Best way to commit suicide? (Not a ban-me or troll thread) - General

If you kill yourself I'm going to fuck you up. Get surgery.

[QUOTE=Handsome;25626412]Hello; setting up a sequel to my muffled noise in ear thread I've found out that I am going deaf. Now before the effects fully take in I'm curious as to what is the most painless, tranquil way to commit suicide? I don't want to jump in front of a speeding bus or blow my brains out with a gun (I don't even have one). I just want a death that's painless and simple. Any ideas at all? And if you could compel me not to suicide that's welcomed as well; but I feel that I am beyond salvation. (Note: This is not a bullshit ban-me thread, the reduction of hearing and ringing is humanly unbearable. Moderators I hope you can understand and not close this thread.)[/QUOTE] Do whatever the fuck you want, then jump from a tall building.

Do you really really want to die? Damn, better make it memorable. Move to a state where death penalty is enforced, possibly by electric chair. Steal a doctor's coat. You can even kill the doctor to do this, it does not matter since you're going to die anyway. But it's vital for the plan's outcome. Oh, and get a big bottle of lube. Go into a hospital's nursery, and look for a couple who has just had twins. If you don't find any, move to another hospital. Upon finding said newborn twins, lube your hands pretty well, and stick them into two of the babies' cavity of choice. (your choice, mind you. if you wait for the babies to choose for you, it will be too late for a good execution of the plan) You now just obtained two horrible boxing gloves. If they are still alive (and your chosen cavity wasn't the mouth) they could also be still screaming. Now punch the terrified parents until they go unconscious. At the trial plead guilty. If they don't give you a painful and zappy death sentence, then that state has some serious justice problems. [b]Bonus points:[/b] when being executed, make sure to scream "JUST AS PLANNEEDDDDNNNNGGGHHHH" as your final words.

Put on a pair of headphones and listen to justin bieber, then shoot yourself. thus making it seem like justin biebers music is dangerous because it can control your mind and make you go mad, and will be banned in lots of countries. That way you will be regarded as a hero after your death and you will do us all a favour.

so you want to kill yourself op? well FUCK YOU that's the easy way out you need to be a MAN and LIVE i don't care if you become some fatass living off welfare you'd still be manlier than if you killed yourself

OP I'll make you a bet, if you don't kill yourself, I'll put forward some funds towards curing deafness through micro implants, deal?

Death by cochlear implants

[QUOTE=Handsome;25626472]It's too unbearable.[/QUOTE] No it's not.

[QUOTE=Doctor_Communism;25640395]No it's not.[/QUOTE] Rated dumb for assuming you know what is and what isn't bearable for different people. I've been in a place this dark before OP, if you haven't done 'it' yet, please PM me so I can help you through it. I don't want you dying without fully considering everything and making sure you understand the situation.

[QUOTE=strayebyrd;25640727]Rated dumb for assuming you know what is and what isn't bearable for different people.[/QUOTE] I'm pretty sure I do. Don't talk back to me, son.

... Ohh look at me I am the OP I just want attention..

[QUOTE=Tacosheller;25626493]Old age[/QUOTE] :ohdear:

[QUOTE=Doctor_Communism;25641215]I'm pretty sure I do. Don't talk back to me, son.[/QUOTE] Pretty sure you don't but I'm not going to further this argument because it's stupid and pointless.

[QUOTE=strayebyrd;25641312]Pretty sure you don't but I'm not going to further this argument because it's stupid and pointless.[/QUOTE] Much like killing yourself over loosing your hearing instead of something significant like severe chronic pain or to make sure a loved one has enough money from your inheritance/insurance.

Killing yourself is fucking stupid.

Listen the OP is just wanting attention... let this thread die.

[QUOTE=Shadow Core;25641507]Listen the OP is just wanting attention... let this thread die.[/QUOTE] I don't want attention. I just want help, and so far a bulk of FP's posts here ([b]OTHER THAN YOURS, PRICK[/b]) have been gradually compelling me not to suicide. I'm still on the brink between doing it and not doing it, but I feel the scale is slowly turning to the non-suicide part. However, I'm still depressed and unsure, needless to say.

[QUOTE=Shadow Core;25641507]Listen the [B]OP is just wanting attention... let this thread die.[/B][/QUOTE] Honestly, I hate it when assholes do this.

Strip naked, tie a rope to a high beam and from that a noose to your neck, get on a chair that is of sufficient height, and begin masturbating. When you're cumming, kick the chair and yell 'LEGENDARY!!!'

[QUOTE=Handsome;25641535]I don't want attention. I just want help, and so far a bulk of FP's posts here ([b]OTHER THAN YOURS, PRICK[/b]) have been gradually compelling me not to suicide. I'm still on the brink between doing it and not doing it, but I feel the scale is slowly turning to the non-suicide part. However, I'm still depressed and unsure, needless to say.[/QUOTE] I have no pity for people wanting to kill themselves... I'm not saying you should or shouldn't but it is pathetic. [editline]25th October 2010[/editline] [QUOTE=RayDark;25641548]Honestly, I hate it when assholes do this.[/QUOTE] Have a Box.

Stand on top of a high place with garotte wire around your neck tied in a noose, then attached to something. Make sure there is enough distance for you to fall so that your head will be cut off. Glue you hands to your head and then JUMP. It will look like you tore your own head off.

[QUOTE=Shadow Core;25641566]I have no pity for people wanting to kill themselves... I'm not saying you should or shouldn't but it is pathetic. [editline]25th October 2010[/editline] Have a Box.[/QUOTE] You don't even know how it fucking feels to be in this position so stop judging me.

Just wait for science to find a way to cure you. Taking the easy way out is not the answer, you have what to life for

[QUOTE=Shadow Core;25641566]I have no pity for people wanting to kill themselves... I'm not saying you should or shouldn't but it is pathetic. [editline]25th October 2010[/editline] [B]Have a Box[/B].[/QUOTE] Get a life you pathetic ass.

[QUOTE=Handsome;25641603]You don't even know how it fucking feels to be in this position so stop judging me.[/QUOTE] Does not matter what position you are in, I can judge you by you're actions, and from what you have posted you have shown you just want attention, you are really not going to do anything you just want attention... You came to the wrong place.

[QUOTE=Doctor_Communism;25641347]Much like killing yourself over loosing your hearing instead of something significant like severe chronic pain or to make sure a loved one has enough money from your inheritance/insurance.[/QUOTE] Once again, if you don't know the full picture, don't make rash assumptions about how easy it is to just 'man up'. When I was contemplating it, it was for a [I]way [/I]more trivial reason than this. The point is he doesn't need arrogant fucks giving this whole "don't be a pussy" hypocrite bullshite, he needs people who genuinely want to help.

I'm sorry but losing hearing is nothing, dealing with that would be hard at first but, at least you are not blind... That is way worse, I know a guy that has lost all his limbs in Iraq, he is still kicking, he is trying... [editline]25th October 2010[/editline] [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ciYk-UwqFKA[/media] OP, please watch...

[QUOTE=Shadow Core;25641661]I'm sorry but losing hearing is nothing, dealing with that would be hard at first but, at least you are not blind... That is way worse, I know a guy that has lost all his limbs in Iraq, he is still kicking, he is trying...[/QUOTE] why do people keep saying blind is worse than deaf? I mean admittedly Deafness has a higher probability of being cured in the near future, but for a music fan of course deafness is going to seem worse than blindness. Obviously neither should warrant suicide, but its just a stupid idea to insult and berate the person in question, like it's actually going to help.

[QUOTE=strayebyrd;25641720]why do people keep saying blind is worse than deaf? I mean admittedly Deafness has a higher probability of being cured in the near future, but for a music fan of course deafness is going to seem worse than blindness. Obviously neither should warrant suicide, but its just a stupid idea to insult and berate the person in question, like it's actually going to help.[/QUOTE] Does not matter, killing you're self is not the way to do it.

[QUOTE=Shadow Core;25641760]Does not matter, killing you're self is not the way to do it.[/QUOTE] I know that, I just said that. What I'm saying is that all the hypocrites in this thread think that they're actually helping by calling a person who is contemplating [I]suicide[/I] a 'pussy', like they actually understand what the individual is going through.