is cool. Lay me out with your stories of drugs, sex, and rock and roll. Getting back at it: [Quote=" John WeeaDoe"]For the past 11 years of my life, I've been thoroughly and genuinely asexual. Not attracted to a thing. But there's one fictional character I would gladly make sweet love with. This confuses me. At the very least, it's an adult human fictional character, but it is an animu~.[/quote] I wish I could still be shocked by things like this, but I've been on Facepunch for far too long. Now it almost feels like a pleasant surprise when somebody tells me that they DON'T want to fuck a cartoon character! And on that note: [Quote="John Flow"]I used to pee my pants all the time until I was 7, not because I had a problem holding it in, but because I was either too lazy to go to the bathroom or I wanted to (literally) piss off my parents. I stopped a few weeks after they took me to a doctor who was a 2 hours drive away from home to check my bladders.[/quote] I'm glad you're not still doing it, because I reckon more than a couple people here do still wet themselves intentionally. [Quote="Requiem for a Doe"]My mom recently found out about my heroin and pain pill addiction and her reaction was not at all what I expected. Rather than threaten to kick me out, or tell me I need to get help, all she requires is that I'm "honest with her about it" and tell her if I'm high when she asks. I came home at 4 this morning after snorting enough Percocet to put down a large mammal and after I admitted to her that I was high, she said OK and went and got me a cup of coffee. One of the only real reasons I am ever tempted to kick the habit is because I hate letting my mom down, but now knowing that she doesn't really mind it gives me the feeling that my addiction is going to get much worse. I'm supposed to be saving for college this fall, and as I type this, I'm smoking 3 points of heroin that I just spent my last $75 to buy.[/quote] There are programs for this, you know. Heroin isn't something to fuck around with. In a totally nonjudgmental capacity, I'd implore you to seek some help managing this, because a drug problem involving the routine abuse of shit like heroin rarely has a happy ending. For your own sake, and for your mom's, seek a local narcotics anonymous group.

[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;47087978]Disclaimer: in case it wasn't obvious, the only condition in which your anonymity won't be respected is in the event that you send me something implying that you are actively planning to hurt or kill somebody. Similar to the doctor-patient confidentiality thing that psychiatrists operate by, I cannot, in good conscience, ignore that. Such confessions will not be posted in this thread, and will be forwarded to law enforcement.[/QUOTE] Now I'm wondering what confession you got that triggered this sort of warning.