I'm scared that the squirrel will just rip through the bag.
There was once a squirrel stuck in my chimney... my mom thought it was a fucking bird, and after it stopped making noise for a week, the smell of decomposition filled the living room so my mom made me clean the bird out.
I opened the chimney, expecting the tiny bird to be right there, only to be greeted by a fucking rotting tail with maggots feasting on it that fell and nearly landed on my head. The tail had been wedged in, and as the muscle decomposed, it detached from the body, so when I opened the chimney and stuck my head in, I got rained on by maggots, decomposing flesh, and fur.
[editline]wtf[/editline]
I didn't think this experience was very funny....
[QUOTE=SPESSMEHREN;25522828]There was once a squirrel stuck in my chimney... my mom thought it was a fucking bird, and after it stopped making noise for a week, the smell of decomposition filled the living room so my mom made me clean the bird out.
I opened the chimney, expecting the tiny bird to be right there, only to be greeted by a fucking rotting tail with maggots feasting on it that fell and nearly landed on my head. The tail had been wedged in, and as the muscle decomposed, it detached from the body.[/QUOTE]
This made me feel so sad. I'm gonna let it out first thing in the morning.
[QUOTE=SPESSMEHREN;25522828]There was once a squirrel stuck in my chimney... my mom thought it was a fucking bird, and after it stopped making noise for a week, the smell of decomposition filled the living room so my mom made me clean the bird out.
I opened the chimney, expecting the tiny bird to be right there, only to be greeted by a fucking rotting tail with maggots feasting on it that fell and nearly landed on my head. The tail had been wedged in, and as the muscle decomposed, it detached from the body, so when I opened the chimney and stuck my head in, I got rained on by maggots, decomposing flesh, and fur.[/QUOTE]
Jesus fuck.
-snip-
Was gonna say gas it, but that's mean, I've always wanted a squirrel as a pet. :(
Why was this rated disagree and dumb? You fuckers don't know how to read.
[QUOTE=collegegrad;25522881]This made me feel so sad. I'm gonna let it out first thing in the morning.[/QUOTE]
Let it out now before it dies you cunt.
It won't survive overnight you genius, let it out as soon as possible rather than when it's convenient.
Take a 3 foot tall trashcan with a lid and put it in there. Open the vent and slam the lid on when it falls in.
[QUOTE=collegegrad;25522820]I'm scared that the squirrel will just rip through the bag.[/QUOTE]
Squirrels are really vicious and can kill a man in less than 10 seconds
Kill it with fire.
Light it up? Simple.
[IMG]http://i54.tinypic.com/2mckxs.png[/IMG]
Convert it to communism and convince it to sacrifise itself for Lenin.
[highlight](User was banned for this post ("communism" - Lithifold))[/highlight]
[QUOTE=nikomo;25523482]Convert it to communism and convince it to sacrifise itself for Lenin.[/QUOTE]
You realise people are getting banned for saying that now, right? :I
I've seen several people not being banned for it here and there. I always thought it was kind of funny but that's probably just me now.
[QUOTE=pyrofiliac;25522297][img_thumb]https://dl.dropbox.com/u/99892/facepunch.png[/img_thumb]
I read this quickly and my brain kind of thought it said "Facepunch, there is a squirrel stuck inside of my ass".[/QUOTE]
god damn it pyro :saddowns:
Did you let it out yet?
I once had a bat in my fire place at my lake, I took it out with a pair of tongs because I thought it was a bird, but then it was a bat and I freaked out. Good times.
Put a bag or basket underneath the vent, and when the squirrel falls in, put the lid on or tie the bag and bring it outside, and open the basket/bag.
lure it out with fresh oven roasted nuts.. squirrels love fresh oven roasted nuts :buddy:
Tell your parents it's gonna smell if he's dead, and if it isn't smelling by then it will because it will be roasted there.
you can also just turn the fire on.. wont smell of dieing carcass it'll smell of nice cooked squirrel meat. Plus the fire will kill any maggot your worried about lol, dinner time :fork:
Did it died already ?
Poor squirrel! It might have got cold. Just getting warmed up...
Squirrel... fireplace... It practically solves itself.
[QUOTE=Water Bear;25524948]you can also just turn the fire on.. wont smell of dieing carcass it'll smell of nice cooked squirrel meat. Plus the fire will kill any maggot your worried about lol, dinner time :fork:[/QUOTE]
Except that's sadistic.
[img]http://www.showyourdick.org/image/6csx9okgarm8_-1382129597.jpg[/img]
[highlight](User was banned for this post ("Img tagged URL showing auth page" - SteveUK))[/highlight]
Get someone to hold onto your ankles and lower you down the chimney so you can pick up the poor guy and then get lifted out. Wear gloves if you need to.
It's fool-proof.
Op better update us or im puting him in a fireplace and posting on fachpunch saying "wat do?"
[QUOTE=flarrm;25522585]Solution: Open the vent.
[editline]edit[/editline]
Wait, fuck. Open a vent with a powerful air compressor under it. Squirrel shoots into sky.[/QUOTE]
[img]http://img709.imageshack.us/img709/9996/123gyz.png[/img]
Everybody knows squirrels are attracted to trees magnetically..
You're afraid of a squirrel you fuck
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