Sex, Girlfriends and Shit IV - General

As mentioned by other users having the same issue, let it flow naturally. Thats what I did, I never planned on having sex that day I lost my virginity. It just happened

[QUOTE=Zeekybomb343;39294842]So my girlfriend is currently texting me and I think she's trying to convince me to have sex with her tomorrow. I say "I think" because she's really shy and nervous about saying anything even remotely sexual. We were talking about messing around (something we already do pretty regularly) but we've never gone all the way. Now she keeps asking if I want to "do something new." The thing is I'm a virgin (she isn't), and up until dating her I've never even gotten as far as making out with anyone. I'm nervous as hell but I don't want to disappoint her or something by just playing dumb or flat out saying "no."[/QUOTE] Well, you should not be forced into it. Don't try to succumb to the pressure. When I got together with my ex-girlfriend. I had sex like 10 times, she had an awful lot of experience and I was pretty nervous. We went on pretty slowly and then it happened and it was amazing. Also it doesn't add up, she is shy and nervous but wants to move on an convinces you to have sex with her. Tell her the truth about your feelings, don't feel like you have to play the alpha male. Just say that you are nervous about it and that you need some time. Perhaps you both should get more familiarized with each others body. That always worked for me. For instance, I am always having a hard time sleeping with someone that I barely know or just met.

[QUOTE=junker|154;39294900]Well, you should not be forced into it. Don't try to succumb to the pressure. When I got together with my ex-girlfriend. I had sex like 10 times, she had an awful lot of experience and I was pretty nervous. We went on pretty slowly and then it happened and it was amazing. Also it doesn't add up, she is shy and nervous but wants to move on an convinces you to have sex with her. Tell her the truth about your feelings, don't feel like you have to play the alpha male. Just say that you are nervous about it and that you need some time. Perhaps you both should get more familiarized with each others body. That always worked for me. For instance, I am always having a hard time sleeping with someone that I barely know or just met.[/QUOTE] The thing is we're pretty active without despite not going the whole nine yards. In particular I go down on her almost every time we're together. Telling me she wants something is really difficult for her but once we're already in the moment her inhibitions aren't nearly as crippling. We've been dating for a few months and a little while ago she told me she was ready for more. I've told her I'm not ready before, I just don't want her to lose her patience.

Sounds complicated, anyway she should not force you or convince you to do it if she wants to be a good girlfriend. You can only emphasize that you are not ready for it or that you want to take it more slowly. There is not much to do.

[QUOTE=Yahnich;39295054]say you're not comfortable with sex yet she'll understand [editline]20th January 2013[/editline] that's fucking bullshit; why would it not be acceptable for you to wait until you're ready[/QUOTE] It doesn't really make sense and I guess it's unfair for me to think she would lose her patience, I'm just really paranoid.

[QUOTE=Zeekybomb343;39295133]It doesn't really make sense and I guess it's unfair for me to think she would lose her patience, I'm just really paranoid.[/QUOTE] Don't worry about it, bro. If she really likes, she will have the patience and be happy with it.

Thanks, guys. I'll probably be coming back her a lot in the near future.

just don't drag it on for too long

My girlfriend just broke down mentally, she said that she was crying all the time and feeling so alone. I am studying pretty far away so I can't make it to her very often. I usually visit her in the vacations that I got and sometimes spontanously when I get an opportunity. She said that she has a hard time to deal with the whole situation. She said that she always waits every day for my arrival but it's just so long and cumbersome. I can understand that, I have a hard time at times to deal with it. I really do love her and I miss her often, but still I have to focus on my studies and I can deal with it. The lack of physical contact and proximity is hard but still manageable for me. Besides I am pretty much occupied. Now she says that she doesn't want it anymore and is secretly trying to convince me in studying somewhere closer but I don't really want to. I established myself here and like it. It's not easy now to transfer myself somewhere else. Furthermore I am now really dissapointed because she really convinced me to do this longdistance relationship thing, I was sceptical but she really tried it hard. Afterwards I was happy with it and I do not regret it. This girl means so much to me. But now she is all bitchy and terrified and I don't know what to do. The issue is that she is younger and has still some school to do. She complains that I don't see her often enough although I am going home every occaison that I can. It's still not enough for her, I can't do much besides of that. It's a matter of perspective I guess, she always only waits for me. She says that she does not have much friends at all and that her family sucks and nobody takes care of her. Which is true but still she could make something about it. I don't know what to do about it, I feel terribly dissapointed by her at this point. I just hope that is just a temporary crysis of some sorts.

I would still like that she grabs the wheel at times, I don't want to drive without her.

am i wrong or is it ridiculous that my girlfriend is upset and legitimately mad at me because i didn't want to cuddle one time after we had a quickie i complained that it was too hot because she always cuddles under a blanket because she doesn't like the cold as much - and it wasn't even full on long sex, which i cuddle with her after, just a quickie we had in the middle of watching something

she dislikes him now, yes [b]edit[/b] that isn't the question though omg ok gosh sheesh gosh golly wilikers

[QUOTE=Yahnich;39295796]why, it's your life, why would you want her to make the decisions for you? if you don't want to study closer because this uni is better then don't[/QUOTE] I still want her to be a part of my life. She makes things to easy right now, why can't she deal with this like I do. I am capable of dealing with it and I would be the last person on earth that thought that it could work.

snip

yeah probly [editline]21st January 2013[/editline] im pretty aware of it, i never even expected something serious but it happened. it's not that bad, i've had a worse relationship - there is potential but if we break up w/e

[QUOTE=Yahnich;39295940] just a fyi this is unlikely to end well[/QUOTE] And if/when (it's very likely to happen) it doesn't end well I'm going to jump about like that Gollum thing, singing out loudly in the silence of my relatively isolated home. And then I'll quickly post, "I told you soooo!"

[QUOTE=Yahnich;39295940]because she probably never was in a long distance relationship and underestimated the distance[/QUOTE] We have a great share of time time together, she is a person who stands for her promises and beliefs. This is something that comes quite unexpected. She is not the kind of person that changes so drastically. But right now I defused the situation a bit, I think it was just a temporaily feel of sadness. It gets to me to, although I am great at ignoring my own feelings by playing Killing Floor :v:

[QUOTE=U.S.S.R;39295996]And if/when (it's very likely to happen) it doesn't end well I'm going to jump about like that Gollum thing, singing out loudly in the silence of my relatively isolated home. And then I'll quickly post, "I told you soooo!"[/QUOTE] are you really that much of a frustrated virgin

[QUOTE=Pernoccuous;39296057]are you really that much of a frustrated virgin[/QUOTE] No, more like I think you're contributing to an overly large and scary statistic. And, you know, it's likely that you're going to inadvertently harm some guy awfully with all of this.

[QUOTE=U.S.S.R;39296111]No, more like I think you're contributing to an overly large and scary statistic. And, you know, it's likely that you're going to inadvertently harm some guy awfully with all of this.[/QUOTE] Your amount of non useful comments and bad jokes harmed my patience. Just contribute something of value instead of showing off with perfect grammar and witty comments.

[QUOTE=Yahnich;39296144]*witty[/QUOTE] Thank you sir! This is pretty sarcastic because I spam this thread with useless messages right now :v:

[QUOTE=junker|154;39296132]Your amount of non useful comments and bad jokes harmed my patience. Just contribute something of value instead of showing off with perfect grammar and witty comments.[/QUOTE] All I'll ever probably have to contribute with my stemmed knowledge about the romantic world is two pieces advice, one of them is obvious and the other is what came out of an abusive relationship. Don't cheat. Don't scream at or berate or attack your partner for not wanting something, or not wanting to do something. Other than that, all I can really do is make bad jokes with not-very-perfect grammar. Boredom and borderline-loneliness mix well to make bad jokes and mostly stupid, ranting posts.

[QUOTE=Yahnich;39296119]oh don't worry he already crushed a dude's soul by banging his fiancé and making her hate him (i never said i agreed with pernoccuous)[/QUOTE] turns out he was doing a lot of annoying shit anyway, i kind of just gave her an escape

i still dont think she has a fiance

naw i've met the guy [editline]21st January 2013[/editline] p.s. they were never really fiances, it was a promise ring i found out (lol) [editline]21st January 2013[/editline] really all i contributed to was the downfall of a bad relationship

[QUOTE=junker|154;39295334]My girlfriend just broke down mentally, she said that she was crying all the time and feeling so alone. I am studying pretty far away so I can't make it to her very often. I usually visit her in the vacations that I got and sometimes spontanously when I get an opportunity. She said that she has a hard time to deal with the whole situation. She said that she always waits every day for my arrival but it's just so long and cumbersome. I can understand that, I have a hard time at times to deal with it. I really do love her and I miss her often, but still I have to focus on my studies and I can deal with it. The lack of physical contact and proximity is hard but still manageable for me. Besides I am pretty much occupied. Now she says that she doesn't want it anymore and is secretly trying to convince me in studying somewhere closer but I don't really want to. I established myself here and like it. It's not easy now to transfer myself somewhere else. Furthermore I am now really dissapointed because she really convinced me to do this longdistance relationship thing, I was sceptical but she really tried it hard. Afterwards I was happy with it and I do not regret it. This girl means so much to me. But now she is all bitchy and terrified and I don't know what to do. The issue is that she is younger and has still some school to do. She complains that I don't see her often enough although I am going home every occaison that I can. It's still not enough for her, I can't do much besides of that. It's a matter of perspective I guess, she always only waits for me. She says that she does not have much friends at all and that her family sucks and nobody takes care of her. Which is true but still she could make something about it. I don't know what to do about it, I feel terribly dissapointed by her at this point. I just hope that is just a temporary crysis of some sorts.[/QUOTE] My only advice is just to remember that your future overall matters more. Gfs may come and go but whatever job you get is what you get for the rest of your life (unless you want to go back to school and waste a lot more money doing it over again) It's a problem my bf and I are hitting now both going into college we may have to go to different places to get the best for each of us but have both agreed that we will go to the best place we can rather than waste an opportunity to stay closer.

so yeah she didn't have a fiance and some promise that was wow

[QUOTE=Yahnich;39296490]still terrible, getting cheated on is a terrible feeling. don't justify your own bullshit[/QUOTE] i wasn't justifying what i did

Well hell, I feel better now. I mean, I have no reason to, and I shouldn't, but I do.

be quiet, go outside and sociallise already