• How NOT to react when your child tells you that he's gay
    179 replies, posted
I'm less than straight, from the sixth 'most dangerous' city in Alabama where I grew up. I faced a lot of hatred and bigotry. In school I fought near daily with other kids, got sent to alternative school and always seemed to get blamed for getting the shit kicked out of me. My own family and I were at odds for quite some time over the issue. For every hateful backwards person I encountered there's a kind, open and understanding one whose compassion really extends beyond my own. I'd be a weeping pussy if I grew up anywhere else. Where I come from made me strong and I'm gotdamn proud of it. [img]http://fi.somethingawful.com/images/smilies/emot-911.gif[/img] I don't know what makes you gusy think that this type of thing doesn't exist elsewhere in the country. Outward racism and homophobia run deep in a lot of uneducated peoples' minds. The South is very poor. Just because you don't hear people openly spew vitriolic shit doesn't mean your community is free from racism. For example, when I was visiting friends in Reno, Nevada I got a bunch of off-color comments about how I must be racist, how I must be stupid because of where I'm from or how I speak. However, take a look at an ethnic distribution map of Reno and you'll find that the whites live in the center affluent areas while there's a clear line separating the area where black people live in the outside. It's easy to forget about when it's not being pushed in your face. You'll never hear someone say "Oh I heard the middle-eastern accent and I knew what was coming next." "Ass soon as you hear the ebonics you know the direction it's going." Cause that's fucked up. I can only hope these parents, like mine, eventually realize that their actions don't demonstrate compassion or even love for their God, only contempt for their own blood and dissonance within the family.
[QUOTE=sirdownloadsalot;45835046]Look, I understand your whole "sex is for babbies tho D:" argument, but its bullshit. In primitive times, when 7/10 neanderthals were eaten by predators, reproduction WAS important to being a dominant species. But in the now-times, we've already won that battle. There's more of us then ever before. The human race isn't going anywhere, so even if a percent of the population likes it in the pooper, it's not gonna affect birthrates in a way where we're in danger of becoming extinct. Besides, gay people weren't going to reproduce anyway, even if they didn't have intercourse between themselves :v: Besides, sperm donor-ship is a thing. Gay people can still have families and contribute to the human pool even without "natural" intercourse. Sorry to say, but your argument does not hold a drop of water.[/QUOTE] Uh, China is having a huge population issue because they limited the kids to only one child, so yes it has complete relevance even today. Sperm donor still requires a woman to have your kid, and I can confirm from personal experience (one of my neighbors was a surrogate mother) it does not end well. But, who am I to judge other people. There's nothing stopping them from doing it, and it's their problem. But I was simply stating why I think it's bad as a whole.
[QUOTE=Sir Whoopsalot;45835017]Oh right, that's why dolphins and pigs went extinct years ago![/QUOTE] Dolphins and pigs are gay people in animal suits to make everyone else think those animals still exist. I can't possibly think of a more logical explanation.
[QUOTE=Stiffy360;45835095]Uh, China is having a huge population issue because they limited the kids to only one child, so yes it has complete relevance even today. Sperm donor still requires a woman to have your kid, and I can confirm from personal experience (one of my neighbors was a surrogate mother) it does not end well. But, who am I to judge other people. There's nothing stopping them from doing it, and it's their problem. But I was simply stating why I think it's bad as a whole.[/QUOTE] Uh [img]http://www.data360.org/temp/dsg201_500_350.jpg[/img] Isn't China massively overpopulated right now? I don't think their population is having any issues keeping up over there :v: But if you have a source about the population issue I'd love to read it And there are plenty of cases of the whole surrogate mother thing working out fine. Just because you know of one bad case doesn't mean the system is bad as a whole, It just depends on the people doing it.
[QUOTE=sirdownloadsalot;45835136]Uh [img]http://www.data360.org/temp/dsg201_500_350.jpg[/img] Isn't China massively overpopulated right now? I don't think their population is having any issues keeping up over there :v: But if you have a source about the population issue I'd love to read it And there are plenty of cases of the whole surrogate mother thing working out fine. Just because you know of one bad case doesn't mean the system is bad as a whole, It just depends on the people doing it.[/QUOTE] You don't see the immediate effects yet (since a generation hasn't died quite yet), but they're encountering issues of too many guys. [url]http://www.cnn.com/2012/11/14/opinion/china-challenges-one-child-brooks/[/url] [url]http://www.cbsnews.com/news/china-too-many-men/[/url] Most of whom will be bachelors all their lives.
Is child disowning actually legal in the US?
[QUOTE=Stiffy360;45835177]You don't see the immediate effects yet (since a generation hasn't died quite yet), but they're encountering issues of too many guys. [url]http://www.cnn.com/2012/11/14/opinion/china-challenges-one-child-brooks/[/url] [url]http://www.cbsnews.com/news/china-too-many-men/[/url] Most of whom will be bachelors all their lives.[/QUOTE] While the population incident in China may be a real concern, it's not really applicable to the gay population however. China's lack of women is, supposedly, coming from a cultural stigma with families not wanting to raise girls, but rather men. But the world there over is not in the same danger due to gay people. It's not like in 2014 more gays are being born then usual. The only thing that is increasing is gradual acceptance. The same percentage of gay people are being born as ever and it's not going to affect the population and cause a lack of babies. Keep in mind that women can be gay as well, so relating this to gender is completely arbitrary and inapplicable. Gay people will not procreate with members of the opposite sex. They never have and never will, they have the same sway over population rates as ever.
Some parents shouldn't be parents. I understand that they can believe anything they want to believe, i just wish they were more open minded with other things too.
[QUOTE=MILKE;45835206]Is child disowning actually legal in the US?[/QUOTE] Only if they're a minor and have nowhere to go.
[QUOTE=Stiffy360;45835095] But, who am I to judge other people. There's nothing stopping them from doing it, and it's their problem. But I was simply stating why I think it's bad as a whole.[/QUOTE] "I don't want to judge people but what you people are doing is bad."
I'm laughing at that banana guy's replies. "nobody is born gay" to a respect, i get that. I am gay myself and i can think of about 10 different theories where i might have possibly "become" gay when growing up. But then i can also contradict those theories as i have 2 sisters and a brother brought up the same way as i was and all of them turned out straight. I do have a feeling though that our tastes are amplified when growing up, for example i am interested in quite strong, muscular men, that could be because i watched Dragonball Z religiously and loved it and basically made it my life..... but you could argue against that with maybe because i was born gay that is why i was so interested in Dragonball Z. I only really realised i was gay when i was 18. I wondered from the age of 15 but just thought it was hormones/a phase. But it never changed and realised i was but was closeted until the age of 22 then finally came out to my family and friends and everything was cool, never had a problem with anyone (probably because im not stereotypically gay and everyone just assumes im straight)
I have no idea why I watched this. I knew what it would be like going in, but I guess I thought it would be a subversion. Nope. Hope he does well, as well as anyone else who goes through bigotry in any sort of way.
[QUOTE=Stiffy360;45834937]They can clean it, but it doesn't change the fact that a rump is simply not designed for sexual intercourse, it's designed for waste disposal. (no real protection from diseases at all) And you know, it's kind of pointless since you aren't going to get any kids that way.[/QUOTE] I don't want kids but I'll gladly have sex pointless or not, it's going to make me happy
[QUOTE=Stiffy360;45834828]Well, the Bible doesn't mention it that much, but basically we were created to be one man and one woman. (If you want the spiritual reason)[/quote] That's implying marriage still has a function of officially allowing people to have kids, when it really doesn't anymore - at least non-religious civil marriages don't. They're a public declaration of "I love that person and I'm gonna have sex with them", sure, but the child-making part has been irrelevant for quite some time. Besides, religious marriage and civil marriage are two different things with two rather different reasons to exist. [QUOTE=Stiffy360;45834828]And so you don't assume anything, I honestly don't care if guys live together, its if they try to have sexual intercourse with one another through rather unclean interaction that I have an issue with. Not only does it help spread certain types of diseases (which is bad for them), It also has a zero chance of producing kids, which is rather bad for society as a whole. (If everyone was gay, human race would die out pretty quickly)[/quote] Homosexuality isn't exactly societal or contagious so allowing people to buttfuck each other or women to scissor all day won't damage society because the impact on birthrates would be insanely minimal, to not say nonexistent. Besides, diseases can spread regardless of sex and regardless of what sexual organs interact with what, and there is statistically more STDs in the gay community is basically due to people being uneducated and often shamed for their sexuality, leading to men not checking in hospitals to check for sexual transmissible diseases or infections or get them treated when possible, and most homosexual relationships being poorly handled due to close to no actual education on how to do it existing. There's already very little proper sex ed in America, but there's literally none concerning male/male relations.
My friend, who will go unnamed - revealed to me two years ago that he was homosexual and had been hiding it from everyone since the beginning. I was the first person to know beside his mother. "Gordon, I just thought I'd tell you - I'm [homosexual]." "Okay?" And at that point it was like he was completely relieved of everything. It's a shame that people can't continue their lives without things like this. My friend continues to hide his sexuality from his Dad because he's afraid of the repercussions that would come about if he did. I'd been told by my parents that they'd still love and support me regardless of my decision even though I'm heterosexual. It's a such a disgrace to witness something like this and it almost brings tears to my eyes.
[QUOTE=Stiffy360;45834828]Well, the Bible doesn't mention it that much, but basically we were created to be one man and one woman. (If you want the spiritual reason)[/QUOTE] Yeah and woman was made to help man just like animals were, so women are inferior to men. Also talking snakes. I can understand if you are talking about religious marriage but there is no rational reason to be opposed to civil gay marriage. [QUOTE=Stiffy360;45834828]And so you don't assume anything, I honestly don't care if guys live together, its if they try to have sexual intercourse with one another through rather unclean interaction that I have an issue with. Not only does it help spread certain types of diseases (which is bad for them)[/QUOTE] Right only gays have STDs. Also you have 0 knowledge about anal sex so I don't think you should be talking too much about it. People have been doing it for some time now and there are ways to make it clean. [QUOTE=Stiffy360;45834828], It also has a zero chance of producing kids, which is rather bad for society as a whole. [/QUOTE] That's why we don't allow infertile and old couples to marry. [QUOTE=Stiffy360;45834828](If everyone was gay, human race would die out pretty quickly) [/QUOTE] If everyone was a man there human race would die out pretty quickly. Lucky for you there aren't really many gays.
get a load of these comments tho; [t]http://i4.minus.com/iMHxAveDrbHXp.png[/t]
It feels like people are creating more problems for themselves when they are homophobic.
[QUOTE=Stiffy360;45834828]And so you don't assume anything, I honestly don't care if guys live together, its if they try to have sexual intercourse with one another through rather unclean interaction that I have an issue with. Not only does it help spread certain types of diseases (which is bad for them), It also has a zero chance of producing kids, which is rather bad for society as a whole. (If everyone was gay, human race would die out pretty quickly)[/QUOTE] Your latter point is entirely irrelevant, as the human race will not be entirely gay under any circumstances and people have been having homosexual relations since the time of Ancient Greece, so obviously it's not doing too much to curb the fact that we have basically reproduced into one of the most numerous species in Earth's history. Your former point is fixed by taking proper precautions which any sane gay person would do. These are both non-issues and the fact that you are simply pretending these solutions don't exist is being ignorant and refusing to be educated on the matter.
So coming back to this. I think both the guy and the parents acted very poorly with the situation. It should have just stopped at 1:10. When the kid questioned his mums christianity and preached his science over his mums religion was a VERY immature thing to do. He basically said "Science is better than your religion so i am right". I favor science over religion but im not going to shoot down someones religion because i disagree with it. Religion is a HUGE thing to them and its a huge part of their lives. But then again, later on on the video, the parents/family just went down hill and reacted horribly to the situation which was also incredibly immature of them.
[QUOTE=greeley;45860149]So coming back to this. I think both the guy and the parents acted very poorly with the situation. It should have just stopped at 1:10. When the kid questioned his mums christianity and preached his science over his mums religion was a VERY immature thing to do. He basically said "Science is better than your religion so i am right". I favor science over religion but im not going to shoot down someones religion because i disagree with it. Religion is a HUGE thing to them and its a huge part of their lives. But then again, later on on the video, the parents/family just went down hill and reacted horribly to the situation which was also incredibly immature of them.[/QUOTE] But she was the one who brought up her religion and when it comes to objective fact, science does trump religion. Either way, I'm sick of people using their religion as a shield. As long as you as "as a Christian...." you can follow it up with whatever insanely bigoted and irrational nonsense you like, "As a Christian, I hate niggers and kikes" and no one will call you out on it because "they believe what they believe and religion is a sacred thing to them".
[QUOTE=Korova;45865403]But she was the one who brought up her religion and when it comes to objective fact, science does trump religion. Either way, I'm sick of people using their religion as a shield. As long as you as "as a Christian...." you can follow it up with whatever insanely bigoted and irrational nonsense you like, "As a Christian, I hate niggers and kikes" and no one will call you out on it because "they believe what they believe and religion is a sacred thing to them".[/QUOTE] I know but he had little respect for her belief as she did for his. They were both petty about it. All it needed was one of them to be mature enough to stop just for arguments sake.
[QUOTE=greeley;45869645]I know but he had little respect for her belief as she did for his. They were both petty about it. All it needed was one of them to be mature enough to stop just for arguments sake.[/QUOTE] How are you going to respect someone's belief when its the very thing causing them to destroy relationships? Its not even a battle of belief here, sure he said science trumps religion, and [U]in this context[/U], he is correct; genetics pronounces sexual orientation not choice.
[QUOTE=noh_mercy;45871994]How are you going to respect someone's belief when its the very thing causing them to destroy relationships? Its not even a battle of belief here, sure he said science trumps religion, and [U]in this context[/U], he is correct; genetics pronounces sexual orientation not choice.[/QUOTE] I guess i've just been brought up differently. Me and my family never really argue so its hard to see stuff like that. Normally if there is an argument brewing we normally diffuse it as quickly as possible so it doesn't get heated, thats by even just one of us dropping it asap or apologising, and 9 times out of 10 it works. If you just "fuel the fire" and argue back, it can destroy the relationship you had with that person in the worst way possible, which obviously happened here. I just feel like he was provoking his family to cause an argument for the cameras sake, because he wasn't actually getting a response he wanted quick enough. But then again thats just how i perceived the issue.
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