Best way to commit suicide? (Not a ban-me or troll thread) - General

Ok so what you gotta do step by step. You will need: -one of those wire cheese cutter things -a stool -super glue -depression 1. step on the stool 2. while on the stool, wrap the cheese cutter around your neck and attach it to the top. 3. super glue your hands to your head 4. when it dries, jump! The result: When they find your body at first it will look like you pulled off your own head!

Life is a pretty crap thing anyway. But I don't recommend suicide, my friend did it once and I have not seen him since.

[QUOTE=Hookerbot9000;25644450][url]http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=manly_suicide[/url] Or, you could do it so that you leave something for US to enjoy. For example: Get some piano wire (~30 feet of it), some strong-as-hell glue, and go up to a ~30 story building. Tie the piano wire to something secure, then tie the other end around your neck, tightly. Make the knots strong. Then, put the glue on your hands (lots) and glue your hands over your ears. Jump off the building. When you're found on the pavement, it will give the illusion that you have ripped your own head right off. If you're gonna off your deaf ass, do it in style.[/QUOTE] Your body would probably be flatten and impossible to notice what he did with his head.

I think that OP is attention whore and needs to man up. When someone offers him reasonable solution or tries to cheer him up, it looks like he doesn't give a damn about it. Man up OP, there are people in far worse situations.

[QUOTE=dzonint;25654581]I think that OP is attention whore and needs to man up. When someone offers him reasonable solution or tries to cheer him up, it looks like he doesn't give a damn about it. Man up OP, there are people in far worse situations.[/QUOTE] They're not giving him the answer to his question though, that question being what the best way to commit suicide is, it's obvious he does not want an alternative, so why try for 12 pages? And what you must realise is that simply because there are people in worse off situations, does not necessarily mean that OP should be counting his blessings and going on about his life happy in the knowledge that there are people worse off than him. If I were to go blind, the moment I was sure I was definitely going blind, the first thing I'd be doing is finding the quickest way possible with which I could kill myself, before I lose ability to reliably kill myself due to blindness, granted, OP might just be going deaf, but I fear blindness simply because all my interests rely on my ability to see, if I lose that ability, I have nothing, I imagine this is a similar case for the OP and can understand why he may want to kill himself. His decision is a tad rash, but if he gives it enough time and upon actually experiencing being totally deaf or partially deaf with a hearing aid, rationally decides that he no longer wants to live, it's nothing but selfish and narrow minded to deny him his wish. So I don't see why we shouldn't help his search for information on how to kill himself reliably along, he's not a total idiot, he probably won't just kill himself without first giving it proper consideration, if he does, then nothing of value was lost. :v: Ultimately it's his decision, you can try to appeal to him to not kill himself if you want, but know, you'll be off topic when you do.

Play World of Warcraft Wait you mean social suicide right

[QUOTE=Mister Sandman;25655388]Play World of Warcraft Wait you mean social suicide right[/QUOTE] That doesn't make any sense...

Guys, I don't know wether anyone has pointed this out yet but OP isn't going to kill himself. He put at the end of the title '(Not a trol or ban-me thread)' well let me ask you this OP, why would you care about being banned if you are going to kill yourself. Also, I heard a awesome way to die is wresting bears in Estonia

eat the berries from lily of the valley or the whole plant if you want to, you don't get poisoning symptoms, you could eat them before you go to sleep and not wake up

Just a troll...

[QUOTE=R3allybored;25653867]Ok so what you gotta do step by step. You will need: -one of those wire cheese cutter things -a stool -super glue -depression 1. step on the stool 2. while on the stool, wrap the cheese cutter around your neck and attach it to the top. 3. super glue your hands to your head 4. when it dries, jump! The result: When they find your body at first it will look like you pulled off your own head![/QUOTE] We've heard this method for quite a time now. Read the damn thread. For my method, you need a railroad bridge. Tie a rope from one end of the bridge, and to the other. Strap it around your neck. then, tie a rope around a pretty heavy stone (1000kg), drop it down from the bridge. Tie the other end around your feet. Train comes, hits rope, rope tightens up, you get hanged, rope tightens up more, head is ripped off.

Honestly, if there would be a possibility that I could go deaf I'd consider suicide if a reliable hearing restoring method wouldn't be nearing completion.

[QUOTE=Paravin;25656767]Honestly, if there would be a possibility that I could go deaf I'd consider suicide if a reliable hearing restoring method wouldn't be nearing completion.[/QUOTE] Like i said Implants work like new

so wait how can you think being deaf is remotely as bad as not living and [i]possibly[/i] going to hell

Ain't there this video where a Swedish guy commits suicide in like five different ways?

[QUOTE=G71tc4;25626425]Fill self with candy Jump from skyscraper dressed as a pinata[/QUOTE] Patton Oswalt made that joke before [editline]26th October 2010[/editline] oh the best way to commit suicide? just fill yourself up with pills and by the pain being numb, just hang yourself both quick and painless

-snip-

Life is more than just sound. there is no need to throw life away just because you cant sense these little vibrations on air. And your hearing will be fixed in not too long. Think about skydiving, surfing, wingsuits, longboards, skating... Life is a daring adventure, or nothing. You can enjoy these all without any hearing. just live your life. But who am I to tell you that? I got a long life ahead of me.

[QUOTE=Str4fe;25658509]Life is more than just sound. there is no need to throw life away just because you cant sense these little vibrations on air. And your hearing will be fixed in not too long. Think about skydiving, surfing, wingsuits, longboards, skating... Life is a daring adventure, or nothing. You can enjoy these all without any hearing. just live your life. But who am I to tell you that? I got a long life ahead of me.[/QUOTE] and you die at the end anyway so it doesnt matter does it

Train

Please don't die <3 ):

Use a dynamite stick as a cigar. Make sure you dress up like El Presidente and do it on Cuba.

-Cleanup Snip-

Hearing AIDS may kill you.

Drilldo to the eye

Op has just stopped talking to this thread or he is...

[QUOTE=Jookia;25626723][media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vptfm9D6owo[/media] This song might cheer you up. Oh wait.[/QUOTE] That's fucking mean..

One of my good friends had the same symptoms as OP terrible ringing then defness for years, until one day he got his hearing back. Don't kill your self ever please we all care about you, there are so many ways you can get help with the hearing aids and things, please read how other people cope with their defness and then you try to look for other options, we all want you to live please don't kill your self. Pm me if you want a private chat.

get a cochlear implant or w/e those are called. Seriously dude if this were 30 years ago I'd totally understand you, but right now there are ways of hearing after you're deaf. but if you want to kill yourself instead of trying to get some of your hearing back and actually LIVE then go ahead just OD I guess.

Listen, OP, I believe that going deaf would be unbearable, but I wouldn't kill myself over it. I say, don't kill your self, just live. Please I haven't had an account on facepunch for long, but I think all life is valuable. Do not kill yourself, just live your life.