I find myself in a dilemma. Ever since I started reading and loving fantasy around ten years old, I've always fantasized about making my own world and write books set in it. About two years ago I started thinking about it more seriously, and ever since then I've been struggling about where to start.
I've drawn maps, thought up characters, written lore and all that; but nothing is successful, it always seems I need the lore to create a map/world, a world to create a story, a story to create the lore.
I've considered the fact that perhaps I'm aiming too big, I've thought about writing short stories and build up the world through that, but everytime I sit down to think of one I can't come up with a small compromised story and fitting characters and locations to go with it, everytime I feel like I have an idea I get another one and I can't think small enough or my original idea changes too much.
I start a story and dot know how to finish it or go on.
Didn't know where to post this but didn't feel like making a new thread, though I may if I don't get any response and we can call it writers block.
[QUOTE=MrJazzy;41302531]I find myself in a dilemma. Ever since I started reading and loving fantasy around ten years old, I've always fantasized about making my own world and write books set in it. About two years ago I started thinking about it more seriously, and ever since then I've been struggling about where to start.
I've drawn maps, thought up characters, written lore and all that; but nothing is successful, it always seems I need the lore to create a map/world, a world to create a story, a story to create the lore.
I've considered the fact that perhaps I'm aiming too big, I've thought about writing short stories and build up the world through that, but everytime I sit down to think of one I can't come up with a small compromised story and fitting characters and locations to go with it, everytime I feel like I have an idea I get another one and I can't think small enough or my original idea changes too much.
I start a story and dot know how to finish it or go on.
Didn't know where to post this but didn't feel like making a new thread, though I may if I don't get any response and we can call it writers block.[/QUOTE]
Two cents... well more like sixteen cents from a mere hobbyist:
[t]https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/22370734/howtosetting.jpg[/t]
Take a quote, atmosphere, struggle/event, or the most creative idea you've ever had. Bam, this is now the center of your story. Everything else serves to build up to it, characterize it, reinforce it. Anyone that describes your setting to a friend will mention it in the first sentence or so, it's the first thing that really hooks them and the last thing they'd let go off if something had to be cut.
Every idea that doesn't support this center should be discarded or left for intentional contrasting, because this center is what gives you and your setting clarity and structure. It's what makes your setting recognizable.
It's as important to your setting as this dying breed of light saber knights to Star Wars. It's Skyrim's "viking fighting a dragon in a snowstorm". It's Portal's key mechanic.
With that in mind, think how that central theme or whatever affects Average Joe. How it affects his family, his city, etc, move to whatever highest level of hierarchy your story or setting shall have. Once you'd collected some rough thoughts, scale it back down again step by step so you get a grasp of how the big political struggles or whatever influence the smaller bits, too.
This thought process begins and ends with Average Joe so you'll always think about how to introduce the setting to a reader via a proxy character they can relate to, instead of opening up with putting the leader into some political exposition dump throwing 20 unfamiliar words around.
If you want to create mystery that makes people want to explore your setting, take an element and think how it relates to your overarching theme. Or if you already have a name, think about what kinda location sits behind that name.
Chances are your reader will have the same (or a very similar) first assumption, because both of you went with the obvious. IMO it's great if you can recognize these expectations, build them up to make sure most people will have them, then subvert them to create mystery. "Show don't tell" works best of course, but the easiest way is to make the "relatable reader proxy" speak out the reader's assumption (which makes him even more relatable) and then have a "guide" character correct both him and the reader that will both show curiosity since they'll wanna know why the heck they were wrong. If the explanation is still consistent with the world and its overarching theme, you should be good.
For fleshing out any setting I also recommend keeping [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ZUynhkal1I"]these questions[/url] in mind:
- is there injustice?
- is there cultural conflict?
- religious conflict?
- political conflict? Political intrigue?
- is there economic struggle?
- is there conflict between haves and have-nots?
These conflicts and struggles help keep your setting breathing and at least *feel* like they're a snapshot of a much greater timeline that's always in flux and changing.
P.S.
Just because you have a singular idea arching over your story doesn't mean every major location has to feel the same, it can show different sides of the same coin. But generally this is an approach better suited for singular, concentrated stories or a simple backdrop for more varied personalities.
But think of Portal for example, both Portal games have one act of puzzle solving, one act of taking a look behind the curtain and one act of taking the fight to the puppeteer. Yet all parts complement the portal mechanic that lets you go where you normally couldn't - including where you're not supposed to be - and lets you outsmart your obstacles, be it puzzles, bosses or navigating abandoned terrain.
Also if you want a lazy but "practical" ending you might want to make your overarching *thing* a struggle that ends by the end of the story, possibly decided by the protagonist, and possibly killing him. Killing chars is always an easy way to wrap up plot strings and makes sense for building up a huge struggle and finale, but like I said it's kinda lazy and may lose impact if used without proper buildup and payoff.
Well, this thread seems to be a bit slower than it was when it first popped up. Even so, I'm kind of stuck and would greatly appreciate some help.
I'm writing a story in first person, but I'm having trouble keeping track of my tenses. I describe certain things in past tense and others in present tense. I'm not sure if I should just leave it as is or pick a single tense. And in the latter case, I'm not sure which one I should choose. Allow me to present this [del]shameless advertisement[/del] excerpt of the first few paragraphs of the story. (They're far from final, of course. I just whipped them up to give you all a general idea of what my writing is like.
[QUOTE]The shining, golden sun that was just starting to peek over the horizon contrasted greatly with the dark cloud I felt hovering over my head. The clear sky of this early September morning was a soft pink. A cool breeze casually tugged at my hair and filled my nostrils with the scents of late summer flowers and sunbaked grass. While I usually loved mornings like this, this particularly beautiful day was tainted by the fact that it doubled as my first day of high school.
I'm sure everyone is nervous about moving up to high school to some degree. Between learning the layout of a new school, trying to make a good first impression on the teachers, and avoiding the wrath of upperclassmen, it's a lot to swallow at once. If you add in the advanced curriculum and the teenage social issues that are bound to only get worse, you've got yourself one tough transition. Then there's the fact that the public school system is a disaster in itself.
I suppose now would be as good a time as any to introduce myself. I'm Gary Maximire, a student at Idunnoyetvilletowncity High School. Not to sound arrogant, but you could say I'm at the top of my class. A majority of my peers simultaneously adore and despise me for making school seem like a cakewalk. (The remainder just despises me.) That said, being good at school doesn't necessarily mean I enjoy it. Every day seems like a chore, with me frantically trying to finish assignments before class is over and taking them home when I inevitably fail to do so. The everyday struggles of the socially awkward smart kid certainly don't make me any more enthusiastic about going back.
[I]But what do I know?[/I] I thought, [I]High school could be different. It certainly can't be worse than middle school.[/I] I tilted my head to face the pink sky and prayed, [I]I hope.[/I][/QUOTE]
When I'm describing traits of the narrator and his opinions, I always use present tense. But when I'm describing things that happened (walking, thinking, speaking, etc.), I use past tense. I have a feeling this is wrong, so I'd like to nip it in the bud before I write a confusing mess of a story. Is this wrong? If it is, what tense should I use? How do I overcome this problem?
I would appreciate it if someone could help me out with this! Also, if you notice anything else about my writing (good or bad), please speak up!
[b]Edit:[/b] Holy shit I write walls of texts in this thread, my bad.
IMO you can keep both tenses if you don't jump around a lot or don't mix it up yourself, but it would probably be a lot more elegant to stick with one tense.
First person/present tense work well together because both are "closer" to the reader. IMO it excels in tense situations where impressions hit the narrator just as quickly as the reader. First person narrators in general tend to be Unreliable Narrators; the present tense one generally having a more "innocent" subjective view the reader simply experiences as he sees through his eyes, the past tense one generally because he crafts a story for an audience *after* the story has happened. A first person/past tense combo is also useful for retrospective insertions and foreshadowing by the narrator who can say stuff like "At this point, I thought X didn't matter. The opposite would prove to be true" to draw reader attention to details, build tension, whatever.
Both first person perspectives come with the allure of neglecting "show, don't tell" when your first person narrator talks with an audience in mind and the writer can easily use him to infodump whenever it's convenient. IMO the strength of first person is the opposite, it's breaking down barriers between what the MC experiences and what the reader experiences instead of getting a detached summary. You *could* have him mention he is
● self-conscious about being perceived as arrogant
● top of his class
● adored and despised by his peers for his success
● not enjoying it himself/feeling it's a chore
● always trying to get things done as quickly as possible
[b]or[/b] you could craft a character introduction scene in which
● he gets his Middle School certificate back*, but is too busy filling out his high school entry form to give a shit
● character A takes it and is fucking amazed about all dem delicious grades
● character B takes the test sheet from A and slams it back onto MC's desk, hoping that in High School they'll never have to deal again with drooling dolts like A adoring arrogant assholes like MC
● MC twitches at "arrogant", sighs in annoyance and grabs his stuff to go home/somewhere more quietly
And at that point you can enter his perspective and contrast the fight between two students with MC's calm weather appreciation thoughts. Gives you a bit of an exciting introduction without relying on In Medias Res and without having to mood swing back into calm thoughts, unless you want to do it on purpose (like everyone talking really excited about High School except for MC having much more solemn/pessimistic thoughts for a bit of Red Oni/Blue Oni stuff). If you don't, you can give the fight closing thoughts by MC and take the naturally arising location change opportunity to fast forward to his first day in High School.
The ambivalent judge of his character provided by A and B will also tickle the interest of the reader who will want to pass his own judgment and evaluate the MC for himself, openly welcoming a characterization of the MC even if you don't hide it well (tho if you do weave it into the narrative it'll reinforce the clue hunting behavior and possibly accustom the reader to this style of writing - if you plan on utilizing that technique more frequently). It puts the MC on a silver platter and says LOOK AT IT without the MC having any hand in it, which reflects his character as far as I can see.
If you do want to exposition dump I'd sneak it into dialogue to broaden your characterization and pacing tools without compromising immersion by just fourth walling it.
Can't really say much about your excerpt in detail since
● Me is from Ger, my no familiar with English as used in proper pieces of literature
● you said it's just something you whipped up, immunizing it against in-depth critique but not necessarily praise
● it's more of a summary than anything. We don't live through MC's first day in high school, we don't get to see him play out as a character, he's just summing up himself and his expectations.
I will say tho that if this is your introduction it's missing info on time period. Maybe have MC check the time on his smartphone to indirectly establish the time period by establishing the current level of technology. Can double as a moment for characterization, like him "checking his phone for the fifth time in three minutes" to show he's nervous or overly concerned about things going smoothly. A visibly aged phone (scratches'n'shit) could also demonstrate the time of narration is at least a couple years past that point of technology, while possibly characterizing MC by explaining why he has an old phone - or leave it unexplained and have the reader hunt for clues.
Hope some of this helps.
*if this is a huge deal in the US and you wouldn't just get your certificate in class, you can set the scene a few weeks prior and rewrite the certificate to be his last test. It should set up the "omg high school soon" atmosphere just as well. It also gives you opportunity to build up to the actual end of high school if you want to get the character introduction out of the way before High School kicks off the main story (or so I presume).
Thanks a lot for the response. I have a lot to respond to now, so I'll try to keep my replies in order.
I feel more secure with a mix of past and present tense, as it just feels right to me. However, I'm afraid of losing that "elegance" that you mentioned. I decided to experiment by writing a few sentences and changing them to be in each form.
Both:
[QUOTE]“If you've got a problem with me, just say so!” I shouted. This girl was really starting to get on my nerves. First she left me behind at the theater, and here she was trying to run away again. I could live with being hated by her, but I can't stand it when people refuse to tell me why.[/QUOTE]
This is what I would normally use. Events that happened, like the narrator shouting and the girl starting to get on his nerves, are in past tense. His ideals, however, are in present tense because he still holds those opinions.
Present Only:
[QUOTE]“If you've got a problem with me, just say so!” I shout. This girl is really starting to get on my nerves. First she leaves me behind at the theater, and now she's trying to run away again. I can live with being hated by her, but I can't stand it when people refuse to tell me why.[/QUOTE]
Now, I've read some stuff in first person, present tense that sounds amazing. But this just felt kind of awkward when I wrote it. I tried writing another paragraph, but I couldn't get past how odd it felt.
Past Only:
[QUOTE]“If you've got a problem with me, just say it!” I shouted. This girl was really starting to get on my nerves. First she left me behind at the theater, and here she was trying to run away again. I could live with being hated by her, but I couldn't stand it when people refused to tell me why.[/QUOTE]
I think this sounds all right, except it sounds like he's gone through some experience that made him change his views on what it's like to be hated.
As appealing as present tense seems, I don't think I'd be able to write an entire story like that. But an issue I have with past tense is that, whenever I describe people, it always sounds like they're deceased. "Eddie was a nice guy." What happened to poor Eddie? Is he dead? Is he just not a nice guy any more?
I'm tempted to use a mixture of past and present, but I'm afraid of it sounding kind of messy.
---
Now for the fun part. Ironically enough, I was just thinking about the whole, "Show, don't tell" thing. Trust me, that bit of exposition could've been a lot worse.
I feel the need to state that his excellence in school isn't a very big part of the story. The main focus is his interactions with other characters. (I apologize, because there's no way you could've known. The "excerpt" doesn't even hint at that.) I was just trying to give him characterization.
Your suggestions for the character introduction scene are beautiful. However, I kind of want the story to start out where it is right now (with him walking on the sidewalk on his first day of high school). Would it be all right if something like this happened a bit later on?
[QUOTE]"Well, glad to see you decided to come today," Seth said with a smirk, "How are you doing?"
"I'm fine," I replied, "Kind of nervous, though."
Seth scoffed. "What do you have to be nervous about?" he asked, "You've had perfect grades since, what, fifth grade? You'll be fine.[/QUOTE]
Once again, that was just something I whipped up. I apologize if it sounds kind of wooden.
---
I really appreciate your lengthy reply, and I'll probably read it a hundred more times before I finish this project. Thank you very much. I would've written a much longer excerpt in the first place, but I was having trouble figuring out my tenses. Heck, I'm still kind of stuck. I feel drawn to a mixture of past and present tense, unless there's something very wrong with it that I don't know about. Thanks again!
Time for some quote'n'response then:
[quote]I feel more secure with a mix of past and present tense, as it just feels right to me. However, I'm afraid of losing that "elegance" that you mentioned.[/quote]
Personally I can't take my gut feeling into consideration since almost everything I read is a third person/past tense combo, so the further something goes away from that the weirder it sounds to me. That's why I tried to mainly make "mechanical" arguments earlier. I'll say tho that mixed tenses, even when justified, can easily come off as sloppy or bloated due to the reader being expected to constantly shift thoughts between two vaguely similar yet vaguely different versions of the same character every other sentence, especially if they don't see the benefit of that technique.
Listening to your own gut is important tho. Feeling sick of a writing style you're forcing on yourself can distract from the creative process too much to make it worth it. If you're really, truly only compatible with mixed tenses, might as well go the full way and make the most out of the benefits of that style while being self-aware about its disadvantages.
[quote]But an issue I have with past tense is that, whenever I describe people, it always sounds like they're deceased.[/quote]
I usually read stuff in past tense, so I've gotten used to the idea of the story being a snapshot that simply doesn't tell me anything before or after the events the author deems important.
Oh yeah, because I treat [url="http://redlettermedia.com/plinkett/star-wars/"]Plinkett's[/url] rambling Star Wars prequel critique as the old testament and [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7MlatxLP-xs"]MrBTongue's[/url] rambling Mass Effect 3 ending analysis as the new testament and [url="https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/22370734/1351631677982.jpg"]this[/url] as the bible book cover, I feel obligated to point out I think the example scene could be contracted to something like
[quote]"If you can't stand me, fine, but at least be fucking honest about it so I don't have to stand in front of the theater like an idiot!"[/quote]
The "Precision F Strike" is there for emphasis and to help mark the end of a contextual section that the "so" conjunction finally leads to the next contextual section/theater memeory. Would also work without cussing if you cut the sentence into two instead or something, I just thought it flowed better that way - and flow is the entire reason I wanted to condense ~7 clauses into one sentence.
Personally I think it's superfluous to mention someone is getting on someone's nerves he's already using exclamation marks or is described as shouting or is using swear words (without any hint it's supposed to be "funny swearing"). Maybe I'm just an impatient reader, but I've never liked those little sentences making obvious observations. It just always felt like padding to me unless pacing demanded things to slow down a bit.
Right, onto the other bits.
---
[quote]The main focus is his interactions with other characters. [...] I kind of want the story to start out [...] with him walking on the sidewalk on his first day of high school.[/quote]
That contradiction could make writing the introduction really, really tough. At least I'd consider it well beyond my personal skill level.
I mean writing an introduction is already tough. You generally have like half a page to hook the reader so effectively they'll keep reading at least the rest of the chapter, you have to clarify the story's overall mood, atmosphere and context, familiarize the reader with at least 1-2 characters so he cares about them while the plot takes time to build up, and ideally you'll also want to clearly convey your story's main selling point as quickly as possible.
That's why many authors jump right into the meat of things with an In Medias Res or flash forward or at least an immediate sense of mystery.
The trap of a beginning where the MC is literally just walking down the road is to dump everything you want the reader to know straight into the MC's thoughts and write out an inner monologue with occasional descriptions of mundane surroundings. A "front-loaded introduction", so to speak, and one that firmly avoids the main focus of your story entirely. You could try to put in show-don't-tell-like characterization like my old example with him constantly checking the time on a phone that may or may not have aged well, and it does kinda sound interesting to describe a character completely indirectly and "silently" in this fashion, but as mentioned I think that would be outside my personal skill level, so... yeah.
I would suggest comedy to keep bits of characterization interesting, but the MC doesn't seem up for even some gallows humor, nor like a straight man for comedic outside situations.
The strength of comedy is that it can make your story interesting early on regardless of plot, setting or characters - and while keeping the common tension curve completely untouched, unlike In Medias Res for instance.
It also in my personal opinion makes things slightly more realistic, there's rarely a real life situation so dark nobody will think up a bad joke about it. Humor does allow us to take a step back and see things from an unusual angle, that's why it can enter the thought process of people trying to find a way of dealing with a problem or uncomfortable situation - it's the kind of humor that isn't actually trying to cheer up someone.
So yeah, showing instead of telling I find kinda hard without anything the singular character could bounce off of or interact with, and making an introduction gripping and memorable when it's a dude walking to school is out of my league I feel. You should have more tools to work with than me tho since you're much more familiar with the character.
----
I think your example works just fine. It does however seem to be all about the MC's "excellence in school" again. Which can work fine as a hook or introductory trait but doesn't seem to reflect your intention of "character interaction" being the strong point.
Personally I would've "contracted" it a bit with basically the same approach as above. Maybe something like this:
[quote]"...you seen a ghost, buddy?"
I must have sported the most nervous smile in human history that day.
"Don't tell me this year you're actually concerned about holding your A streak. Won't fool me again!" Seth added with a quick pat on my back [that pushed me further into the main hall].[/quote]
Around the same character count/word count as your version, but in theory it should improve flow because of fewer sentences/clauses. The last bit can also build a "bridge" into a descriptive paragraph.
I'll freely admit tho I've always been an impatient reader that's always skipped paragraphs and sentences pointing out nothing interesting/simply the obvious, so this obsession with ~flow~ might be just a bad habit of mine. Dunno how effective it is either, so take this with a big grain of salt.
Can't say anything on the topic of whether it sounds wooden as, again, most of my English comes from the interwebz. I'm glad if you could extract some use from my ramblings tho.
[QUOTE=Kirbunny431;41362707]I feel more secure with a mix of past and present tense, as it just feels right to me. However, I'm afraid of losing that "elegance" that you mentioned. I decided to experiment by writing a few sentences and changing them to be in each form.[/QUOTE]
Sorry, but you should never ever do this. Switching between tenses because it feels right is like, I don't know, not using periods because it feels right. It's very foundation-level stuff.
Almost all narrative is written in the past tense, so you'll want to use that unless you have a really good reason not to, especially if you're an inexperienced writer.
[QUOTE=TH89;41400203]Sorry, but you should never ever do this. Switching between tenses because it feels right is like, I don't know, not using periods because it feels right. It's very foundation-level stuff.
Almost all narrative is written in the past tense, so you'll want to use that unless you have a really good reason not to, especially if you're an inexperienced writer.[/QUOTE]
what are you talking about it just felt write to right like this so its okay
Don't worry, don't worry. Your post combined with this one:
[QUOTE=Marik Bentusi;41392517]Personally I can't take my gut feeling into consideration since almost everything I read is a third person/past tense combo, so the further something goes away from that the weirder it sounds to me. That's why I tried to mainly make "mechanical" arguments earlier. I'll say tho that mixed tenses, even when justified, can easily come off as sloppy or bloated due to the reader being expected to constantly shift thoughts between two vaguely similar yet vaguely different versions of the same character every other sentence, especially if they don't see the benefit of that technique.
Listening to your own gut is important tho. Feeling sick of a writing style you're forcing on yourself can distract from the creative process too much to make it worth it. If you're really, truly only compatible with mixed tenses, might as well go the full way and make the most out of the benefits of that style while being self-aware about its disadvantages.[/QUOTE]
...have made the case that I was acting, well, insane. I thought about it earlier, actually, and it kind of clicked that I wasn't doing myself any favors by insisting that I mix the tenses. Past tense it is!
Now for the rest of Marik Bentusi!
[QUOTE=Marik Bentusi;41392517]I usually read stuff in past tense, so I've gotten used to the idea of the story being a snapshot that simply doesn't tell me anything before or after the events the author deems important.[/QUOTE]
Fair enough. It's just something that just makes me panic now and then.
[QUOTE=Marik Bentusi;41392517]Oh yeah, because I treat [url="http://redlettermedia.com/plinkett/star-wars/"]Plinkett's[/url] rambling Star Wars prequel critique as the old testament and [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7MlatxLP-xs"]MrBTongue's[/url] rambling Mass Effect 3 ending analysis as the new testament and [url="https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/22370734/1351631677982.jpg"]this[/url] as the bible book cover, I feel obligated to point out I think the example scene could be contracted to something like
The "Precision F Strike" is there for emphasis and to help mark the end of a contextual section that the "so" conjunction finally leads to the next contextual section/theater memeory. Would also work without cussing if you cut the sentence into two instead or something, I just thought it flowed better that way - and flow is the entire reason I wanted to condense ~7 clauses into one sentence.[/QUOTE]
Neat! Swearing isn't really my style, but I'm sure I could substitute something else.
[QUOTE=Marik Bentusi;41392517]Personally I think it's superfluous to mention someone is getting on someone's nerves he's already using exclamation marks or is described as shouting or is using swear words (without any hint it's supposed to be "funny swearing"). Maybe I'm just an impatient reader, but I've never liked those little sentences making obvious observations. It just always felt like padding to me unless pacing demanded things to slow down a bit.[/QUOTE]
This is a major problem I have: I never know if I'm making something clear enough/stating it too much/making it stupidly obvious/making it so vague that only a college professor could interpret it. I often overcompensate and make the details a bit too clear.
[QUOTE=Marik Bentusi;41392517]-everything about the first chapter-[/QUOTE]
I want to say this first: Thank you sincerely for writing so much in response to all of my questions. It means a lot, and it's certainly a lot more advice than I've ever gotten in the past.
However, I must admit that I don't really have a complete outline for the story ready yet. I'm definitely not ready to start writing the first chapter/introductions yet. To be honest, I originally jumped into writing this partial chapter so I could have the thread tell me whether my idea was any good or not, if the story was engaging. (And, from your comments, it seems that I need to work on my introductions a fair deal.) Then I got sucked into that whole past/present tense thing, and here we are.
To be honest, I have no idea what I'm doing. I don't know if it's good/a sin to try writing part of a chapter when you don't have an outline yet. I probably just sound insane again.
I'm going to practice with introductions and experiment with the characters and potential scenes for the first chapter, definitely. But until I have something more solid to show I think I'll have to stick to asking more general questions and providing criticism if someone else comes into the thread looking for it.
[quote]This is a major problem I have: I never know if I'm making something clear enough/stating it too much/making it stupidly obvious/making it so vague that only a college professor could interpret it. I often overcompensate and make the details a bit too clear.[/quote]
I know the feeling, but if listening to Valve commentary nodes has taught me anything, it's that a lot of consistent details can convey just as much as outright stating something. If something's important, you can
- simply keep dropping clues, the reader is bound to stumble across a couple. In times of doubt, add more clues.
- draw attention to it with an establishing scene (like in my old example the MC twitched just as he heard "arrogant", marking it as a key word and causing the reader to re-evaluate the situation)
- draw attention to it with a recurring phrase or theme. If a character briefly feels like his veins are on fire every time he remembers something really embarrassing, you'll be able to use this metaphor instead of simply saying outright how that character feels/responds to a certain situation. Think of these recurring... things as pieces vocabulary you introduce.
- if you really don't want to spend a lot of time establishing something, have some bystander point it out. Person A describing themselves in detail can sound self-important easily, which may not be what you're looking for, but if A is being described by B to C, you can avoid that issue.
I'd try to use this technique sparingly as it's on a fine line between "show" and "don't tell", so I use it when I need to establish something quickly or when it's a fine detail that's only going to be important for a short time, thus not being worth a lengthy setup.
[quote]To be honest, I have no idea what I'm doing.[/quote]
I don't either, so this is perfectly fine with me.
[quote]I don't know if it's good/a sin to try writing part of a chapter when you don't have an outline yet.[/quote]
Technically I'm rewriting something I lost hundreds of pages of in a huge data crash, but somewhere around page 70 I now simply lost steam because I already know what's coming. The initial writing was way more messy, not thought-out at all, but also way more fun because without structure I could surprise myself more. It's fun to go back to core scenes and rewriting them into something rather different tho. Feels like an alternate universe all of its own. I should do more of that.
Anyway, it's like that Pixar poster says, you won't see what your story is actually about until you've seen it through to the end. Then you can reiterate/edit/rewrite. Maybe by the end you've condensed what you want to tell with this story in a single, elegant sentence you can put [url="http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BookEnds"]both at the end and the beginning[/url], which would directly affect the way your introduction is structured.
One more thing, I personally recommend occasionally checking your chars with the "Plinkett test" that simply says "Describe the character WITHOUT saying what they look like, what kind of costume they wear or what their profession or role in the story is."
Helped me re-evaluate and solidify the personality of my characters more than once and made it much easier for me to step into their shoes when writing their dialogue or behaviorisms.
But above all, remember to have fun. The reason you enjoy your story may very well also be the reason others will like it, so don't forget it.
A bunch of short and isolated tangents with no real start or end. I've labelled each of them with what they're about/based on.
[quote=Future war?]Campaign had been going for six years. Six years in the fucking alpha sector, god I was an unlucky son of a bitch. Two weeks without my squad and three without a warm bed, shave, or shower. Fastest road to Kaldern was Niptern via the I-01 road. Problem was if I ran into any ZX-20's on the way I was a goner. My five-five-sixer couldn't punch through ceramite even on the best of days, and when that ceramite is backed up with plasma, it means it's a squaddie sandwich unless you have demo charges. Tough luck.[/quote]
[quote=Warhammer 40,000 Orks.] Da kamp wuz all dark and da boyz were snoozin' loik DA GROTZ DEY ARE, ZOGGIN' KRUMMERS. neway, were wuz I? OH YEH! Da kamp was all dark and Oi waz cleanin' moi zoggin' mega-armor when some big 'ol 'umie stomped in and was like "ERE, YOU'Z A BIG WARBOSS, OI WANTS A FAVOUR." normally i'd ZOGGING THUMP DA GROT, but diz one 'ad gutz to come inta' MOI KAMP IN DA NOIGHT AND COME SPEAK TA' ME AN' ASK ME FOR A FAVA', so I 'ntertain'd the ZOGGIN GROT. an' 'e says "OI WANT YOU TO KRUMP DIS ZOGGIN' DISGRACE OF OURS" so I says "NAH" and ZOGGIN' FETHIN' KRUMP 'IS LAZY BOD AND 'E POPS LIKE A SQUIG! AHAHAAAHAH! WAAAAAAAAAGH![/quote]
[quote=Random over-the-top mutant thing] Freakenstein was in the center of the chamber. His shoulder was bleeding from where one of his little pet test subjects had broken loose and took a bite. Good, it'll teach him to fuck about with mutagen. Of course, he had a contingency plan; he grabbed a vial of mutagen then loaded it up into a hypo.
I watched as he rammed it into his own side and immediately screamed in horror and pain as suddenly his right arm exploded through his labcoat, blood spraying out of it as the skin tore and sinew and bone and muscle grew and expanded, claws and tendrils extending out of his now-mangled, no longer human fist.
His shoulders bulged against the tearing and stretching fabric as his neck and head receeded into the now grossly bloated muscle and flesh. His entire torso expanded into a monstrous, bloated carcass of a being and his legs gangily and painfully cracked, snapped, and extended into brutal effigies of a man's. Dr. Freakenstein was no more.
Hitting the deck hard I went rolling. My rifle clattered as I saw Dr. Freakenstein roar into the air, mutated flesh glistening under the darkening flourescent lights of his lab. Power was fading slowly but surely because of the generator sabotage I'd indulged in. Peace of cake.
I went strafing round the circular chamber, and he was quick to follow. I span round and started a backpedal, rattling off rounds into his bulging, muscular head, it was becoming more and more encased by pustulous, bleeding flesh, and I could see his face constricting as more and more of his skull split through the skin. What a fucking way to go.
I dodged and went rolling again, one of the mutant soldiers had got into the chamber and was disrupting the fight between the good doctor and I. I narrowly missed his claws then tore his head from his shoulders with a good, large, burst. Freakenstein hurled a vial of mutagen at me, so I leapt clear and watched as it burned clear through the wall. Witches brew.
[/quote]
[quote=Based on my cannibalistic Fallout 3 character.]I couldn't resist it anymore, that eternal drumbeat and painful hunger twisted my stomach and head in knots and I gave in. I drew my knife out and started to carve and mangle the dead Talon merc's right arm. I shredded off some of his muscle and lifted it in both hands and started to gnaw and chew and grind like a feral animal. I felt blood splatter over my face and mouth and clothes as I relentlessly fed. I tore his arm free of the socket and started mindlessly gnawing down to the bone. It tasted good. It tasted like home.
Craning my head back and spitting out blood and chunks of tendon I stood up and wiped my mouth. I felt unsatisfied and filthy. I felt like I had done something unspeakable, worse than doing drugs or sleeping with a hooker or getting drunk or even murdering someone. But I couldn't help it, that hunger WAS me. It was everything about me and drove me on, as well as driving me to madness. All I could taste was blood and meat and the air was thick with the reek of cordite and death. The smell of D.C.[/quote]
[URL="https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B4ixHGvfIPSTS3ZVMzgxdUVPWFE/edit?usp=sharing"]Intro for the latest draft of an eight year project[/URL]
If the formatting is odd, it's because of Scrivener. Hella useful program.
But yeah I've more or less put this one on the backburner despite getting semi-far. Still, I have 80% of the plot planned out, and all of the first half ingrained in my mind. First half is roughly five storylines, second half is unknown so far but at least three.
[sp]I took Hinto from him, not the other way around[/sp]
